Time and Time Again - SCP Foundation

A poem (sestina form) inspired by SCP-4975

Time and Time Again

It's keeping me awake, wearing down my mind–

The clock's ticking is unusually loud;

My thoughts flutter around like wounded birds.

I'm willing the noise to just stop on its own, whatever it takes,

But there's no way I can lock myself inside forever.

Whatever I don't know should remain silent.

It's unnerving when it is perfectly silent,

But I would prefer it now for some peace of mind.

This constant reminder that life doesn't last forever,

We can rarely hear it so clearly and loud.

No way to tell how much of my life it takes

To lie here and listen to the night birds.

The constant ticking reminds me of pecking birds;

I can't command a force of nature to be silent.

To keep us aware of time, the clock instead takes.

I try in vain to fall back asleep or steady my mind.

No use; the ticking is just too loud.

Gears turn, springs wind so it can go on forever.

I can't remain between sleep and waking forever.

Outside now, the chirping of morning birds

Is comforting, but not nearly long or loud

Enough to drown it out; no question now of silence.

There's a war waged only in the mind,

And sanity is the price both sides take.

I wonder what will emerge, what takes

Control eventually, when reason is lost forever?

It's an interesting puzzle for a stable mind,

But not for one scattered like a flock of birds.

Until now, I never found peace in being silent.

Sleep, death even, so long as it isn't loud.

The ticking goes on––it can't be this loud.

Something else is the source, something that takes

Pleasure in distress, hateful of true silence.

It feels like it's been around forever,

Persistent as a long-beaked bird

Tapping away at the foundations of my mind.

But in the end, whether silent or loud,

The mind, even from itself, takes what it takes

To forever hide from the terrible bird.