A Barrel Load Of Work, A Barrel Load Of Fun (And That's No Bull!) - SCP Foundation

RODEO CLOWNS: A BARREL LOAD OF WORK, A BARREL LOAD OF FUN (AND THAT'S NO BULL!)

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Howdy!

Howdy Bambousio!

I have been a long-time fan of yours, I must say. Ever since Clown About Town magazine went and vanished all 'a sudden (what the heck was all that about? I'd just renewed my subscription two months before it happened!) your blog site has been my #1 go-to for keeping up with what's new in clownery.

Now, while I enjoyed your recent post, there was one thing mentioned in there that I don't want any of your readers to take the wrong impression about: Rodeo Clowns.

Of course, the breeding scene here has come to be known for a few of its seedier elements. But it's not fair to feather all ranchers with the same tar-brush.

I myself am a breeder of some experience, specializing on my ranch in the rearing of good quality Rodeo Clowns. On your main point against owners who are unprepared for the challenges of raising a breed like this, I could not agree more. But I do declare that these negatives are not inherent in the practice.

Well, first thing's first: Rodeo Clowns ARE a lot of work to raise. There are challenging demands, and it takes commitment. The first one, as most are already aware of, is space. Rodeo Clowns need plenty of wide open space to frolic in! The acreage at my ranch affords me to rear and stock a handful of clowns at a time, but most homes in the city or even suburbs do not have the kind of yard that will let your Rodeo Clown get the daily exercise they need.

Another caution for any potential breeders in such a neighborhood is the noise. Rodeo Clowns are LOUD! They will yip and hoot and holler, and they do not care what time it is. This is a part of their needs for attention - they love being chased by a big angry bull, but many breeders will find alternative ways to give their clowns that stimulation.

One other thing they do with that loud voice of theirs? Heckle and joke! They are great humorists, very talented performers - but a zinger or two is gonna come your way! If you're afraid your feelings could get hurt by a bit of wisecracking, toughen up buttercup because Rodeo Clowns might not be for you.

And then there's the barrel. Make no mistake here, a Rodeo Clown's barrel is practically a part of itself altogether. (I have heard tell of an Australian variant which goes without (?), but I've never imported any stock from overseas.) Now, if anyone knows about the hermit crab then they'll know what I mean when I say that a Clown's barrel is as crucial as that crab's shell. And boy, once a Rodeo Clown tucks down into that barrel, there ain't no doggone way anyone's gonna yank 'em back out. No limit to the kickin' they can withstand in there neither, them's some real tough ones, I tell you what.

Being typically so rough and rugged, they make some chores easier. Sleeping on a haybale suits them just fine, so long as it is properly bundled and baled. If you only go and toss some straw on the ground then call it a day, well that's just lower than the belly of a snake! Y'all can avoid the grooming hassles of a fancier breed (like the Italian Harlequin) too; these clowns will dress in baggy denim trousers and loose flannel shirts - and of course the distinctive cowboy hat! Brightly colored bandanas are another staple accessory. They'll get dirty, but that's little problem for the Rodeo Clown. Just keep that makeup fresh!

Gosh, after all of that you must be thinking "Waylon! At this point, what is the upshot here?" Well, I wholeheartedly believe that the Rodeo Clown is worth it. Because a good Rodeo Clown will live and die for you. They are loyal and fearless companions who will put themselves in harm's way without hesitation in order to protect you.

Of course let's not forget that thing which any of us enjoy most: the FUN! Rodeo Clowns are great fun; entertainment for all ages. They tell jokes, they act, they jump and tumble and dance. I had one who liked to play the little guitar and sing songs! (And then he'd go on and break that guitar over his head - smashed it to splinters, that wacky S.O.B.)

So fine, Rodeo Clowns are not suitable for everybody's situation. But with the right attitude, and plenty of care, the breeding of Rodeo Clowns can be a wholesome and rewarding endeavor.

Wishing you a very fine day,

~ Waylon Dickel

Owner & Proprietor of Dickel's "The Funny Bone" Ranch

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