Capitalism, A love story - SCP Foundation

Prismal

More by Prismal

It was a slow day at the local Greazeburger, and the cashier (insofar as she could be called a cashier) was bored out of her mind. Not that it was any better when it was busy, of course. The customers were more annoying than entertaining, though at least it was what she was there for right? Well, technically she was there to spy on Greazeburger, but she still had to work for a living. Couldn't go getting fired from the place you were supposed to spy on, she'd lose both of her jobs at once! That sort of thing would get her motivated to get to work, if there was any work to do. But for the moment there was nothing. She didn't even have any coworkers up front with her to mindlessly chat the day away with.

She did, however, have her secret Foundation issued cell phone. Cracked screen, shitty battery life, but at least she could browse the web and play games on the thing. She risked a glance at the All Seeing Eye and then walked into it's blindspot, at which point she bent down for a moment to browse Void. But just as she was getting into an uncomfortable squatting position to exist out of view of potential customers she heard the unmistakable groan of an Undread Customer and sprang up like a rusty spring, a dead look in her eyes.

"Welcome to Greazeburger Earth," she said automatically "Would you like to make an order?"

The customers didn't actually need Katie's input, they ordered and paid through the patented Greazeburger Expo Screen. Katie existed only to help the customers too braindead to work modern technology, which is to say most of them. Still, Katie would occasionally get a few geniuses smart enough to paw at the screen and read with their own two eyes, at which point she might be able to sneak back to doing something actually worthwhile with her semblance of a life, such as browsing Void or literally anything else. As she raised her eyes she really hoped this moron was one of the latter.

Until she saw her.

Eyes to bow the allseeing, hair hotter than the fire of the hell fryers, nails trimmed to regulation perfection. And those lips… those teeth… Katie could imagine this customer taking a bite out of a Clinton's Double Deluxe Burger, drooling at the prospect of more, and she shuddered.

This wasn't the usual fare of greazy fleshsack. Katie couldn't keep her eyes off of her. She felt a heat in her belly that she hadn't in quite some time.

A hunger, but not for greaze.

The customer looked up from the tablet, and met the soulless eyes of the clone before her.

"Hey", she smiled sweetly, "Can I place an order?"

Greazy sweat popped out of the back of Katie's neck. The heat in her heart cavity increased, as did the warmth in her face, as she approached the girl.

"W-well," said Katie, tapping the membrane before them, shoulder to shoulder. "If you tap here you can take a look at the menu and then-" the woman bent forward to take a better look at the device, her implausibly patterned chemise exposing cleavage to Katie's wandering eyes as she did.

During Katie's stunned silence the woman scrolled through the myriad of options offered by Greazeburger Inc™: Greazeburger, Greazefries, Liquid Greaze, Greazza, and much more! All for low low prices.

Katie's eyes could not tear themselves away from the pristine face that glazed upon the Device, though she should have held her gaze only to the Device to better serve the will of the customer. But she could not help herself from thinking of other things that food, other sins than gluttony.

"Is greaze all that there is on the menu?"

A stirring was heard in the kitchen, an eye peaking out of the door, too old, it's color and form drooping like a runny egg. Katie turned on her Exemplary Customer Service Voice ™ and a voice like radio static emerged from the recesses of her voicebox.

"Here at Greazeburger Earth you can have anything your heart desires! greaze peaza, frozen greaze latte, even greaze pie or greazecake! I personally recommend the Mr. Greazeburger, it's greazetaztic!" Katie recited, a puppet on the strings of capitalism.

Content at the sacrifice at its altar, the beast retreated whence it came.

"…Huh. said the queen customer "Never heard of that before. Is this new?"

Oh the horror of this question, the great depression in Katie's soul. How could she not know? And how to teach a non-believer? How could she tell her that Greazeburger had been around since the dawn of time? Before it even! How could she tell her of the life and trials of their founder Ebeneezer Greaze? So much to tell her, so much to teach her, if only Katie had the time… and Katie wanted the time, but unfortunately treacherous tongue trepidated all too soon.

"Haha yeah."

Noooooooooooo. Oh how she cringed as a sweat vein burst along the Z of Katie's spine. Oh and so

close to the customer too. She must be able to tell.

She spared a look at the clientelle, who was busy selecting between a burger and an unspeakable horror. Took in her clear face, eyes burning with life and passion, took in her outfit, implausibly patterned and low cut. No, this woman was no normal customer, she was simply bursting with life, not one destined for the death and decay of the fast food assembly line.

She watched as the Name was input onto the system to be beamed directly into her brain.

"SOFIA HAUGEN, Sports Correspondent (Unofficial) "

A name which Katie recognized, a name which sent a shiver down Katie's zpine. Sofia Haugen, aka ⁂judgmentgay was one of the few people she followed on Void. A "sports journalist" (for some definition of sports and some definition of journalism) whose every word Katie held on to. Sofia had such a way with words, with reporting, putting herself smack dab in the middle of things, Katie had never seen anything quite like it. There was a reason that account had a few thousand followers, though the cute selfies certainly helped.

