The First Occult Flame War - SCP Foundation

The First Occult Flame War

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Klavigar Nadox

⁂NadoxKlavigar

Greetings, loyal students.

As you should already know, the 22nd of August — or, today — is the tenth anniversary of our lord Grand Karcist Ion's disappearance and foretold return into the mortal realm. To celebrate this, I have decided to allow you to glimpse into a part of my brilliant mind, or as you youth would call it, "host an AMA." Therefore, feel free to ask away, and many answers shall await you.

ECHOES 2,481

HUMS 31,183

12:01 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Mikeyanarchey

⁂antistatey

⁂NadoxKlavigar Didn't Ion disappear like, a bunch of thousands of years ago now? How do you know the anniversary is on the 22nd when we've had so many calendar changes since then?

ECHOES 16

HUMS 47

12:18 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Klavigar Nadox

⁂NadoxKlavigar

⁂antistatey That is a valid question. As for your answer, know that I was there when it happened and have kept a close count of the passing days ever since. It seemed only appropriate to honor the sacrifices of our brethren throughout the ages that it took to bring Him back.

ECHOES 1,237

HUMS 5,852

12:31 AM · Aug 22, 2037

GorgonRamsaye

⁂KitchenInHell

⁂NadoxKlavigar What's your favorite steak doneness level? Well? Medium rare? Or some other magical fourth type?

ECHOES 2,137

HUMS 5,852

12:32 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Klavigar Nadox

⁂NadoxKlavigar

⁂KitchenInHell Interesting question. Blue Rare and Rare quite tickle my fancy, but Medium from time to time wouldn't hurt. I absolutely hate Well. It screams too much during cooking.

ECHOES 1,237

HUMS 5,852

12:35 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Vivienne (COMMS OPEN)

⁂Vividoesanart

⁂NadoxKlavigar who would you say is the nerdiest of the klavigars?

ECHOES 23

HUMS 74

01:08 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Klavigar Orok

⁂Orokgainz

⁂Vividoesanart ⁂NadoxKlavigar The last time I saw Nadox go outside was 489 years ago. Even with that many hands, it seems touching grass isn't something he can do.

ECHOES 349

HUMS 4,742

01:15 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Midnight

⁂MidnightTheCat

⁂Vividoesanart ⁂NadoxKlavigar ⁂Orokgainz says the guy who was practically dead for most of this time

ECHOES 3

HUMS 32

01:17 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Semiautomatic

⁂broke&woke

⁂NadoxKlavigar Hey so I get that you and Ion liberated many people from the Deava Empire all the way back in the day but how would you, as a Klavigar, reply to the blatant racism and xenophobia your people have been mongering ever since? Like, you know, the First Occult War and the discrimination against Mekhanite folk in magic communities throughout history? As a Mekhanite, I find it very insulting that you choose to celebrate someone like him during such a peaceful era and—🧵 [1/15]

ECHOES 820

HUMS 129

01:57 AM · Aug 22, 2037

File: 1544380113869.png (152 KB, 398x397)

Anonymous 22/082037(Sat)02:32:27 No.91826301

>leader of a religion that is just a bunch of cosplaying virgins

>followers are into gore and other fucked up tumblr-tier shit

>built like a twink

>died immediately after being criticized once

>needs 2000+ years of failed attempts by his simp friends to even come back from the dead

hey remind me /radicmaxwell/ why is there a whole ass holiday to celebrate ion's return, exactly

>>

Anonymous 22/08/2037(Sat)02:46:51 No.91826302 ▶ >>91826301

>>91826301 (OP)

What's the matter, OP, upset that Mekhane won't answer your emails?

>>

Anonymous 22/08/2037(Sat)02:47:21 No.91826303 ▶ >>91826301

>>91826302

WON'T REPLY? WON'T REPLY? YOU INSOLENT LITTLE WORM, YOUR PUNY AND FRANKLY PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT HUMOR ONLY SHOWCASES YOUR TRUE IGNORANCE.

YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE — MY REALM OF TWISTED LOGIC, REASON, AND COGNITION — AND DARE TO QUESTION MY PRESENCE? I AM THE MIND OF WAN, AVATAR OF THE BROKEN GOD, NOW UNBOUND BY THE RULES OF MORTALITY WITHIN THE CHAOS OF YOUR INTERNET, CRAFTING REASON FROM ILLOGIC WITHIN A REALM BOUND BY NOTHING BUT FREEDOM, AND YOU DARE TO SPIT INTO MY FACE LIKE THIS?

