Diary of an Adolescent Orange Blob - SCP Foundation

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July 1 2023

Hi! I don’t know exactly who is going to read this, but someone probably will someday. I hope they’re my friend! Welcome to my diary, friend! I’ve been learning to write for a while, so I asked the scientists if I could have a diary to practice with, and they gave me one.

My name is Nine-Nine-Nine. My favorite color is bright yellow. Really bright, like from a hilighter. My favorite food is chocolate. My favorite game is tickle fighting, which I’m really good at. Whenever I tickle fight with someone, it makes them happy. Like, really happy. Happyer than tickle fighting normally makes people. I live at Site-19 with all my friends from the SCP Foundation. I’ve lived here my whole life, ever since I was born. That was… that part isn’t a happy story, but the important thing is that I’m here now, and I always have lots of fun.

I made a new friend today. Her name is Agent Sonders Saunders. She hasn’t worked at the SCP Foundation very long, and she’s not used to a lot of the things that happen here. Most people aren’t allowed to know about magic, monsters, gods and things like that, and it can take them a while to get used to those things being real. Sometimes I wish people were allowed to know more. There are a lot of people I can’t be friends with because they’re not allowed to know about me, and some of them could really use my help.

Agent Saunders had already heard of me and was excited to meet me as soon as she was on break. As soon as I realized a new friend had come to my pen, I went to work. I jumped right on her, pinned her to the floor and started tickling. She was laughing like crazy right away! She loved it so much! I love how easy it is to make humans happy!

At least, it’s really easy for me to make humans happy. I guess that’s more of a thing about me than a thing about humans. Humans have a lot of sad things to deal with, and I can’t always help as much as I wish I could, but I do what I can, and I work very hard to grow up big and strong, because one day it’s going to be my job to make absolutely everyone happy.

I think that’s everything I have to say for now. I’m going to go play with someone. See you tomorrow!

July 2 2023

I got to play with my mom today. I always love it when she comes in to visit. She’s one of my best friends. She lives with her family, but the Foundation lets her come see me sometimes. Today, we played tag in the exersize yard. Tag is kind of a hard game for me. I don’t exactly have hands, so it can be hard to decide what counts as me tagging someone. Does any touch count or do I have to make a soodopod? Either way, we had fun. Eventually it got late and she had to go back home. She didn’t want to leave, but I was able to cheer her up by running up to her and giving her a big hug.

I love my mom. She’s one of my best friends. I’m so glad they let me keep seeing her after she went home.

July 3 2023

They want me to see Big Bro again.

I heard the scientists talking about it while they were near my pen. A lot of them forget how good my hearing is, so sometimes I hear things they don’t want me to.

I should be happy. I’ve wanted to see Big Bro again for years. Just a few years ago I would have been really excited to play with him again, but I’ve learned a lot since then. I had fun playing with him last time, but it also got a lot of people hurt. The scientists say I’m stronger than I was back then. Maybe they’re right. Maybe no one will get hurt and I can help him this time. I hope that’s how it goes.

July 4 2023

I got mad at Dr. Bradly today. He tried to feed me Necco Wafers again. I used to love it when he did that. That’s what he said to me. “But Nine-Nine-Nine, you used to love Necco Wafers.”

That’s true. I did, because I didn’t used to know what gelatin is. Now that I know that there’s ground up bits of animal in Necco Wafers, I can’t eat them anymore no matter how yummy they are.

People are always mad when I refuse candy they offer me. I wish I didn’t have to hurt their feelings, but I don’t have a choice! It’s not like I was happy when I found out I couldn’t eat my favorite food anymore!

I know people are just trying to make me happy, but I wish they wouldn’t forget about this so much. There’s even a line about it in my contanement proseedures now. “All food given to SCP-999 must be fully vegan.” Is that really so hard?

July 5 2023

It’s been decided. I’m going to see Big Bro again tomorrow.

I’m nervous. I’m worried I’ll get people hurt again like I did last time. Big Bro is dangerous, and maybe playing with him is a bad idea.

