A Nice Waffle Dinner - SCP Foundation

I've never really liked waffle houses. Far too cheap, with a shoddy crowd at best. The food isn't that great either, especially not for this time of day. In my opinion, the idea of eating waffles as anything other than a light snack should be considered criminal. These were the thoughts that filled my head as I stood on a hill overlooking a waffle house restaurant surrounded by four dozen or so MTF field agents, taking a small swig from my flask.

Why the security, you might ask? Well, it's not that the waffle house itself is an anomaly—far from it. This place is as plain as it gets. The food is unremarkable, and you could strip the whole place to the last floor board without finding even a hair out of the ordinary. I scanned the interior of the building, only one man was seated. It was the lone person eating waffles at 1:34 am in the morning who had warranted such a response.

I turned to the captain standing next to me, looking at the computer screen he held, which displayed camera footage focused on the man. Just like all the other reports had described, the man wore a long black coat with a black bowler hat that shadowed his face. Not that we would have found anything there, though. If catching this guy was as easy as getting a clear look at his face, I would probably be out of a job. Unluckily for the Foundation, and luckily for my career, this guy was a ghost. I believed he was an urban legend myself until he broke into the site I was working at and nearly blew my head off a decade or so ago. I got a good look at his face, and I'd be lying if I said I could describe a single thing about it.

No matter. I signaled to the agents in my peripheral to take their positions. That was the past. I nodded towards the captain. He had no way out of this one. Either he would come into Foundation custody, or he wouldn't live to finish his waffles. This cat-and-mouse game that had lasted for a decade would be coming to an end tonight.

Fixing my weapon onto my belt and adjusting my earpiece, I took a deep breath before making my way to the entrance of the establishment. As I arrived at the front door, I scanned the surrounding area. Even though I couldn't see them, I knew there were dozens of men with their weapons ready in case anything happened. I smiled. I had won. I pushed open the door, hearing the light ringing of a bell as it closed behind me. The waiter, lazily looking at her phone, didn't even bother to look up and merely gestured vaguely in the direction of the tables as I passed by. Talk about bad service.

I moved slowly, methodically, toward the last table, my hand resting on my firearm. Each step feeling heavier than the last. As I approached, I finally saw him: Nobody, casually eating a waffle on his own in a dimly lit corner.

He looked up at my arrival and gestured to the seat in front of him. "I wasn't expecting company," he said, taking another bite of his waffle. "Come sit. The food here is immaculate. I recommend—"

"Nobody, you are under arrest for multiple crimes against the Foundation and the anomalous world," I interjected before he could continue, pointing my gun directly at his face. "You may come willingly or be extracted by force."

"You know it's rude to interrupt someone speaking," Nobody said, his tone conversational, as if I had interrupted him talking over dinner. "Especially when you interrupt a man's dinner."

"I repea—" I began before being cut off myself.

"Yes, yes, I heard you the first time." He took another bite from the half-eaten waffle on his plate. "I'll come outside with you after I finish this waffle here, so," he began cutting a piece of the waffle with his knife, "take a seat while I do so. I'd rather not be stood over while eating."

I slowly approached the booth he was seated in, keeping my gun trained on him the entire time as I took a seat opposite him. There was really no harm in his proposal, and there was nothing he could do either.

He looked up, being met with the barrel of my gun. "Put that down, won't you?" he said, about to eat another bite. "You have this place surrounded by MTF, don't you?"

"How did you—" My grip tightened.

"Relax." He nonchalantly replied, "You're not that stupid, Frank. I know you well enough to know that you'd only come in here if you had support."

I lowered my gun just slightly before speaking. "Which is why you will be coming with me into Foundation custody."

"Right after I finish this waffle."

We sat in silence for a few moments as he continued eating. Nobody seemed completely at ease, as if we were just two old friends sharing a meal.

"So," Nobody began, taking a sip of his coffee, "how have you been, Frank?"

"Cut the small talk. You're coming with me."

"The wife?"

"I don't have a wife." I curtly reply.

"The business?"

"I work for the Foundation, you know that." Agitiation rose in my voice.

He sighed, setting his fork down. "You're hard to talk to Frank."

"You'll have lots of time to talk on-" I was interrupted.

"You know, I've been thinking a lot lately. Getting old, you start to reflect on things." Nobody mused.

I steadied my gun back on him, unsure where he was going.