Through the shellshock, Katie still mouthed the words "Okay Sofia, your order should be ready in about 20 minutes, and we'll [psiblast] you when it is." But Sofia was already posing for a cute selfie, leaning next to the Greazeburger sign and flashing a peace sign with her tongue out.

This, of course, only served to make Katie more nervous. This wasn't just any old customer after all, this was an influencer and one Katie actually liked to boot. Not since the visit by [name] had a celebrity graced Greazeburger with their presence. The mysterious deaths of the last several Waldon Studio reviewers had they received any visitors. Of course it wasn't Katie's fault they tried to order after hours, and the Company did save some money on greaznake food, still she was [encouraged] for this time to be different. Maybe she should say something to keep her away from the back… just in case.

Fortunately Sofia hadn't left the area, still snapping pictures every which way in her signature style. Katie tried to get her attention, feeble though her voice was in the torrent of the Void hums.

"Um" she said

"Um" she said again, louder, over the hums "Sofia?"

"Yes?" said Sophia, hitting Katie with the full force of her beauty.

Katie's brain short circuited.

"You look good enough to eat." said Katie

…

Why the hell would she say that, aaaaaaaaaaaa. oh no oh no oh no oh no. That didn't come out sounding right at all she was just trying to warn her about the beast so she didn't get eaten and now she had just, what, threatened her? oh no oh no! She would be fired for this, surely certainly, from Greazeburger, from the Foundation, probably from a fucking canon for good measure! And this woman would hate her of course, she'd be grossed out how could she not be and

"Haha, well thank you, you're not bad looking yourself." said Sofia, lowering her sunglasses and giving a flirtatious wink.

What? Surely Katie had misheard, misunderstood. Her? not… bad looking? her with her ugly neon brown shirt and her half-priced fried jeans? her messy hair and ungroomed face? She looked more some goblin than a human, how could anyone think she looked presentable! And that smell… bleh, oh god she was noticing more things too now, worse things. She began to panic.

"No, no, haha" said Katie her face fully ablush "I uh, I didn't mean… I just meant I didn't want you getting uh.. eaten by a monster… or anything.. ha. um."

Seeing the fast food worker freak out Sofia's mouth curled further upwards, and she gave another angled wink.

"Well, I did mean it," she glanced at the worker's nametag, prominently displayed over her breast, her eyes lingering perhaps a little too long in that general area."Katie, is it?"

"Um, yes ma'am. Katie Theta"

Katie cringed. There was no reason to give that designation to some random customer.

"Well, very nice to meet you Katie."

"You too," Katie speedily replied quickly blurting out "I follow your Void account."

"Oh?" said Sofia, a tad too knowingly.

"Yeah, I read all your sports articles." said Katie

"Oh yeah? what's your favorite sport?"

Katie didn't know.

Katie had never played a sport, unlike many who had a childhood sport. She hadn't had a childhood, for she was grown in a vat… or something, she wasn't entirely sure how clones were made, especially accidental clones. She just knew that she'd popped out amnesiac as an adult, and she'd failed to live up to the only person who could be called her mother. She was a failure, abject, absolute. That's why she was here, working in fastfood instead of in a labratory, while her sisters shone brightly like stars.

She couldn't even remember the name of a sport right now, faced with this pretty woman. Why was she bothering, honestly, what could she possibly get out of this, talking to Sofia like this, pretended she had a chance in the world of coming off as more than she was. All she was was this, Greazeburger, and her failures.

"I like Greazeball." Katie said, sadly.

Then, suddenly, the food came out, much earlier than expected. Katie quickly handed the Horror to it's rightful owner, the conversation ended like a story closed too soon. Her business concluded, Sofia Haugen would soon exit her life as soon as she entered it.

"I've never heard of Greazeball." Said Sofia, who had heard of every sport from ankhknuckle to ziiddlyjinks, in hopes of elaboration.

"I'm sorry, I have to get back to work." Katie said turning away.

Katie would just drag her down.The two of them? Her and she? Customer and Katie? Well it was just not meant to be. Or so she thought. Katie felt a tap on her shoulder, passing the part between two counters.

"Here" said Sofia, handing her a defunct currency, crumpled and half-folded "A tip. See you again soon." Winking, she sauntered away to consume her spoils.

Katie grabbed the greazedollarpon and looked at it a moment, staring into the eyes of Founder Ebeneezer Greaze, before noticing there was something different about it. a 10 digit number, and a winky emoji typeset on the paper, somehow.

Katie looked at the number a moment. A whole nother world, a wonderful what if where they could be together, where she could be with someone, anyone. Maybe she wouldn't be so lonely. Maybe she didn't need to be. She could call it, or text. Tell her about the Greazeball.

As she stepped aside to return to her station, she tripped and touched the greaze trap, coating herself and the note immediately with greaze, destroying the note and the warm memory of its contents immediately.

A reminder that no matter how many forms it took, greaze was all that was on the menu.

This was originally written for RomCon. Sofia Haugen was created by ch00bakka. Be sure to check out their piece for RomCon here!