Property Values - SCP Foundation

I'm real sorry about all of this.

I knew we was in trouble soon as Barnes shot yer daughter.

Oh, hey, quit cryin', she'll be fine. He's a lousy shot.

Anyway, I'm real sorry about yer dog. I mean, it did bite my leg, but I guess it wouldn't've done that if I hadn't been beatin' you with that lamp. Hey, good news there. Lamp still works. Little duct tape, it'll be good as new.

Those ropes too tight? Sorry. I'd loosen 'em, but we don't want you gettin' loose an' tryin' to escape. There's been enough screw-ups tonight, don't you think?

Guy you should be pissed at is your neighbor. Fucker switched the house numbers. Must've known we was on to him.

You wanna know what this is about? Eh, what the hell. Ain't like you'll remember any of this tomorrow.

See, a few months ago, there were some murders. Yeah, you read about 'em. Skinned alive. That's a bunch of bullshit, right there. You ever skin somebody alive? They wriggle everywhere.

Oh, now look what you done. Never throw up when yer gagged. Here, lemme clear yer mouth. Now, you scream, we're gonna have to break another finger. Okay, there you go. That's good, right in the bucket. And now the gag goes back on, an' you still got eight good fingers. See how that works? An' just kiddin' about the finger. I'd've just shoved the gag back on. You've suffered enough, y'know?

So, where was I? Oh yeah, skinnin' people alive. Hard as hell. That bit was made up by the papers. Sounds a hell of a lot more exciting. Nah, he cut their throats first, then skinned 'em. Anyway, twenty years back, there was another case kinda like this, back east. There's a few folks who've talked about it, but they don't think there's a connection, on account the guy there was caught. But check this out: The fucker said he needed to eat the skin to live. How does he end up dyin'? Malnutrition, even though he gets three meals a day.

So, we look into it, an' the guy had a kid, who moved out here. Yeah, yer neighbor. So, we come in, do some checkin' up, an' once we did, it came pretty clear he did it. Unfortunately, looks like he got wind of us, an' skipped out, with a last little screw you in the bargain. So, we got guys tearin' up his place to figure out where he went. Oh, we'll find him, don't worry. He's sloppy. He'll screw up eventually.

Anyway, get comfy. We got someone comin' here who's gonna make you forget everythin' that happened. Tomorrow mornin', this'll seem like it was just a botched robbery. We'll even set you up t'look like a hero, saved yer family. How's that?

By the way, how's rent around here? Seems like a nice neighborhood.