All Alone on a Friday Night - SCP Foundation

Morning

Afternoon

19:31, Cafeteria

22:27, Staff Lodging

22:45, Therapy Pool

23:35, Site-17 Hallways

Ten Years Ago, Site-17 Community Room 3

Anne showcased the vibrant orange triangle to Cain as though it were a used car she was trying to get rid of. "Hey, c'mon. Just one bite, yeah?"

Cain frowned. He certainly wasn't in any mood to play games, sitting alone at his little isolated table, but Anne was insistent. When she spoke to Stacey earlier, she seemed convinced a single Dorito would 'Knock that poor old bastard flat on his ass. I mean butt. And old person.' Stacey had taken a bet on it when she realized that Anne didn't know what Cain would do to a tortilla chip. Now all that was left was to wait for her chocolate.

"Is there some… greater purpose to this?" Cain eyed the chip suspiciously. "I simply wish to be alone at the moment."

"Look, I just wanna give you something to cheer you up, alright?" Anne said in a feigned voice of innocence that Cain could probably see through. "Just take a bite and I'll be out of your hair."

"So be it," Cain sighed, egged on by the prospect of her being out of his hair.

"Alright," Anne said, smirking as she stepped closer. "Just take a bite of - huh?"

Her gaze fell on the shriveled, decomposed triangular pile of dust in her palm. Cain let out a deeply exasperated sigh upon seeing Anne's little present decompose, disappointed but not surprised.

"If it grew from the soil, I'm afraid I'm unable to sample it," he said in a measured tone. "Now, if you'll excuse me-"

"Oh, no, wait, I can just get the dust." Anne began speaking a mile a minute, trying to weasel her way out of losing the bet she'd already lost. "It's just artificial, it'll probably be - hold on…"

"Oh, she's trying to cheat somehow, I bet," Leora said from behind Stacey, leaning forwards to get a good look at the exchange. "She still owes us."

Stacey bit her lip. If she lost the wager, she'd be in debt to Anne, which didn't seem like an enticing proposition. But, Stacey had learned to always make sure you had a backup plan. In this case, a way to make sure the bet didn't go anywhere else.

"Uh, hey, Iris?" Stacey waved her hand a little to get Iris' attention, who was sitting across the table and stabbing at her food so much it looked like it had gone through a food processor. "Anne's annoying Cain."

Iris perked up a little at the mention of Cain's name. "Uh, what…?" She muttered as she turned her head to look at Cain's table, her expression hardening as soon as she saw Anne. "Hey! Quit fu-" She glanced back at Stacey- "Quit messing around!"

Dejectedly, Anne stumbled back over towards Stacey and delivered the one chocolate bar each to her and Leora. "Next time, I'll…" Anne trailed off when she noticed Iris glaring at her even harder, leaving the two of them be. Stacey pocketed her candy while Leora tore hers open like a vicious hyena.

In spite of Iris' glaring - or perhaps because of it - Anne circled the table and sat two spots over from Iris. "Isn't there anywhere else you could sit?" Iris hissed.

"Hey, c'mon, the spot's open, yeah?" She looked around the table for someone to back her up, but Adams didn't look up from her phone and Jackie just looked very slightly tired, which was rare for her.

"I don't care if it's open, I don't want you here," Iris pressed.

A sudden groan came from Adams, drawing Stacey and Anne's attention. "My god, Iris, don't you like anyone?" She moaned.

Iris thought about it for a moment, her attention momentarily diverted from Anne - an opportunity Anne took to steal Iris' tomato soup. "I like my parents."

"Someone who you, like, talk to." Adams put her phone down and tilted her head at an angle to look at Iris.

Another pause. "I like Jesus Christ."

Adams made a sound similar to that of her soul escaping her body and Anne snorted so hard that creamy red liquid started streaming out of her nostrils. "No, I mean a person, Iris."

"Jesus Christ was both fully divine and fully man," Iris said with a smug expression like she just got Adams in some kind of rhetorical trap. "To say otherwise is-"

"Wow, they weren't kidding," Anne said, still wheezing despite the clear discomfort that came with forcing tomato basil soup up your nasal cavity.

Iris squinted, her wrath momentarily deflected towards Anne. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Holy fuck, fine. Fine." Adams threw her arms up. "Someone who isn't from the Bible."

Iris pressed her thumb up against her teeth, deep in contemplation. Stacey thought she looked a little bit like that one statue - except way skinnier. Then, finally: "I like Cain."

"What did I just say?" Adams responded without missing a beat.

Iris made a tch noise and looked away.

As if to spare Iris from any further embarrassment, Leora spoke up. "Wait a minute, you don't like us?"

