The Ballad of Santa Troy - SCP Foundation

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the site

Everyone was busy, typing up skips (well, except Bright).

Pixel and Moose fought to keep peace in the chat,

For the Christmas trolls had awoken; poor ones at that.

Kalinin was writhing, though snuggled in bed,

For fears of awful skips were dancing through his head.

Drewbear sharpened his paws, and Zyn fluttered her wings,

Preparing for the newbies (among other such things).

When out from the wiki, there arose such a clatter

And Kaktus yelled "By my spines, what on Earth is the matter?"

To the forums they flew, Reject and Gaffney in a flash.

To see to their horror, SCP-231 musings like a rash.

The questions of [DATA EXPUNGED] briefly fluttered on the page;

For an eternity these would come, but must never be allowed to age.

When suddenly there came, to the mods beleaguered eyes',

A man in an ornate sled that made them cry (with joy, of course).

Twas an English professor, clad in red that would soon get him laid,

I don't know what his shoes looked like, so I'll assume they were suede.

His writing was indistinguishable; it was dope as hell.

They knew immediately his identity: it could only be TroyL.

"Santa Troy!" the staff all called with glee.

"What have you brought us? Unfinished Business Three?"

Santa Troy stood there proudly, majestically sporting his beards.

From his sack came fresh articles that quickly dissuaded our fears.

"On Clef! On Sorts! On Soulless! On Kate!"

"I got you these articles, now read them and rate!"

"On Eric! On Weizhong! On Anqxyr and Crayne!"

"Prepare your eyeballs, 'cos I'm makin' it rain!"

"On Esko! On Vivax! And the rest of them too!"

"I gave you the articles, now you know what to do!"

We all were in awe of Santa Troy's swag.

He got back in his sled and shut up his bag.

TroyL grabbed his pen and refilled it with ink.

And then he was gone, before we could blink.

Everyone sighed sadly, for Santa was gone.

But then we heard a voice, from the great beyond.

"All right you lazy fucks! It's time to write!"

"Merry Skipmas to all, and to all a good night!"