Roll Initiative; or, Dasher Crane Kicks Krampus Into Low Earth Orbit - SCP Foundation

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the site

A Doctor was stirring, preparing documents for the night;

The anomalies were locked in their chambers with care,

'cept one that would give our Doctor many grey hairs;

Dr. Prescott taps idly at his keyboard as the other researchers of Site-35 begin to clock out early for Christmas. Like most years, he decided to stay back with some of the other researchers that didn't celebrate or didn't have anyone to celebrate with; he was among the latter, but he didn't mind. Holidays were always a hard time for him, even before arriving at the Foundation, and given the choice of working on reports or having to deal with a family dinner, he would pick the former every time.

Tonight, Christmas Eve, he made it his task to review documentation surrounding some older objects, including SCP-7550, a particularly difficult anomaly for the time. Four years later, however, his solution seemed to keep the anomaly at bay.

Dr. Prescott was nestled and snug at his desk,

reviewing anomalies with abilities grotesque;

And suddenly a tapping, a knock at his door!

A familiar voice with whom he had good rapport.

"Mike? You still in there," A muffled voice calls from the other side of the door.

"You may come in."

Prescott folds his hands in his lap as the figure enters the room. She struggles with both twisting the door handle and trying not to drop a partially opened laptop.

"To what do I owe the honor, Officer Blake?"

She laughs.

"You don't have to be so formal, Mike, you can just call me Emily. I just wanted to check in is all. Director said you would still be here tonight."

"And you are as well. I expected you to be halfway to your vacation by now."

She holds up a particularly short straw.

"Seems no one wants to stay on site for Christmas." She sits on the corner of his desk, setting down the laptop and picking up his name plate, rotating it in her hand. "It's fine." She sets the name plate back down, colliding it with Prescott's mouse before moving it to her. Prescott places it back in its original position, straightening it.

"So why are you here, now? Don't you have, I don't know, cameras to watch or something?"

"Don't worry, doc. With me around, nothing is going to happen."

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,

The pair sprang from the office to check on the matter.

Away to the break room they flew like a flash,

To find the place filthy and covered in ash.

The pair enter the room, batting away black clouds of smoke from the unannounced explosion. Blake grabs a fallen lunch tray and begins to bat the smog away. After some time, the smoke clears enough for Prescott to notice a smoking red present on the table.

"Cough—Here! I think I see the source."

He goes to retrieve the present, brushing his hand against a once-green ribbon, causing it to unwind. The box opens, revealing a small packet titled Krampus Comes to the North Pole, two sheets of paper, two pencils, and a loose collection of dice.

"Huh, what a weird present. Anyways, nothing seems to be broken so I'll just tell the-"

"Wait, this isn't right." He mumbles. Prescott begins to circle the table, inspecting each of the elements carefully before finding a note nestled into the packet.

The yellow of lights and how softly they glow

Gave a sulfurous luster to the objects below,

When, what to the doctor's fearful eyes should appear,

But a large demon and location to which many disappear.

"Hello, doctor. I see you were finally interested enough to take part in the action yourself."

A large figure sits at the head of a low, stone table. On it are the objects from the breakroom with the addition of a few bags of chips, various other beverages, and two grey-scale character models.

"I-uh, what? I didn't join this game, there was no conveyance event. I-"

"You responded to my ad on Roll20, don't you remember? Around the same time your friend here did as well."

Prescott looks to Blake with a scowl.

"Listen- it just looked like a normal game and I thought it would be a small thing we could do to kill time on Christmas Eve."

"You clicked on an anomalous game ad?"

"She actually reached out and asked for specifics as well. Showed a lot of interest in the game."

"I can't believe this," Prescott begins to laugh and pace around the table. "This is just fantastic."

"Listen, Mike. I'm sorry it's just—do you think you can give this a chance? No one should be alone on Christmas, not even Xornos." She holds out a hand. "This will be fun, I promise."

"If it wasn't for Protocol 7550-Ω I would be back comfortably in my office."

He looks at Xornos, to the table, and finally to Blake.

"Fine."

