Everyday Life With An Extraterrestrial Girl - SCP Foundation

My everyday life - or rather my life generally - could be described by people as "special".

If you had told me fifteen years ago that I would have to prick my finger every day to offer my blood to a mortal god, I hardly doubt that I would have took you like all these crazy, annoying, wannabe - I'm getting off topic - I had my doubts, in short. Admittedly, it's still sometimes weird to belong to the Ortothan Church. And to have corCo as my roommate.

"Ballabix, have you seen my scarf?“

Vax-corCo elegantly weaved her huge body through the relatively tiny flat. Ksavis, jokingly referred to by her as Ballabix - which was comparable to calling someone a "featherless chick" - leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen, a smile on his face.

"No, corCo. Have you looked under the bed?“

CorCo blinked at him briefly with her four eyes, then disappeared into the shared bedroom. Ksavis laughed to himself and continued to scrape the pan in which he was frying the tofu and vegetables. After barely three minutes, corCo's voice came from the room, "Found it."

"Great. I'm about done with breakfast, too."

"Is the flat really not too small for you, corCo?"

"No, I already told you. It's like a cosy den," corCo studied the spongy tofu before it disappeared between her jaws, "Mmm, delicious. A crust on the outside and soft on the inside. It reminds me of the Rjzzz from my planet."

Ksavis looked up. "What do riss, or whatever they're called, look like?"

A claw to her chin, the alien mused. "Like a cockchafer beetle, only three times as big. And they have eight limbs and…" she made a circular motion, "… thingies. Googly eyes, that's what I meant. And they're emerald green."

Ksavis laughed.

CorCo's head jerked towards the window, "Oh! What's that?"

Ksavis looked out the window. "I don't quite know what you mean."

"Something flew by!" corCo got all excited, "It was small and dark!"

Ksavis thought for a moment. "Was it that big?"

"Yes, as big as my hand!"

"Then it was probably a crow. They're birds… animals that can fly and have feathers like you."

CorCo tilted her head and her eyes became glossy as she continued to stare out the window to catch a glimpse of more of these creatures.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✧ ✧

Ksavis was cleaning the flat when the doorbell rang. He frowned.

The pastor of her Ortothan congregation in Sjhlfels am Rhein always announced her house calls, and hardly anyone else visited them.

After glancing through the peephole and attaching the door chain, he opened the door.

"Good afternoon?"

"Good afternoon, my dear sir! I am a merchant, may I talk with you for a moment?" asked a woman in a dark purple suit.

"We're not buying anything."

The smile on the woman's face did not disappear. "Not yet."

Ksavis lacked the nerve to wave the woman off, so he made moves to close the front door. He met resistance. Without breaking a drop of sweat, the saleswoman pushed the door open again and even as the door chain cocked, she disengaged it. Ignoring both the physics of her own hand and the lock. The shopkeeper slid inside and closed the door.

"You need not be afraid. I do not wish to spill blood. You can keep that for your sacred eighth."

"Fourth. And there are only seven," Ksavis corrected, caught off guard, "I told you…"

Still smiling, the merchant interrupted him by raising both hands, four fingers each extended, "Give me eight minutes. You won't regret it."

Ksavis took a deep breath. And exhaled again.

"Okay. What are you selling?"

"Many things. Best we sit down."

The saleswoman had made herself comfortable on the sofa. "Nice place you have. Nice and spacious. Perfect for a flat share with your friend."

"What do you mean?" the nervousness was audible in Ksavi's voice.

"Look: I am not an ordinary annoying saleswoman. I am a woman who offers magic. Albeit just as annoying."

The saleswoman placed a pendant made of a gold-green metal on the table. It reminded Ksavis of a cone-shaped snail shell with a closed eye on it.

"This, my dear," Ms Merchant explained, "is a talisman with a shapeshifter enchantment. Don't you want to go out in public with her? With this talisman, you can."

She raised the snail shell to Ksavis's eye level and tapped against it to emphasise what she had said. The eye opened briefly and looked around in panic before closing again, apparently reassured. Without reacting to what was happening, she placed it gently on the table.

As Ksavis went to reach for it, the saleswoman 'nailed' his hand to the table with the frighteningly long nail of her right index finger.

"Oh, it is not free, my lord."

"What do you want?" he stroked the spot on the back of his hand where a small red dot was faintly visible.

"Let me think," the woman looked around at length, whispering something to herself, "An identity for an identity, a secret for a secret."

She took out a piece of paper and a quill. "I request you abide by a small set of rules. All of them reasonable. Please sign here."

"What kind of rules?"

"Very simple things: 'The object must only be used by the person receiving the gift; The true identity of the person must not be revealed during its use; I am not liable for incorrect use in any way.' Standard phrases. Breaking the rules has its price, you understand."

She waved her pen impatiently.

"It was a pleasure trading with you." The representative took her hat and stowed the contract in her suit. At the front door she turned around: "Before I go: If the pendant deepens your relationship, I don't know what effect it will have."

"What … what do you mean?"

The woman intertwined her fingers. "Your friend will look like a human, feel like a human, smell - okay probably still smell like an extraterrestrial - but biologically she's not human. I didn't feel like thinking that far ahead."

Ksavis blushed. "Oh, I see."

"Good," with those words she jumped onto the balustrade and hopped straight down. An umbrella, which Ksavis was sure the saleswoman had not had before, broke the fall. Humming softly, the woman drifted away, leaving the surprised Ksavis behind.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Look how I turn out!"

CorCo turned on the spot to give Ksavis a good view of the dress as well as the temporary new body.

The pendant had transformed her alien anatomy into that of a human woman, although some of her features had remained. She was still huge, at just under 1.9 metres, and her skin tone still had its greyish-bluish complexion. Overall, she looked like a dark elf from a high fantasy tale. A very attractive dark elf, mind you. Apparently the pendant was trying to maintain her mass somewhere and somehow.

"I want to do something! Get out and… Just do something!"

She took Ksavi's hands in her new human ones and took a deep breath, "I'm incredibly excited."

"That describes it well. And I'm glad," he put his forehead to hers, as was customary in corCos culture.

CorCo had been sitting on the sofa for almost an hour and a half, very still.

Ksavis looked at her anxiously from the corridor. "What is it, corCo?"

His roommate did not answer immediately. "I'm scared …" she mumbled.

He sat down by her and took one of her hands and squeezed it. "Of what?"

"I've been in this flat for so long. It's all so new and strange to me."

The giantess put both arms around him and squeezed. He squirmed and struggled a little to get his mouth free. He looked up at her as best he could. "We can wait to go out. Let's not rush into anything."

"You think so?" she squealed as she gave her living comfort plushie a little more room to breathe, which, to the embarrassment of both of them, ended in Ksavis sitting on her lap like a toddler.

"Yes. How about we wait for you to get used to your body first," after a small pause he added, "We could watch that show our next door neighbours recommended. How does that sound?"

CorCo gave an approving purr.