Free Kleinberg - SCP Foundation

Posts from the reddit thread “Did anyone hear about that time loop town in South Dakota?” on /r/FoundationWatch

This one’s a weird one, guys. Apparently there’s this little town called Kleinberg, pop. 2,300, that’s stuck in the 1920s. The years 1920 to 1928 repeat over and over again. They call it SCP-1309.

RealTwilightZone

Jesus, that sounds horrible. I can’t imagine living 8 years of my life on repeat, with no way out…

idk6942069

No that’s the weirdest part dude. They’re born, they live, they have kids and they die…in those same eight years. So some guy who’s 60 years old will tell you he was born in 1922.

RealTwilightZone

WHAT

THAT’S EVEN WORSE WHAT THE FUCK

FucktheFoundation

I take it this is the part where I learn the Foundation has been keeping them there?

4thwalldestroyed1

Obviously. We have to do something about this guys

idk6942069

Well, you know that anti-Foundation protest in New York?

RealTwilightZone

Yes…?

FuckTheFoundation

Anti-Foundation Protestors Descend On State Capitol Building

The Capitol Journal - January 10, 2018

PIERRE - Braving the cold and rain of the unforgiving South Dakota winter, approximately one hundred protestors gathered outside the State Capitol yesterday to demand the legislature take action to free the affected citizens of Kleinberg, Dewey County (“SCP-1309”) from the jurisdiction of the SCP Foundation. The protest, believed to be organized by the anti-Foundation group “FoundationWatch” on the website “reddit”, was done on the first day of the new legislative session to draw the maximum amount of attention.

Shouting slogans and brandishing placards ranging from crude to noble (the most popular being “F**k the Foundation”, with “Free Kleinberg” in a close second), protestors appealed to the goodwill of the South Dakota legislators.

“These people are trapped in the 1920s but they still have rights,” said one protestor. “If anything, it’s more important to make sure they have their rights protected because they’re a minority. A temporal minority!”

“Fuck them!”

“Doctor Selvece, please keep in mind that-“

“What the hell am I supposed to do, Laura? They CAN’T LEAVE THE TOWN! These idiots on reddit know nothing about this damn anomaly they’re protesting over.”

“I know, sir, and it is frustrating.”

“Life since the breaking of the masquerade has been frustrating. So did you just come in here to give me bad news, or-?”

“Doctor, I finished the report you asked me to write. The long and short of it is that I recommend making SCP-1309 a Semi-Accessible Public SCP.”

“That bad, huh? A bunch of reporters poking around Kleinberg while Site 24 has to track their every move…”

“I agree it is not ideal, but it is a compromise, and seems like the best solution at the present time.”

“Fine. I never thought I’d say this, but I really miss North Korea.”

Amelia Wong did her best not to wince as her interviewee lit another cigarette. One thing she had not considered when the Foundation had allowed reporters into SCP-1309 was that this “town locked in the 1920s” had yet to ban indoor smoking.

“Do you mind if we go over this again?” She asked, doing her best not to let her exasperation leak through her voice.

The man frowned and took a deep drag. “Look, ma’am, I don’t mind talking to you ‘till Judgement Day as long as you keep paying me and foot the bill for our dinners. But I don’t see what the point of this is.”

“Just bear with me, okay?” God, I might prefer an eldritch nightmare to report on over this mindfuck… “So, your name is Martin Smith, correct?”

“Yes, it is. And I was born on October 3rd, 1923, since you’re gonna repeat your questions from last time.”

“Which was two years ago.”

“That’s right. It’s August 31, 1925.”

She sighed and took another sip from her malted milkshake - which, admittedly, was utterly delicious despite the smoke. Things really did taste better back…now. “And you’re thirty-five years old, right?”

“Yes,” Martin rolled his eyes. “Look, those Foundation folks have already pointed out the whole time loop thing. I don’t really see what the big deal is.”

“You don’t…” She visibly struggled for words. “Mr. Smith, it’s only been a few years since our entire perception of reality was changed. The Foundation was responsible for keeping normalcy intact, and they failed. Now the world knows about the plight of Kleinberg, and-“

“Plight?” Martin interjected, slightly annoyed. “You out-of-town folks don’t get it, do you?”

“What is there not to get? You’re trapped here! Your ‘vacations’ don’t exist!”

“And can you give me a single reason why we should get all worked up about it?” He ashed his cigarette and pointed it at her. “Those movies that the culture people brought us. You ever seen ‘The Matrix’?”

She paused. That wasn’t expected. “When I was a teenager, yes. Why?”

“I like it because I think it fits our town pretty well. Kleinberg might not be on the same time as the rest of the world, but it’s real enough for all of us. And I love my town; wouldn’t live anywhere else in this time or yours. So who cares if we’re some ‘anomaly’ or whatnot? This little simulation of ours works fine, and we don’t need saving.”

At the primary SCP-1309 observation room in Site 24, Doctor Selvece smiled warmly. Laura’s hunch was right.

“She’s not getting anywhere, is she?” He asked, more to himself than to Laura.

“Nope,” she nonetheless replied.

“If she accurately reports Mr. Smith’s statements - hell, if all the reporters we've approved do - those protestors should calm down. Nobody in that town wants to be part of the ‘real’ world.”

“And it’s hard to blame them,” Laura added. “This world is pretty messed up, and they’ve got a nice reprieve from it. Even if they could leave for real, they probably wouldn't. The phrase ‘Don’t fix what isn’t broken’ comes to mind.”

Selvece’s expression soured again. “As long as she doesn’t figure out it’s already a bit broken-“

“She won’t.”

Laura was usually right, and there wasn’t any evidence Ms. Wong had noticed the smell of cannabis that had pervaded the diner she was in just hours before. As had been previously documented, SCP-1309 deviated from the norms of the 1920s at irregular intervals, and the deviations seemed to have accelerated upon the revelation of the “future” world. The latest deviation was the legalization of recreational cannabis, passed in the 2014 local elections and going strong with three dispensaries now, five years later.

Three dispensaries…and no opposition. It had taken awhile for Selvece to notice, but the expected “reversion” to previous norms had yet to even begin among the locals. That gave rise to the disturbing hypothesis that SCP-1309 was now permanently incorporating temporally-inspired cultural anomalies.

“Well,” he sighed. “We’re doing the best we can. The Foundation was never meant to operate in public, but…”

“But Safety Continues in Public.” Laura replied with the Foundation’s new motto.

“Yes it does,” he agreed. “Yes it does.”