Sometimes It's Not Funny - SCP Foundation

Log from Bluntfiend's Big Boyz Burger Club

jockjamsvol6 has entered the chat.

harmpit: yuor a ducking fdool

lesbian_gengar: lmao what about warren??? they're ALL fucking creepys.

jockjamsvol6: Guys, I got some bad news.

gaycopmp4: listen andrews super cute it makes up for it

lesbian_gengar: that's surprisingly het of you, gaycop.

polaricecraps: cmon buffy rofl normies

harmpit: im' soryr gcm4 btul iking the trio isr idicoulus

jockjamsvol6: Shut up about stupid shit for a second, fuck. This is bad.

hetcopogg: ?

jockjamsvol6: I'm sorry.

jockjamsvol6: One of our number, one of the young ones, killed herself. Dove. chereamie.

polaricecraps: oh god. that's fuckin horrible. would I have known her from anything?

bones: This is a time of sorrow for us all. She was an exemplary human being. I regret that you did not all have the opportunity to know her.

hetcopogg: i was just talking to her the other night. i knew her from the trans girl chat. she really was an angel.

gaycopmp4: i knew her from the medical stuff and i was always so worried that the janitors would clean her up you know she was pretty free with what she could do at the planned parenthood and the clinics and fuck

hetcopogg: i'm sorry guys. i'll be back later. i can't do this right now.

hetcopogg has left the chat.

lesbian_gengar: it was the parents, wasn't it?

jockjamsvol6: I didn't hear much, but I think so.

bluntfiend: I knew her from one of the chats. Sweetest girl you ever knew, honest. Jesus Christ. Never knew anybody who was just so fucking willing to help.

gaycopmp4: i know she was so good dove was so smart and funny and she really helped me a lot w/ the hugbox thing she knew so much about that shit so much about the body.

lesbian_gengar: i didn't get the chance to know her. i saw a few things she did. talented girl, honestly. i'll miss her. and what she would've done, i guess.

lesbian_gengar: may her memory be a blessing. what do you christians say?

bluntfiend: I don't remember what we say.

gaycopmp4: i never know what to say during these things im sorry guys

bones: It is alright.

bluntfiend: Do we know when the funeral will be? Or, the wake? Does she come from a wake family? @lesbian_gengar, if you're up to it, I think we should go there. I don't want Dove to be buried under another name.

jockjamsvol6: I'll PM you both.

polaricecraps: is there anything I can do?

gaycopmp4 has left the chat.

bones: I think the only suitable option we have at this juncture is to mourn. We mourn, and we strive to ensure it is never repeated.

lesbian_gengar: if i need anything, i'll ask. thanks, PIC.

harmpit: i hope there is some place else she can go where she will be happier than she was here, and i hope it doesn't take a long time for her to get there.

bluntfiend: You don't have to pull yourself together like that. I don't think she'd be mad if you made typos when talking about her.

harmpit: the least i can give her is my concentration.

polaricecraps: I wish I had known her. I really do. I always meant to talk to her. she seemed so kind.

bones: @jockjamsvol6, when you receive news of her funeral, please send me the address. I wish to provide flowers. She enjoyed lilies.

jockjamsvol6: She'd've really liked that. Thanks, big guy.

bluntfiend: Hey, so. Apropos of nothing, but can we change the name?

lesbian_gengar: no.

jockjamsvol6: No.

polaricecraps: I wish there was something I could do. I wish the world wasn't like this. why do our best keep dyin and the bad fuckers keep on livin?

bluntfiend: Wish I knew.

