The Ballad of Region 352 - SCP Foundation

The following document was recovered from the field journal of LMTF 352-Dalet agent Isaac Allred-Smith during a routine documentation audit. At the request of Regional Director Kate McTiriss, it has been reproduced below "for the general amusement of Foundation staff." Agent Allred-Smith has declined to comment.

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"The Ballad of Region 352"

Fire don't seem quite right tonight

Can't hear it crackle and pop.

Got a new red light glowing over the town;

It ain't never gonna stop.

Not sure just what I'm doing

Or where I'm s'posed to be.

Foundation says, and I guess it's true,

It's the perfect place for me.

Oh, Dixieland Nightmare Magic

Just a little bit funny, just a little bit tragic.

If small-town politics interest you,

We've got an opening here in three-fifty-two.

Got a call in from the town today

Said Pastor Lewis died.

But the cemetery's full of ministers

Guess we'll see him on the other side.

Walked to Cross City City City City Hall

Felt just like a dream.

Think I'll try my hand playin' baseball

There's an opening on the team.

Oh, Dixieland Nightmare Magic

Just a little bit funny, just a little bit tragic.

If small-town politics interest you,

We've got an opening here in three-fifty-two.

Got Baptists and Catholics by the score,

Got anomalies knockin' on our door,

Got a church that's crawling the ocean floor,

Got a passive-aggressive holy war.

Oh, Dixieland Nightmare Magic

Just a little bit funny, just a little bit tragic.

If small-town politics interest you,

We've got an opening here in three-fifty-two.