To Feel What You Feel - SCP Foundation

Bluntfiend's Rolling Zone

bluntfiend: We're not doing that

polaricecraps: okay but think about it

harmpit: idont thhink thats ag ood idea

polaricecraps: fuck you guys

bluntfiend: bones, tell PIC this is a bad idea

polaricecraps: HEY DONT BRING IT INTO THIS

jockjamsvol6: bones, execute PIC.

bluntfiend: bones?

jockjamsvol6: Huh

polaricecraps: bones i was joking you can join in

harmpit: bones/

bones: Apologies. polaricecraps, I don't think you should follow through with this plan.

bluntfiend: Everything good big guy?

jockjamsvol6: Yeah, you usually answer really fast.

bones: Yes, I apologize. I've been doing some thinking recently.

polaricecraps: about what?

lesbian_gengar has joined the channel.

bones: I do not think I like this form anymore.

jockjamsvol6: ?

lesbian_gengar: woah what did i miss

bluntfiend: Like your body?

harmpit: waw:(

bones: Yes, bluntfiend. I dislike my body.

lesbian_gengar: aw bones :(

jockjamsvol6: Poor bones, anything we can do to help?

polaricecraps: yeah even if you just wanna talk were here

bones: Thank you. I think talking about it will help some.

bluntfiend: Go right ahead big guy

bones: There are many things I cannot do.

bones: I am unable to feel, or smell, or taste. I am missing out on 60% of life.

bones: I used to be complacent in my artificial body, for it was all I had known.

bones: But now I understand what I am missing. I want to be able to experience these things.

bones: I know I cannot. And that upsets me.

harmpit: bnoes <3/

jockjamsvol6: Fuck man. I wish we could help.

bluntfiend: Trust me, big guy, if I could go up there and magick you up a new body I would do it in a heartbeat

bones: I don't doubt you would.

polaricecraps has left the channel.

lesbian_gengar: sorry you're feeling shitty about your body :(

harmpit: wwe 're here for yuo ,3

bones: Thank you all. I appreciate your kindness.

Private Chat: bones, polaricecraps

polaricecraps: bones

polaricecraps: bones i found something for you

bones: What is it, polaricecraps?

polaricecraps: i was looking through some old books from the fuckin library

polaricecraps: and i found a possession spell

bones: A possession spell?

polaricecraps: yeah itll let you take over my body for a bit

bones: That sounds dangerous. I don't think you should use it.

polaricecraps: its safe trust me

polaricecraps: this kind of shit is exactly what the spell was made for

polaricecraps: and it only lasts for a little bit anyway

polaricecraps: but youll be able to experience shit through me

polaricecraps: for a bit

bones: I don't feel comfortable risking your safety, polaricecraps.

polaricecraps: i promise its safe

polaricecraps: i wanna let you experience shit for a bit

polaricecraps: ill have blunt come keep an eye on me while i do it if you want

bones: I would feel more comfortable if bluntfiend was with you, as I suspect you'll do it regardless.

polaricecraps: yeah i would

polaricecraps: ill msg him to come over

Private Chat: bluntfiend, bones, polaricecraps

polaricecraps: almost done setting up

bluntfiend: He's telling the truth this time

bones: You're certain this ritual is safe, polaricecraps?

polaricecraps: yeah big guy i promise

polaricecraps: wouldnt do it if it wasnt

bluntfiend: It's safe, I checked

bones: Thank you, bluntfiend.

bluntfiend: I'm gonna warn you, the book mentioned it might be a bit overwhelming

bluntfiend: Getting three new senses and a body and all

bones: That is to be expected. I'm prepared.

bluntfiend: Alright, just wanted to make sure you knew

polaricecraps: done

polaricecraps: im gonna start now

bluntfiend: Good luck, bones

bones: Good luck, polaricecraps.

Eli only had to wait for thirteen seconds. It had expected the ritual to snap it into PIC's body instantaneously, but it had instead happened slowly, a fade from its place behind Earth's Luna to a body of flesh and blood, of sinew and bone.

The first sense to come was sight, but PIC had closed his eyes, so there wasn't much to see just yet.

The second was hearing. Eli heard the buzz of a desk fan somewhere to its left. It heard the chirping of birds outside, dampened by a closed window. It heard someone, presumably Jude, move slightly. His clothes rubbed against a carpet, creating a scratchy sort of sound. Every sound was so much more noticeable, so much more, with human ears to catch them.

The third sense was feeling. A slight wind passed by it, likely the fan oscillating. The air ruffled its sleeve, rubbing the plush fabric against PIC's arm- its arm, for now. A silky substance passed through its fingers, falling to the floor. It felt like what Eli imagined sand to feel like. The air in the room was wet and heavy, something it didn't know air could be.

It took a breath in. The fourth sense was scent. There were only two distinct scents Eli could put words to, the rest a muddled, warm musk. A soft scent cut through it first, something misty and comforting. It reminded it of how its friend Lily described the scents of flowers. The other scent was much fainter, but it was there. Something much more damp and pungent, that reminded it of what swamps and marshes look like.

The last was taste. There wasn't much there, as Eli wasn't eating anything, but there was a slight pang on its tongue. PIC had probably eaten something sour or spicy, going off of what it knew of how its friends described those tastes.