"I'm serious," Nobody said, looking me in the eye. "I've been around a long time, Frank. Seen and done things you wouldn't believe. And it's getting to be a bit much, very tiring."

"Spare me the sob story," was my curt reply.

He chuckled. "It's not a sob story. It's a proposition." He placed down his coffee. "I'm looking for someone to take over. Someone to become the next me."

"What?" I asked, my eyebrows shooting up.

"I'm serious," Nobody continued, his expression sincere. "I need someone to carry on my work, to step into my shoes. And I've been watching you for a long time. You have potential, Frank."

"Why me?" I asked, skeptical.

"Because you understand the game," Nobody replied. "You've been chasing me for years. You know how I think. You're resourceful, determined, and, frankly, you're tired of the same old routine. Aren't you?"

"I am quite tired of that routine, but that's ending tonight when I finally bring you in." Does he seriously think I would betray the Foundation? I scoffed. "And anyway, there's no way I'd do anything with you."

He sighed at my response before wiping some sauce off his face with a napkin. "Frank I know this sounds crazy, but think about it. What has the Foundation given you? Endless missions, constant danger, and no appreciation. I’m offering you something different. Something more."

I shook my head, disbelief etched on my face. "You think you can just waltz in here, eat your waffle, and convince me to join you? It's absurd."

Nobody leaned forward, his eyes intense. "Is it? You've spent years chasing me, trying to understand me. Don't you ever wonder what it's all for?"

"I know what it's for," I shot back, though his words made me pause. "It's for protecting the world from people like you."

"People like me?" He chuckled. "Frank, the Foundation uses people like you, just as they use people like me. We're both tools in their grand scheme. But you… you have the potential to be more."

My grip on my gun tightened. "I won't betray the Foundation."

"Are you sure?" Nobody's voice softened. "Think about everything you've sacrificed. Your time, your relationships, your sanity. All for what? A cause that sees you as expendable?"

"Shut up," I muttered.

"Anyways," he suddenly lost all the intensity and conviction he had moments before and returned his attention to his waffles, "the process isn't voluntary anyway."

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"The process of becoming a Nobody, of course," he said casually. "You think I wanted to forget who I was and become this… thing? Of course not."

"Whatever you think you're doing, stop."

Nobody remained calm, picking at another piece of waffle. "Oh, Frank, you misunderstand. The reason I let myself get tracked down was to meet you. To complete the ritual."

"You're bluffing." I could feel my forehead begin to sweat lightly.

"Sure, you can keep telling yourself that." Nobody continued eating, "But it isn't going to help you."

As he spoke, my vision began to distort. Colors blurred, lights seemed to shimmer and pulse around the edges of my sight. Panic set in as I watched Nobody seemingly begin to fade away before me.

"What's happening?" I stammered, standing and gripping the table to steady myself.

"You see, Frank," Nobody's voice seemed to echo and distort, "this is the final step. You've been chosen. I needed someone capable, someone driven. Someone who could carry on the mantle."

"No, this can't be happening," I muttered, my head spinning.

Nobody's form grew faint, almost transparent. "Relax, Frank. It's already done. Welcome to eternity."

I tried to stand, to reach out, but my limbs felt heavy, my movements sluggish. The last thing I saw was Nobody's smile before everything went dark.

I heard gunfire as the agents hidden outside began to fire upon Nobody. Then, everything went black. The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake by the captain.

"Sir, are you alright?"

I grabbed my now pulsing head as I stirred. "Yeah… what happened?"

"You suddenly got up and collapsed," the captain explained. "By the time we got into the waffle house, Nobody was already gone."

I looked around, trying to make sense of it all. The waffle house was empty, save for the agents and the staff, who were now looking on with confused and frightened expressions. The table where Nobody had been sitting was vacant, the now almost fully eaten waffle still on the plate.

"How could he just disappear like that?" I muttered, more to myself than anyone else.

The captain just shrugged. "He's Nobody."

"Yes…" I trailed off, recalling Nobody's final words before I blacked out. "I suppose he is." With the captain's help, I got up and patted the dust off my clothes. "Well, there's no point in staying in this damned place. Regroup all your units and head back to the foundation site. Report to high command about the failure."

The captain nodded and saluted. "What about you, sir?" he asked before walking off.

"I'm going to head home and start typing up the report," I replied, stretching a bit. "I'll see you in the morning for the post-mission debrief, captain."

