Spilled Milk - SCP Foundation

Spilled Milk

By: Lt Flops

Published on 13 Mar 2020

This article is set in the Broken Masquerade Hub.

This article was written for 144-Hour Jam Contest Two (2020).

Other Works by Lt Flops!

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F.A.Q.

Spilled Milk

Canon Hub » Broken Masquerade Hub » Spilled Milk

A voicemail sent by one Chaz Ambrose of Ambrose Restaurants to an unknown party about a partnership with Moosphere, Incorporated.

Andy! Hey mate, it's Chaz!

So, I got the MC&D shareholders together for one final board meeting, right? And some were, well, still a tad skeptical of the whole thing. I'm telling you: I haven't had that much difficulty giving a pitch since cookery school, heh heh! I got a hold of a few Oneiric representatives who, luckily, were more than willing to spin their dreams into day for us. They'll be able to ease along our partnership with those secretive Moo… Those moo fellows. Can't recall their name, sorry!

We've been working on the insurance angle — can't seem to get that sorted out yet, sadly — but I'm telling you, we'll have this all set up within six, maybe twelve weeks, by the latest!

Andy? 2025's our bloody year! That's right — Ambrose is setting up shop in the Mindscapes, baby!

Six, maybe twelve weeks later. Soft opening for Ambrose Mindscape.

AMBROSE MINDSCAPE

~in partnership with~

Moosphere, Inc.

For more than [UNKNOWN] long Ages, Moosphere, Incorporated has been a forerunner in surrealistic dairy artisanship; a feast for more than 30 BILLION souls and counting! By the fruits of their very spirits, our well-trained Oneiric confectioneers would like to serve you our many fresh, EGO-SHATTERING delights. Mouth-watering cuisine is hard-coded in their DNA — we're sure of it! Feed your chakric affirmations, O vaccimulgent one!

For your benefit, Ambrose Restaurant has selected 100 lucky folks from the Free Ports catchment area to come and feast!

JOIN US!

Please note: The True Name listed on your Library Card is required to enter.

Don't forget to leave a review!

REVIEWS

The latest customer reviews, powered by Void!

Join in the discussion with #ambrosemindscape!

Ighruithrh'dhren

⁂many-ꙮd-gf

ever since i went to #ambrosemindscape, i've been hallucinating so. many. worlds. ugh, i've not had a panpsychismic migraine this bad in epochs, it's unbelievable. thanks for appropriating eldritch culture, fleshbag. #whowon? #whosecultureisnext? #youdecide

ECHOES 366

HUMS 790

11:25 AM · 12 March 2025

The Cosmic Fish

⁂virtuallight

I've taken Ways to Ambrose Restaurants many times in the past. You guys have access to some of the finest cuisine the paranormal market has to offer. And you've always been very accessible to my needs, even in my current form. But this time, did you guys even do your research? Dude, you partnered with MOOSPHERE? Do you even know what these guys DO TO SAPIENTS? You eat their dairy products and they suck your mind THROUGH A NON-BIODEGRADABLE STRAW! #ambrosemindscape

ECHOES 159

HUMS 238

12:01 PM · 12 March 2025

CRAB LORD

⁂CRABLORD

🦀 CHAZ AMBROSE IS A BITCH-ASS GRIFTER 🦀 HE HUMAN-PEED IN CRAB LORD'S PARFAIT 🦀 DAMN YOU TO THE DEPTHS 🦀 #AMBROSEMINDSCAPE

ECHOES 1.1k

HUMS 1.4k

6:15 PM · 12 March 2025 · VOID FOR ONEIROI SEA

unborn chubby

⁂tinkleschubbyghost

#ambrosemindscape ohm my god help theyve taken mmy mind i can feel it theyre loading it into a dropssssship back to nightmareland holy frick someone plz hELP ME

ECHOES null

HUMS null

8:59 PM · 12 March 2025 · Void for ☒☒☒☒

Theodore Greenleaf

⁂theodoreGL

You are disrespecting the Library of Her Serpent by using Her Cards for a simple online-review parlour trick. I have reported you to the nearest Librarian. And that gimmick where you take people's minds to add back into your gestalt mass, or whatever? Not cool. Oh, and I want my money back. #ambrosemindscape #wandererslibrary

ECHOES 1

HUMS 4

9:41 AM · 13 March 2025 · Void for Waytech

Following a tip-off to a Foundation Site, Mobile Task Force Mu-13 ("Ghostbusters") was alerted to the nearest Mindscape nexus gate and commenced a raid at the conceptual corner of Surreptitious and Scrumptious. At the supposed location of Ambrose Mindscape, no conscious activity was detected.

MTF-Mu-13 remains on stand-by.

A phone call between Chaz Ambrose and an unknown party.

…

Oi Andy, it's Chaz. I'm calling because…

We've had some, er, growing pains, in a manner of speaking. No no, it's okay. It's cool. I totally get your vibe. Just, breathe for a sec.

…

You good now? All right.

So anyway, like I said last time, I've just been having the worst headache lately. … What's that? Oh, it's nothing. I spoke with my new shrink, Marcie, she says it's just my anxiety flaring up again. No “raving sub-mariner extrusion” or whatever hysteria's struck the news again. Seriously, nothing to panic about.

Right! Now, we had the place up last week, over on the conceptual corner of Surreptitious and Scrumptious, buuut… We've had irate mindscapers from all over the thought-sphere pouring into our Head Office in Portland — er, one of 'em — the whole weekend. All protesting over dodgy business practices or what have you.

I spoke with this one thoughtform, through e-mail? Friendly l'il thing, just the cutest! We chatted for a bit; said xe attended my second-ever soft opening down in SanFran, y'know, before we took the brand out East. It warmed me right up! But xe said that xe took issue with the way Ambrose has been presenting ourselves lately. Said I, personally, am in with the wrong crowd. Seems not many are down to marry the dairy yet–

Oh, you wanna know what I said? Well I told 'em, you know, “we respect the anomalous community,” right, and “this is our way to give back,” and all that. It came from the heart, you know.

I… Think I ruffled a few feathers. Like, metaphorically-speaking. Er… 'pparently I've been using the wrong word? And “paranatural” is what we use now? It's meant to inspire strength for a diversity of beings, and solidarity no matter how mundane — that sort of thing.

…

Andy, do you know what “ok noomer” means?

Sorry, I'm rambling, but what I wanted to say was, I want this to be a fresh start. I want to put my best foot forward.

I want Ambrose to do important things this year. We'll make a few hundred thousand gees, I'm sure, but I want our customers to feel appreciated. For following us all these years.

Ayup! Thanks for hearing me out, then! All right. And er, Andy? Whatever you do, don't look on Void for a couple days.

Take care now!

See Also:

Milk Hub

SCP-6705 - The Bicameral Milk

SCP-4475 - So Long, and Thanks for All the Milk