Snuggle, Cuddle, and Protect: The Mean Dragon - SCP Foundation

The following document was recovered by Agent ███████ following a vacation in ███████████, Florida:

Document X45-a

"The Mean Dragon"

There once was a dragon that made everyone mad,

He changed his shape just to make people sad!

He'd be mean to everyone! Yes, even you!

Everyone called him six-eighty-two.

One day the big doctor had had enough,

"You're mean and you're smelly,

I'll show you who's tough!"

First he decided to use a big crystal

"I'll freeze and then shatter him with my pistol!"

The dragon's skin showed a quick aversion,

So it stopped at 62% conversion!

Then the big doctor thought, "Hmm.. what to do…

I know I'll use good ol' 162!"

But the mean dragon was too clever for him,

And he attached the big ball to his left fore-limb!

He ran around the big halls and made a terrible mess,

Then he went back to his home under much distress.

The big doctor groaned and he moaned and he stomped,

When he suddenly saw a little agent prompt,

"Sir, I know a way out of this pickle,

We'll just show the dragon the monster that tickles!"

So they sent 999 to deal with their foe,

But 999 didn't want to go,

So they told it the dragon was being too mean,

And it went bravely onto the scene.

It jumped on the dragon, who let out a roar,

But he tickled and tickled and tickled some more,

Then, suddenly, the dragon was giggling,

But the monster just kept on jiggling and jiggling,

Finally the dragon pulled the monster off,

But he did not let out a roar or a scoff,

He said, "Thank you, sir, you're a saviour hereafter,

Cause you have shown me the great gift of laughter."

Area hosting the document was firebombed. All recovered children who had been read the document were recruited into D-class.

Addendum (05-29-2011): Due to frequent requests for an audio form of this report, Research Assistant Corbette and Agent Mao have created a spoken version. Please see Audio Log X45-a.