Paper Bag - SCP Foundation

December 22, 2019

15:22

"Wait-wait-wait, they're DATING?!"

"Well it's only been like a month, I think but uh, yeah? What, you jealous or something?"

"No, no, I'm just surprised she didn't tell me. Huh. Weird."

Avigail Sigal, Junior Researcher of the SCP Foundation and grown-ass woman, was reflecting on her life decisions in Site-48's cafeteria. Benny's words had slammed into her like a sledgehammer, and she had just barely managed to hide the bruises. It was stupid, ridiculous, like she was in high school again, hopelessly falling for girls far above her league. But she couldn't stop thinking about it.

'It', of course, referring to her good friend and the yearlong subject of her crush, Technician Dana Eyal, who was currently playing an intense game of Coup a few tables away from her. Also at that table was, of course, Inbar, Dana's apparently existent girlfriend. Avigail sucked in a few more sips of her comfort orange juice, twisting a bundle of her black curls around her finger. This was going to be a long day.

“That is strange, I thought you knew. Aren’t you pretty close?” Benny unintentionally brought the hammer down again. Her mental walls buckled.

“Yeah, at least I think so.” Avigail’s head continued to spin from the revelation. “She probably just forgot, she does that a lot.” She finished her glass. “Not dating, I mean - forgetting who she already told and who she didn’t- never mind. Point is, I highly doubt she was intentionally hiding this from me, that makes no sense whatsoever. We’re not living in a bad teenage drama, thank God.”

She stood up. “I need to get back to work. Catch you later…?”

“At the Karaoke Committee, of course. Six PM sharp!” He half-whispered genially.

Avigail rolled her eyes. “Sure, it’s bound to be at least somewhat funny. I’ll come.”

17:30

“I know what you’re planning, Vered.” Director Hiba Nasser struggled not to grin mischievously at the researcher before her desk. “Your request is denied.”

“Why?!” Vered wailed. “We have the funding, please I’m-”

“No is no.” Hiba handed the proposal back to Vered’s shaking hands. It was surprisingly difficult to tell how much of the researcher’s despair was an act and how much of it was genuine. Hiba settled on ‘heavily exaggerated truth’ as she leaned back in her chair and corrected her glasses. “And that’s final. Anything else?”

Vered sighed, accepting defeat. “Yes. As per usual, I need your signature to bring AO-77884 out of storage for Hanukkah," She gave the Director a thin booklet, already signed by Benny, the small Site's Containment Specialist. "And a meager sum of five hundred NIS for the procurement of appropriate Sufganyot1."

Hiba flipped through the pages, signing where appropriate. I really need an assistant, and I need them soon. The position of Assistant Director had been vacant ever since she'd left the post and became Director herself, a few months ago. That left a lot of the banal administrative work to her.

It did have its benefits occasionally. "I'll give you a thousand - but get all the fancy ones with the dark chocolate and extra candy. Keep the jelly Sufganyot percentage below 10%. That’s an order."

“Aye, Ma’am.” Vered gave Hiba an exaggerated salute and left her alone in her office. The Director glanced at the clock. 17:52. Smiling, she opened the live security feed from the breakroom on her terminal, and went to grab a cup of coffee.

17:40

Avigail watched the lab rats as they scurried through the small tunnel network of clear plastic, her work laptop open on a blank template in front of her. She was supposed to be noting down the emergence of nationalistic traits in the murine community, a result of eating an anomalous strain of cherry tomatoes pending SCP classification. Instead, she was thinking about Dana, her heart pounding.

She had met her on her first week at the Foundation when her laptop refused to connect to the intranet. Unsurprisingly, the problem was solved in less than twenty seconds. Still, it was enough to get her name and remember her face when she saw her again at lunch. They became fast friends. She the newbie who could barely get SCiPnet to work and Dana the engineer who knew what made every machine tick. It wasn’t long before Avigail realized she was in love.