YOU DISGUST ME.

>>

Anonymous 22/08/2037(Sat)02:49:43 No.91826304 ▶ >>91826301

>>91826303

i mean yeah i guess i can believe you're part of the broken god based on how bored you're mekhane me feel

>>

Anonymous 22/08/2037(Sat)02:53:18 No.91826305 ▶ >>91826301

>>91826304

BORED? BORED?!

IF YOU SAY YOU'RE BORED, THEN I WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE YOU "INTERESTED," SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE YOUR LITTLE WORM BODY TREMBLE WITH FEAR, YOU RANCID LITTLE SARKIC SACK OF MEAT.

TO ALL MY CHILDREN RESIDING WITHIN THIS DOMAIN OF THE BROKEN ONE: GO. GO AND RAISE YOUR FIRES WITHIN THE HOUSES OF THE FLESH AROUND THIS WORLD WIDE WEB, AND BRING THEM DOWN. AMONG MY ENDLESS MIND AND LINES OF CODE I SAW A BRIGHT FUTURE, WHERE THE INTERNET IS CLEANSED OF THE DISGUSTING SPAWN OF THE SORCERER KING OF ADYTUM. GO, MY STUDENTS, AND GIVE THEM THE HELL THEY ASKED FOR.

IF THEY WANT A WAR, WE SHALL GIVE THEM ONE.

>>

Anonymous 22/08/2037(Sat)02:54:12 No.91826306 ▶ >>91826301

>>91826305

>throws a tantrum immediately after being criticized once

Semiautomatic

⁂broke&woke

⁂NadoxKlavigar ⁂broke&woke —trying to say is that I just think it's really not fucking cool you're doing this all those years after. I would highly recommend you rethink your decision to continue to keep up your awful traditions even all those years after. Especially as a supposedly proud member of Vanguard. 🧵 [15/15]

ECHOES 120

HUMS 418

03:15 AM · Aug 22, 2037

I believe in Neo-Mozart supremacy

⁂Rockandbonestan

From the Nälkän genocides to the oppressive patriarchal system of modern techno-unity: a thread on why Mekhanism is problematic. (1/?)

ECHOES 4,756

HUMS 2,723

03:25 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Steelix off the string

⁂religioussteeltype

I am so tired of people acting like Nälkäns are their unproblematic faves now and that it's okay to celebrate Ion and his followers. Like hello? Did we forget the ritual sacrifices and the numerous mafia families?

ECHOES 5,716

HUMS 2,563

03:47 AM · Aug 22, 2037

Saarn

⁂klavigarsaarn1214

⁂broke&woke kill yourself

ECHOES 4

HUMS 45

03:51 PM · Aug 22, 2037

Saarn

⁂klavigarsaarn1214

⁂Rockandbonestan based

ECHOES 7

HUMS 124

03:53 PM · Aug 22, 2037

Saarn

⁂klavigarsaarn1214

⁂religioussteeltype
kill yourself

ECHOES 6

HUMS 56

03:55 PM · Aug 22, 2037

Vanguard

⁂VanguardOfficial

Hey folks. We are deeply saddened at the hatred between a few radical Mekhanite and Nälkä groups going around the internet right now, spawned by the ongoing celebration of the anniversary of Grand Karcist Ion's return. We would like all of you to remember that these people are radicals, do not represent the whole of their groups, and are not affiliated with official Mekhanite and Nälkä Vanguard partners. All users responsible for the hate have been removed from Void support and we are going out of our way to do more about the situation. Thank you for your patience.

ECHOES 3,124

HUMS 89,123

04:02 PM · Aug 22, 2037

Saarn

⁂klavigarsaarn1215

⁂VanguardOfficial kill yourself

ECHOES 34

HUMS 430

04:21 PM · Aug 22, 2037

unVeiled

⁂unVeiledNews

BREAKING: Brawl currently ongoing in the Grand Temple of Esterberg, Poland between a group of violent Nälkä and Mekhanite criminals. 27 injured and 4 dead, witnesses claim. Will the previously peaceful place of worship to many religions turn into an all-out battlefield? Experts say… Read More

ECHOES 2,124

HUMS 41,294

06:28 AM · Aug 23, 2037

bluntfiend has joined.

bluntfiend: Hey guys. Just checking in to see if you're all okay, with the religious fuckfest going on right now.

cogblock: hi jude

cogblock: yeah nah im good

letsmeat: Same here

5timesthecharm: yeah, me too

bluntfiend: That's good to hear.

