Sell, Clickbait, Profit 2: Skip Game - SCP Foundation

RE:RE:FWD: Keeping Your Children Safe this Christmas North of 40 Degrees

From: Dr. Amelia Buck <ten.pics|kcuba#ten.pics|kcuba>

To: Dr. Anne Worcester <ten.pics|2retsecrowa#ten.pics|2retsecrowa>

I have no idea what I'm looking at. To think amnestics were a thing all those years, only for this to happen. Here's another I found.

SCP Foundation Warns About Anomalies in Halloween Candy?

By Dr. Taylor Kaldahl

October 29, 2022

Is YOUR CHILD at risk of a taste-based cognitohazard? Are Halloween parties the perfect place for a containment breach? And are teens doing anomalous seasonal TikTok challenges? It's a complicated question.

Every year, police warn about drugs in Halloween candy. But this year, we have a new problem for parents to protect their children from. If you've been keeping up with the news you'll know that newly-publicized "anomalies" can hide anywhere. And that means children's candy as well.

We did our OWN research and found a since-retracted document from the Global Occult Coalition published in 2003 suggesting taste-based cognitohazards are a real threat? Clearly parents shouldn't take this risk. So how do you detect if little Timmy is about to swallow an eldritch monstrosity? Well that's where Today's sponsor, SkipSensor comes in! SkipSensor comes with over 100 hume monitoring processors and 10 different scanning modes! Simply swipe it over your kids candy, and it will be easy to keep harmful effects away from your precious family.

Next up, keeping safe at Halloween parties. Leaked foundation documents have PROVEN your teen COULD be attacked by a monstrous invincible being while out for festivities. Keep your teen safe with the all new "SCPinger Instant Help Radio! For just $42.99 your teen can walk home safely with the Foundation just a button click away!

Finally, it's the Skip Game challenge. A recent trend on SnapChat has encouraged teens with mild anomalous effects to STEAL things from teachers with their so-called "superpowers". Your teen may be participating in this dangerous activity, so sign up for Full-Time Phone Memetic Monitoring by ANOMATRUTHS. At an affordable $30 a month you can make sure your child isn't participating in these dangerous behaviors!

All of us parents would appreciate if the next challenge is the "Working Hard is An Anomalous Power" challenge.

COMMENTS:

#1: MOMOF2KIDS2022 Said: ISNT THAT THE TRUTH. DONT WANT MY KID EATING ANYTHING BUT NATURAL CANDY.

#3: MSCPGA2024 Said: And who put the Anomalies in candy? Probably the deep state, the Foundation isn't really running things we all know. #ClefAnon

#2: MSCPGA2024 Said:

My daughter's boyfriend must be an anomaly because he disappeared.

Anne, this is madness. Between this and latest "096ing" challenge on TikTok, who knows where we're headed?