Funfiction - SCP Foundation

O5-7 arrived to the breached containment unit at the lowest underground level of Site-19. Director Bright waited for her along with a Containment Specialist.

“It’s good to see you again, Jack,” said the overseer. “Sorry for the wait, I had to come here all the way from the HQ as per protocols. Let’s see what we are dealing with here.”

The man standing next to Bright handed over a dossier to her. “Thank you, Dr. Blackbox,” she said after looking at his ID badge. “If I understand correctly you were the Containment Specialist assigned to this item.”

“Yes, Madam. The containment was breached yesterday. We evacuated all personnel not involved in the recovery operation.”

“I see. Let us start the investigation with the containment unit.”

They entered the grandiose cubical room. It was discreetly embraced by a 3 inch thick layer of pure titanium. The overseer looked into the dossier, and started skimming its contents.

“Scp-7448: Blood Ogre … Keter … virgins to be sacrificed … unparalleled aptitude for martial arts … Scantron Anchors … may freely roam the facility,” she said then stopped for a moment. “I think I got all the necessary information now.”

How could that happen in the Foundation’s largest Site? she wondered, unconsciously looking at the upper right corner of the nearest wall as if it could show anything about the validity of her concerns. An empty wall, polished and made from the king of the metals, stared back at her.

“We have to recover it as quickly as possible. Are you in, Jack?”

“Oook,” replied Dr. Bright who was occupying a primate body.

“You might want to arm yourself if you are up against that otherworldly demon,” said a man stepping into the room. He was wearing an orange overall with a 6-digit number on it. “Here, take this gun. They gave me two anyway.”

“I don’t think firearms would be useful against it, but thank you nonetheless,” said the overseer showing her smuggest grin to Blackbox. Then she pulled the trigger.

Dr. Bright and O5-7 arrived to the cafeteria following the path of destruction. The monstrous ogre stood at the center of the hall, laughing with arms crossed. The floor was covered in broken tables and chairs, kitchenware and the scattered ashes of MTF Kappa-13 (“Red Shirts”). A screen at the cafeteria’s wall was miraculously left unharmed.

Safety First

23 hours, 57 minutes and 45 seconds

have passed since the last containment breach.

Keep Site-19 secure together!

O5-7 noticed a familiar figure lying under some debris. “Alto, swallow this, quick!” she said as she ran to him and handed over a pill from a plastic can labeled ‘500’. The next moment the shirtless Clef was standing in front of the ogre with replenished energy in his muscles and renewed determination in his eyes. O5-7 fainted as she couldn’t handle the raw manliness radiated by him.

“Oh, you are up again, just when I thought we were finished. Show me what you got then, human!”

“That’s what your mother said too.”

“How dare you mock me, you lowly scum!” shouted SCP-7448. “I shall destroy you with my ultimate technique.”

“What kind of ultimate technique could that be?” asked Clef. “You don’t look like you have one.”

“Foolish mortal! This attack is the most powerful of all. You know the guy who can summon any blade he wants? Well, I can wield him!” he said. Able appeared out of thin air, wearing his sharpest suit. The ogre grabbed him by the legs and swung towards Clef.

“You think I wasn’t prepared for that?” said Clef and pulled out a Middle Eastern man with metal limbs from … well, no one was really sure from where. He used him as a human shield to reflect the strike back at the attacker. As the fierce battle reached its climax, the banana Dr. Bright was eating started to turn brown.

SCP-7448 pulled out Able’s head from his nasal cavity, preparing for another strike. Clef glanced to his right as the screen changed colors.

Safety First

24 hours, 0 minutes and 2 seconds

have passed since the last containment breach.

Keep Site-19 secure together!

“Fourth!” he shouted at the top of his lungs. SCP-7448 was deleted at -50 and four staff votes.

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