Dr. Dan Goes to Washington - SCP Foundation

Dr. Dan Goes to Washington

UN General Assembly in New York City

Recorded on 27 September, 2021

Dr. Dan: Ladies and gentleman of the Assembly, Ambassadors, leaders of the world, and many millions of those at home watching. I have PhDs in theoretical physics, biochemistry, mechanical engineering, mathematics, and several others you don’t know the names of, so when I tell you that the news I have come here to share with you is landmark, I hope that you take me seriously.

My name is Dr. Dan Daniels. Not so long ago I couldn’t have told you my last name without killing you, it was so classified.

Silence on recording.

Site-01 – O5 Boardroom to be renamed

28 September, 2021

Varis laughed. “You opened with a dad joke?”

“I asked you to come with me!” Dan was trying his best not to yell at people who could kill him, so he kept this to a dull roar.

“Can you imagine Varis here in front of the UN General Assembly? Come on,” Clef sniggered.

“If you’d actually spent any time with me, you’d know that I’m actually very good with a crowd, ‘doctor’ Clef.”

“I could actually hear the air quotes in that.”

“Good.” Varis turned back to Dan. “So, did you recover quickly at least?”

“Nope,” Moose chuckled as she poured herself some coffee.

“In my defense, I had never spoken to the UN General Assembly before and was very nervous.”

UN General Assembly in New York City

Recorded on 27 September, 2021

Dr. Dan: Wow. Tough crowd. Look, in my experience you need to take the levity in life wherever you can find it. Alright, I’m floundering. Right. Let’s get into it.

Until very recently, I was employed in a senior research position at an organization called the SCP Foundation. Many of you world leaders will have come across this organization, but the vast majority of the ambassadors and public at large will probably never have heard of the Foundation.

Not to mince words, the Foundation represented a global conspiracy on a level most online forums could never imagine. Don’t tell Parawatch.

The Foundation’s motto was “Secure. Contain. Protect.” The mission statement of the Foundation was the research and containment of a class of entity and phenomena we lovingly called “anomalies.” An anomaly has a simple definition: something we could not explain through science. Even those sciences we have studied that we did not release to the world. Effectively, the Foundation kept track of and hid the strange things in the world from the public, for fear of panic and societal collapse.

Site-01 – O5 Boardroom to be renamed

28 September, 2021

“Jesus, Dan. Have you ever heard of priming the pump? Why start with the doom and gloom?” Moose asked.

“I thought some context would help set the stage for Vanguard. I didn’t want to go out there and be like ‘We’re Vanguard’ and have a hundred ambassadors look at me like I had something in my teeth.”

“We talked about what you were going to say,” Varis said.

“Yes, we did. But I was adlibbing, trying to get there organically.”

Everyone in the room sighed, as if on cue.

UN General Assembly in New York City

Recorded on 27 September, 2021

Dr. Dan: This global conspiracy was informally referred to as the Veil. And the vast majority of world governments were involved in some way or another, assisting in coverups or providing access or funding.

But I won’t mince words, the Foundation did not serve any one government or even a coalition of governments. It was an NGO larger than most international corporations. I tell you all this as background for the reason I’m here: The Foundation has dissolved. For reasons we won’t get into now, the organization is no more. We will prepare a packet of information concerning the reasoning behind the dissolution but suffice it to say that it would be too complicated to get into in this context.

The vast majority of its assets and personnel have joined together with several other groups – who have a vested interest in the anomalous world – to form a new organization. We’re calling that organization Vanguard.

In the coming weeks and months, Vanguard will start a wide-scale public relations campaign to educate the general public as to the existence of the anomalous. Vanguard is not interested in keeping the wonders of the world hidden any longer.

This will include outreach to many international research bodies and universities, sharing our data and strategies for surviving in a world where magic exists. Yes, I know, the term magic is particularly unscientific to most people. But I assure you, it does exist. Many wonderful and terrifying things do, some of them not far beyond your front doors.

We don’t tell you this to foment panic. We just think the world has a right to know. But – and you’ll be hearing this a lot in the coming weeks and months – we beg you for patience. The earliest files at the Foundation date back to long before World War I, there are thousands we can share, and we don’t want to dump them all on you at once.