Log from Weedville Population You

polaricecraps: fuck there's another nazi march thing at the campus near my house. I don't even have energy to troll. fascists have gotten too fuckin brave.

orbhorse: its definitely a shitbad world we live in yeah

polaricecraps: makes me want to fuckin pakoosh the living hell out of the whole thing, every last one.

harmpit: dnot joek about thatt htsa not cool

rubberbannedman: im super NOT in the mood to talk about all this serious shit.

polaricecraps: fuckin newsflash dudes but we are livin in the fuckin serious times. we are livin in the fuckin wildstyle bullshit world and you don't get to pretend. maybe we can't be all adverse to violence when it's fuckin bein done on us!

harmpit: thsi chat is 1 of the lghith aerted 1s for a reason PIC

bones: PIC, your passion is being diverted into anger. Do not take this out on a comrade.

kkrule: hey guys come to my twitch im about to start playing

tiedyeduck: no

FreakyGhostBed: Never in a fucking million years

Kektagon: PM me a link @kkrule

kkrule: :-)

bones: Send me a link as well, and I will watch.

kkrule: !!! thanks bones !!!

opposum: dont get to into it bones itd be unfair for a robot to play LoL

bones: I will do my best.

polaricecraps: this isn't a time to calm down. people are succumbing to despair and we're watching that stupid bernie fuck play some fucking normie ass moba game?

harmpit: tid oesn't always haev to be gloom n doom

kkrule: im playing PUBG anyway

bones: I don't play games.

polaricecraps: I'm sayin doom n gloom might be what we fucking need or else we're no better than liberals.

harmpit: aer yuo honstely callign me a liberal?

bones: Calm down, now. Both of you.

polaricecraps: nazis are marching in our streets and people are killing themselves and you want me to fucking talk about kkrule streaming some fucking bullshit?

kkrule: it's a shooting game.

harmpit: dnot ducking act like ims oem dispasssionate observaer im not white ill be killed dont pretend just cuzi mnots cremaning allthe tiem doesnt mean i dont care

FunkoPopFan1 has left the chat.

bones: I am muting the chat. This is not a productive conversation. polaricecraps and harmpit, take this to private messages if you must. I suggest that you do not.

orbhorse: @kkrule did you seriously die already

polaricecraps: fuck your mute order or wjatever fuck this tepid liberalism in the face of a dead comrade.

polaricecraps has left the chat.

Kektagon: uh i'm gonna head out i'm too high for how serious this shit is getting

Kektagon has left the chat.

tiedyeduck: escalated p quick huh

harmpit has left the chat.

kkrule: hey guys im in a different game you should all comr back!!!

bones: polaricecraps will be banned from this chat for forty-eight hours. This is a second warning.

opposum: fuck

talman_corvett: yo im in late but kkrule video games suck send me that link let's see you get owned, boy.

kkrule: :-) kk

rubberbannedman: well i just got back and jesus im SUPER sorry for starting all this shit, bones.

bones: I do not feel there is any reason you should have to feel sorry.

Log from GAW Mod Talkzone

bluntfiend: I'm back from Dove's funeral.

lesbian_gengar: me, too.

jockjamsvol6: I wish I could've been there. How was it?

bluntfiend: Not so good at first. Dahlia came with us. She wasn't doing so good.

lesbian_gengar: the monsters were going to bury her in a suit. they cut her hair.

bluntfiend: Nothing a little razzledazzle couldn't fix. We brought Dahlia in after. I couldn't let her see Dove like that.

bones: From there, it went smoothly?

lesbian_gengar: treated her like the woman she'd always been. i wanted to fuck with them.

bluntfiend: I told her that wouldn't be cool.

lesbian_gengar: bluntfiend had said yeah that it wouldn't be cool. dove wasn't about that life.

jockjamsvol6: I really do wish I could have come. I'll miss her until the day I die.

bones: We all will in the place where the truth of our heart is kept.

bluntfiend: It was a beautiful mass. Roman Catholic. They've loosened stuff about deaths from suicide, you know. Dahlia gave a eulogy. I don't know how everyone felt about it.

lesbian_gengar: it was beautiful.

jockjamsvol6: How'd they take it?

bluntfiend: Better than they would have if Esther and I weren't there, I guess.

jockjamsvol6: Yeah.

lesbian_gengar: anyways you shouldve seen jude in his big boy clothes.

jockjamsvol6: No pajama pants? No dirty shirt?

lesbian_gengar: fucking khakis, dude.

jockjamsvol6: Lmao when did you get khakis, Jude?

bluntfiend: I went to a Catholic high school. You guys know this. We had uniforms and everything.

jockjamsvol6: Oh yeah, shit. The pope would've wanted you to look slick. That's good.

