man overboard! - SCP Foundation

i am a captain, captain of the sea.

it stretches forever beyond

there i see the bridge in the distance. the same one my mama used to drive over for those family reunions. i remember when mama used to drive me over the bridge, when the radio was playing the same tunes, when we had the same conversations. i remember our talks, i remember her gentle voice. and today, i can hear her face-to-face instead of over line.

i remember when i got promoted to being captain of the navy. i remember when she continuously kissed me on the cheek, telling me how proud she was. she said i always loved the sea. i always loved going to the beaches, despite how rarely we do.

the sand between my toes,

the waves coming to shore,

how we'd spend hours till the sunset.

i missed those days, i missed her.

but today is the day i come back home.

i enter through the edge of the bridge in my old, ramshackle car. the sky is blue, the clouds are vacant, the water glistens in the midday sunlight. this sense of nostalgia never ceases to remind me of those days, simpler days. oh, where have the days gone?

no matter. home is only —

— so far away

ill just sit back and drive. take in the air-conditioned breeze as i watch the day pass me by. turn on the radio, see what modern music sounds like. years and years and years and years of work under such a stressful position was worth all the days off. cant wait to go home, return to her arms.

the radio is on.

faint scratching is heard, but i dont mind.

i begin to hum.

i think i know this one.

i dont know, its been a minute since i heard a song or two.

a moment passes.

then another,

and another.

silence…

…

..

.

how much time had passed?

the road is emptier than usual. actually, no. theres no one here except me. its awfully silent, more so than im used to. isolation. isolated. isolate. i feel so alone here all of a sudden. i could feel a sickening feeling swelling in my chest.

the sky isnt clear anymore. a fog surrounds me, encompassing my view. i can barely see. i held my breath, trying to calm myself down. i try to refocus. i gulp as sweat start trailing down my skin. my clothes begin to feel damp.

where did everyone go?

where have they gone?

where even am i?

where even am i?

where even am i?

where even am i?

where even am —

REMEMBER TO TAKE DEEP BREATHS. BREATHE IN… BREATHE OUT…

okay, okay, its okay. you're just overreacting, nothing else. a sudden silence? big deal. a blinding and suffocating fog? thats just standard weather. the fact that im the only one who seems to be driving on this seemingly unending road? its just not a busy day, thats all.

its fine

im fine

its fine

im fine

its fine

im fine

sure, it may feel like the journey's taking longer than usual, but its been so long since i crossed this bridge. my memory's just hazy. just turn up the radio and you'll be back in no time. to your neighborhood, to that simple one-story house where you grew up in. your friends, your family, your mama. all of them are waiting for you, waiting to hear the day you had.

just relax, you're clearly freaking out. turn up the radio.

turn up the radio.

i said TURN UP THE FUCKING RADIO.

STATIC.

ah, i guess that makes sense.

no matter, i can bare the silence. i can just sing myself a merry tune. the ones that mama used to sing me during those thunderstorms. distract myself from the smell of asphalt, the constant ringing, the whirring of the engine. my eyes almost trail off on occasion in an attempt to focus elsewhere. but no. its only the fog. the sky, the distant lands, the sea below me. its like they're part of the mist now.

it feels colder than usual. i can feel my thoughts throwing my mind in a loop. i need to go. i need to escape. please, i just want to lea —

HELP, HELP ME

i pause, blinking over and over and over again.

PLEASE, I WANT TO LEAVE

i rubbed my eyes until they hurt.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA —

my vision doesn't betray me.

i could feel a grip on my throat, clasping it, suffocating me. short. of. breath.

my car came to a stop as the headlights exposed a number of statues before me. screaming, i can hear them screaming. mouths agape, eyes glued tight, a sense of torment from how they stand. the thumping of my chest was drowned out by their screeching. i cant even hear my own thoughts.

my grip on the wheel tightened.

i stare at them. they stare me back.

they stare me back and approach.

they approach closer and closer. my foot hesitates.

my foot hesitates as they try to break in.

they try to break in, striking and bashing the windows repeatedly.

they strike and i step on the gas.

i step on the gas and run them over.

i run them over and drive off as fast as i can.

i drive off and ignore the bumps in the road.

a bump in the road grips onto the bonnet.

i turn left,

then right,

then left,

then right,

but its no use.

i see it in front of me.

i see it clawing its way toward me.

screeching,

screaming,

crying for help.

help…

help.