Oh, never mind. She was just going to embarrass her more.

"What, oh, no. I mean, yeah. I mean - hold on a second." Iris shook her head. "I mean, you guys are, like. Fine. Nice, I mean." She looked from Leora to Stacey in what might have seemed like a look to communicate her authenticity if she didn't look so unapproachable by default.

"Okay, but… like…" Stacey trailed off. She wasn't entirely sure where this conversation was headed, nor why Leora chose to include her.

"It's… You guys are, like, kids. You're fine, but nobody my age should be friends with kids, right?" Iris' 'thinking' face quickly transitioned into her 'serious' face as she leaned forwards towards Stacey and Leora. "You guys know that, right?"

"Oh! Um. Yes." Leora nodded, even though she sounded slightly confused.

There was an awkward lull in the conversation, the type that always comes when an uncomfortable topic has ended but nobody knows quite how to follow it up. Perhaps sensing an opening, a middle-aged man and woman stepped forwards. No, wait, only the man was older. The woman looked like a teenager, but just had grey hair. Well, grey-ish. Stacey wasn't quite sure if it was the result of some anomaly or albinism. Wait, uh, was that rude to people with albinism? Maybe she just shouldn't say anything for now.

The man cleared his throat when all that was afforded to him was a sideways glance by probably the single least important person seated at the table. The teenager with him seemed to think it was meant for her, though, and yelped "Hello."

The way she squawked it and continued standing like a sculpture made by someone who had only ever had human posing described to them verbally seemed to get more people's attention. Iris looked up with a confused expression.

"Oh. Uh, hey, Dave." Iris' perplexed look stayed on her face despite her recognition of the older man.

"Hello," he said, then paused to wait for the teenager to say something. She didn't. After a quiet sigh, he continued. "Iwona here wants to get dinner with a few other people, but all the other seats are filled. Can she sit with you?"

A cursory glance around the room told Stacey that was a lie, but she bit her tongue. The presence of Leora right next to her made it clear that looking down on anyone for getting another person to do the hard parts of social interaction for her would make her a hypocrite.

"That's, um… fine," Iris said, much to the surprise of everyone at the table and the (performative) offense of Anne.

"Great, thanks," Dave replied with a deep, genuine relief in his voice. Iwona took a seat after Dave motioned for her to do so, next to Jacqueline. "Alright, I need to get going, then."

This sparked a response from Iwona, who looked up to protest only to see Dave disappearing into the crowd. She closed her mouth again and stared straight ahead, hands placed in her lap to take up as little space as possible.

The awkward silence once again reinstated its reign of terror as everyone either pointedly directed their attention toward their food or shot Iwona sidelong glances.

"Aw, man," Anne said in an exaggerated tone, as if allergic to people near her not speaking. "I guess you really do hate me, I-"

"Yes." Iris said without looking up from her food.

Anne twitched, but soldiered on. "I was thinking you were just like that to everyone, but I guess you just let whoever come sit at your table." She looked annoyed momentarily before smirking as an idea crossed her mind. "I'll be sure to let everyone know that what I said about you was wrong, so that they'll all-"

"Just shut up, would you?" Iris groaned, glaring at Anne, although Anne seemed to treat the response like a victory. Maybe she was one of the masochists she'd heard Adams talking about. "I know Dave from… a while ago, he was friends with some friends of mine."

"Wow, so you do have friends? What are they…" Anne trailed off when she saw Adams and Jacqueline both hurriedly making a slashing motion across their throats and, for once, thought the better of what she was about to say and instead stretched exaggeratedly and turned her attention to Iwona.

"So, how long you been here… Iwona, was it?" she asked.

"Iwona, yes," she replied. After a moment of thinking, she said "About 13 years."

"Thirteen?" Anne whistled. "Even longer than our friend here."

"I'm not - ugh." Iris decided, finally, that responding to Anne was simply a losing battle.

"Hey, hey, did you have to watch those videos with the little logo guy? Skippy?" Leora suddenly perked up. Stacey remembered those old videos with the children's mascot they showed the child anomalies to get them up to speed in everything in the Foundation. They seemed extremely dated, and she wasn't sure if they were just old or made by old people.

"Oh, yes. I've seen every episode of Skippy and Keter more times than I can count." Despite Iwona's distant air, she seemed genuinely happy that someone mentioned that show.

Stacey started feeling a little bit better. Up close, Iwona didn't look that much older than her and Leora. Maybe it wouldn't be too hard to get to know here. "Oh, I remember those," Stacey chuckled. "I always felt like Skippy was a little creepy, like he murdered someone when the cameras were-"

"No he didn't. That isn't true." Iwona hissed as she leaned forwards toward Stacey. Stacey realized that she failed to consider just how important the only cartoon someone had ever watched in their entire life might be to them.