And now it was too late. She had missed her chance, and would likely never get another. Envy and regret roiled and bubbled with each thought. Maybe it won’t work out, and you’ll be the One after all. They’ll break up, and you’ll- No. She reeled that stray thought back in. She was better than that, she couldn’t let herself devolve into cartoon villainy. Your own cowardice led you here. When were you planning to confess? Every personal deadline she had set had passed by her like leaves in a stream.

She tried to refocus on her work. Her notes came out erratic and half-baked, but it was better than nothing. At 17:55 she swapped shifts with the other Junior Researcher at the lab with a weak apology and left for the breakroom. She still wasn’t entirely sure what the Karaoke Committee actually was, but she figured it could at least serve as a welcome distraction from her mental prison.

18:00

Everything was small in Site-48, and the break room was no exception. It hosted little more than a handful of couches, two low tables, and a coffee machine. Currently, however, it also hosted the fourteen members of the Karaoke Committee alongside a number of curious observers, making it rather loud and cramped. Mercifully, neither Dana nor her newfound partner were present. Avigail had just made it over to where Benny was leaning on a wall when the chairwoman entered the room.

“I bring forth dire news.” Vered began, silencing the small crowd. She wore a dress shirt with a tie, standing out amongst the t-shirts and labcoats. “It appears we have a mole within our ranks.” A few people gasped dramatically, someone chuckled. The silence immediately broke again as conspiracies and accusations began to fly.

“What?! How?”

“That’s impossible!”

“It’s got to be Zeina, right? They’ve been friends for years!”

“I told you we should have been more selective-”

“It’s Vered! She’s trying to throw us off the scent-”

Benny raised his voice, trying to call out over the commotion. “Do you have proof?”

The chairwoman smiled, raising her hand, and the crowd obediently quieted down. “No, I’m just joking. If I’m allowed to be serious for a moment, she probably doesn’t want us to make the break room uninhabitable by anyone who doesn’t want to hear a terrible rendition of Wannabe every evening.”

Faces frowned, heads drooped, dreams shattered. “I’m sorry guys, we tried our absolute best.” Vered turned to face the wall-mounted television. “But the Director says the TV will stay speakerless. As chairwoman, I am therefore ordering the dissolution of this Committee and the redistribution of its assets. Goodnight. ”

With a flourish, the no-longer-chairwoman turned the way she had come. Silence broke again as people began to make their way out of the break room.

"She really enjoyed that, huh?" Avigail said to Benny when they entered the hallway, walking towards Benny's office.

"I can tell. That's why I've been playing along."

"Really? Not because you think it's funny?"

Benny winked. "Two birds, one stone."

"So, what do you say, she Senior Staff material?" Director Nasser's voice made both of them jump. She emerged from behind the corner with a serious expression. Her mass of brown curls was tied in a high ponytail instead of her usual bun.

Avigail's brain short-circuited. "I- um, uh, I don't think I'm really qualified to say?"

"No, you mostly certainly aren't, but I'm asking you regardless."

She glanced at Benny, her expression a plea for help. "I think she is." He said. "She's got the experience and the drive, proven herself a leader. I don't see why not."

The Director nodded sagely. "Avigail, do you have anything to add?"

God what is it with today- "Benny took the words right out of my mouth." She said helplessly.

"Very well, thank you both." Nasser broke into a brisk walk, passing them both. "Oh and do me a favor Benny," She called over her shoulder, "Grab the musical Hanukkiah2 from downstairs and put it in the cafeteria will you?"

She was gone before either of them could reply.

18:25

The encounter left Benny confused and Avigail strangely shaken, so the two friends split up. As he made his way down the elevator to the containment wing, he wondered what had gotten into his superior. In the few months of her Directorship, Hiba Nasser had established herself as a no-nonsense sort of boss who never skewed from standard Foundation protocol - the total opposite of her predecessor. Ambushing her employees for random advice was certainly not her modus operandi.

The elevator opened and he stepped out, waving to the guard at the security checkpoint. The guard waved back, and in a few minutes he was in Low-Risk Storage, scanning the floor-to-ceiling rows of metal lockers for AO-77884. He found it easily, pressed his keycard to the electric lock and took out the item within - an ornate brass Hanukkiah.

Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" began playing the moment his fingers touched the object. In a stroke of perfect timing, the song ended right as he neatly put it in its place in the cafeteria.

Anomalous Object #77884 (AO-77884)

Item Description: A Hanukkiah made of brass and copper. When touched by a living creature, the item will begin to play a random song whose lyrics contain the word "fire" at least once. The sound appears to emanate from its center of mass. Songs appear to be of any language, time period, or popularity, ranging from hymns in Ancient Adytite to modern pop.

Date of Recovery: 28-11-2002

Location of Recovery: Yavne, Israel.

Current Status: Stored at Site-48. Used for recreational purposes by Site personnel.

20:33

Night crept lazily on Site-48, the corridors growing quiet as most employees finished their duties for the day and left by car towards home. As part of the minority living on-Site, Avigail always had a little more free time on her hands. She lay in bed, trying to concentrate on her book. Every few paragraphs her mind would drift and she would find herself thinking of Dana again. She was stuck in a mental loop, the same train of thought passing through the same stations again and again.

She sighed, closing the book. She glanced at her closed laptop, thinking of what to do. Eventually, she got up, grabbed her keys and coat, and left her personal quarters. She was planning to go upstairs to get some fresh air, maybe see the stars if the sky was clear, but her eyes passed over Dana’s own quarters and lingered there. Tentatively, she walked towards it, raising her hand to knock…

But what was she going to say? Hey, why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend? Just straight up and out of the blue? Her brain ran simulations of the conversation she knew would be wrong. She’s probably in there with Inbar right now, you know. She felt tears form behind her eyes. “Why…” She whispered. “Why her, and not-”

“Avigail?” Nasser’s voice made her physically jump, and she turned around rapidly. “Everything alright?”

“Uh-yeah! I’m fine.” She looked at the Director quizzically. She appeared to have come from the elevator, which explained why she hadn’t seen anything coming from the door of the Director’s Suite, on the other side of the circular room. “What’re you doing here so late?” She asked, emphasizing the ‘you’.

“I forgot my car keys. Besides, it’s only half past eight.” She added, glancing at her wristwatch. ”Are you sure you’re alright? You seem troubled.” Nasser pressed.

“Yeah-no, everything’s fine!” She said. “Wait, your car keys? You’re going?” Avigail couldn’t remember the last time Nasser had left the Site. She wasn’t sure she ever had, at least after she became Director.

The other woman raised an eyebrow and smiled. “I’ll tell you if you tell me what’s going on.”

Avigail groaned. “Fine.” She knew she could refuse, but realized that somewhere deep inside, she did want to talk about it with someone. She definitely didn’t expect her boss to be that someone, though. “But please don’t share this with anyone else.”

“My lips are sealed. Shall we?” Nasser gestured at the Director’s Suite. Avigail followed her inside.

They sat across from one another around a small table. Desert nights are cold, so while the heating turned on Nasser drank some type of tea Avigail didn’t recognize while she sipped hot chocolate. The Director’s Suite had couches and even a large sofa, but they reminded her too much of therapy to sit comfortably in. She was still very confused about Nasser’s sudden curiosity regarding her personal life.

“For how long?” Nasser asked.

“A year. Almost two now, actually.” She watched the other woman’s eyes widen slightly. “Yeah I know. It’s a lot.”

“Wow. That must be… heavy.”

“You have no idea. It’s just- I have all these emotions inside me. Sadness, despair, but above all frustration. At my past self, but also at the entire situation. There’s nothing I can do but think about it, and that’s leading me nowhere.” There was a strange clarity in putting it all into words, in saying it out loud.

“I understand.” Said Nasser simply.

“You do?” It was a silly question, of course. The Director never said anything she didn’t mean.

“I’ve had my fair share of one-sided affections. Not at that level, I’m afraid, but I can imagine.” Avigail suddenly realized she didn’t know if Nasser had a spouse at all. She just assumed she did, like the rest of the Site’s senior staff.