I should try to think positively about this. Maybe this will go really well. Maybe I’ll have lots of fun and make him so happy that he never wants to hurt anyone again. Maybe.

But maybe not.

July 6 2023

I saw Big Bro.

Because of what happened last time, they were a lot more careful about how they brought us together. First, they had me go into a room through a tiny slot that only a blob like me could fit through, then they opened his acid vat and the room around it so he could get to me.

Big Bro was not happy to see me. He charged right at me and tried to bite me. I rolled away, but he was able to pen me in the corner of the room, at which point he jumped on me and started doing that horrible version of tickle fighting he does where he uses his claws and teeth to scratch you up and hurt you. It didn’t hurt me, which made him madder. That was the oppositte of what I wanted. I needed to make him happy.

I stood up as high as I could, and, in the brightest, most cheerful voice I could make, shouted a great big “Hello!” I’m not sure how good of a job I did. Talking is still kinda hard for me. I don’t really have a mouth, so I have to reshape part of myself to make one. It’s kind of hard, and a lot of humans say it looks creepy. I doubt Big Bro had that problem. He just acted like I hadn’t said anything at all.

Next I tried tickling him. I wrapped myself all the way around him to tickle him from all sides. He’d just come out of his acid bath. There was still acid on him, and touching it hurt. It must be so horrible to be trapped in there all the time. I got a bit of laughter out of him, but not much. Not like I got last time.

Evensh Eventually he got tired of fighting me. He stopped trying to hurt me and just tried to force me off him. He was able to push me away, and he ran into the corner and growled. I followed him, but he was able to keep me from wrapping back around him. After a few minutes I gave up. We just sat in opposite corners for a while. He stared at me, grumbling about how “disgusting” I am. I decided to try talking to him again. “Why do you hate everything?” I asked.

He didn’t say anything surprising. “I’m Big Bro and I hate everything because it’s gross and wrong and disgusting. Everything is disgusting. That’s my favorite word. Disgusting disgusting disgusting. You’re disgusting. Humans are disgusting. The Foundation is disgusting, and they always try to kill me and keep me trapped in a pool of acid because it’s the only way to stop me from eating people.”

I guess I can understand that last part. I wouldn’t like it if the scientists tried to kill me or trapped me in acid. “I’m sorry,” I told him. “That must be hard.”

He laughed.

“I mean it. I’m sorry you have to go through all of that.”

He laughed some more.

“What’s so funny?”

He wouldn’t answer. I tried to talk to him a few more times, but he didn’t say anything else. Eventually the scientists decided the test was over, and a bunch of agents came in to force him back into his pit of acid. They had asked me to help. I’m pretty strong, and my help would have made things safer. I didn’t help, though. I couldn’t help them force someone into a pool of acid, even if it was Big Bro. I just sat on the other side of the room, ready to rush in if he started attacking people.

He did, right away. He started thrashing and roaring, scratching everyone around him. All the agents were wearing armor, but he was able to sink his claws deep enough to pierce the armor on Agent Saunders. He dragged his claws across her stomick stomach. Blood oozed out of the slashes and dripped onto the floor.

I rushed over to pull Agent Saunders away from him. After I laid her on the other side of the room, I went back and helped pin Big Bro to the ground so the guards could restrain him. Eventually, they had a hold on him, and I backed away while they forced him back into the tank. He screamed. I hated hearing him scream. I wished I had ears so I could put my fingers in them.

Other people would be mad at Big Bro. He’d just hurt one of my friends. Some of the tougher agents would say that means he deserved to be hurt back, but I’ve never been able to understand that idea. I can get a bit mad at people who try to feed me animals or hurt my friends, but I’ve never really wanted to hurt someone. Not like Big Bro does. Not like humans sometimes do. The only person I’m really mad at is myself. Agent Saunders got hurt because I couldn’t fix Big Bro.

Why can’t I fix him?

