Here Comes Your Man - SCP Foundation

Since SCP-6369 has entered containment, Foundation personnel have found it consistently useful in day-to-day life. The risk of adverse situations or incidents will always remain a possibility with anomalies that are allowed substantially less restrictive containment measures than is usual (particularly when operating in and around Sites). Yet as time goes on, the usefulness of 6369, coupled with a complete lack of hostility in every capacity, has endeared itself to many. Site Directors have been inundated with emails concerning 6369, as well as how it functions.

At the request of several Foundation employees and with the cooperation of the Department of Internal Medias, filming of SCP-6369 and its activities in assisting Foundation personnel will be undertaken! When filming commences, the Department will edit it together into a montage for employees to access as needed, in order to allow a complete view into how SCP-6369 operates and boost morale. If you wish to be filmed as 6369 assists you in locating lost objects, please specify in your request to your Site Director. Please note while submitting your request that in order to make filming substantially easier, as well as assist 6369 if needed, filming will be done via specialized cameras attached to SCP-131. If you have any further questions concerning filming, please direct them towards Department Head Alexsander Leigh. I look forward to seeing what comes as a result of this, and hope you all enjoy as well!

~ Sophia Light, Site-17 Director

Video Transcript Project 6369-131-A:

Personnel: Researcher Rose Labelle

Site: 19

SCP-6369-A Instances: Two Chinchilla Berkshire rats, SCP-6369-A-L1 & L2, Roborock S5 Max.

00:00: SCP-6369-A-L1 "knocks" on Researcher Rose Labelle's office door. 6369-A-L2 is positioned on top of SCP-131-A.

Rose Labelle: Ash, can you get that! I'm pretty sure it's the good rats!

00:06: 6369-A & 131 remain stationary.

Rose: Ash?

00:09: 6369-A & 131 continue to remain stationary.

Rose: I'm really busy right now, so it'd be — oh fuck me, why didn't you say you went to the bathroom.

00:20: Sighing is audible as footsteps approach the door, before Researcher Labelle opens it, smiling at 6369-A-L1. Her gaze moves towards 131-A, appearing to be briefly startled while still maintaining her smile.

Rose: Hey! So that's what the pods look like in-person then. Do what you need to. I left some ham for you all by the fax machine whenever you find my earring. I'm super busy with work, so I can't help, sorry.

00:38: Rose moves to sit back down at her desk to work. 6369-A-L1 directs the vacuum towards a row of filing cabinets as 131 follow behind. 6369-A-L1 points at an object, which reflects light back, at the top of the highest cabinet. The camera tilts up and zooms in on the object as 6369-A-L1 & 6369-A-L2 communicate with each other.

01:49: After finishing, 6369-A-L2 hops onto the ground. 6369-A-L1 turns to 131-A, moving its arms & pointing at various cabinets, 6369-A-L2, & both 131-A & 131-B. 131-A & 131-B quietly babble to each other, before the camera shakes up & down.

02:30: 131-A moves, lining behind 131-B as both reorient their angle. The cameras affixed to 131 are angled to each other such that they form a stable ramp.

02:39: Movement is heard on top of 131-A, with both instances of 6369-A entering view shortly afterwards. 6369-A-L1 runs ahead of 6369-A-L2, leaping off of 131-B's camera into the air. 6369-A-L1 quickly follows, successfully landing on top of 6369-A-L1, before bouncing off of it onto the filing cabinets.

02:46: Both instances of 6369-A repeatedly squeak, with 131-A babbling & bouncing up & down. The cameras remain fixed on 6369-A-L2 as it starts to climb up the remaining cabinets to the highest point.

Rose: Everything good there, you guys?

Jeffery Ash: Yup, all good Rose!

Rose: Ash. Jesus Christ. You need to let me know when you're taking a break. I'm juggling a number of different things at once, and I would love all the help I can get with that.

03:30: 6369-A-L2 arranges a number of folders & handbooks to climb on top of, before jumping & successfully catching onto the edge of the top cabinet. 131-B mewls.

Jeffery: Is it that bad?