But here are a few highlights: an invisible island that contains the majority of the Fae race which has been living beside humanity for thousands of years; objects that can rewrite the local physics of reality; evidence of Bigfoot – I know, it’s ridiculous to you, but it’s true; multiple contacts from other realities and other forms of life beyond our solar system; and an entity orbiting the sun that warns us of incoming danger by pointing her finger.

I realize a lot of what I’m saying strains credulity, but we can show you the documentation, and we will. That grand PR campaign starts tonight. This is the first step in what will probably take years.

And we’re aware that this will cause some elements of the governments and their citizens to panic, but a hundred years of hiding the truth is enough. We think, with our guidance and the help of many other individuals who have been living with the anomalous for a long time, that we can show you that these things are no scarier than any number of mundane dangers of living in this world.

When faced with the threat of nuclear catastrophe, the existence of Bigfoot isn’t really as shocking as it feels.

Site-01 – O5 Boardroom to be renamed

28 September, 2021

“Bigfoot! Holy shit, why would you start with SCP-1000? Even I know that had to get some chuckles,” Clef said.

“Because I wanted to present things that were basically within the imagination of the public that wouldn’t require as much explanation. A shocking amount of people in the United States and Canada already believed Bigfoot was a thing. We had never been very effective at their containment.”

“Did you at least tell them about normalization and what that would entail?” Varis asked.

“Yes! Of course, I did. Jesus.”

UN General Assembly in New York City

Recorded on 27 September, 2021

Dr. Dan: This process of education we are calling “normalization.” It is important to understand that we are not trying to force the anomalous onto anyone. Vanguard just wants everyone to be better informed. Our motto is Shelter, Normalize, Protect. We want the mundane world, the wider public, to accept the existence of these things, and we want to protect both humanity and the existence of these wonders.

This campaign will consist of outreach to universities, as I said before, but also direct public relations in the form of documentaries, information centers, classes, and anything else we can think of to help smooth over the transition.

We’re aware that there are some people and organizations which will oppose us in this. It’s very important to understand, this is not a threat. We are not declaring war, there is no hostile action. But we aren’t asking permission either.

Site-01 – O5 Boardroom to be renamed

28 September, 2021

“Nice,” Clef said.

“Thank you. Unless you’re being sarcastic, then you can go fu–”

“No, it’s a good point. We want to appear diplomatic but with a strong hand,” Varis said.

Clef and Moose both nodded.

UN General Assembly in New York City

Recorded on 27 September, 2021

Dr. Dan: In time, we believe the world will be a much better place for this knowledge. There are incredible advances in technology and other things that will improve the quality of life for millions, if not billions of people. However, there are also many anomalies that pose a real danger to the public.

We are not releasing anything dangerous. Keep in mind a lot of these things have been among our societies for a long time. The Foundation just did their best to keep it secret. We’re not satisfied with that. We want to make the world a safer place to live in, and to make that possible, you need information.

Before the end of this presentation, a packet of documents supporting many of the claims I have made will be made available, both to governments and the press. And like I said before, this is just the first step. But we know that many people will have questions and concerns I couldn’t possibly cover in a single presentation, which is why we will be opening information centers and establishing websites to allow for grassroots outreach as well.

Site-01 – O5 Boardroom to be renamed

28 September, 2021

“How many of these visitor centers are we thinking about opening?” Varis asked.

“At least twenty in the continental US, another twenty in Europe. We have limited access to Russia and China, but we’re working on that. At least one in Japan and one in Korea. Additionally, we have one ready to open in Cairo and one in Johannesburg,” Moose said.

“Are these converted Sites?”

“Some of them, yes. Those Sites that are less focused on detention of dangerous anomalies can be converted pretty easily. But there’ll still be a lot of construction, which we’ve already gotten started on. Those Sites can still be used in a research capacity, but obviously anything very dangerous will get moved.”

“I was thinking about calling them Lighthouses,” Alison Chao said as she entered the room. “It’s what I offhand called the one we are setting up in the Wanderers’ Library during that incident last week.”

“Lighthouses. I like that,” Varis said.

“What about the Sites we aren’t converting? For the really dangerous stuff we want to keep corralled, even if we are going to inform the world about it.” Clef was sitting with his feet up on the table as he spoke.

“What are you even doing here, Alto?” Varis asked. “You’re not on the Board.”

“I asked him to come in, his experience with containment is exemplary despite his overall demeanor,” Moose answered. Clef winked at Karcist Varis.

