Recollections of a Gentleman's Gentleman - SCP Foundation

Interview Log 662-37

Interviewer: Dr. S. Samesh

Interviewed: SCP-662-1 ("Mr. Deeds")

Foreword: During a review of objects found among the effects of SCP-1867, a journal was found in which SCP-1867 made several references to employing an individual named "Deeds" as a valet. In light of SCP-1867's apparent knowledge of and interactions with several known SCP objects, an interview was conducted to determine whether SCP-662-1 was the same individual referred to by SCP-1867, and what knowledge, if any, it had of that individual and the veracity of its claims.

<Begin Log, ██/██/20██, 12:53 PM>

Dr. Samesh enters the interview room, seats himself at the table, and rings SCP-662. After a period of 38 seconds, the door to the interview room opens and Mr. Deeds enters.

Mr. Deeds: Good afternoon, Dr. Samesh. How may I be of service?

Dr. Samesh: Please have a seat, Mr. Deeds. I would like to ask you some questions.

Mr. Deeds: Very well, sir.

Mr. Deeds seats himself.

Dr. Samesh: Have you at any time in your recollection been in the service of a man named Theodore Thomas Blackwood?

Mr. Deeds: Yes, sir, I was employed by Mr. Blackwood for a considerable period of time.

Dr. Samesh: Good. We would like to ascertain certain facts relating to Mr. Blackwood.

Mr. Deeds: Forgive me, sir, but as a gentleman's gentleman I am obligated not to discuss the private lives of my past employers.

Dr. Samesh: I do not intend to pry, Mr. Deeds. An individual claiming to be Mr. Blackwood is currently in our custody and for his own good we need to determine the veracity of his claims.

Mr. Deeds: Indeed, sir? That seems most unlikely. I had heard that Mr. Blackwood perished during the unpleasantness in Patagonia in 1893.

Dr. Samesh: I see. When were you first hired by Mr. Blackwood?

Mr. Deeds: The twenty-eighth of June, 1837, sir.

Dr. Samesh: And for how long were you employed by him?

Mr. Deeds: Intermittently for the following sixty years or so, sir.

Dr. Samesh: Intermittently?

Mr. Deeds: Mr. Blackwood was frequently out of the country and had no need for a gentleman's gentleman. As the household staff was easily capable of handling the affairs of his estate, I was temporarily engaged by other individuals during his absence.

Dr. Samesh: When did you leave his employment for the last time?

Mr. Deeds: I do not recall the exact date, sir, but I believe it was shortly after the turn of the century.

Dr. Samesh: Mr. Deeds, are you aware you previously told me that Mr. Blackwood died in 1893?

Mr. Deeds: Yes, sir.

Dr. Samesh: How is it you continued to work for him until after the turn of the century?

Mr. Deeds is momentarily silent.

Mr. Deeds: I am not certain, sir.

Dr. Samesh: I see. What were your primary duties as Mr. Blackwood's valet?

Mr. Deeds: I was principally responsible for the upkeep of Mr. Blackwood's estates and the management of the household staff. I additionally managed his finances and appointments, received and forwarded his mail while he was away, did his shopping, and handled the acquisition and maintenance of his armaments and expeditioneering equipment.

Dr. Samesh: Did you possess your current abilities at the time Mr. Blackwood employed you?

Mr. Deeds: I do not recall, sir.

Dr. Samesh: How old was Mr. Blackwood when you first met him?

Mr. Deeds: As a gentleman, sir, I did not ask.

Dr. Samesh: Very well. How old did you believe him to be?

Mr. Deeds: Based on his physical appearance, I would have judged him to be a man of no more than forty.

Dr. Samesh: And when you last saw him?

Mr. Deeds: No more than forty, sir.

Dr. Samesh: Are you saying he did not age in sixty years?

Mr. Deeds: I… I cannot say, sir.

Dr. Samesh: Did Mr. Blackwood ever discuss his family or his childhood with you?

Mr. Deeds: I do not recall him ever mentioning family. I recall his stating that he lived in the West Country as a child and attended school at Eton, that he had received a sizable inheritance, and that his title was a hereditary one.