With a final nod, the captain walked away to gather his men.

I twiddled my fingers for a moment, and I could have sworn I saw them… just for an instant… flicker.

VIDEO LOG

DATE: 05/11/1956

NOTE: The following footage was captured of Person of Interest 1902, formerly agent Francis █████. The cause of the change in Researcher Francis is currently unknown, though it is believed to be connected to the interaction with GOI-2014, Nobody, which occurred the previous day. A warrant for POI-1902's arrest has been issued, and attempts to capture POI-1902 are ongoing. Wanted to get hold of this recording to see exactly how it happened. I'm a horrible person.

[BEGIN LOG]

13:05: POI-1902 is observed entering the site, dressed in attire strikingly similar to that of GOI-2014. Camera footage captures clear details of POI-1902's face, with no visible distortions, though the subject appears visibly anxious, breathing heavily and frequently glancing over their shoulder.

13:07: POI-1902 attempts to use their standard-issue Foundation ID at the automated check-in booth, which declines the entry. The subject's distress visibly increases as they repeatedly swipe the card with no success. Later analysis revealed that the booth had experienced a malfunction shortly before POI-1902 arrived, though the cause remains undetermined.

13:21: POI-1902 produces a small cylindrical device from their pocket. They attach it to the check-in booth, which promptly buzzes open. The subject quickly removes the device and pockets it before hurrying through the gate. Immediately following this action, all cameras across the site lost power for approximately 20 minutes.

13:35: Upon the cameras reactivating, POI-1902 was located inside Storage Locker 17, a secure area containing various non-essential anomalous items awaiting classification. The subject is seen hastily placing several of these items into a briefcase that had not been in their possession when they entered the site. Strangely, no guards are present in the footage. A later investigation revealed that the on-duty guard had called in sick the previous day due to a sudden illness. Due to a series of internal server errors, the notification was never received by the director, and the system had inexplicably logged the guard as having checked in that morning. Consequently, no replacement guard was dispatched.

13:47: The door leading into Storage Locker 17 abruptly jams shut. POI-1902 can be seen attempting, in vain, to pry the door open, growing visibly more agitated.

13:56: The door opens, and POI-1902 exits.

14:00: POI-1902 is observed making their way toward the Site Director’s office. The subject seemingly avoids all guard rotations.

14:08: POI-1902 arrives near the Site Director’s office. The Site Director is seen leaving the office. POI-1902 enters the office unnoticed. All cameras within the site directors office go offline.

14:15: Camera footage within the site director's office is offline; however, muffled speaking was picked up by cameras outside the office. POI-1902 appears to be repeatedly saying, "I can't see my face."

14:22: POI-1902, now visibly more composed, exits the director's office and taps on what appears to be a tablet device. At that exact moment, all containment cells within the Euclid wing of the site simultaneously opened, triggering a site-wide alarm. Camera activity across the site was completely disabled. POI-1902 then managed to exit the building via unknown means. Technicians have been unable to restore full camera functionality or recover the footage during this period.

During the containment breach, Foundation systems were compromised by a malicious, sentient virus that corrupted data pertaining to all SCP objects held at the site. While major SCPs have since been re-documented, the specific anomalous items that POI-1902 stole remain unidentified. The situation is under ongoing investigation, as several elements of the incident—such as the sudden illness of the guard and the precise timing of the malfunctions—are considered highly unusual.

[END LOG]

To Do List

1. Get access to Foundation servers (Surprisingly easy).

2. Break into Frank's house and swap out his flask(Who would have thought a high-ranking Foundation official would have such a dull place?).

3. Leave "gifts" for Frank to find after our meeting at his house. (Remember to iron extra clothes.)

3.5. Make sure Frank actually believes my crap (It's amazing what the human mind can do when you give it some blanks to fill… especially after one mild dose of psilocybin… it can even replicate its effects…).

4. Babysit Frank while he "breaks" into the Foundation site (Good thing I made arrangements in advance).

4.5. Get waffles (THEY CLOSED THE WAFFLE HOUSE???).

5. Catch up with Frank.

6. Sort through Frank's stuff (The Sarkics are gonna love this).

7. Look through Foundation files recovered from Frank's tablet (Wooden box??).

8. Dispose of Frank's body (Sorry Frank). Was thinking of a nice clearing… maybe his childhood home?

8.5. Feed the ducks.