bones: I do not mean to intrude upon owning Jude and remembering Dove, but I believe there are some things that we need to deal with.

jockjamsvol6: PIC thing?

bluntfiend: Shit, is he okay?

bones: Physically unhurt. That is not the issue.

jockjamsvol6: Got in an argument with harmpit. We think Dove's death is getting to him. He's just really fucking serious and mean lately.

bluntfiend: What was it about?

bones: Mostly, it was about killing.

lesbian_gengar: what?

jockjamsvol6: PIC was kind of mad about the whole no killing rule. Just got in a big row kinda with harmpit.

bluntfiend: And Armand didn't let it out?

lesbian_gengar: they're not an idiot.

bones: Armand did not reveal any secrets during the argument. Their argument was emotional but academic.

bluntfiend: I know I just had to ask. I think maybe someday I should tell them.

jockjamsvol6: Let's not rush to tell them their pacifist hero has a body count.

lesbian_gengar: don't be a dumbass.

bluntfiend: I'll talk to PIC, bones. Thanks for dealing with it.

bones: It has never been a problem, and I cannot foresee it becoming one.

jockjamsvol6: He's been banned for a couple days.

lesbian_gengar: when's it up?

bones: The ban has timed out. I have not seen him. I will notify you if he signs on.

jockjamsvol6: Think he'll be okay?

bluntfiend: I don't know. I hope so. Maybe. Probably.

lesbian_gengar: he'll be fine.

bluntfiend: Yeah, you're right.

Log from a private message between bluntfiend and polaricecraps

polaricecraps: blunt are you there

polaricecraps: blunt its real bad

bluntfiend: Hey, I wanted to talk to you.

polaricecraps: I think I know I killed someone

bluntfiend: Are you okay?

polaricecraps: I'm fine I killed someone I'm sorry Jude I was talking tough I killed a man

polaricecraps: I killed a Nazi and I feel dead and I don't know what to do

bluntfiend: Calm down. Tell me what happened. Please.

polaricecraps: i was att he protes tand I kept thinking of Dove and I was looking for a fight I think

bluntfiend: Near where you live?

polaricecraps: and he was tkaing a gun out of his pocket and I pakoosh

bluntfiend: Pakoosh?

polaricecraps: i made the heart disappear out of his body. i took it and oblierated it and you don't know but their lungs collapse, blunt, and I could feel it I think in my throat.

bluntfiend: And he had a gun? You saw it?

polaricecraps: it fell out of his pocket. i think he was gonna kill people. but what if he just wanted to scare someone am I a murderer blunt? don't ban me.

bluntfiend: I'm not going to ban you. You're not a murderer. Calm down.

polaricecraps: I murdered someone direction definition of murderer one who kills

bluntfiend: I think you did the right thing.

polaricecraps: yuore lying

bluntfiend: I'm worried, had I been there, I would have hesitated.

polaricecraps: blunt

bluntfiend: Want to hear a story, PIC? One the kids usually don't get to hear, I guess.

polaricecraps: what are you fuckin talkin about I killed someone and you wanna story

bluntfiend: When I left them, the art boys, I did kill them. I killed a whole swathe of them.

bluntfiend: Their body was static, and I broke it apart, and I pulled it through cords and wire.

polaricecraps: fuck blunt

bluntfiend: And I regret it everyday of my life. I think I did the right thing. I'd do it again, I think. But it's my sin. And I am sure, one day, I will be judged for it.

polaricecraps: like me

bluntfiend: Not like you. Nazis don't wave around guns unless they plan on using it. But, fuck.

bluntfiend: Remember this. I want you to always remember this.

bluntfiend: This is how it feels to take a life. It isn't one for another. It's not a system of trading. It doesn't make up for Dove. Nothing does. One Nazi is dead, and Dove is still gone.

polaricecraps: im sorry

bluntfiend: It's okay.

polaricecraps: are they gonna get me

bluntfiend: I don't know if the janitors are that good. It'll take them at least a day.

bluntfiend: We can get you away if you need to.

bluntfiend: There's always Kenowhere. You made sure it was always safe. Nobody there would turn you away.

polaricecraps: im scared of goin there and meetin him after this

bluntfiend: God, you never met Mr. Destiny in person, did you? You made him, but you never met him. That guy is like, he doesn't see things how we do. He likes to brag about the Sarkic thing, but he's not some kind of avenging angel.

bluntfiend: He just believes in you. He always believes in you.

polaricecraps: what do I do blunt

bluntfiend: You stay put, log off, chill out, and someone will be over right away.

polaricecraps: blunt?

bluntfiend: Yeah.

polaricecraps: can you tell harmpit sorry

bluntfiend: I will.

polaricecraps has logged off.