Rose: Well, Conwell wants me to look into another lead on Anderson, I still have to do the baseline minimum each day to maintain the Andronika anomaly, and someone thought it would be real funny to flood my emails with more bullshit about me. What's on your plate?

Jeffery: For some reason, I got an email forwarded to me about doing additional tests on 3967 by one of the personnel on its project. So I'm making sure that's all above-board.

Rose: Weird. Well, at least take on the Andronkia thing. These emails are endless. Did you guys find it?

04:11: 6369-A simultaneously squeak. 131-A's camera zooms in on 6369-A-L2 as it starts climbing into a small container.

Jeffery: What am I finding?

Rose: Not you, the good rats. Remember? I had to do a favor for Aktus so he could get me a single day to be able to use 6369. I need that asymmetrical earring for the upcoming —

04:30: SCP-6369 rings. Rose answers the phone, immediately setting it back down as it plays to continue on work.

Rose: Thank you! You can take the ham. Ash, can you tell me where the rat with the earring is?

Jeffery: It's on top of that huge-ass cabinet, why?

04:39: Rose freezes for a second, turning around to look up at 6369-A-L2.

Rose: What? Why is it up there? Wait, isn't that the storage box you were using to clean out the office a few weeks ago?

Jeffery: Ohhh, yeah. Now I remember! I saw an earring on the ground, but it didn't match the other one you had, so I thought it was one of the assistants that had came in around that time. So I just put it in the box while —

Rose: You… you…

Video Transcript Project 6369-131-C:

Personnel: SCP-4966

Site: 17

SCP-6369-A Instances: One agouti-colored hooded rat, SCP-6369-A-E5, Roomba 694.

00:00: SCP-131-A's camera turns on, inside SCP-4966's containment cell. Dr. Randall Bannock is present, sitting on a beanbag chair while conversing with 4966. While SCP-131-B follows around SCP-6369-A-E5 in the search, 131-A remains stationary, filming the entire chamber.

Randall Bannock: — can turn it on, now. Just not when you guys enter or leave the containment chamber. Be as thorough as you like. Now, how in the world did you lose it, SCP-4966?

SCP-4966: Small munchies are easy to lose.

Randall: Why did you not eat it right away, though?

SCP-4966: Special munchy.

Randall: What?

SCP-4966: Remember? Three days ago. I ate the special butterfly even though it looked yucky, so you gave me a little special munchy. As a treat.

Randall: Oh, yes, the test with ████. Chef Elpida's specially-baked biscuit. It was fresh, did you not want it right away?

SCP-4966: I did. But I was full, from the butterfly. It made me feel silly. Nice, but silly. I had trouble with eating it. So I hid it in my special spot for later, with the other special munchies.

Randall: The other mun — Okay, so where is your special spot?

SCP-4966: I forget. Hey, can I have a munchy?

01:06: Dr. Bannock rubs his forehead, sighing slowly & quietly.

SCP-4966: Please?

Randall: After they're done looking.

SCP-4966: I'm hungry now.

Randall: Will you hide it again?

SCP-4966: In my stomach.

Randall: Do you promise, SCP-4966?

01:15: SCP-6369 rings. Dr. Bannock answers it, holding it up to his ear, as 6369-A-E5 brings the biscuit to 4966 on its back.

SCP-4966: Yes. Hey, special munchy!

Randall: There it is. As we talked about earlier, now you must pay SCP-6369.

SCP-4966: Wait! But… but…

Randall: You can't expect others to do work for free, right? They need… their munchies as well.

01:31: 4966 shifts around for two seconds before moving to the spot 6369-A-E5 retrieved the biscuit from, at the base of a climbing tower. With minor struggling, it frees numerous additional pieces of food from the location, including several cracked walnuts, pushing it towards 6369-A-E5.

Randall: Hold on, wait, that's so many munchies, how —

02:01: 4966 moves in front of 131-A's camera, looking at 131-A.

SCP-4966: Are you a munchy too?

Video Transcript Project 6369-131-J:

Personnel: Researcher Dean Harle

Site: 19

SCP-6369-A Instances: Three male grey Dumbo rats, SCP-6369-A-D1 through D3, Roomba 675.

