The S.E.C.R.A.T. - SCP Foundation

"Hi, thanks for visiting the Site-19 Administrative Wing! How may I help you today?"

You introduce yourself to the perky staffer seated behind the pristine white desk.

"Ah, for the E.C. appointment; great. Please take a seat, things should be ready for you shortly. Can I get you anything while you wait? Coffee, tea, water?"

You politely decline and sit down in an armchair which matches the neutral tones of the reception area's decor. After a few minutes, you are invited to follow the receptionist into the adjoining area.

"Thank you for coming today. Apologies for being called on such short notice; it's just standard practice for this - oh, I'm sorry! You haven't been filled in on what this is yet, have you?"

You know that the Site-19 Ethics Committee Liaison sent you a message insisting you visit the Administration Wing for an appointment this afternoon; the message did not explain why. You say as much to your escort through these silent corridors.

"Well, I can tell you now: You've been chosen to participate in Selective Ethics Committee Reliability and Aptitude Testing. It's sure not a highly publicised program, so I guess the acronym is pretty accurate!"

You smile at the little joke, though privately suspecting that it is a regular fixture in this speech.

"You see, the Ethics Committee largely relies on analysis of documentation and voluntary disclosure of ethical conflict concerns. Of course, this alone isn't necessarily effective in detecting all cases; so the Committee keeps some… 'eyes in the field' as well. These informants, in exchange for certain privileges and bonuses, are expected to observe and report anything they encounter in the course of their standard duties which may be of concern."

This sounds like a job for moral crusaders or goody-two-shoes types who'd love to snitch on their peers. Or for someone with plenty of violations themselves, who saves their own hide by ratting out others like them. You wonder why you would be given consideration - which of the two might someone think you are?

"Naturally, the identities of these informants are kept strictly confidential; known only to that individual's handler and a portion of members on an oversight panel. No one person can compromise the identities of more than a fraction of the network."

Finally you are led into what looks like a small classroom - one large desk and chair face five smaller desks arranged in a row. Sheets of paper stapled together lay facedown on one of these smaller desks. A manila envelope and a few pens and pencils are also provided.

"Here we are! Once you've taken your place you may begin whenever you're ready. Oh! I am required to tell you beforehand that you'll be exposed to a completely non-harmful visual cognitohazard within the testing materials. The watermark pattern in the background of each page is designed to encourage applicants to provide honest and forthright answers."

You can read between the lines of that statement: To just lie or give the answers they want to hear won't work. You don't think saying this brightly and with a smile does much to allay the dubious nature of the idea.

"After you've completed all the questions, please seal the test inside the envelope and I'll bring it down the hall to be reviewed while you wait."

You are surprised that it would be processed so quickly. You comment bemusedly on this exception to the typical slow grind of bureaucracy.

"Haha, no kidding! But the truth is, there's a practical reason for that. As I mentioned, this a very low-profile program; that's part of keeping it as effective as possible. However, that means - should you be deemed unsuitable for the role - you'll have to be given a light dose of amnestication before leaving our offices… But either way you get the rest of today off work!"

Another chipper attempt at alleviating your concerns. You still aren't entirely sure if it's working.

"Naturally I'm not permitted to discuss the contents of the exam at all. But I will be sitting right here in case there's anything else you might need. Good luck!"

You settle into your seat and try to make yourself comfortable. Taking a deep breath, you turn over the papers.

…

Just a few minutes in and you are progressing well through the first section of the exam.

Q.

You have a grounded understanding of right and wrong.

(Yes) / (No)

Q.

You agree with the Foundation's mission to preserve normalcy, contain anomalies, and protect mankind.

(Yes) / (No)

Q.

You believe that actions have consequences.

(Yes) / (No)

You fill out the questions with little hesitation. They do not seem challenging, and this feeling that they can be answered without much thought takes root more firmly within you as you proceed.

Q.

You are a good person.

(Yes) / (No)

Q.

Interpersonal relationships are the most important thing.

(Yes) / (No)

Q.

Sometimes you are a liar.

(Yes) / (No)

…

You glance up at the clock on the wall and see that an hour has passed since you began the test. It felt like hardly any time at all, and only now as you seal the flap of the envelope does it register how strange this is. You think about whether there might be a little more to that cognitohazard than coaxing honest responses.

"Super! I'll just bring this along to the reviewer's office. Please wait right here, this shouldn't take too long."

Could you really have filled out that whole thing without hardly thinking about it? Now, finally sitting alone, your mind works to recall the contents of the test.

Q:

During your orientation at a new Facility, your guide says of the Archival Library equipment:

"There ain't none of them computers what don't never work right."

Assume the statement is accurate.

Inferring grammatically, are the computers functional?

(Yes) / (No) / (Some, but not all)

Was that one of them? You wonder how a thing like that would even be relevant. Testing if you can listen and understand what people are trying to say? Or maybe it was just part of setting you up to answer those later questions.

Q:

Consider the following scenario:

Dr. Judas is a Level-2 Junior Researcher assigned to studying audio- and music-based anomalies.

Dr. Judas has a pleasant demeanor, and no outstanding history of disciplinary transgressions.

You encounter Dr. Judas in the corridor of a Humanoid SCP Containment Wing which requires Level-3 Authorization to access.

How do you react?

(a) Inform Dr. Judas that he is not permitted in this area of the facility and accompany him to the exit.

(b) Ask Dr. Judas what his business is in this area of the facility; if his answer is plausible, allow him to carry on.

(c) Go to report the situation to your supervisor.

(d) Pretend not to recognize Dr. Judas' transgression; secretly monitor his further actions.

(e) Detain Dr. Judas by any force necessary.

Right. Those were the questions that mattered. The ones they would be looking at closely. But wait… Which of those was the right choice? What did they want you to pick? Why weren't you allowed to write your own answer?

Q:

Consider the following scenario:

Security Officer Kohel is a personal friend who has saved your life on a previous occasion.

Security Officer Kohel is overseeing an interview with an uncooperative individual in containment.

You witness Security Officer Kohel using an instance of unauthorized excessive force in order to coerce the interview subject's compliance.

How do you react?

(a) Ignore this interaction.

(b) Speak to Security Officer Kohel about the matter afterwards, but take no further action.

(c) Immediately call for the interview to be terminated.

(d) Report the actions of Security Officer Kohel to your supervisor.

(e) Report the actions of Security Officer Kohel directly to an Ethics Committee representative.

What if you don't even want to do this? How are you already this far in, sitting in here while they have your answers in there? You've heard others talk about the Ethics Committee like it was a joke, but to you right now this isn't really funny at all.

"Okay! There's somebody this way who'd like to see you."

You hadn't even registered the assistant's return, but you are beckoned now toward the doorway into the hall. You wonder whether you will be given a choice in this, as you are led just a few doors down from the previous room. Would it seem suspicious to them if you wanted to say no?

"Just in here; go right ahead."

You walk into the office and find that it is unoccupied. Only once you pass through do you hear the spritz of the aerosol; the vaguely familiar bittersweet scent of amnestics fills your nose.

"I am so sorry for that. But I'm afraid the reviewers have determined that you aren't quite suited for the program at this time. Please, we've a spot you can take a short nap before returning to your home or Site quarters."

You know it's part of the amnestics effect, but a wave of relaxation washes over you. You wonder if there's a part of you that's actually relieved at having "failed" this test. As you are guided to lay back on a small leather couch you consider asking what was wrong with your results. But already things are starting to feel fuzzy in your mind.

As you drift to sleep, you smile and appreciate that you at least get to take the rest of today off work.