Dr. Samesh: What was that title?

Mr. Deeds: I believe he was a viscount, sir, but I do not recall of what locale.

Dr. Samesh: Was he ever married?

Mr. Deeds: I do not recall ever seeing him in the company of a woman, sir.

Dr. Samesh: You mentioned armaments earlier. What sort of armaments were those?

Mr. Deeds: Mainly pistols and rifles, sir. He also possessed several atomic rifles and destabilizing muskets manufactured by Mr. Moth's of Manchester. I handled the purchase of those myself; they were fine weapons indeed. I recall that he returned from one expedition with an electric rifle that he found most fascinating. He tested it on me once and it was most effective.

Dr. Samesh: Mr. Blackwood tested his weapons on you?

Mr. Deeds: I expect the agency would have been most upset had they learned of it, sir, but I was only doing as requested. In any event, as you can see, I suffered no lasting harm.

Dr. Samesh: Did Mr. Blackwood ever talk to you about his voyages?

Mr. Deeds: Quite often, sir. He would often revise his journals in his study and ask me for opinions of his word choice. I enjoyed hearing his stories very much.

Dr. Samesh: I would like you to read one of the journals we acquired recently, Mr. Deeds.

Mr. Deeds: Very well, sir.

Dr. Samesh hands Mr. Deeds a copy of the excerpts from Journal #23 relating to the events of May-June 1883. Mr. Deeds spends the following twelve minutes reading silently.

Mr. Deeds: Finished, sir.

Dr. Samesh: To the best of your knowledge, are the events described in this journal true?

Mr. Deeds: I was not present for the events in France, sir, but the account of the events in London is completely true to the best of my recollection.

Dr. Samesh: Do you have any secondhand knowledge of the events in France?

Mr. Deeds: The description in this journal conforms to what Mr. Blackwood told me upon his return, sir. I recall that there was a great deal of speculation about the nature of the disaster in the newspapers at the time. The Telegraph was certain that the world itself was coming to an end.

Dr. Samesh: Are you certain, Mr. Deeds?

Mr. Deeds: Completely, sir.

Dr. Samesh: Mr. Deeds, we have been unable to locate any newspaper reports from 1883, or French government documents of any sort, referring to a monster or to a nuclear explosion. Diaries and secondhand accounts relating to the life of Theodore Roosevelt indicate that he was living in New York the entirety of 1883 and did not leave the US during that time. Testing has determined that there is no significant background radiation in Provence and we have found no evidence that any pre-1883 buildings in Avignon or the surrounding areas were ever damaged by an explosion, nor are there any indications that an unusually large number of people died in that year. We can locate no evidence to prove that any of this is true.

Mr. Deeds: I don't suppose that you would, sir.

Dr. Samesh: Why is that, Mr. Deeds?

Mr. Deeds winces.

Mr. Deeds: I cannot say, sir.

Dr. Samesh: Very well, we are almost done. One more question; at any time in any of your interactions with Mr. Blackwood, was he, or did he appear to be, a sea slug?

Mr. Deeds: I beg your pardon, sir?

Dr. Samesh: A variable neon slug, Mr. Deeds. Nembrotha kubaryana. At any point in the time you knew him, was he one?

Mr. Deeds: No, sir.

Dr. Samesh: Thank you, Mr. Deeds. That will be all.

Mr. Deeds: Thank you, sir.

Mr. Deeds stands up and walks to the door. Before leaving the room, he turns around.

Mr. Deeds: Actually, sir…

Dr. Samesh: Yes, Mr. Deeds?

Mr. Deeds: I do not know if it is relevant, but your question reminds me of a most unusual dream I had many years ago.

Dr. Samesh: What was that?

Mr. Deeds: Mr. Blackwood had summoned me to his study. When I arrived, there was a small slug sitting on his davenport. I heard him greet me and request a scotch and soda, and his voice seemed to emanate from the slug. I asked if he was in any way feeling distressed or unusual, and he asserted that nothing was amiss and he felt as healthy as he ever had. I… do not recall what happened after that.

Dr. Samesh: Thank you, Mr. Deeds.

<End Log, 1:17 PM>