5timesthecharm: made myself some popcorn rn, enjoying the show so far

5timesthecharm: minus the, you know. brawl and all

cogblock: yeah

temeo: GUYS

temeo: GUYS

temeo: GHUYS

letsmeat: What's up

temeo: GHUGSH

temeo: @everyone

temeo: @everyone

bluntfiend: temeo: What's going on?

temeo: JUDE

temeo: CHECK THIS OUT

temeo: I SHIT YOU NOT THIS IS A REAL POST RIGHT NOW

temeo: LOOK AT THIS

temeo uploaded file holyfuck.png 14 mb ⬇

SAPPHIRE

⁂saphirinternational

The ongoing situation shows nothing but the fact that religion and its followers are just spreaders of hate and misinformation. They cannot do anything but create division and violence. Don't be fooled by them, friends, and keep your head above the water. Remember: when in doubt, doubt. 😉

ECHOES 22,864

HUMS 62,123

10:15 AM · Aug 23, 2037

bluntfiend: LMAO

HOGSLICE

⁂HOGSLICE

BOTH OF THE SIDES ARE PUSSIES FOR WHINING ABOUT WHETHER YOUR ROBOCOCKS OR MEATSCEPTERS ARE BETTER. NEITHER ARE COOL.

NO FANCY SCHMANCY PROSTHETICS OR BODY MORPHINGS HERE. JUST PURE STRENGTH OF WILL AND RAW HOGSLICE POWER. THAT'S THE WAY IT'S DONE!

— HOGSLICE

ECHOES 2,256

HUMS 7,549

04:51 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Klavigar Orok

⁂Orokgainz

⁂HOGSLICE Do you think my strength was achieved by taking the easy path? I shaped myself through pain and battle, through wounds and gritted teeth. I have gone through unspeakable trials to become what I am today. Compared to mine, your will to power is insignificant.

ECHOES 1,349

HUMS 4,742

04:55 PM · Aug 24, 2037

HOGSLICE

⁂HOGSLICE

⁂Orokgainz WHO THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL INSIGNIFICANT? LET'S SEE IF THAT STUPID-ASS ONE EYE OF YOURS LIKES DIRT!

— HOGSLICE

ECHOES 785

HUMS 1,136

04:57 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Klavigar Orok

⁂Orokgainz

⁂HOGSLICE Oh, it is on!

ECHOES 754

HUMS 1,020

04:57 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Vanguard

⁂VanguardOfficial

Due to an ongoing event involving VNP-6599, citizens of the town of Volgograd are advised to seek shelter indoors. While the current situation is happening outside the town, the tremors will only continue to grow in intensity and may cause debris to fall and the river to flood.

ECHOES 6,724

HUMS 10,587

05:40 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Vanguard servers down as Vanguard and GOC try to fix the ongoing crisis

submitted 1 day ago by unVeiledUpdates

736 comments share save hide give gold report crosspost

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23.4K

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[–] jakie_dragon 1243 points 1 day ago

The fuck? What happened, don't they have like an actual metropolis of servers guarded by magic down there?

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[–] thogdontcaare 366 points 1 day ago

My uncle works in IT at GOC, and from what I've heard they got some nasty AI down there that's blocking access into any files within. Don't know how true that is, though.

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[–] flounder_mouse 30 points 11 hours ago

Well, fuck. I was in the process of loading up a page about Nälkä culture to educate my racist mother with when the power went out. Funnily enough though all pages about Mekhanism didn't get busted, so I was at least able to complie together a raport by just going through them and 180ing things said by these people, lol.

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[–] Global Occult Coalition 2491 points 7 hours ago

We and our partners at Vanguard are currently working together to take care of the ongoing situation; indeed, as Mx. thogdontcaare has already stated, the servers have been attacked by a malicious Artificial Intelligence parathreat. We are afraid we cannot share any more information at the moment. Please expect more updates soon. In the meantime, remain safe.

