Austin S. Is Having A Terrible Time - SCP Foundation

“Can’t do any of the three branches. 3Ports is definitely a no-go. Triple-Zero Thirteen? They’re lax.”

Currently, Austin S. was listing off places to retreat to and hide inside. Forever. Or at least until his boss, Robert Carter found him. The Marshall, Carter & Dark Junior Analyst shook his head.

“Nah, the Site’s still locked. It’ll be on backups for the next… two months and a day.”

His studio apartment was in complete disarray, strewn-about papers, knocked over Nongke Orchids (a gift from Robert), and two mountains of clothes on the floor. Austin was attempting to stuff more and more of the clothes into his suitcase to no avail.

He wasn’t even sure if he’d be able to make it one step out of the apartment, as the building was owned by Marshall and Dark’s company. Austin thought of the numerous security measures that could vaporize an intruder. How hard would it be to tweak that to ex-employees?

“Shit, shit!” Austin cried as a mound of clothing fell over, impeding access to his desk. He shook his head and calculated a five minute delay in packing because of this.

He quickly glanced at his genuine 1827 Breguet watch (Also a gift from Robert).

16:02

Austin now had approximately fifteen minutes before he got… visited by a very angry team of MC&D personnel. He brushed the sweat off his forehead and wiped it on his sleek, black hair. He got back to stuffing belongings into his bag.

THOOM

His head shot up like a meerkat towards his door. Someone had slammed the elevator doors across the hallway wide open.

“They can’t be here yet! I accounted for traffic! And time for calling contacts!”

Whoever- or whatever- was coming in from the hallway seemed to ignore Austin’s loud woes, and their footsteps drew closer.

The MC&D analyst grit his teeth so hard he felt like they’d start popping out soon.

3 HOURS & 34 MINUTES AGO

Austin sat at his corner office, sweating. On his desk was thousands of papers scattered about in piles, their original folders discarded onto the floor. He’d just spent five hours and twenty minutes trying to cover up his $10,000 mistake.

His dress was disheveled having wrinkled most of the daily-pressed suit he wore to work. As he sat, desperate, the phone on his desk rang under the pile of papers. In a panic he bumped his MC&D-provided mug, knocking the $19.68 coffee over some documents from 2008.

Pressing the pile of papers in hopes of picking up, his prayers were answered when the dry voice of Linda, Carter’s assistant, came through.

“Austin?” she asked with such annoyance that Austin felt he’d wronged her.

“Ye- Yes?”

“Robert wants to see you. Stat.” He heard Linda’s phone slam and the door to his office shot open, Linda’s annoyed face peeking through.

“Now, Austin.”

He got up immediately and paced out of the room, Linda trailing him. Austin bit his lip as he approached his boss’s office. Linda emphasized that Carter had a very private message awaiting, which was worrying since the man blabbered everything out loud. Austin’s face heated up at any of the possibilities:

Expulsion? Firing? Banishment? (Austin personally watched ███████ get stricken from the records).

He was particularly worried because Robert probably just discovered Austin’s major company blunder: a $10,000 misplacement of Wondertainment inventory. While a drop in MC&D’s ocean of wealth, summary employee termination for less wasn’t uncommon.

Austin heard a barrage of footsteps approach from behind and instinctively got out of the way, seeing four heavily armored security guards ‘hut-hutting’ their way down to his boss’s office. He felt sweat roll down the back of his hands and he wiped them on his pants, walking again. Linda let out a sigh, looked at her own watch, and turned away.

“Good luck, Austin.” she said, not a care in the world. Austin heard her steps fade away as he approached his boss’s office.

The junior shuddered when he heard Robert’s loud yelling about 30 feet down the hallway.

“Yes. YES! I’m literally on the situation right now!”

Austin leaned an ear in as he paced toward the door, hearing a voice on the other end.

“Aust- today? Good. That means- out today?’

“Of course! We’re wiping him shortly. Sad days these are.”

Austin tilted his head and slowed his pace, garnering looks from a couple purple-clad couriers.

‘Perfect. And- problem?’

“Oh, consider him gone.”

Austin stopped. Without a second thought, he quickly turned back the way he came, walk turning into jog.

The door to Robert’s office opened.

“Now that’s over- Austin, my boy! Where are you going? We have an appointment right now!”

The jog turned into a near-sprint. Austin didn’t turn back and drowned out the noise of Robert calling out to him.

Robert Carter shook his head and sighed.