"O-Kay, so, Iwona, what brings you here?" Jacqueline piped up with a smile on her face, which seemed a little superficial considering how tuned out of the conversation she'd been up until now. Perhaps she had been waiting for Iris to say something, but she looked like she was still trying to figure out if she should talk to Iwona as a child or an adult.

"Oh. Dave says I need to talk to people better if I want to go to college." Iwona touched a hand to her chin. "But I can talk well. My throat has been fine for years now. And I don't want to go to-"

"College? You're going to college?" All of Stacey's fears suddenly seemed insignificant. Her head raced a mile a minute at the mere mention of the word. Iwona was wearing clothes for a skip, and she was going to college? For real?

"Um. Yes." Iwona looked a little taken off guard, but not upset by the interruption. "Well, I can. I don't want to."

"What?" Stacey almost stood up, her confusion and excitement mixing with annoyance. "Why wouldn't you want to leave? If I had the chance - I mean, do I…?"

Stacey looked at Iris and felt her heart start to sink. Iris sighed, her face bearing an expression of solemn obligation. "Look, Stacey… Humanoids are contained if containment is the only solution to protect themselves, others, or the veil."

"I know," Stacey replied quickly, subconsciously lowering herself back down into her seat. She'd heard it a thousand times before.

"Nobody would know Iwona outside of here, so it's just a matter of falsifying…" Iris trailed off when she saw Stacey had gone back to picking at her food. Somehow, she felt worse than she had before Iwona showed up in the first place.

"Hey, hey, it's not a huge deal," Anne said coyly before another silence could fall. Maybe she was allergic. "College usually sucks anyways."

Leora perked up at the more interesting - or at least less depressing - topic. "Ooh, what was it like?"

"College?" Anne asked. "Never been. Seen plenty of movies, though, and those were cool, and movies are all fake, so college probably sucks, yeah?" Anne's comment could be generously interpreted as a joke, but it failed to elicit even a groan.

"…Well, have you met someone from college?" Leora was insistent in keeping the conversation going in spite of Anne's Anne-ing, likely spurred on by Stacey's dejected posture. It was a nice thought, but… well, it's not like talking about college would make her feel better.

"Oh, sure, I got, uh…" Anne scanned the table, from Stacey, to Leora, to Iwona (who gave a short, stilted little shake of her head), to Jackie, then leaned way back to look at Adams who was sitting on the other side of Iris. "Hey, Adams? You been."

Adams just shrugged, and Anne frowned. The only non-anomalous person seated at the table seemed like the safest bet. "The hell's a shrug supposed to mean?"

"Beats me," Adams replied without looking up from her phone. "Got my memory scrubbed before I was hired."

Stacey was shocked out of her stupor by the nonchalant delivery of that last little tidbit. That was absolutely not just something to tack on like that. Anne's twisted expression, totally genuine for once, seemed to indicate that Stacey wasn't alone in that assessment. Anne looked to all the other people sitting at the table in the span of half a second before looking back at Adams, unaware of the little bomb she had just dropped.

"What the shit?" Anne whisper-screamed.

"It's a common procedure for certain staff members," Adams replied in… weird monotone.

"It's fucking weird," Anne sputtered, her no-swearing-in-front-of-the-teenagers rule forgotten in the excitement.

"There's no reason to be concerned about it." There it was again, that same monotone voice. Was that supposed to be a joke?

Anne looked at Iris and mouthed an exaggerated What the fuck? Iris, momentarily forgetting that she wasn't supposed to like Anne, threw her arms up and mouthed I don't fucking know back to her. Apparently, this was something Iris had already pressed Adams about and found the line of questioning to be pointless.

Sensing that just maybe this wasn't something they should be discussing at all, Jacqueline spoke up, ever the saving grace of spiraling conversations. "You know, I've been to all kinds of colleges. I got lots of different degrees and whatnot."

"Ooh, was it fun?" Leora asked. Honestly, Stacey appreciated her, but she really didn't want to hear someone go on about how cool and exciting things were on the outside.

"Eh, it's more like a job after a certain point," Jacqueline shrugged. "Same as any other obligation. Once you start a career, the only thing that changes is your schedule."

"Oh. Okay. Cool." Anne made an exasperated gesture with her whole body that seemed to say just work with me, man. "How about high school, then?"

"I mostly got called slurs in high school."