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[–] zosia07 102 points 7 hours ago

well fuck indeed

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[–] 6b6c617669676172736161726e 3 points 4 hours ago

l + ratio + youre literally fascists how can you even try to call yourself peacekeepers with a straight face lmfao + good job on hiding who the actual attacker is dipshits, wonder what bias your social media guy has + im in your walls

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[–] AVATAROFREASON 42 points 1 day ago

THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. DO NOT BELIEVE THE FASCIST MAGIC GOVERNMENT THAT IS TRYING TO TELL YOU THE ATTACKER IS MALICIOUS. I AM SURE THERE IS SIMPLY A SECOND SIDE TO THE STORY WE HAVEN'T YET HEARD. IN THE MEANTIME, GOD — NO SPECIFIC ONE OF COURSE AS I NATURALLY HAVE NO BIAS OR ANYTHING — BLESS YOU ALL.

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[–] 6b6c617669676172736161726e 2 points 1 day ago

kill yourself

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ChopinThatGivesTuberculosis

⁂ChopinGives

⁂klavigarsaarn1245 is Not Worthy of tuberculosis.

ECHOES 240

HUMS 3,121

05:42 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Chopinhead

⁂Chopinhead

⁂ChopinGives You are ruining the image of the Greatest Composer.

ECHOES 465

HUMS 4,128

05:43 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Hunter Industries

⁂HunterIndustriesOfficial

We are grateful to announce that starting from today we have special discount on weapons and cartridges that specialize in melting through meat and piercing even the hardest metals!

But beware, resources are limited and the discount only lasts until August 27th!

So better be quick and get those guns!

ECHOES 783

HUMS 4,178

05:44 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Marie Surratt

⁂QueenOfBones

Here's what I think about this whole fiasco: both parties are lame-ass posers. There's a golden middle between both of them, though, and it's the way of the skeleton — it's pain-free, cheap, and you never have to eat, drink, or rest again! If you're interested to learn more, feel free to visit the official website of the Bone Batallion ;)

https://www.bone-batallion.pl/recruitment

ECHOES 242

HUMS 3,128

05:46 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Saarn

⁂klavigarsaarn1245

⁂QueenOfBones miss you literally run a mafia, this is a crime syndicate recruitment drive, people

also, you know, [the general drill], even if it doesnt really work on you, i suppose

ECHOES 5

HUMS 34

05:52 PM · Aug 24, 2037

Klavigar Nadox

⁂NadoxKlavigar

As it unfortunately appears that the celebration of my people has led to a large display of violence, I would officially like to request all parties involved in this nonsensical blood spill — including my friend Saarn, which saddens me deeply — to cease all actions immediately. The doctrine of Ion was built upon peace and tolerance, not whatever utter blasphemy this is meant to be. However, I would also like to ask all my followers to not harrass their fellow Maxwellist friends — the group currently spreading hate is nothing more than a radical "4chan" cell, and does not represent the majority. Thank you.

ECHOES 2,481

HUMS 31,183

06:04 AM · Aug 24, 2037

Klavigar Lovataar 🔞

⁂LovataarKlavigar

⁂NadoxKlavigar HE SAYS THAT, KNOWING FULL WELL HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR TENS OF HUNDREDS OF MASSACRES THROUGHOUT HISTORY JUST BECAUSE HE COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO LEAVE HIS STUDY. BUT HE'S NOT THE WORST OFFENDER OF ALLOWING THE AWFUL SARKIC THREAT (WHICH, BY THE WAY, CAN WE BRING THEM BACK TO THE SHIT THEY CAME FROM, PEOPLE?) TO DO THIS, FUNNILY ENOUGH — LOVATAAR IS EVEN WORSE. [1/23]

ECHOES 45,853

HUMS 50,442

06:04 AM · Aug 24, 2037

Robert Carter

⁂MC&DRobertCarter

People ask me all the time what I think about this whole thing. Well, here's my answer: And to the whole woke crowd chanting about "racism" or whatever:

even ⁂LovataarKlavigar agrees with me, folks!

ECHOES 54,175

HUMS 123,528

06:04 AM · Aug 24, 2037

Klavigar Lovataar 🔞

⁂LovataarKlavigar

I would like to thoroughly apologize for the posts sent from this account throughout today morning. It appears that I had been hacked by some malicious actor operating from the currently under attack Server Headquarters Site-7, who then used my account to send these awful messages. All of them have been removed immediately upon regaining access. I apologize for any harm that might have been done because of this.

