HOGSLICE Makes A Friend - SCP Foundation

Ew wtf. An Android?

WHO IS THIS?????

— HOGSLICE

Why were you on the Apple forums if you have an android?

THOSE FRUIT-EATING COCKSUCKERS NEED TO REALIZE THAT ROBOTS (ANDROIDS (COOL)) ARE BETTER THAN FRUIT (CAN BE AND HAVE BEEN CRUSHED BY MY FISTS)

— HOGSLICE

Why do you text like a maniac? What the hell is a hog slice?

Wait is it a pork chop

HOGSLICE IS MY NAME, DIPSHIT

— HOGSLICE

Ok "HOGSLICE" let's get to it. What are you into? You like ghosts?

GHOSTS ARE FAIRYTALES FOR DUMBFUCK ASS PUSSY CHILDREN TO MAKE THEM CRY. I DON'T CRY. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME MY DOG (BRUTUS) GOT STUNG BY A BEE.

— HOGSLIE

FUCK

— ***HOGSLICE

Yeah I hate ghosts too.

STOP COPYING ME

— HOGSLICE

INCIDENT REPORT

During the investigation into SCP-6599-1, the entity manifested at an abandoned warehouse in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Foundation surveillance cameras captured the following event.

TRANSCRIPT

(SCP-6599-1 paces back and forth around the empty room, growing visibly angry as the minutes pass.)

SCP-6599-1 WHERE ARE YOU BITCH?

(A clip from the United States of America's National Anthem begins to play from the entity's pocket. SCP-6599-1 removes its cellphone from its pocket, identified as a Huawei Ascend Y530, and begins to type on it)

The hell? How are you here?

HOW DO YOU SEE ME

— HOGSLICE

That's a pretty beard. You dye it yourself?

SCOOBY DOO ASS BULLSHIT FUCK YOU.

— HOGSLICE

lol

IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO ""LAUGH OUT LOUD"" WITH MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT. WHORE.

— HOGSLICE

you're a fiesty one

(SCP-6599-1 begins to destroy random pieces of scaffolding and empty wooden pallets.)

SCP-6599-1 FUCK!

Chill chill chilllllllll…

You see those pipes over there?

WHAT

— HOGSLICE

Walk to the corner on your left hand side. There are pipes there. They said you're soft.

YOU'RE SHITTING ME. THE ONLY PIPE THAT'LL BE LEFT IN HERE WILL BE THE ONE IN MY PANTS.

— HOGSLICE

(SCP-6599-1 approaches a section of exposed pipes. It begins to relentlessly punch the copper.)

SCP-6599-1 YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME! NO ONE'S BETTER THAN ME. I'M BETTER THAN ME.

(The pipes begin to warp in shape.)

SCP-6599-1 SHIT CLOWNS. ASS LICKERS.

(The pipes burst, firing high-temperature steam into the face of SCP-6599-1. The entity falls backward and begins to yell in pain as flesh drips from its face.)

SCP-6599-1 FUCK THIS!

(SCP-6599-1 demanifests.)

Wait where did you go?

FUCK YOU. YOU TRICKED ME. I NEED IBUPROFEN FROM CVS.

— HOGSLICE

Aw come on man I thought we had something.

NOT MY TYPE. I LIKE WOMEN

— HOGSLICE

I'M LITERALLY A WOMAN

Hello?

Hello?

Hi :)

Fuck you.

I'M A GHOST GIRL

—MADDSLICE

not bad

INCIDENT REPORT CONT.

Since the discovery of SCP-6764, it has been attributed to this event. There has been no change in behavior from SCP-6599 or SCP-6599-1, and no injuries are present on the latter due to the bursting pipes.