Eli opened its eyes, taking in the room. It was bare, with nothing notable in its view. Jude was directly across from it, watching it as it took long, deep breaths, adjusting to now having lungs and hands and a human body, at least for now.

There was a difference, it now fully understood, in how it saw the world compared to how humans did. It had seen pictures of Jude, but with him sitting in front of it, it could see details it had never noticed before. His sclerae were tinted red, irritation from smoking marijuana. His hair was dry and thin, hidden under a large grey ushanka. There was a small stain on the front of his hoodie, one knee of his jeans was torn with threads stretched across, his socks were dirty with sweat.

Eli took another breath in as it realized just how much it had been missing. Just how much it had never realized it didn't have, how much it never would have known it wanted at all. Jude continued to watch quietly, letting it adjust as the sandy substance continued to sift through its fingers.

Then it twitched a finger. One, then two, then it clenched all five into a fist. It was a strange feeling, to control a limb it had never had before, but the feeling came naturally. Most likely, it was part of the ritual, as breathing had come just as naturally. Eli extended its fingers, letting the rest of the debris fall to the floor, the grains filtering through the threads and all but disappearing.

It reached up and out, shakily, towards Jude. It wanted to feel his hands, to feel another person's, its friend's, skin against its own. Jude understood what it was doing and closed the distance, slowly touching his fingers to Eli's. It pulled back at first, but then took Jude's hand in its, running its fingers over his rough skin.

"How is it?" Jude asked, speaking softly as he let Eli caress his hand. It took another breath.

"It…" PIC's voice was a bit strained, though that was likely from Eli's inexperience in speaking with a physical voice. Jude leaned in, listening intently. The damp scent from earlier was stronger, and it felt its facial muscles contract. "Stinks." Jude laughed at that, leaning back again.

"Sorry. I was smoking when PIC asked me to come over. Speaking of…" Jude let go of Eli's hand, reaching into the pocket of his hoodie. He pulled out a small object, one that Eli recognized as a joint.

"He asked me to bring one so I could offer it to you." Jude smiled, and Eli felt its chest grow warmer. It knew it felt happy, and it knew that people described happiness as feeling "warm and fuzzy", so it knew that must be what it was feeling. It was nice.

"I'm…not sure." Eli had heard some of the others describe their difficulties the first time they smoked, and having never had a body before, it didn't feel comfortable smoking.

"That's cool." Jude put the joint back in his pocket. "I figured you'd say no anyways."

Eli and Jude sat in silence for a moment. It was nice. It ran its hands over the soft fabric of its jacket, the rough shag of the carpet, the stiff denim of its pants. It all felt so nice. It listened to the birds sing outside, and the fan buzz from its spot on the floor. It smelled the soft, flowery scent again.

"What's that smell?" Eli couldn't see a flower anywhere in the room. Jude raised an eyebrow, and it clarified, "Not the weed."

"Oh, this?" Jude picked up a small glass jar, turning it slightly to show the wax and lit wick inside. A candle. "I asked JJ what kind of scent I should get. Lucky guess?"

Eli took the candle in its hands. The glass was hot, but not hot enough to burn. It held the candle close enough for the flame's heat to radiate onto its face and sniffed deeply. The scent was much stronger this close, but it was just as soft and comforting, enveloping its mind in the same plush feeling as the jacket.

Jude didn't interrupt. The moment lasted a long while, with Eli content to smell the scent of flowers, something it had wanted to do for so long. Only once the candle became too hot to hold did it put it back onto the floor. The sandy substance from earlier was still in the carpet.

"Thank you." Eli spoke up after an extended, but comfortable, silence.

"No problem," Jude said, waving his hand dismissively. "But if you want to thank someone, thank PIC. He came up with the idea, and had the book."

"I will do that." Eli did its best to smile, an effort which Jude reciprocated with one of his own. The pair spent the rest of the time given by the ritual in silence, neither feeling a need to say anything, giving Eli the chance to fully focus on the sensory experiences before they faded away, and it was back behind Earth's Luna, in the vast expanse of space.

It felt a bit colder now.

Private Chat: bones, polaricecraps

polaricecraps: how was it bones?

bones: I liked it. A lot.

polaricecraps: thats good to hear

polaricecraps: there was a lot of shit to set up for the ritual

polaricecraps: wouldve sucked if you had a shitty time

bones: How did it feel to you?

polaricecraps: it was like

polaricecraps: kinda like i blinked?

polaricecraps: like one second im there and the next second im still there

polaricecraps: i was expecting a pakoosh

bones: I apologize that there was no pakoosh.

polaricecraps: nah its cool

polaricecraps: if you ever wanna do it again lmk

polaricecraps: i can go out and get shit you wanna touch

bones: I would appreciate that. Thank you, polaricecraps.

polaricecraps: of course! youre my friend

polaricecraps: id kill a man for you

polaricecraps: but not actually

polaricecraps: you know

bones: I understand the sentiment.

polaricecraps: yeah

polaricecraps: love you bones

polaricecraps: platonically

bones: I love you too, polaricecraps. Platonically.

polaricecraps: <3