?-!-!-?-!-?-?-? - SCP Foundation

Interview log ████KO-AXX-5

Interview date: 02/10/2020

Interviewer: Researcher Hariuchi Eido

Interviewee: James "Bestway" James

Information: Mr James was rescued from an illegal nursing home in Indianapolis run by SCP-████-KO. No identification was available except for a name tag hanging on the bed. The subject actively attempted to communicate, but nobody in the Foundation was able to understand him. Written conversation was impossible, as both of his arms were cut off by SCP-████-KO long time ago.

<Start of log>

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Nice to meet you. Shall we talk?

James:

— Mmph?!!!!??! Mmph?!!??!?! Hmm?!!!??!! Hm??!?!!!?

Researcher Hariuchi:

— (Whispering into the radio) Is this even a real language? It doesn't have any consonants.

Dr Aktus:

— (On the radio) That's why we called you. Do something.

James:

— Hmm?!!!?!!! Hmm?!!?!??? Mmph?!!????! Hmm?!!!?!?? Hm??!!!!!!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— (To himself, on radio) Jesus fucking Christ. Okay, Mr James, I don't know what's wrong… You know what gestures are, right? (Nods his head slowly, than fast) Can you do this?

James:

— (Nodding) Mmph?!!!!??! Mmph?!!??!?! Hmm?!!!??!! Hm??!????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— That's better. Mr James, I ask you to answer yes or no with your head, do you understand?

James:

— (Nodding) Mmph?!!!!??! Mmph?!!??!?! Hmm?!!!??!! Hm??!????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Mr James, you can just nod.

James:

— (Shakes head vigorously) Hmm?!!?!!!? Mmph?!!?!!!! Hm??!????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Haaa… I understand. I'll not care what you do as long as you move your head. Now, James, I'll need to know more about your identity so that I could have a better clue as to what you are saying. Do you get me?

James:

— (Nods head) Mmph?!!?!!!! Hmm?!!?!?!! Hm??!?!!!?

<Approx. 8 hours later>

Researcher Hariuchi:

— (Exhausted) Veeeeery well, Mr James. We've come a long way. We now know that you are a U.S. citizen, a resident near the hospital, came here after your retirement as seen in the chart, but not voluntarily, a sane person and have received formal education. Is that correct?

James:

— (Nods head vigorously, almost crying.) Mmph?!?!!??! Mmph?!???!?! Mmph?!?????! Hm??!????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Now… Is there anything more to know from a yes or no question… Hmm…

James:

— (Catching breath, exhausted.)

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Aagh…Huh? Mr James, you said you received a formal education, right?

James:

— (Nodding) Mmph?!!!!??! Mmph?!!??!?! Hmm?!!!??!! Hm??!????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Do you speak English?

James:

— (Nodding) Mmph?!!!!??! Mmph?!!??!?! Hmm?!!!??!! Hm??!????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— ????

James:

— (Blinking, struggling to get himself understood.)

Researcher Hariuchi:

— … (Unsure) …A?

James:

— Mmph?!?????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— (Pulls out phone, searches something.) …B?

James:

— Hmm?!????!?

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Question mark?

James:

— Hm??!!!!!!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— Exclamation mark?

James:

— Hm??!????!

Researcher Hariuchi:

— (Screaming) WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE BINARY?? IT'S NOT EVEN MORSE!!

James:

— Hmm?!!?!??? (Expression of happiness and relief.)

<Omitted>

Notes: James was found out to have worked as a computer programmer since the 60s. His tongue seemed fine but was actually fixed to his jaw, rendering him unable of normal speech.