“Well, I was thinking we could call the facilities with a military and protection angle Watchtowers," Dan said. "The ones we don’t want the public at. Obviously, we would still want protection services and MTFs out of Lighthouses, but those sites focused on deployment; those will still have what are basically containment cells and storage for significantly dangerous objects and entities. We haven’t fully worked out what is being released and how we do it, but we are making progress.”

“Who all is on this Board, anyway?” Clef asked.

“Myself, Dan, Director Moose, Director McInnis, Director Varga, Director Light, Ms. Chao, Ms Harada of House Kurinuka, Papa Legba, Matt and Aklerep of the Maxwellist Collective, Thilo Zwist and O5-0 as our tie breaker,” Varis said.

“Why can’t I be on the Board?” Clef asked.

“Because you’re a joke, Alto. And we don’t want you dictating policy.”

“Didn’t want to be on it anyway.”

Dan cleared his throat. “As entertaining as it is to watch Clef get taken down a peg, I thought this was a debrief for the presentation to the UN?”

UN General Assembly in New York City

Recorded on 27 September, 2021

Dr. Dan: As agreed as a condition of our presentation here tonight, I’d like to open up the floor to the delegates’ questions.

Ambassador from the United States: I think I speak for all of us when I ask what sort of military presence this organization has? We’ve heard some disturbing reports over the years of a large paramilitary force in the hundreds of thousands.

Dr. Dan: Ambassador, I am sure that most of the people in this room do not think you are asking for them. But to be clear, Vanguard has a sizable security force, partially made up of military personnel in mobile task forces. We do not have a standing army. But the things we research and previously contained, they’re dangerous. Now, we don’t expect any nation to be completely fine with our taking action in their territory without at least informing you, but I will ask you to speak with your Commander in Chief and the Pentagon, because they’ve been privy to our activities for years and never had a problem with it.

If there was a reason for that, it was because the Foundation could handle things everyday police and military forces could not. That hasn't changed. Going forward we will be providing resources and information to your civilian and military forces to be better equipped for the strange, but really, we insist that we continue to be the first responders on a scene where possible. You’ll thank us.

Ambassador from the United States: No offense, Dr. Daniels, but you’re an academic. What do you know about military or police matters?

Dr. Dan: Well, for starters, you may also refer to me as Gunnery Sergeant Daniels, USMC, retired. But more pertinently: for the better part of two years, I have been the director of a Foundation department called the Emergent Threat Tactical Response Authority. I have been responsible for the initial analysis and response tactics to emergency anomalous situations where the lives of thousands were at stake. So, I know quite a bit, thank you. Let someone else talk.

Ambassador for People’s Republic of China: My government refuses to acknowledge your organization’s authority. We do not want you acting within the territories of China.

Dr. Dan: Then I guess we’ll just have to let out all the nasties we’ve been containing in your country for the past several decades, Ambassador. I’m sure you’ll deal with them sufficiently well.

Ambassador for the People’s Republic of China: Now wait a minute!

Dr. Dan: No, you wait a minute. Listen to me, all of you, I have barely begun to reveal some of the things out there that the Foundation has been taking care of for your people for the past century. We are eminently well equipped to handle it, now that Vanguard has stepped to the foreground. If any nation seriously wants our forces to vacate, then we will do so. But in that case, it won't be on us when the disasters start. For now, what I would suggest is no one make unilateral decisions, and we can try diplomacy and find a nice middle ground.

Ambassador for the People’s Republic of China: We expect a presentation and diplomats as soon as possible to discuss this matter further.

Dr. Dan: Fine. Next?

Ambassador for the Russian Federation: Dr. Daniels, could provide further details on some of the weapons technology your organization will be using to contain these threats?

Dr. Dan: I hope the cameras caught that, I just rolled my eyes at an ambassador. Okay, let’s get this out of the way now, we won’t be providing anomalous or advanced weaponry to any of the nations here. We are not in the arms business. That also includes any attempt to weaponize anomalous entities or phenomena that we will be educating the public about. We have, and will use, vast resources to block any attempt to do so. I said we wanted to make the world better, not improve the way people can kill each other. Next question.

Ambassador for the Russian Federation: I’m merely asking for the sake of m–

Dr. Dan: What about my previous answer made you think this was a point of negotiation, Ambassador? We will not be sharing any weapons technology with any organization or nation state.

Ambassador for Japan: So, would you explain your plans for dangerous anomalies currently within your care? Your presentation implied that these creatures would be set free.

