Derailment By Prehistoric Artillery Strike - SCP Foundation

SCP-3939 photographed prior to containment.

Item #: SCP-3939

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3939 is currently kept at Site-39 in pre-containment holding cell C (39-PC01-C). When not in testing it is to be kept in a standard containment locker of appropriate size.

Description: SCP-3939 is a gramophone, or record player, of unknown date of origin but consistent with design and manufacturing trends of the 1930s. It has an octagonal wooden base constructed of polished mahogany and is imprinted with the logo of HMV at the time. Atop this base is a turntable which is connected to the gramophone mechanism and a large brass horn. All components are in good condition.

SCP-3939 currently has a black vinyl record on the turntable, which is turning at a standard rate despite no visible source of power. Additionally, SCP-3939 possesses the ability to speak with a voice transmitted through the horn and potential sapience. Thus far it has only been shown to speak to certain people.

The brass horn always rotates to point at the observer. Other observers will see the horn rotate to point towards them.

Further tests are pending.

"Take a look around you, ████. Feel the world. Feel how fake it is. You're trapped in a story, doomed to repeat yourself forever in the minds of a thousand different readers. You're—"

Bang.

The sound of metal impacting metal comes from somewhere outside of the chamber. You jump, startled. There's a high chance 3939 is doing this to mess with you, though you distinctly noticed the vinyl record's movement stopping. This feels wrong.

"…You're trapped in here with me."

"I assume you're the only real thing in this story, then?"

It cocks its head slightly, despite not moving a head that it doesn’t have. "Actually, no. You're real too, somehow. And I'm not talking about the reader, I'm talking about you. This is a very—"

Bang.

The sound is louder this time. There's now dents in the chamber door and a muffled voice from the other side.

"—a very special story."

You're getting nervous now, but you realize 3939 is likely trying to break your composure. You won't let this happen.

"Stop being vague. What makes this story so special?"

Bangbangbang.

"Because I'm one of the anomalies that your Foundation contains. But they don't contain me in a cute little gramophone in a cute little pre-containment cell in Site-39, oh, no. I am a very powerful, very infectious, very sentient meme. And I just love hiding in information, waiting to infect my next victim. The best place for me to hide is a story, because when the reader is engaged with a story, it’s super easy for me to reach out and infect them."

I don't get it.

I don't understand.

I think that's dumb.

I don't believe you.

I think you're fucking with me.

This was written as part of the SCP Original Character Tournament, Round One, between my own Gunhead Anomalocaris and Croquembouche's Senior Researcher ████ ████████.

Be sure to check out Croquembouche's entry, Trilobites: Many Reasons To Kill Them, and 0 Reasons Not To, which is fantastic!

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