00:04: SCP-6369-A "knock" on the office door of Dr. Dennis Harle1. SCP-131-A moves around behind the vacuum as the door opens.

00:14: Dr. Harle opens the door, looking down at 6369-A & 131. He smiles, gesturing them to come inside.

Dennis Harle: Hello, hello. Feel free to take your time. Just, ah, try not to bother Dean too much if you can help it. He has a lot of documentation to fix up.

00:19: 6369-A-D1 nods to the other two rats, who hop off the vacuum & begin scurrying around the room. 131-A begins to follow them as 131-B follows 6369-A-D1. As they move forward into the room, 131-B stops briefly to look up at Researcher Dean Harle, who is watching 6369-A-D2 & 6369-A-D3 quizzically. After three seconds, Researcher Harle notices 131-B & scowls.

Dean Harle: What? Don't you have something else to do, you one-eyed freak?

00:44: 131-B sustains a high-pitched noise for approximately one second. Researcher Harle's right eye twitches as 131-B turns the camera to follow 6369-A-D1.

00:49: 6369-A-D2 climbs up a trashcan underneath Dr. Harle's desk as 6369-A-D3 jumps onto the desk's drawer handles to navigate up & into the drawers. 6369-A-D2 reaches the top of the trashcan, where it then accidentally falls in.

Dennis: So, Dean, you never told me what you lost.

Dean: Does that matter.

Dennis: Don't tell me… you're not camera-shy, are you?

Dean: Fuck off. Don't you have that earlier revision for that milk skip I keep asking about? I need to compare shit.

Dennis: What milk skip?

Dean: Hey now…

01:28: 6369-A-D1 navigates the vacuum towards Researcher Harle's desk, stopping it & looking into 131-B's camera, squeaking. 131-B reorients itself & points the camera towards the top of Researcher Harle's desk, cutting the head off from view. The camera bobs slightly, indicating 6369-A-D1 moving on it.

Dennis: What milk skip, Dean?

Dean: …4739, you bastard.

Dennis: See, all you need to do is be specific. We have a lot of anomalies after all.

Dean: Just because you're my senior doesn't mean…

01:36: Dr. Harle chuckles, handing Researcher Harle a document from off-camera. Researcher Harle can be heard scowling as he takes the document as 6369-A-D1 is seen in the air, having jumped off the camera. Researcher Harle looks to the side & sticks his hand out to grab it. 131-B faces Researcher Harle, emitting constant distressed babbling.

Dean: Look at you! Cute little thing, huh. How do you rats even manage to find stuff? You anomalously good at that, too, or are rats just suited for that?

Dennis: Alright Dean, let them do their job now. You still have plenty of work to catch up on before we have orientation.

01:49: SCP-6369 rings, to the surprise of Researcher Harle & Dr. Harle. Researcher Harle answers it on speaker.

SCP-6369: THANK VERY MUCH ITEM HAS FOUND PLEASE SUBMIT PAYMENT FOR GOOD CLEAN RATS

01:56: 6369-A-D2 & 6369-A-D3 scurry over to Researcher Harle's chair, carrying over two halves of a novelty eraser in the form of a dancing frog. Researcher Harle's eyes go wide.

Dean: Oh fuck, it broke!? Fuck! How?

Dennis: Dean… cute eraser.

02:11: Researcher Harle stammers, looking between the 6369-A instances, 131-A & 131-B, & Dr. Harle. 131-B ceases babbling. After a few seconds, he slowly puts down 6369-A-D1 onto the floor & picks up the halves of the eraser. He then proceeds to grab $5 out of his pocket, throwing it on the floor.

Dean: W-Whatever. Dumb rats.

Video Transcript Project 6369-131-M:

Personnel: Dr. Ali Mustafa Kamelov

Site: 437

SCP-6369-A Instances: One Dalmatian rat, SCP-6369-A-X8, Neato Botvac D7.