The stomps of MC&D’s best and brightest rapidly approached Austin’s door. He approximated 10 seconds before they burst it open and calculated his immediate options:

1. Jump through the window with his basics and pray that the security cadre didn’t think to bring backup

2. Hide within the room

3. Fight them off

Austin chose option number 4 and briskly walked to the door and peeked through the eyehole. His vision was obscured by two bodies covering the hallway. He watched Robert squirm his way through them and pressing his eye into the hole, maniacally grinning. One of the two massive figures gently pushed Robert out of the way and knocked on the door, startling Austin onto the floor. He quickly got back up and looked through the eyehole again.

“Austin, my boy! Open up! I’ve got such wonderful news for you!”

Austin’s breath hitched while Robert pulled back, showing that he was flanked by the two Ax-78d Eidolonic Collective representatives. The two slender beings stood stock still, causing the analyst to breathe quickly. If Austin made a break for it, they could tackle him down in exactly 2.4 seconds. He wouldn’t even feel it.

He slowly opened the door, and felt Robert’s excitement radiating through the walls.

“There he is! Lads, what did I tell you! May we come in?”

Austin gestured them inside, Robert almost skipping while the Eidolonics took slow strides, comically crouching under the doorframe to enter. Carter looked around the room in astonishment and then faced Austin.

“Well, good news first!” He reached into his pocket, revealing a small black metal case.

Austin recoiled for a split second, anticipating the last shot he’d hear by closing his eyes.

Click!

He slowly opened his eyes and saw Robert holding out a folder in a briefcase. One of the Eidolonics let out some chirps.

“Offer present updraft job take” another said. Its partner hummed at a low volume. (All in Austin’s head of course).

Raising an eyebrow, Austin opened the folder. It had a paper that read:

MARSHALL, CARTER, & DARK POSITION PROMOTION

[ROBERT CARTER] would like to congratulate [AUSTIN S.] on the recent promotion to position of [SENIOR ANALYST]. We commend your loyalty and have well wishes.

Please find the acceptance form on the back of this letter, to be returned within the capsule this message was delivered in.

“Yes, yes, typical corporate jargon. I wanted to give this at the office, but you turned tail right before I could!”

Austin gulped.

“But that’s what I like about you! You already knew what was coming and packed your bags for the move to your new place! No more apartments downtown, you get the next-door suite!”

“Th- thank you sir.”

“Ah, no need for the thanks! It’s all due to your forward-thinking! Honestly, this was coming, we just needed to get the… other… Senior Analyst out first. I hope you understand.”

“Right, uh, of course.”

“Anyway, your living space isn't quite ready yet, so just pack everything and leave it with the Eidolonics. Any handhelds just bring to the car I’ve left downstairs. Your new office awaits!”

Robert turned away with a skip, one Eidolonic remaining behind.

Austin’s jaw remained wide open.

“Under traversal package engine?”

“Um, yes please.”

The now-Senior-Analyst watched the Eidolonics heave box after box into the Marshall, Carter, & Dark vehicle. Robert was chattering about some sort of future business venture in Hong Kong. He barely registered the heir’s words, still in shock that he wasn’t at the bottom of MC&D’s Ocean Prison or worse. A job promotion was incredible-

“Austin! Back to earth, please!” Robert shouted.

He nodded in acknowledgement.

“Apologies, boss, just lost in thought.”

“I can see that. Nervous?”

“Of course. New position, higher responsibilities, you know?” Austin shrugged.

“Higher responsibilities, yes. Always the sharp one, Austin.”

Austin gulped when he felt Robert’s hand squeeze his shoulder.

“Now, I believe that this promotion was for the best. I’ve got plans for my companies, and you are a part of that. I can rely on you, right?”

Austin’s heartbeat thumped in his ears, Robert Carter’s words echoing in his mind. His face heat up and more sweat dripped down his forehead. They were five miles from the airport, but two from the nearest ocean access. He already pictured the bottom of the sea, hands and legs tied up.

Austin inconveniently remembered the time he got Robert’s breakfast order wrong and had to wait 28 minutes for the replacement.

“Yes. Of course, sir.”

Robert Carter grinned at Austin, suddenly loosening his grip and clapping loudly.

“That settles it! Though all the papers aren’t quite in order, I do have an assignment for you. Just a package delivery to one of our food vendors.”

The terrified Austin felt a small box get thrust into his arms, his boss patting the package and walking toward his sedan, accompanied by an Eidolonic.

“I’ll see you later, and, congratulations again!” Robert Carter shouted before being led into the car. Austin watched it zoom off as the remaining Eidolonic held out a form.

“Imprint Straight Dot Dot Expression?”

Austin pulled out his pen and wallet, signing the receipt and leaving a small tip for the Eidonolic. It clicked and hummed in return and led him to the car. As Austin sat in the rear passenger seat, he took a deep breath, leaned his head back, and shouted:

“What the hell just happened!?”