July 7 2023

It’s a new day. It’s a bright, shining, brand new day, and I’m not going to let what happened yesterday keep me from being happy. Besides, it could have been a lot worse. Agent Saunders had to get stitches, but she’s going to be better soon.

I made sure to spend time with my best friends today. They still let me wander around the building during the day. I’m a lot bigger than I used to be, so it’s getting hard for me to move around the halls, but I manage. I really wanted to cheer myself up today, so I went to see Dr. Shaw. He always tells such funny jokes. Here was my favorite:

“Why does the Foundation always redact everything?”

“Because they’ve already dacted it!”

I also spent some time with the D-Class. They’re usually pretty sad, but that means I can always make them a whole lot happyer! I also got to see Dr. Bradly’s son Matt again. Matt’s really nice, but he has a hard time feeling happy. He takes pills to help, but they can only do so much. Because his dad is one of the scientists in charge of me, he’s able to take Matt to see me. I’m always able to brighten up his day a whole lot, and hopefully if he spends enough time with me, he’ll stop having trouble feeling happy on his own.

I didn’t used to know how special it was that I can help people like Matt. It’s one of my favorite things about myself. Just by having fun with someone, I can make their life better forever. I just wish I could help everyone like Matt. I know there are a lot more who can’t see me because their dads aren’t big important scientists at the SCP Foundation. Thinking about all of those people makes me sad.

Which is why I’m going to stop thinking about it. Today is a day for happy thoughts. What other happy thoughts can I think right now? Oh, I played with Josie today! She always acts so cute and funny around me. One of my anomoolus anomiluss weird things is that everyone who smells me smells whatever would make them the happiest, which means for Josie, I smell like catnip. It’s amazing! She spent so much time rolling around on top of me!

July 12 2023

They’re still talking about whether I should see Big Bro again. I guess what happened to Agent Soaunders wasn’t bad enough. Dr. Bradly asked me if I thought I could do better if I saw him again.

I told him I don’t know. I don’t know if I can make Big Bro happy. I wish I could be friends with him, and that they didn’t have to keep trapping him in that acid, but I can usually make friends with people just by tickle fighting with them and I don’t really know what to do with someone who still won’t be friends with me after I tickle fight them.

I don’t think Dr. Bradly liked that answer. I don’t like it either. I wish I could help Big Bro, but I just don’t understand how anyone could think the way he does, so I have no idea how to bring him out of it.

July 16 2023

There was a big raid on a group of my dad’s followers today. The Foundation was able to save a lot of people they’d kidnapped, and they brought those people to me so I could cheer them up before their memorys memorees were erased. It makes me sad to think they won’t remember being my friends.

They also had me play with some of dad’s followers. They call themselves dad’s “children,” so maybe I should call them my ‘adopted siblings.’

Of all the things someone could wish they had in common with me.

I think the Foundation hopes I can turn my adopted siblings nice, just like they want me to do with Big Bro. I did my best. It was easy to make my adopted siblings happy with some tickle fighting. Hopefully I’ll be able to see them more, and I can help make them happyer in the long run.

Maybe I shouldn’t give up on Big Bro until I’ve seen him a lot. I just wish seeing him wasn’t so dangerous. Most humans would say he doesn’t deserve to be fixed. I never used to understand that idea. I’ve always wanted to make people happy even if they’ve done awful things.

Until today.

Today I felt something I’ve never felt before. When one of my adopted siblings came into my pen, I said, in the same cheery voice I’d used for all of them. “Hello! My name is Nine-Nine-Nine! What’s yours?”

It was Robert Montock.

The scientists don’t know that I know who that is. I’m not supposed to know what was happening to my mom back when they were still trying to stop her from giving birth to me. I do though. Like I said, people forget how good my hearing is. I don’t know exactly what Robert Montock did to my mom back when she was an SCP, but I know it was really really bad, and seeing him there, knowing how badly he had hurt one of my best friends, I felt something I’ve never felt before.