Help.

HELP.

HELP ME.

SOMEBODY, HELP ME —

TAKE DEEP BREATHS. TAKE DEEP BREATHS.

TAKE DEEP BREATHS. TAKE DEEP BREATHS.

TAKE DEEP BREATHS. TAKE DEEP BREATHS.

TAKE DEEP BREATHS. TAKE DEEP BREATHS.

oh fuck. i dont think im going home, mama. i feel the burning of my retinas, the world fading before me. i see the sunset in the horizons, the bike you got me when i turned six, the homemade meals you made. i see deep friend pastels on the kitchen table, the ever growing smile you had after every success, the comfort your arms brought after every failure. memory after memory flashed before my eyes as the sound of clawing creeps closer and closer. this feeling, this… nostalgia.

nostalgia…

Nostalgia.

the radio is on.

faint scratching is heard, but i dont mind.

i begin to hum.

i think i know this one.

when i was younger,

when i had all the time to myself,

when mama and i was talking

face

to

face

its been a while since i've been here, yet it feels like i always have. this bridge, how it stretches on beyond the point of logic, feels like a loop. circles in my head, spinning my thoughts. a recurring series of events reminding me of those days back home. no more paperwork, no more stressful nights, no more expectations.

days at the navy force. rocked back and forth with every step. rubbing arms with coworkers and higher ups alike, climbing to heights above the ceiling, attending every meeting and mission and get together. establishing connections, strengthening them, taking advantage of them. none of this felt right. the praise, the pats on the back, the tone in their voices. it doesn't feel right.

i said i loved the sea. i loved the waves of the ocean. i loved the sandy beaches and playing by the shores. i loved making sandcastles and drinking ice cold lemonade. i loved the sand between my toes. i wanted to go out there and sail the seven seas. i wanted to rule the water with an iron fist. thats all i ever wanted. i didn't want this. i didn't want any of this.

i just want to go home, but i left the map.

i paused for a moment.

then another,

and another.

silence, but i digress.

my eyes fixate on the statue losing its voice, trying to get to me, throwing both arms in the air before repeatedly striking the window screen. the noise is amplified as more rush in from behind and try to break in from there. all i could do was sit still and ponder every decision up to this point.

then i decided to make a decision.

i hold my breath and step on the gas, kicking into full overdrive. i grip onto the wheel like a handlebar as i constantly swerve from east to west, trying to shake off the statue plunging its fingers deep into the car's side. my surroundings melt like paint on a canvas. the smell of pastels entices me, drawing swirls in my eyes.

the days i've missed,

the days i've yet to miss,

the days i'll continue to miss.

the navy made me seasick

like waves of the ocean.

i don't care about being captain.

i didn't want to be captain.

i just want to go back —

— home.

…

i drove off the bridge.

the statue loses its grip, falling into the darkening sea.

my headlights are absorbed by the darkening sea.

no reflections in the darkening sea.

i see nothing beyond the darkening sea.

i hold my breath as the darkening sea

takes

me

home.

my car begins to sink. water starts seeping through the cracks as the sky before me becomes submerged. i can feel the weight pressing against the vehicle, pulling me in. the familiar taste of salt water comes to me. the familiar feeling of sand between my toes leaves me astray.

BREATHE IN… BREATHE OUT…

…

the radio is on.

faint scratching is heard, but i dont mind.

i begin to hum.

i think i know this one.

i dont know, its been a minute since i heard mama sing.

i remembered when mama sang to me during those thunderstorms.

i remembered how proud mama was when i became captain.

i thought i was too.

i remembered.

…

its been a long day

its been a very, very long day.

but today is the day i

come

back

home.

the sea is all i know

…

..

.

i was a captain, captain of the sea.