"Jesus fucking - Oh my god, you people. Where's the fun, huh? The energy? The fucking Chaos Insurgency suicide squads were more fun to talk to than you people." Anne looked around the table to see everyone either looking somewhere else or only giving each other noncommittal glances. "Well, what did you want to do in high school, huh? Big prom dances? Anyone? Open question here."

Anne slyly shifted closer to Iris. "Well, how about you? You had some big senior year aspirations, I'm sure. I know you weren't born here."

Iris bristled at the comment - even more than she usually did, like that was something Anne wasn't supposed to know. "You shut your damn mouth about anything you think you saw," she spat.

"Hey, just trying to help you out here," Anne said in a somewhat hushed tone as she held her hands up. "Trying to make the conversation a bit more… palatable for our friends here, yeah?" She nodded toward Stacey, who suddenly felt even worse. She didn't want to be a pain to Iris. Maybe she should have just stayed in her room this time around.

"Oh, yeah, what did you like back in high school?" Leora giggled conspiratorially, if a little forced.

Iris frowned, and her eyes turned to Stacey as if pleading for an out. Wisely, Anne stayed quiet for this.

Well, you talk about boys in school, right? Or so the common knowledge goes? That was something. Better than dwelling on being stuck here. "…Well, I guess I'm kinda curious."

Iris' face dropped into one of abject agony before twisting itself into some mockery of good-naturedness. "Oh well, I. You know."

Despite Iris' clear pain, it didn't seem like everyone was scrutinizing her. Aside from Leora and Stacey, Jacqueline and Iwona were watching with only passing interest, and Adams hadn't looked away from her phone. As if to draw attention to this, she snorted at some kind of joke, oblivious to the fact that she sounded like a stuck pig and earned herself a few side-eyes from the surrounding tables. Anne did look a little excited, but, well, it was Anne. What can you do.

"…Yeah?" Leora pushed.

"Well, I, y'know, wanted the same thing as anyone else. Someone who was… tall, I guess. Not really sure what you're hoping for here," Iris said with an agonizingly forced laugh. That wasn't much of an admission of anything, but Iris looked like her soul was withering away like a parasite removed from its host and left to bake in the sun. Anne rolled her eyes as if to say the answer was disingenuous tripe, but Iris certainly seemed to believe it.

"…Did you ever go to a prom?" Stacey asked. She never really had any interest in going to one before she was contained, but the idea of any event of universal import to normal teenagers held a certain attractive quality nowadays.

Iris scratched at the back of her neck awkwardly, like she had forgotten how people normally bend their arms. "Uh, no. I was actually brought here when I was younger than the two of you." Stacey's face faltered and Leora grimaced, so Iris quickly added "I was never really interested in going to them. For the most part. I didn't like crowds. Uh, don't."

"Mostly?" Anne asked in a bored tone. Why was she annoyed, wasn't she the one who was pushing for this?

"I mean, I guess I, like, kind of like the idea of, um, big… romantic gestures." Iris gestured with her hands as if to communicate the idea of something 'big' to the small group of people crowded around a table with stools that were too small to sit on comfortably. "I mean, I didn't like crowds, but dancing in a big hall, with romantic music… I always though that would be…"

Stacey bit her lip. "Iris…"

"Stupid stuff, like I said." Iris shook her head. Taking another look around, she frowned to see that even Adams had momentarily stopped tapping away on her phone and started giving Iris a judgy side-eye. "Alright already, dinner's almost over. Quit staring and eat."

Deciding that they had already pushed their luck with Iris enough for one day, Stacey, Leora, and Anne all set about eating their now-cold food. In truth, Stacey wasn't hungry, and her food wasn't even remotely appetizing, but, hey, blending in was a part of those soft skills Iris had mentioned, right?

After a couple minutes, Stacey leaned over to Leora. "Hey, do you want to play some more board games after dinner?" She whispered. She wasn't the most interested in more board games, truthfully, but she figured doing something was better than nothing. Leora looked like she was suppressing a groan, though, even though Stacey was hoping she'd appreciate her being the more proactive one for once. "It can just be the two of us," she added hastily.

"Ah, nope," Iris interjected. Stacey cringed. She could swear that woman had the ears of a hawk sometimes. "Curfew's soon. Everyone's gotta be in their rooms by nine o'clock unless you've got the right clearance," said the anomaly with the right clearance.

"Right…" Stacey cleared her throat. For some reason, the thought of herding herself into her room before curfew felt distasteful all of a sudden. "Well, maybe we could just get in a few quick games?"

"I mean, not much we'll be able to do after getting set up and packing it all away," Leora shrugged.