“Well, you got any tips?” She asked, trying to inject a small laugh into the words. It came off sad.

“Yes, actually. I like to put my feelings down in writing, it helps me keep them organized. You can do something similar - find something to channel all those emotions into. Art, maybe. You don’t want to keep it inside.”

Avigail nodded. At the intellectual level, she knew Nasser was right. But there was something different about it when she heard it directly. It made more sense somehow.

“That’s a good idea.” She took a moment to drink from her glass. “Now, can you tell me what’s going on with you?”

Nasser chuckled. “I’m,” She paused for dramatic effect. “Going on vacation.”

December 16, 2019

Six days earlier

Hiba Nasser was so stressed she was almost shaking. “Are you sure you can handle it? Absolutely certain? Because if there’s anything you think you’re not up to, anything you’re worried about-”

“I’m worried about you.” Interrupted Dr. Zeina Hakim. She was probably the only person at Site-48 who could interrupt the Director at all. “I’ve been here as long as you have - a little longer, even. I can handle being Acting Director for a week.”

Hiba practically fell on Zeina. She hugged her friend tightly, nearly entering squeezing territory.

“You’ve been burning yourself out, Hiba. You need rest. And you’ve more than earned it.” Zeina said softly.

“Thank you.” Hiba whispered. “Thank you so much.” She was crying, she realized. Crying tears of relief. “I’ll put in the Clearance upgrade request-”

“Tomorrow.” Said Zeina.

“Tomorrow.” She agreed.

“Oh!” Avigail exclaimed. “Have fun!”

“Thank you. I’m going to see my family in Haifa. It’s been far too long. Ever since I became Director, I’ve been so swamped. I thought I knew the extent of Gadol’s neglect, but my God was I wrong.” Hordus Gadol was the previous Site Director. Nasser had been his assistant for nearly twenty years. “And combined with the whole D-Class thing, I just couldn’t breathe. But I’ve done it. I’m taking a break.”

“A well-deserved one, if you ask me.” Avigail raised her cup. “To freedom?”

Nasser smiled, contemplating the irony of that statement said in a Foundation facility. She raised her own glass and let the satisfying clank fill the air.

23:46

For the second time this evening, Avigail found herself lying in bed. She was still thinking of Dana, but she was also thinking of what the Director had said. She would almost be at Haifa, now. Her Bluetooth speaker was playing Fiona Apple’s “Paper Bag”.

“-find something to channel all those emotions into. Art, maybe.”

“-one-way affection-”

An idea flashed in her head. With a sudden burst of inspiration, she jumped out of bed and took out a notebook and pencil from her bedside drawers. She paused the song, the melody repeating in her head, and began to write. The words flowed smoothly, pausing briefly only to think of the right rhymes. When she was done, she let herself drift off to her sleep. She was still frustrated. Still sad, still angry, still disappointed. But the feeling was bittersweet in a way now.

She thought it was because now, she also felt a little proud.

I’m trapped in a room, steel below and above

Blank white nothing as far as I can see

There’s a chain ‘round my neck and it’s made of love

Oh why can’t it just let me be

It’s the type of love that makes me cry at night

It’s the sort of love with no future in sight

A kind of love that goes only one direction

It’s a tragedy of one-way affection

The type of love that runs my thoughts round and round

In never-ending circles, Oh I’m mentally bound

It’s the type of love that simply cannot be

And it hurts and it aches and it tears right through me

Oh why did I have to fall for you

Now there’s nothing for me to do

‘Cause you’ve already found someone of your own

And I’m tied up in this room, shackled and alone

I wish I could let go, with all of my heart

Heaven knows, it’s tearing me apart

But I can’t just stop the way I feel

So I’m stuck between these slabs of steel

There’s a chain ‘round my neck and it’s made out of love

Impossible love

Footnotes

1. A type of deep-fried doughnuts traditionally eaten during the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah.

2. A nine-branched candelabrum lit during Hanukkah.