Kens' Festive Stories - SCP Foundation

This page is a collection of the many festive works that I, DrKens, have written over the seasons. I aim to add on more as I write them. Enjoy, and try not to take them too seriously.

Happy holidays!

Table of Contents:

Festive Cheer #1: The Mann Who Stole Christmas: A Children's Story

Festive Cheer #2: 12 Days of SCP

Festive Cheer #1

Festive Cheer #2

The Mann Who Stole Christmas: A Children's Story

All hail Christmas Eve, the most wondrous of times,

Full of roasts and of toasts and the most festive of rhymes.

With some fresh eggnog and toddy,

And cocoa for mommy,

A Christmas like this is not shoddy.

But one Christmas Day almost didn’t come clear

When a Mann of great horrors came to spread fear.

A scalpel and grin,

And a swig of some gin,

Was all that was known of this demon of sin.

Who knew where he’d strike, that merciless fiend,

for naught but fair Chance could help intervene.

The good ole Foundation,

with much radiation,

Did try but found only frustration.

So who was to save Christmas, that season of wonder,

Since those who had tried were all torn asunder?

The famed GoC?

Or maybe MC&D?

The world held its breath at who it could be.

Then the deadliest Moose with their antlers of flame

came charging on in to change up Doc Mann’s game.

With a neigh and a kick,

Right into Mann’s dick,

Moose brought down the surgeon right quick.

And so Christmas was saved, with a kick to the nuts.

The peasants so happy leapt out of their huts.

They crowned the sweet Moose,

with freshly whipped mousse,

and feasted like kings on great goose.

So all hail the great Moose, lest you find their quick ire,

for if they’re not praised, you’ll die in a fire.

Or maybe by crushing,

perhaps even flushing,

but it’s best to just leave them a-blushing.

12 Days of SCP

On the first day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Another round of keter duty.

On the second day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Two cups of Joe and another round of keter duty.

On the third day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the fourth day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Four lazy guards, three new class-d’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the fifth day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Five MTFs!!!!!! Four lazy guards, three new class-d’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the sixth day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Six floating eyepods, five MTFs…! Four lazy guards, three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the seventh day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Seven creepy crawlies, six floating eyepods, five MTFs! Four lazy guards, three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the eighth day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Eight pufferkittens, seven creepy crawlies, six floating eyepods, five MTFs! Four lazy guards, three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the ninth day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Nine apple seeds, eight pufferkittens, seven creepy crawlies, six floating eyepods, five MTFs! Four lazy guards, three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the tenth day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Ten clever prankings, nine apple seeds, eight pufferkittens, seven creepy crawlies, six floating eyepods, five MTFs! Four lazy guards, three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Eleven cauterpillars, ten clever prankings, nine apple seeds, eight pufferkittens, seven creepy crawlies, six floating eyepods, five MTFs! Four lazy guards, three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.

On the twelfth day of Christmas the O5 gave to me…

Twelve days of headaches, eleven cauterpillars, ten clever prankings, nine apple seeds, eight pufferkittens, seven creepy crawlies, six floating eyepods, five MTFs! Four lazy guards, three new class-D’s, two cups of Joe, and another round of keter duty.