Skirmish at Crane's Pub - SCP Foundation

The following is a collection of all relevant documentation regarding the conflict between Foundation personnel and agents of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. over the purchase of SCP-2253.

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Records and internal correspondence of Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd. concerning SCP-2253.

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Inventory Statement

S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Status
Acquirable

Demand
High

Value
Not for Sale

Availability
Unique

Identifier
Stephen Crane's Pub and Brewery

Description
Item is a relatively small brewery located in Springfield, New Jersey, in the United States. Alcohol produced on the premises will sometimes have a stronger flavour.

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

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Initial Report

Author
Francis Connelly
Date
████ ██, ████

Interest
High
Identifier
Stephen Crane's Pub and Brewery

While on holiday after another assignment, a number of locals directed me to the item of interest. Though it is no small artefact, the rather odd name and abnormal flavour and colour of their product warrant further investigation. Possibly a Foundation front.

File Opened Under:
S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

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Electronic Correspondence

S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Sender
Francis Connelly
Recipient
Gideon Branson

Good afternoon, Mr Branson.

We spoke earlier this week about the purchase of Item S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5. I was wondering if you had completed the draft, yet.

Respectfully yours,

Mr Francis Connelly

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

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RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Sender
Gideon Branson
Recipient
Francis Connelly

sorry for any delay, mr Connelly

I am not really a master of words myself so iI gave the job to a mate. she is very good with writing letters!! oh & sh e can b trusted shes in the same business as us. no hard feelings mate, right??? haha

Gideon Branson

Celebrating 20 Years in Sales!

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

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RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Sender
René Dermott
Recipient
Francis Connelly

Mr Connelly,

Our mutual associate contacted me. I accept the task and have attached the letter you wanted. No payment over unsecured networks, please.

Sincerely,

René

Attachment: SALE_LETTER.txt

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

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Close document

RE: RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Sender
Francis Connelly
Recipient
Gideon Branson

Mr Branson,

DELETED TEXT: What on Earth were you thinking?! Do you really want to split the prestige about this find three ways? I have no idea how to get it into your thick skull that LESS PEOPLE MEANS MORE FOR US.

I received the letter. Thank you.

Respectfully yours,

Mr Francis Connelly

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

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RE: RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Sender
Francis Connelly
Recipient
René Dermott

Ms Dermott,

Thank you for the file. I will send it immediately.

P.S. I have not heard of you before, but it seems we are both acquaintances of Mr Branson. Perhaps we could have a lunch sometime?

Respectfully yours,

Mr Francis Connelly

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

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RE: RE: RE: S73V3/N5C6K/83ER5

Sender
René Dermott
Recipient
Francis Connelly

Mrs Dermott.

Thank you for the money.

P.S. I have not heard of you before, but it seems we are both acquaintances of Mr Branson. Perhaps we could have as little contact as possible in the future?

It's never going to happen,

René

Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd.

Log of Conversation Between Owners

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Please input credentials.

Accepted.

Messages obtained through the ████████ chat service.

** Connected to user JerseyBoyz

*** Current time is: 04:37:20 AM

<brewmeisterUSA (04:37:20)> heyyy man whats up??

<JerseyBoyz (04:38:10)> Nothing much, u?

<brewmeisterUSA (04:38:53)> got a wierd af email

<brewmeisterUSA (04:39:06)> hang on ill send it to you

<brewmeisterUSA (04:39:40)> work adress ok??

<JerseyBoyz (04:41:02)> Yeah that's fine.

<brewmeisterUSA (04:41:41)> k

<brewmeisterUSA (04:42:11)> lol your never gonna believe this shit

<brewmeisterUSA (04:42:36)> you think its a con???

<JerseyBoyz (04:44:09)> Hang on I'm looking at it…

<JerseyBoyz (04:50:17)> LOL WTF

<JerseyBoyz (04:50:34)> This is hilarious! "To the proprietors" LMAO!

<brewmeisterUSA (04:50:51)> i knwo right??/?

<brewmeisterUSA (04:51:12)> its some kinda scam. gotta me

<brewmeisterUSA (04:51:15)> be*

<JerseyBoyz (04:51:32)> IDK man, this looks legit.

<brewmeisterUSA (04:52:08)> you really think so???? hmm hang on ill do some digging

<JerseyBoyz (04:52:31)> Okay. Hey, did you meet Diego last night?

<brewmeisterUSA (04:53:04)> did i ever!!!

[IRRELEVANT DISCUSSION OMITTED]

<brewmeisterUSA (05:07:23)> k so you were right they look legit but kinda shadey??

<brewmeisterUSA (05:08:40)> like theres like no presense online or site or nothing

<brewmeisterUSA (05:09:14)> but some ppl talking about "Professionalism" or some bull

<brewmeisterUSA (05:09:23)> idk what to make of it tbh……

<JerseyBoyz (05:09:37)> Damn, that IS shady…

<JerseyBoyz (05:09:53)> Hey, be right back.

** User JerseyBoyz is AFK - reason: idle

** User JerseyBoyz is Active

<JerseyBoyz (05:11:36)> I was thinking. Should we tell him?

<brewmeisterUSA (05:12:10)> lol YESS this is limey AF he'll love it

<JerseyBoyz (05:12:27)> Haha okay! See you soon, man!

<brewmeisterUSA (05:12:43)> bye dude

** User JerseyBoyz is Offline

Foundation documentation regarding the incident on ██/██/████.