With a demonic DM, so lively and quick,

The two players sat, bound in a trick.

A barbarian of totem, a wizard of flame;

With great haste Xornos started his holiday game!

"So of all the buildings you can see, the stables seem to be the most damaged. A trail of blood and soot leads towards the entrance, and the distant bleating of reindeer can be heard. What do you do?"

"Shit, Blake. I think-"

"I run towards the stables."

Blake grips a resin d20 in her hand. Its faded numbers just gentle shine through in the soft flame light.

"W-we should probably make a plan first, don't you think?"

Prescott begins sketching a diagram of the stables on the back of his character sheet, listing all the different variables and angles the pair could enter from. Xornos looks over, confused.

"Are you metagaming, doctor?"

"No. It's what my character would do. Pimster Earthfound of the Lucky Tree was quite the strategist in his glory days before coming on this adventure."

"You started at level 3, these are your glory days."

Prescott swallows hard and exhales. He places the paper back on the table, frustrated.

"Fine. I guess I follow Vola into the burning stable."

"Great. As you enter the burning stables, all you see is red. Viscera hang between the stalls, and you can see the bodies of small elves and reindeer alike. In the center, a grand figure clad in white fur leans over a still-breathing reindeer. It locks eyes with you, pulling the heart from the beast-"

Xornos attempts to mimic the sound of an organ being pulled from the body, saliva landing before the pair. Blake squirms at the sound.

"Xornos, are there any reindeer still alive in here?"

"The scene is a bit chaotic. Do you mind rolling a perception check for me?"

Blake casts the die on the table, and a triumphant '19' faces upwards towards the trio. She pumps her fist in excitement.

"So in one of the far stalls towards the other end of the stable still has a reindeer kicking around, trying to escape."

"Emi-Vola, we should try to save it."

"I know, I know. Just follow my lead."

The barbarian steps forth and howls with ambition

"Avenge your bretheren: Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen!"

The bleats were replaced with the shake of a wall

For brave Dancer had answered the warrior's call.

"Suddenly, a reindeer crashes from the far stall, startling your foe-"

Blake nudges Prescott.

"C'mon, Mike. Now's your chance."

"But, you have it distracted. Shouldn't you take the swing?"

"I've already used my action to cast Speak With Animals. Besides, I think you should take the chance to be a hero."

Prescott nods and picks up one of the dice.

"Pimster is going to pull back and attempt to cast- wait. How large is the room?"

"I'd say about 60x20ft. Why?"

"Well, I was going to cast fireball, but-" Blake nudges Prescott again. "Ahem. Pimster is going to cast fireball centered at the creature."

"Are you sure, doctor? You're within range of the spell."

Prescott hesitates.

"I don't think I have too much choice."

"Alright."

Dry hay and leaves before the flaming vortex fly

Tiny embers of orange that paint winter sky.

Up to the rooftop, the creature it flew

Gripping red hat and a sack of presents too.

"Shit! I knew I shouldn't have rolled up an evocation wizard for a one-shot focused on Krampus of all creatures. Damnit."

Prescott firmly places down the pencil he was holding and momentarily turns away from the table.

"Mike? Hey, it's alright. There's no way you could've known. Besides, we're here to have fun after all."

"Being sent to Hell to play Dungeons and Dragons with a demon is what you consider fun?"

She turns momentarily to Xornos before looking back towards the doctor.

"Of course. I get to play a fun game with my friend on Christmas Eve of all nights," she leans in and whispers, "of course present company is questionable but what can you do, you know?"

"Pardon?"

"Nothing, Xornos. Sorry."

"So, you're not mad? The plan failed, Krampus got away with all the presents."

"And? We'll just chase it. We can do that, right, Xornos?"

The demon lets out a delighted, toothy smile, before flipping some pages in the packet.

"Though defeated, the brave adventurers collect themselves and begin to trek towards Santa's workshop. Before you leave, however, Dasher paces towards you, placing a belled-wreath in your hand. It gives a thankful snort as you tread deeper into the snow. After some time, you arrive at Santa's workshop. Seemingly empty, you step in and see the fire roaring and an empty tray of milk and cookies sitting on the table adjacent to a large, cushioned chair. What do you do?"