00:00: SCP-6369-A-X8 & SCP-131 open the slightly-ajar door to Dr. Ali Mustafa Kamelov's office & head inside. Almost immediately, heavy amounts of smoke from burning cigarettes are visibly present within the room. 6369-A-X8 covers its nose as the vacuum continues forward. 131-A makes a distressed noise. 131-B mutters incomprehensibly in a low tone, to which 131-A responds with soft rumbling.

00:19: 6369-A-X8 & 131 arrive at Dr. Kamelov's desk. 6369-A-X8 hops off the vacuum & scampers to behind it, before immediately squealing & running back. 131-A goes to investigate.

00:31: Dr. Kamelov's body is found face-down on the floor, with no decomposition present.2

00:34: 131-A babbles erratically in distress. 131-B arrives and gently rubs its body against 131-A. 131-A appears to calm down somewhat. 131-B continues to rub 131-A, keeping its camera focused on 6369-A-X8 while it is within view.

00:49: 6369-A-X8 runs around the room to search, moving at a frantic pace, occasionally moving out of view from 131-B's camera as it navigates.

06:59: 6369-A-X8 climbs on top of a lamp table near the office door, where it briefly pauses in front of a disturbed tissue box. After moving it, it locates a rat hole, which it climbs into.

07:14: SCP-6369 rings.

07:41: 6369-A-X8 exits the rat hole, carrying a Cuban cigar out from it. After 70 seconds of struggle, it makes its way to the body of Dr. Kamelov, where it places the cigar next to his still-open mouth.

08:57: A container simply labeled "PREMIUN [sic] TILSIT" falls from the top of a bookshelf behind Dr. Kamelov's desk. 6369-A-X8 & 131 make a startled noise. 6369-A-X8 goes over to the container, opening it & sniffing the contents within.

09:15: 6369-A-X8 pushes the container towards 131, nodding its head & squealing.

Video Transcript Project 6369-131-O:

Personnel: Dr. Yossi Leiner

Site: Area-27

SCP-6369-A Instances: Four black Capped rats, SCP-6369-A-Y6 through Y9, Roborock S6.

00:00: SCP-6369-A & SCP-131 enter Dr. Yossi Leiner's office, the door already open. Dr. Leiner is seen sleeping on his desk.

00:04: 6369-A-Y7 scurries off the vacuum & runs towards a sleep mask with a thumbs-up symbol printed on it, barely poking out from underneath Dr. Leiner's desk.

00:18: SCP-6369 rings. Dr. Leiner does not wake up despite 6369 being located directly next to his left ear.

00:19: 6369-A-Y7 & 6369-A-Y8 carry the mask onto Dr. Leiner's desk by navigating atop multiple packed boxes and stacked books.

00:53: 6369-A-Y7 & 6369-A-Y8 gently drape the sleep mask over Dr. Leiner's eyes without disturbing him from his sleep.

01:11: 6369-A-Y6 & 6369-A-Y9 attempt to drag a large bucket of carrots over to the door. 131-B goes to assist them.

Video Transcript Project 6369-131-X:

Personnel: Director Calvin Bold

Site: Area-137

SCP-6369-A Instances: Two Patchwork hairless rats, SCP-6369-A-BB1 & BB2, Xiaomi Mi Robot Vacuum.

00:07: SCP-6369-A "knock" on the door with the vacuum several times to no response. SCP-131-B makes a quiet low-pitch murmuring sound as it looks back between 6369-A & 131-A.

Calvin Bold: Listen, it isn't an imminent threat as of now, but it would be within a couple of weeks, at best. …And? …Uh huh… …What do you mean the Ethics Committee hasn't reviewed it yet? It should be labeled Top Priority. I sent it in a month ago. Wait, can you give me a bit? Someone's knocking on my door. No, it'll just be fifteen seconds tops to let them in. Thank you.

00:29: The door swings opens within seconds. Director Calvin Bold looks down at 6369-A & 131, appearing agitated. 131-A backs up, moving behind 131-B.

Calvin: Oh, thank goodness. I'm so, so happy you're here. It's a special fountain pen with my initials on it. If you can, please be quick.

00:36: 6369-A & 131 exchange looks with each other before entering the room, to the nervousness of Director Bold. Director Bold closes the door & hurries back to his desk, picking up the phone. 6369-A navigate the office while 131-A follows. 131-B continues to film Director Bold.