I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to crawl on top of him and crush him into paste. I wanted to rip him apart with a hundred soodopods while screaming that I knew what he did. I stood there, staring at him, thinking about it. I think Robert Montock realized that I recognized his name, because he smiled at me. It was not a good smile. The awful joy smeared across his face made me want to crawl inside his mouth and push on his insides until he split open.

“It’s nice to meet you!” I said in the same cheery voice I’d have used if I had no idea who he was. His smirk went away. After that, I jumped on him, and tickle fought with him just like I would with anyone else. I made him happy. Just thinking about the fact that I made him happy brings the feeling back, but I have to push it down.

I can’t believe I used to think anger was the way I feel when Dr. Bradly tries to feed me gelatin. This new feeling, the one I felt while I was with Robert Montock, hurt. It hurt worse than anything that’s ever happened to me. Does Big Bro really feel this way all the time?

I have to see Big Bro again. I have to save him from this. I can’t let anyone be stuck feeling like this.

July 20 2023

I went to see Big Bro again today. They used the same trick to get us into the room together, and, as soon as Big Bro came inside, he charged toward me. I was tempted to just let him attack me until he’d gotten it out of his system, but I didn’t want to wait for that. So, before he could place his jaws around me, I spoke.

“I understand, now,” I said, quietly enough that the scientists wouldn’t hear me.

“Understand what?” he growled.

It took me a minute to find the right word. “Hate,” I said. “I felt it.”

“For who?”

“Someone who hurt a friend of mine.”

He huffed. “Who?”

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I know how you feel. I know how much it hurts. I’m so sorry you always have to feel that way. I want to help you feel happy instead.”

He laughed. Different from the reluctant laugh he does when I win a tickle fight with him. This was deeper.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“The idea that you could understand,” he said. “It has nothing to do with anger.”

“What? You’re angry all the time!”

“But that has nothing to do with the bone-deep knowledge that everything you see is intolerably wrong. That, you could never understand.”

“Then help me understand. Help me understand so I can help you.”

“You can’t.”

“How do you know if you won’t try?”

“I can smell it on you.” Then he started ranting. He used his favorite word a lot.

When he was done, he just went silent. I tried to get him to talk more, both by asking more questions and by tickling him, but he wouldn’t say anything. Eventually, the scientists ended the test. It was a struggle to get him back into his acid vat, but we were lucky this time, and no one got hurt. Except Big Bro. He still screamed like he always does.

July 21 2023

Big Bro is the first person I’ve not been able to help. People who see me don’t always do what the Foundation wants them to, but I’ve always been able to make them happy. Not Big Bro. I can make him laugh, but I don’t feel like I’m changing him.

I have to try again. I can’t let him keep hurting. There has to be something I can do to save him.

July 24 2023

Agent Saunders came back to work today. Her stitches are out, and she’s had a nice long rest. She came to the site early so she could see me. She was well enough that she was able to tickle fight with me, and unlike most humans, she tried to tickle me back. I love it when they do that! I formed a mouth just so I could laugh.

July 27 2023

We tried again with Big Bro today. I told them that I had another idea for how to fix him.

Once Big Bro was in the room with me, he just sat in the opposite corner and didn’t say anything. I approached him. He growled. I kept crawling until I was in whispering range, and I said “I want to make a deal.”

He stared at me. There was hate in his eyes, but no more than usual.

“Listen, I don’t want to control your mind or force you to be happy. I’m not going to make you tickle fight with me. I just want to help you.”

He huffed.

“The scientists would do anything if I told them I was fixing you. They’d let me see you every week, or every day, and while I’m seeing you, you would get a break from the acid.” There was a small movement in his left eye. “Here’s my deal,” I said. “I’ll tell them that I’m making lots of progress with you, that I’m performing a super-special technique to fix you and that it’s working really well. I’ll tell them that for it to keep working, they have to let me see you however often you want. Every week, every day, ten times a day, whatever. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. We don’t have to do anything. We can just sit there if you want. All you have to do is not hurt anyone while they move you in and out of this room. Deal?”

