Bystander's Guilt - SCP Foundation

6:00. Fuck, why can't I be with her?

Bystander's Guilt

"Love you babe, I'll be back in a bit."

The door swung shut behind her, echoing throughout the deserted halls of Site-43 with portentous weight.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

6:00. Fuck, why can't I be with her?

Like the dripping tap, or the telltale heart, the clock wore down Heather Garrison's sanity.

It's okay. It's fine, right? It'll be fine.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

6:01. Fuck.

Jay — you there?

Hey Heather, what's up?

Okay

Uhhh

How do I do this?

Like, what am I supposed to do?

What do you mean?

The Breach.

Shit. I didn't realize that it was happening already.

Not yet. They just stuck our asses in our dorms and locked us in.

For 'our safety'

I don't care about our safety. I just can't handle this, Jay, what am I supposed to do?

How the fuck do we do anything?

Are we just

supposed

to wait?

Do we just pretend? Say 'Oh boy! Sure hope nothing's gone wrong!'

'Sure hope that our timeline doesn't collapse.'

It's not going to collapse, Heather.

You don't know that

though

Nobody except the Survivors has any idea of what's going on.

How's Ilse feeling?

They've been through so much at this point, nothing phases them. It's impressive, if not also incredibly intimidating.

Trust me, I hear you

lmao

6:04. I need a drink.

You don't need to worry about Lillian, she's done this lots of times.

Okay

But

I've heard the stories from her. She's told me about the other branches, the…

The failed timelines. The BAD ones.

I just… fuck Jay, what the fuck do I do?

I am just fucking sitting here, in OUR dorm, staring at the life we've built together, but FUCK

What if it's all gone? What if it's not okay?

Heather, they always figure it out.

Sure, but what if the solution is bad?

What if Lillian doesn't make it out this time? What if she has to stay behind to close the breach forever?

What if she turns into a fucking spider Jay?

I can't date a spider

Do you really think she would turn into a spider?

I don't know what to think

One sec, brb

6:10. She shouldn't be busy yet.

Would you still love me if you were a spider and I was still me?

Heather what the fuck are you saying?

Sorry also I forgot to say this but

Babe, be safe, okay?

I need you.

…

Wish I was there!

Wait

No

I just wish it didn't have to be like this.

Please, Lil. I just

I just need to hear you tell me that it's going to be alright.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

6:18. Why hasn't she answered me?

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Fuck.

I didn't tell her I loved her

FUCK

how could I fucking forget?

The last thing

The last thing I said to her was

WHERE YA OFF TO, LOSER?

Jesus fucking christ Jay why didn't I just say

"I love you Lillian, be safe"

She must hate me.

I hate me.

Sorry, I was just talking to Ilse

Hammer, ski nose you larva hurt

Jay what the fuck do you mean

Sorry, stupid voice activation plus autocorrect

Heather, she knows you love her

Dork

You say it like

All the time

Like ALL the time

Shut the fuck up

You're right

Damn it Jay, why are you always right?

What can I say?

It's going to be okay.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Tick. Tick.

Tick.

6:21. What if I never hear her voice again?

Tick.

The room full of their things, in their place, in their life they hade built together — it all felt numb to Heather.

Tick.

6:22. What the fuck is going to happen to me? To us?

Tick.

The ground beneath her feet felt hollow. It is, she belatedly thought.

Tick.

6:23. It'll work out. It has to.

Tick.

Doubt always sets in. It has gone wrong before.

Tick.

6:24. Please.

Tick.

The room still smelled like her.

Tick.

6:25. It happens every year? Is this… Is this my life now?

Tick.

The weight was oppressive.

Tick.

6:26.

Tick.

Heather's chest tightened as she held her breath.

Tick.

Time slowed down as Heather felt every pump of her heart. When the world is still and every sound a hint to the truth, everything just takes a little bit longer.

Tick.

It's still 6:26.

Heather's memories flashed in her mind — the ones she had made with Lillian, with her friends. With the family she has found.

Tick.

The only ones she had left. Her… Her entire life.

Tick.

6:27.

Tick.

What happened?

Tick.

I just heard from Ilse, she said it sounded like it went smoothly.

Have you heard from Lillian yet?

No. Not yet.

Tick.

The waiting wasn't done.

Tick.

Heather would be waiting for longer, wouldn't she?

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

She just hoped Lillian was okay.

30 excruciating minutes later, the door to their habitation swung open, and Lillian lazily waltzed through their door.

"Heath? I'm home, are you ready for dinner?"

Heather barely gave her a second before launching herself at her girlfriend, pulling Lillian tight, sobbing into her chest.

"Thank god you're not a spider." Heather said through tears and sniffles. "Didn't you see my messages?"

She could feel Lillian's heart beat in perfectly imperfect syncopation, knowing that she was still here.

"What? Babe, I left my phone here. I told you."

Heather blinked twice, before slowly exhaling from her nose, fighting back the tears.

"Oh. Right."

"What's wrong? Did something happen while I was— oh my god, it was your first breach."

"Yeah."

"Fuck, you must have been so worried. Heather, I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm just… I'm used to it by now, you know? I just push a button."

"How did that go?"

"How did what go?"

"Pressing the button."

"Babe, I pressed that button so fucking well."

Tick.

Another year gone.

Tick.

It was over now.

Tick.

And yet, Heather was still waiting.

Forgotten Memories Hub