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Field Report 2253-V

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WARNING: THIS DOCUMENT IS ONLY ACCESSIBLE TO THOSE WITH LEVEL THREE SECURITY CLEARANCE AND ABOVE.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR (WILLING OR OTHERWISE) COMPLIANCE.

DATE OF INCIDENT: ██/██/████

LOCATION OF INCIDENT: Springfield, New Jersey, USA

ANOMALIES INVOLVED: 2253

EXTERNAL ORGANIZATIONS INVOLVED: Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd.

CASUALTIES: No deaths, one hangover (treated with aspirin).

KILLED/CAPTURED: 3 agents, two male and one female.

RESOURCES USED: Standard equipment, Class-B amnestics for fifteen police officers, 3 shot glasses

TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW 2253-V-4

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████, director of the Metanormal Occurrences Committee, conducted an interview with Sgt. Diana G█████████ (MTF-█████-██) about the events of ██/██/████.

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: Please state your name for the record.

Sgt. Diana G█████████: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Diana G█████████, MTF-█████-██.

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: And you were present during the events of ██/██/████ in Springfield, New Jersey? Is that correct?

Sgt. Diana G█████████: Yes, sir.

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: Right. Well, then, would you explain what happened there? Please be specific, this is going to be included in the final paperwork.

Sgt. Diana G█████████: Leans forward in chair. Okay, so I'm eating lunch when I get the call. [Deeper voice, mocking tone] "Get off your ass, Di! Some nutters are trying to take the place!"

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: Mhmm.

Sgt. Diana G█████████: So then I say: "Who would be stupid enough to assault here of all places?" That place is paradise — the best assignment I have ever had. Right next to this incredible deli that made my sandwich that day-

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: [Interrupting] Who?

Sgt. Diana G█████████: The Parker Brothers Deli. Real nice guys, the folks that own it-

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: [Interrupting] No, I mean who assaulted it?

Sgt. Diana G█████████: Oh! Oh. Okay, so I get my gear on and hop over there, and I see three bastards from Micky Dee's arguing about something. There was a lot of p-

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: "Micky Dee's"?

Sgt. Diana G█████████: You know. Marshall, something something.

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: Oh, I see. Please continue.

Sgt. Diana G█████████: Right. So these three whackos are there. Already secured the building, some civvie called the cops, a total clusterf[EXPLETIVE OMITTED]. I go through the back door and hug the walls until I reach the front, and all Hell breaks loose.

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: What do you mean by that?

Sgt. Diana G█████████: I'm getting there — so the first visual I get is these nutters taking cover behind a table that they knocked over or something. Glasses, beer, those little novelty hipster bottle openers — all being flung at them. There were maybe three or four customers cowering behind anything they could find, too.

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: Is it true that the apparition in question was-

Sgt. Diana G█████████: [Interrupting] Who? Steve?

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: Yes.

Sgt. Diana G█████████: Oh, yeah. He was pissed. Kept them busy while I got around and detained the intruders.

[Long pause, no talking]

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: You're f[EXPLETIVE OMITTED] with me, aren't you?

Sgt. Diana G█████████: I swear it's the whole [EXPLETIVE OMITTED] truth.

[Longer pause, no talking]

Mr. A█████ K██████ S██████: [EXPLETIVE OMITTED]

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René Dermott, Francis Connelly, and Gideon Branson had been monitoring the target for weeks, now. Their rival was good, no doubt about that. Outwardly, the place seemed like a normal business. Sales and tax records showed no suspicious activity, and the background checks on the owners came up clean. No one would suspect a thing if they didn't know how they operated. Arrogant, always arrogant. Too obvious with their cover, and, in the opinion of Mr. Connelly, terribly ordinary. This business required finesse — the sort of skill unique to their organization. Evidently, Francis' colleagues disagreed with him, because they were preparing to capture their target by force. Their usual methods had fell through, and his partners, being unaccustomed to field work, chose to risk it all and vanish rather than continue operating in the open.

"You good, Fran?" Gideon Branson said with genuine concern, a rarity in his line of work.

"Terribly so, Mr. Branson, thank you," replied Francis.

"You talk like you are from a movie, Connelly," René Dermott commented with unconcealed distaste.

"Why, thank you, dear René," Francis chided with concealed distaste.

"Ahh, that's just how Fran talks, Mrs. D. He don't mean nothing by it, I swears," said Mr. Branson.

They continued to prepare themselves in silence. Each had a small firearm in case things came to that, though only one of them knew how to use it. Gideon parked their stake-out car in an alley across the street, and all three met and casually walked into the brewery. It was empty, save for a young man behind the counter and a few customers sitting and enjoying their drinks. Almost immediately, the hanging lamps began to sway slowly. Then, the light bulbs exploded and the building was thrown into darkness. A few people screamed when the lights went out, but there was only a moment of blindness.

A soft green glow radiated from behind the counter. As it grew brighter, tables and chairs began to levitate. The faint outline of a man became distinguishable in the eerie light, and shot glasses hung in the air with the furniture. René Dermott, Francis Connelly, and Gideon Branson barely dodged a table when it sped toward them without warning. They sought cover behind it after it landed to protect themselves from an onslaught of cheap dining furniture.

"Shoot it, for the love of God! Shoot it!" Francis yelled.

Several shots were fired into blackness, until no bullets were left, but this only seemed to increase the speed of the projectiles.

The green glow crept closer to the three intruders. Just as Sgt. Diana apprehended them, a ghostly voice filled their ears…

"Tell King George that this is how we party in America."