Prescott picks up a d20 and begins rotating it in his hand. With an encouraging look from Emily, he speaks.

"I'd like to look around to see if anything is hiding."

"Make a perception roll for me."

The resin die bounces across the table, striking both a pencil and a plastic cup before coming to a complete, upright stop. Prescott's heart sinks as he sees the number staring back at him.

"That's a natural 1."

The creature's bells twinkled as it appeared with a "poof";

Crimson red staining but just a single hoof.

As the wizard lifted his head and was turning around

The creature was upon him, with ear piercing sound.

The die seemingly laughs at Prescott as he looks on in horror. Blake grabs a spare plastic cup and sharpie and writes "Dice Jail" on the side before throwing the die inside.

"Won't be needing that one anymore. You can use some of my dice. They haven't been so unlucky."

"Am I going to die? I've been at half health since the last encounter. Do you have any more healing potions? We should have taken a short rest before-"

Xornos clears his throat.

"The creature shrieks at you as it attempts to make an attack with its claws. What's your AC?"

"Uhhhhh, 12? Yeah, 12."

"Although surprised, you're able to narrowly avoid the creature's claws by blocking it with a silver cookie platter. The creature hisses as it scrapes against the silver, burning the creature where it touches it. Please, roll initiative for me."

The players roll initiative; Prescott is first followed by Emily, with the creature at the top of the order. Prescott looks over to her.

"I have an idea, I just need you to follow up, alright?"

She nods.

"I would like to cast minor illusion on the presents."

It was baptized in fire, dressed in all soot;

Completely unaware of the plot that's afoot.

For all of the toys it held on its back,

Were turned into silver before the barbarian's attack.

"The creature notices you casting a spell but fails to figure out its effect. You see it turn around and hiss, dropping the sack of presents that now glow with a silvery shine. It's going to use a legendary action to push you, Pimster.

Prescott rolls against Xornos, the latter of which coming out to be the victor.

"The creature is able to successfully knock you down. You look up at it from a freshly powdered snow pile, created from a gaping hole in the workshop's roof. Vola, you're up."

"I think I would like to rage and then do a reckless attack with my great axe and a shove to push it away from me."

Emily rolls two die, revealing a '14' and '17' respectively.

"Your body burns with a renewed vigor as you call on your primal strength. The bear totem, hanging haphazardly off the head of your axe reverberates, and you let out a roar as you stare down the creature-"

Emily attempts to roar like a bear, causing Prescott to choke on his drink.

"You wind up and swing, embedding your axe just above the creature's mangled shoulder. It howls as the cold steel enters its body, and you can hear an audible tear as you, in one motion, kick the creature back and remove your axe. The creature stumbles, still upright, and steadies itself right near Pimster."

Its eyes how they glistened as it thought "how merry";

Blood matted its fur, dark red as a cherry.

A vicious sneer flashed as it drew back its bow;

Aiming for the wizard, half dead in the snow.

"The creature, angered, draws back a bow comprised of the bones of several large creatures and fires at Pimster."

Xornos rolls and looks up at the doctor.

"Does a 10 hit?"

"Thank god. No, it doesn't hit."

"You watch as the arrow embeds itself in the floor, nearly between your legs. The creature snarls at you. You can see its winding tongue lick at its razor-sharp teeth as it eyes you for its dinner."

The doctor pauses and looks down at his spell slots. He doesn't have many left, nor any ideas on what could help the situation right now. A 1st-Level spell calls out to him and, noting his surroundings, decides to cast it.

"I'm going to cast Create or Destroy Water at first level."

Emily and Xornos look at him confused.

"Given that the snow Pimster's lying in isn't melting, it's safe to assume that the temperature is low enough to chill the water. Since the spell lets me create 10 gallons of water, about 84 pounds of weight, the creature should be knocked prone and cooled by the spell."

Xornos pauses, opening a copy of the Player's Handbook and skimming through to find the spell.