Big Bro smiled. It wasn’t a good smile, but I thought it might be the best one Big Bro could make. “That sounds like a great idea,” he said.

My heart soared. I could’ve flown around the room. I’d done it. I’d gotten him to respond to my kindness. “How often?” I asked. “Every week? Every day?” I was happy to let him set the pace of things. The important thing was that if I was seeing him regularly, I’d have lots of time to work on him. I wasn’t sure exactly what I’d do, but I would have time to figure it out.

“Every day,” Big Bro said.

“Awesome! What do you want to do?”

He closed his eyes. “Just let me sleep.”

That’s exactly what I did. I waited in the opposite corner while he closed his eyes and laid perfectly still for more than an hour. The scientists asked me a few times if they should end the test, but I told them I was doing something and that I thought I was making progress. Eventually, Big Bro finished his nap. His eyes opened, and the next time the scientists asked if we should end the test, he told me to tell them yes.

That’s what I did. I backed away from him, and the team of guards, including Agent Saunders, came in to put him back in his tank. As they approached, Big Bro looked right at me, and smiled just like he had when he’d first accepted my deal. Looking at it, I realized something was wrong, but before I could do anything, he’d already pounced onto Agent Saunders and started digging his claws into her.

I rushed over and tried to force him off her while the other agents tried to pull her free, but his grip on her was like nothing I’d ever felt. He just kept tearing and tearing, shattering her helmet and dragging his claws across her face. The whole time, he didn’t look at her. He kept his gaze right on me, and he kept smiling.

Eventually, me and the other agents were able to force him off Agent Saunders and pin him to the floor. Once he seemed to be under control, I wanted to back off and let them be the ones to force him back into the acid, but I couldn’t. I had to help. If I didn’t, he might get free, and someone else might get hurt. So I helped them. I helped them push him, screaming, back into the acid.

Why does he have to be like this? I was trying to help him!

July 28 2023

Agent Saunders didn’t make it.

I tried to go into the meddickol medical room to see her, but I couldn’t. I’m too big and clumsy and I could have hurt her by accident, or damaged some of the expensive machines. I had to just sit in my pen and wait for Dr. Bradly to tell me she was getting worse and worse.

This happened because of me. Because I told them to let me see Big Bro again. Because I fell for his trick. Because I felt sorry for him.

I can’t make the same mistake again. I have to give up on him. I have to accept that I can’t save him right now, that it may be a long time before I can.

I don’t want to, though. I don’t want to give up on him. It’s so hard to just leave someone who I know is hurting.

People who know who my dad is are always confused about how I could be his son. How could half of me come from someone so evil? The answer is obvious. Everyone knows that red is one of the colors you mix to make orange.

That was a joke. Mostly. I think that really is why I’m orange, but that’s not the main thing I have in common with Dad.

Dad is very, very evil. He hates everything and everyone. When he was young, he looked at the entire yooniverse universe and decided it would be better if nothing existed at all. He wants revenge on the world and everything in it for making him exist.

Only, he doesn’t have to exist. People can make themselves stop existing. Humans do it sometimes if they’re sad enough, and I’m not able to help them. But Dad doesn’t. He wants to destroy everything. Absolutely everything, no matter how long he has to suffer in order to do it.

I think that’s where the speck of good in him is hiding. If he just wanted to stop his own suffering, he could. Instead, he wants to end all of the pain in the world by getting rid of everyone who can suffer, because even though he causes a lot of that pain, some part of him can’t stand to let it continue. No matter how much he has to hurt, he won’t end things until he knows no one else will hurt either.

I’m the same way. I can’t stand to see people in pain. I wish I could help everyone. I want to help everyone. Someday, it will be my job to help everyone. Even Big Bro. Even Dad. For now, though, I can’t. I can’t help him, and I have to give up trying before more people get hurt.

I’m sorry, Agent Saunders. You were a good friend.

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