Stacey bit down on her tongue. That was it? That was all she had to say? Nothing about how the curfew was stupid? Nothing to talk back to Iris? She was just happy to walk herself on back to her cell? Stacey deflated and went back to staring at her plate. Sometimes she felt like she knew the Site's cheap ceramic tableware better than the faces of its inhabitants.

"Oh my god," Anne groaned. "I swear to god I'm defecting again. Maybe the Coalition knows how to shoot the shit."

Iris snorted. "Well, I can tell you there's absolutely one thing they'll know how to shoot if you show up."

"Ha-haaaaaaaa!" Anne snapped her fingers.

"Ha-heeeeeey!" Iris wore a smile of pure contempt.

"Wow, I didn't even know you could make jokes." Anne smirked.

Iris turned her attention back to her crossword puzzle. "When you're around, there's just no need."

With that, the intercom chimed twice, marking the end of dinner. As everyone moved to stand up, Jacqueline made a token effort to make Iwona feel included in the conversation she'd largely been excluded from. "So, Iwona, do you feel any better at communicating?" Perhaps there was an edge of sarcasm in her voice or maybe Stacey was imagining it.

Squinting, Iwona seemed to consider the question for a few seconds before answering. "Well, if nothing else, I learned it's important to be a good listener."

Bes found him in the archives, re-reading SCP-076's file.

"Uh, Cain?" he said, cautiously.

Cain sighed. "Hi, Bes."

"I, uh…"

"I shouldn't have said that about the firstborns," Cain interrupted. "That wasn't your fault. I'm sorry."

"Well, I shouldn't have said that about your brother. I'm sorry too."

"Thanks. You're right, though."

"What do you mean?"

"It was horrible, what I did. The most horrible thing I've ever done. And now I'm doing it again."

"Doing…what?" Bes asked, a little uneasily.

"Letting envy and wrath come between me and my best friend." He looked up, apologetically. "I've been a fool, Bes. And an ass."

"Well," Bes admitted, sheepishly scratching his mane, "that makes two."

"What's gotten into us?"

"We haven't gotten any since the First Occult War."

Cain snorted. "Yeah, I guess that would do it."

There was an awkward silence.

"So…" Bes ventured, "about that."

Cain waved one beryllium bronze hand at him. "Ah. She prefers you anyway."

"You think so?"

"I do. There was a carving of you in her tomb, after all."

Bes seemed surprised. "Really?"

"Really. It's in the file. Which I, uh, don't recommend reading."

"Wow. Uh. Okay."

Bes bit his lip for a moment before continuing.

"You know, it doesn't have to be either-or. She ain't exactly, uh, monogamous. Well, monandrous, I guess. But that too. You know what I mean."

Cain shook his head. "If there's anything I've ever proven, it's that I can't handle competition. That's what drove her apart from me before. I just couldn't deal with it. With…all that. If you want to cleave to her, I won't make an obstacle of myself."

"Well, uh…thanks, I guess. Not sure how much 'cleaving' there really is to do, though. Cross-testing and all that."

"Then that's yet another reason all this squabbling is foolish."

"Yeah, maybe so."

"Besides," he said, creaking to his feet with a stiffness that defied his eternally-young body. "I've been told that I'm too old to date."

When Cain and Bes returned, the few folks remaining in the lounge were variously relieved, surprised, and disappointed to see them smiling. Kedesh-Nanaya waved (and THE SHAPESHIFTER skedaddled) as they entered. Cain returned the wave, but he didn't follow Bes over to the couch she was lounging on. Instead, he headed for Iris's table. She would've found the surprised indignation on Nanaya's face quite gratifying if she hadn't been just as confused.

"I'm sorry for missing our game today," Cain said, to Leora. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow."

She grinned. "Oh, that's fine. I still-"

Unable to stand it any longer, Iris cut in.

"What happened to 'pleasures of the flesh'?!"

Cain shrugged. "I decided that my friendship with Bes was more important." He frowned slightly. "Honestly, I'm a bit upset that she so enjoyed driving a wedge between us."

"Cuz she's a bitch!" Iris said.

"Ehhh," he said, noncommittally. "No one's an angel."

"Hmph," said Iris to her plate. Cain wandered off, but it was only a few seconds before Anne took his place. She handed three life savers to Leora.

"Told you," Leora bragged, "the funny one always wins."

Confusedly, Iris looked between the two of them. "What's going on here?"

"I bet that she'd end up with Bes," Leora bragged.

"My money was on a polycule," Anne said, shrugging in defeat.

Iris groaned. "Great, now you're doing it."

"Doing what?" Anne asked, innocently.

"Making up words," she grumbled.