Archived Log from The Place You Learn What Sublingual Means

chereamie has entered the chat.

chereamie: hi. :3

hetcopogg: hey!!!

acuterobot: owo who's this

hetcopogg: she's the girl i said i was inviting. she just started figuring stuff out and she's way nice

chereamie: ^_^;; also I do magic.

hetcopogg: also she does magic.

chokerless: Can you make anime real?

chereamie: no? I don't think so. I never tried.

acuterobot: it'd be great if you could make homestuck real how about that.

chereamie: what's homestuck? o_o;

acuterobot: what the fuck.

chokerless: Owned.

chokerless: Cool to meet you anyway. What's your name? Im Gracidae.

chereamie: (´ω｀*) I haven't actually picked a name yet. I'm thinking uhh maybe lily or dove?

bluefootedboobies: trans girls love flowers and birds.......

bones: I think they are beautiful names. Hello, chereamie.

chereamie: thanks!!! who're you?

hetcopogg: bones isn't trans or anything, but it's like the mod of all the chats, sort of.

acuterobot: it's always sooooo good at multitasking and it's one of the reasons why i love it.

bones: Yes. You are also good at doing many tasks simultaneously.

acuterobot: :3c

chereamie: it's nice to meet all of you! the trans thing and the magic thing havent made getting a social life exactnyl easy (sweatdrop)

acuterobot: there's definitely a sweatdrop emoticon.

chokerless: literally what else is the ;

acuterobot: no it's crying. that's different from sweat.

bluefootedboobies: it's the same things yo

chereamie: it's contextual.

hetcopogg: most of the people here got those both going at the same time. you're with people who feel you now, dovelily.

acuterobot: relaxxxx! w3 und3rst4nd j00!!!

chereamie: is that homestuck?

acuterobot: i mean a little bit?

chokerless: So what do you do?

chereamie: healing ^_^;;;;;

bluefootedboobies: like the overwatch lady??

chereamie: no I guess I mostly use different ways.

chereamie: I go to clinics. I work at one. well, volunteer I guess. sometimes I take the disease out of people.

chereamie: I've always been able to do it. my grandma did. my mom. and I bet more before that but i don't remember.

chereamie: I think I'm best at it tho, probably.

hetcopogg: i love the false modesty over here.

chokerless: If you can do sweet shit, you should be fucking proud.

bluefootedboobies: honestly you shoul be careful tho. the janitors pay close attn when people suddenly stop being so sick all the time at every place you're @

chereamie: I'm not scared. I just wanna do as much as long as I can.

acuterobot: that's noble.

acuterobot: brave, even.

chereamie: it's just what i'm good at. ^_^;;

bones: It is admirable.

chereamie: thanks!

chereamie: I think I have to put good into things while I can.

hetcopogg: because it's what people should do.

chereamie: yeah! :3

acuterobot: okay cool but do you wanna hear about homestuck

chokerless: Are you seriously doing this already?

acuterobot: she's a total maid of life. maybe a witch of life.

chereamie: :O I wanna be a witch!

acuterobot: hell yeah well why don't i throw you some links and we'll see what your classpect is

hetcopogg: and the siren song takes another.... dun dun dunnnnn

chereamie: btw, you all can just call me Dove. i decided.

hetcopogg: it's beautiful!!!

bones: It is a good name, and I think it will do well for you.

chereamie: oh, shoot. i'll talk to you guys later.

chereamie: parent stuff!

chereamie: thanks for being so cool!

chereamie: bye!!!!

hetcopogg: have a good night, dove.

chokerless: Bye.

bones: It was lovely to meet you.

chereamie has left the chat.