What's Real? - SCP Foundation

“Agent Powell, this is Site 42. Do you have eyes on the target?”

“Negative, doc. Team is in position. We’re approaching manifestation time. Subject should arrive within the next half-hour.”

“Good. Make this a clean retrieval.”

“Right, right… Uh, doc? Can I ask you a question?”

“Is it relevant to your mission?”

“Well, sort of. It’s just that, you know… It’s a full moon, right? And I was wondering, uh… Are we hunting a werewolf?”

“… Negative, Agent Powell. You’re pursuing a metamorphic entity with transformations based off of the lunar cycle.”

“Yeah, but I read the briefing. It turns into a wolf.”

“It is a humanoid being which gains physical traits similar to that of Canis lupus, yes.”

“Okay, but that’s a werewolf.”

“Agent Powell, ‘werewolf’ is an unscientific term, and it should not be used to describe an anomaly we do not yet have a full understanding of.”

“You gave us silver bullets.”

“Testing on DNA samples gathered from previous manifestation sites has shown that silver's molecular structure causes it to be able to penetrate the subject's unusually thick epidermis. Now, Agent Powell, if you could please focus…”

“But that’s just it! I can’t focus! This has opened up the floodgates for me! I mean, if werewolves are real, what else is? Like, are vampires real? Are Frankensteins real?”

“No. And Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster.”

“Are mummies real?”

“No. Wait. Technically? I mean, they definitely exist, but do you mean the ones that walk around? No. No, never mind.”

“What about the Loch Ness Monster? Or the chupacabra? See, I can’t stop wondering now.”

“Agent Powell, if you don’t stop this, I'll have to have a word with your commanding officer.”

“What about dinosaurs? Are dinosaurs real?

"What? Yes. Of course they're real. Dinosaurs weren't an anomaly. Now, Agent Powell, I'm ending communications. If you could please just—"

“Is Bigfoot real?”

“…"

"Doc? Are you still there?"

And that’s the story of how Agent Powell got demoted to file clerk.