Calvin: Sorry about that. Can I at least know why the Ethics Committee has been putting it off? It's, well, you know. A lot of resources we're spending on this skip. And I'm not saying the Veil will be immediately disintegrated if it breaches containment, but… Well…

00:55: 6369-A-BB1 squeaks, drawing the attention of 6369-A-BB2. 6369-A-BB1 moves the vacuum in the direction of a desk with a decorative vase on top of it. Director Bold's portrait hangs behind it.

Calvin: Is there anyone I can speak to? Anyone? You can keep me on hold all night if you need to, but I would really love to speak to anyone on the Committee about this. Please?

01:19: 6369-A-BB2 hops off of the vacuum & runs towards a fountain pen resting behind the desk's back right leg. It struggles with freeing it. After a few seconds, 6369-A-BB1 turns the vacuum off to follow 6369-A-BB2. They both attempt to free the pen.

Calvin: How about Jeremiah then. …What? But isn't his vacation supposed to be in three weeks? Surely there's a mistake.

01:33: 6369-A-BB1 positions itself against the back wall. 6369-A-BB2 climbs on top of 6369-A-BB1, proceeding to jump onto the pen. The force frees it from behind the leg.

01:41: SCP-6369 rings.

Calvin: Fu — no, no, it's nothing. It's SCP-6369. I had lost my lucky pen a few days ago, so I —

01:49: Alarms sound. Everyone in the room looks up at the flashing lights.

modulum.aic: Attention, Area-137 personnel. A containment breach is underway. This Site is under lockdown. Please follow standard Containment Breach Procedures as promptly as possible. This is not a drill. Attention, Area-137 personnel…

Calvin: Oh God… oh no… Hey, Harold, I'll get back to you after this breach. Fuck.

02:19: Director Bold hangs up the phone, his breathing labored as he secures his office. 131-A makes high-pitched distressed noises. 131-B attempts to calm it down by murmuring to it, though the camera visibly shakes.

Calvin: Why is modulum.aic the one to make this announcement as well… goddammit. Is it ████? Fuck. Fuck me. I'm sorry I dragged you four into this. Just, take cover as best as you can, alright? I'll get the pen after this blows over, I-I have a few different types of cheeses to —

02:40: A loud bang is heard on Director Bold's door.

Calvin: No, no, no, no, no no no no no… God… I-I think 131 can fit underneath the couch back there, so you just —

02:50: As 131-A, 131-B, & 6369-A move towards the couch, the door is heard broken through.

Calvin: Fuck! Not again! Uh, um, fuck, "As the wind cries so does the rain, as the sun rises so do the stars, when the sky shines thecloudswillpartandiftheblackmoonhowlsthen" —

03:11: Screaming can be heard. The camera affixed onto 131-B is met with sudden force as it flies off of 131-B & into the wall. The last two seconds before the feed dies shows 131-B moving under the couch with 6369-A & 131-A.

03:16: Static for five seconds.

How much usable footage do we actually have from this? ~ Department Head Alexsander Leigh

We have enough to put together a decent representation of 6369. I'm positive that I can make something that Light will enjoy and be happy to upload to SCiPnet. That said, there's certainly going to be a lot left on the cutting room floor… ~ Lead Editor Kōnane Kalena

That's fine. As long as we can make it work. We should probably have Diana train the Eye Pods in proper filming next time we need them. ~ Alexsander Leigh

I would be more worried about putting them in situations they find stressful. ~ Kōnane Kalena

There was just no way to know for some of these people. I'm going to bill Director Bold for that decommissioned camera. Next time, we'll need to screen the personnel who volunteer to be filmed. ~ Alexsander Leigh

Hard agree. ~ Kōnane Kalena

Footnotes

1. No relation.

2. Analysis of the body from the footage, later confirmed via autopsy, suggests Dr. Kamelov died 12 years prior to recording. How Dr. Kamelov was able to place a call with SCP-6369, & how the Foundation was unaware of his death for 12 years, is under investigation.