The Cat and the Monkey - SCP Foundation

The members of a feminist group turned into pigs, the office of a political party occupied by screaming apes, all the participants in a religious ceremony lobotomized without a single drop of blood being spilled. Faced with the horror encountered on each occasion, Marw couldn't stop wondering what the point of what he was witnessing was. What the culprit of these insane acts was up to and what was the meaning of the flyers found at each site, sometimes stained and partially destroyed but always filled with meaningless scribbles. And even more, what would be the next step of that guy.

Because, even though he was one of the best detectives in the world, he had to admit with regret that he was always one step ahead.

Afternoon on a Sunday, Baptist Church of… well, its name and location are not relevant, besides they should take care of cleaning up the place later, once I conclude my investigation - thought Marw. It had all happened during the morning, during which time the entire congregation was missing.

On that occasion Marw was lucky to arrive even before the police. The front door of the building was slightly open, so he was able to enter without any problems, being immediately his nose punished with a stench similar to a farm yard. He found in front a group of sheep, two or three dozen animals of different ages bleating frantically, confused and frightened. And with them a shocked clergyman, squatting and unable to comprehend what was in front of his eyes.

Apparently, Marw talking to him was not the best idea, since the surprise ended up overcoming the man, causing him to faint. It was at that moment when he noticed for the first time that guy, laughing loudly from the entrance of the building.

- I can't believe it, who has been my stalker and aspiring foe is a cat. A cat and even more with a hat, in the name of Darwin, this is incredible, sublime, and unheard of, hahaha. Are they so understaffed that must degrade to send a kitten in pursuit of me? - said the monkey.

Because his interlocutor was not a person but an ape, specifically a chimpanzee. Apparently, the specimen had nothing exceptional about him, except that he spoke and wore a pair of sunglasses.

After taking a deep breath and still smiling, the monkey continued:

- Now kitten tell me what you think of my art, is it true that the message conveyed by each piece is powerful and unique? Although sadly I can't consider myself an original artist, I just help others to express what's inside them.

Marw pulled back his ears and hissed with anger.

- You call this art, you sick fuck? What the hell do you mean there's a message involved? All I see is a crude joke in lousy taste, you're no better than a monkey throwing his dung at zoo visitors.

Clearly offended, the monkey replied:

- Shut up you servile pussy, you judge me and you are nothing more than a pet playing at being somebody. If it bothers you so much what I do, why don't you stop me?

Before he could finish saying those words Marw jumped right in his face, hurting him.

The struggle was brief. Although he clung fiercely to his rival, the ape ended up grabbing him, throwing him violently towards the benches, towards where the group of sheep was, after which he fled.

- My name is Pan, pussy. – was the last thing Marw heard before he was knocked unconscious.

The next few days were a time of depression for Marw. He stopped grooming and eating, and used catnip to excess, even more than the doctor would have tolerated. He felt like a failure for having acted that way and lost a valuable opportunity but anger had blinded him. At least the monkey (Pan, he corrected himself) had not acted up again, perhaps he feared being discovered again although he doubted it. In the past, he had managed to take down teams of well-trained men, with conceptual traps, and worst things, he wouldn't stop for a couple of scratches from a simple cat. The monkey only believed in what he called art and what he took as a personal mission and after meeting him personally he understood that nothing would stop him.

It was during a Furry convention that some of their attendees began to behave strangely, emitting disjointed vocalizations and moving around on four legs, as well as trying to mate with domestic animals present at the venue. When other assistants managed to immobilize them and tried to remove their costumes, they discovered that the costumes were fused to their tissues and that the fantasy features were now functional. According to witnesses, all of those affected had received flyers from a short guy in a very realistic chimpanzee costume.

They came and took the transformed subjects away, making the witnesses forget what they had seen.

Again he was one step ahead.

It's just a hunch, Marw told himself. The monkey bragged about his creativity, he never repeated himself in his plays but that was the closest public event. Besides he couldn't help thinking that the last "performance" he had done was directed at him and that it was a direct challenge. That was why he had left without the knowledge of his superiors, on his way to what he hoped would be his final confrontation.

Early in the day at a Japanese animation fans convention. When arrived he found the monkey in a ridiculous costume, consisting of a turban and a cape in addition to the ever-present sunglasses, taking a picture with a girl of about 15 years old dressed as the character of a popular series.

The girl, after thanking him for the photo, accepted a flyer that the monkey was handing out.

It was only a few seconds after reading the document that the girl began to scream and her body proportions altered, her eyes and breasts enlarging and her waist narrowing, in front of the horrified gaze of her friends.

- Hello kitty, I see you're a little early for the show. I must congratulate you for following the clues correctly and finding me, it shows that no matter how much you deny it, you are a real fan of my work…

Before he finished saying those words, Marw drew his Smith & Wesson M642 from a holster strapped to his side and shot him 5 times, taking him down.