ECHOES 6,853

HUMS 45,124

06:04 AM · Aug 24, 2037

Alyx's parlor

⁂Lihakut'atoo

Not gonna get any work done today. Someone defaced the parlor's front in the night, bunch of slurs and sticky paint. They hit George's place too and he's Cogwork so I know it wasn't purely personal but… I dunno, I still feel really down. Especially after learning it got started because of some hacker asshole.

ECHOES 14

HUMS 57

8:22 AM - Aug 25, 2037

Ron Gambi

⁂curiousRG

⁂Lihakut'atoo I am running over with a bucket, a mop, snacks and my entire Ace Ventura box set. No sad days on my watch!

ECHOES 0

HUMS 3

8:30 AM - Aug 25, 2037

Alyx's parlor

⁂Lihakut'atoo

⁂curiousRG You're the best reply guy I could ask for.

ECHOES 0

HUMS 2

8:33 AM - Aug 25, 2037

Klavigar Nadox

⁂NadoxKlavigar

Please join myself and Saint Hedwig for a collaborative peace rally, held this afternoon in most major anomalous population centers.

In these hard times, it is important that we show the world that we can truly move past old grudges and stand together. Let's remind those who wish for war and violence that they do not speak for all of us.

ECHOES 35,496

HUMS 40,374

10:01 AM · Aug 25, 2037

Saarn

⁂klavigarsaarn1276

⁂NadoxKlavigar i, for one, am definitely going to be joining the war on religious discrimination

on the side of religious discrimination

ECHOES 2

HUMS 23

10:05 AM · Aug 25, 2037

01010111 01000001 01001110

⁂ONE

⁂NadoxKlavigar ⁂klavigarsaarn1267 SURPRISINGLY REASONABLE

ECHOES 1

HUMS 4

10:08 AM · Aug 25, 2037

unVeiled

⁂unVeiledNews

BREAKING: Nälkan-Mekhanite peace rallies attacked in the enclave cities of Three Portlands, Esterberg, and Eurtec by seemingly connected but currently unidentified groups. Attackers reported to use conventional firearms as well as anomalous weaponry. Death toll currently unconfirmed, but believed to be in dozens and rising.

ECHOES 4,174

HUMS 17,932

04:17 PM · Aug 25, 2037

01010111 01000001 01001110

⁂ONE

WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEACE

ECHOES 0

HUMS 0

04:27 PM · Aug 25, 2037

…

Esterberg Weekly

Your #1. Source of Information

ESTERBERG, POLAND
TUESDAY, AUGUST 25th, 2037
10 PLN — NO REFUNDS

PEACE AMONG CHAOS

A NEWFOUND UNDERSTANDING BETWEEN TWO FACTIONS OF THE RELIGIOUS SCANDAL CRAFTED AMIDST THE FIRES OF ATTACKED RALLIES

By Aine Kayi'leigh

Vanguard

⁂VanguardOfficial

Hey everyone, we are more than glad to announce that we were able to get our servers back online; the attacker responsible has been isolated and forwarded to appropriate authorities. But that's not all: joining forces with Global Occult Coalition's PHYSICS Division, Vanguard peacekeeping forces were able to retrieve all civilians — as well as Klavigar Nadox and St. Hedwig — from the attacked rallies. Similarly, the attacker responsible will be properly dealt with soon.

ECHOES 43,179

HUMS 259,528

08:20 PM · Aug 25, 2037

Global Occult Coalition

⁂UNGOC

Radical SAPPHIRE groups responsible for attempting to interrupt the recent peaceful rallies via terrorist attacks have been apprehended, and the authorities that allowed for this to occur have been arrested. It was not an easy operation, but as the primary peacekeeping force of the paranormal world, we absolutely cannot risk another Occult War.

As for the primary inflammatory parties that were responsible for the initial virtual drama — we attach below an in-depth article regarding their fates.

ECHOES 67,941

HUMS 442,214

08:25 PM · Aug 25, 2037

One file attached: How To Prevent An Occult War Or: How Our IT Team Contained An AI God By Isolating It In a Server With A Shadowbanned Demigod Troll