Dr. Dan: No, we will not be releasing dangerous individuals or entities into the public. We will keep hold of the ones we have and continue to monitor the ones not within our physical control. We will work with your nations’ security forces and do our best to keep the people safe. That includes those individuals and cultures that have existed on the other side of the Veil. In terms of overall process, each will be evaluated individually and treated appropriately. But one thing we can be explicit about is that we will be providing information and analysis on all anomalous phenomena.

And let me be clear: while there are "creatures," the vast majority of anomalies are individuals like you and me, or phenomena and locations that have an anomalous effect. There are not ten thousand monsters in our control. We think this is a natural part of the ecosystem of the universe, we just don’t understand how it all works quite yet.

You can be assured, we will do everything in our power to minimize the danger. We cannot promise a complete lack of danger, because the world has always been a dangerous place. The Foundation did not keep everyone safe, they were interested in shielding society from the knowledge of the anomalous. We are interested in actually protecting the world. From yourselves, if necessary.

Site-01 – O5 Boardroom to be renamed

28 September, 2021

“And it went on from there. You can look at the transcript or watch it online like anyone else. More importantly, we need to talk about next steps,” Dan said.

Moose cleared her throat. “We need to immediately start reaching out to the major powers with diplomatic missions. The nations on the Security Council, NATO, the EU, Moscow, Tokyo, Seoul, etc. Basically, anywhere we have a Lighthouse, I want outreach starting tomorrow.”

A staff secretary was writing this down, along with notations for the meeting, nodding to himself as he typed.

“And what about those nations we will expect resistance from?” Varis asked.

“Well, concerning the Nälkän people and the anomalies, I was hoping you could step in and provide diplomacy. That will take us into Moscow at some point so we’ll want to start working with them directly. Let’s face it, a lot of countries will play hard to get but if we show them some of the things we know about within their borders, they will welcome us. Hesitantly, at first, but they will. These first few months, and probably years, it's going to be a set of moving goal posts, different in every situation.”

“For now, research needs to be paused. We focus on working with the public image and putting out fires. The announcement is only the first step,” Dan said.

“Like Varis, I will focus on reaching out to those communities who were behind the Veil. Especially Three Portlands and other Nexuses. I have dozens of mages and archivists ready to take this on, but I need Vanguard forces for security and anyone with experience in diplomacy,” Chao said.

“And you’ll have them. We have a lot of spare hands, agents and researchers who could be great at outreach. We need to maintain containment on the worst anomalies, while we start releasing information and those individuals that can be trusted not to cause trouble. But let’s not forget what Alto is most worried about,” Dan said.

“The tribunals. Gonna get messy eventually for a lot of people who have done bad things. For good reason,” Clef said. “We need to figure out who is expendable and who isn’t.”

“And by expendable you mean what?” Dan asked.

“The ones – who we can survive without – responsible for doing horrible shit, Doctor. So not you, because we need you. But there’s a lot of metaphorical and literal blood on our hands. Someone is gonna go on the chopping block re: D-class.”

“I’m not sure we want to reveal that right away. Obviously we cease all D-Class operations, but I don’t think we can release them just yet.”

“Jesus, Dan. You want to keep them prisoner?” Moose asked.

“No, I don’t. But we are fighting for PR now. If they think we’re slavers, what will they do?”

“No fucking way,” Varis said.

They all turned to look at him. Varis did not make a habit of cursing.

“We let every single one go. We give them therapy, we provide them with jobs if they’ll take them, and otherwise we let them go if they want to go. We keep tabs on them, obviously. Those with really heinous reasons for their designation, we watch. But we will not jail people indefinitely. Not if we ever want someone to believe us. It’s one thing to say ‘The Foundation did this horrible thing’ and another to keep those people hidden because we’re embarrassed.”

“We could offer them very lucrative and attractive positions, with specific benefits. They won’t get that out there with their histories. I bet a lot will stick with us,” Moose said.

“Okay. But it’s gonna get rough,” Dan said. He turned to Varis. “You’re right, I was looking at it like a problem to solve. But these are people.”

“We need to stop acting like the Foundation if anyone on either side of the Veil is ever to trust us,” Chao said.

“Well put. I think that sets us up nicely on our immediate action items.”

Moose nodded. “Yeah. There’s more than hundred years worth of conspiracies to clean up and start making amends for. Better get started.”