"Although the spell requires an open container, I'll allow it because that's a clever plan. Still prone on the floor, you raise your hand and create a large droplet of water. As it falls on the creature, you see it fall backward, knocked prone. Vola, your turn."

"Another reckless attack. Going to put this thing in the ground."

She rolls the die. As if struck by cosmic unfortune, both of them reflect a '1' upwards. They are cast into the dice jail just as fast as they were rolled.

"As you go to swing you feel the sharp scrape of nails digging into your abdomen. The creature snarls, lifting itself off the ground, and pushes you back. You collide with a wooden wall, splintering it, creating visible lines as your feet slide through the snow."

The barbarian leaned against the wall and gritted her teeth,

A genius thought hit her, as she reached for the wreath;

Grasping her wounds as red flowed from her belly,

She shook as she laughed and the snow turned to jelly.

"I'm going to use my bonus action to ring the wreath."

"Do you have anything to heal? You're bleeding quite bad."

"I ran out of potions in the last fight. This may be the end for me."

She turns to Xornos.

"Do the bells do anything?"

"The sound of bells reverberate in the winter air. It seems everything has gone silent, with only the sound of ringing and your labored breaths replacing the sounds of battle. You wait for what feels like an eternity, but nothing happens."

"I'm sorry, Mike. I tried."

"The creature is going to take its turn now. It's going to make a claw attack against you and it rolls a…natural 20."

It stared down the wizard, the easiest prey,

Cornered in the workshop, the last light of day.

The barbarian cried as it twisted her head,

The wreath in her hand, the soft bells of dead.

Prescott begins to shut down as he takes in the reality of his situation. He can feel the eyes of the other members of the table, they rely on him to finish the job, but he doesn't feel ready. Xornos' mouth opens as if to speak, but the doctor can't hear anything. It's as if he was that halfling wizard alone in the snow, watching as a creature kills his only friend. He momentarily comes through, catching the middle of Xornos' monologue.

"-slumps to the ground. The creature no longer regards you as a threat as you sit so small in the snow. You see it walk over to a large red sack, the contents of which no longer glow with silver. Dr. Prescott, is there anything you would like to do? Dr. Prescott?"

He closes and opens his eyes, finding himself in the scene the demon so eloquently described. His body aches from cold and injury, and he feels the fear of the halfling as the large creature begins to devour the contents of the velvet bag. He looks at his dead comrade, painting the snow a darker and darker red with every moment passed. She believed in something, she had a hope that they would be able to save the day, to save Christmas.

A quiet sadness passes through his mind as he watches that hope burn out like the fire in her eyes did just moments ago.

In this world she may have been someone, like Security Officer Blake was who sat next to him. That hope, that fire that burned for a reason that the doctor would never hope to discover, it drove him into action. He reaches out his hand, creating a blue phantasmal image that snakes along the splintered wooden floors and ruined furnishing to grasp the wreath.

He rang the bell. He rang the bell like it was the only action between his life and death, and he prayed to the world that the same fire that allowed the barbarian to burn and rage, would allow the universe to grant him this one last wish.

It spoke not a word as it admired its work

Devoured the presents; then turned with a jerk,

A reindeer stood to the height of its nose,

And delivered a kick; to orbit the creature rose!

"You watch as Dancer lifts up its two back legs and delivers a powerful kick to the creature, sending it upwards into the air. The snapping of bone and horn can be heard, creating a gnarly sound in the empty workshop. The reindeer walks over to you, sniffing at you, and licks your face, almost as if to say 'thank you.'"

Xornos closes the packet and smiles.

"I hope this was a fun game. If you compare this to my early games, I'm sure you'll see I made a lot of progress, doctor."

Prescott breathes a sigh of relief.

"At least no one died this time."

"Mike! You did it! You won!"

Emily shakes the doctor, surprising him but later causing him to smile.

"Thank you, Xornos. This was a lot of fun."

They put down their die and returned with a whistle

Back to the site, they flew like a missile.

But they looked to the demon, 'fore leaving his sight,

And he wished them "Merry Christmas" and a very good night.