Serving the Twin Cities Since 2021 - SCP Foundation

PT: Gooood morning everyone, it's your girl, your daily pick-me-up, Pauline Tomlinson. Um, today is August 3rd, 2036, and it's the sixteenth anniversary of the… what're we calling it? Officially, I mean.

PT: A-Day, okay. You know, the apocalypse. And we — no, no, okay, you're right. It was the apocalypse for humans. Things got a lot better for everyone else. Almost everyone, anyways. Still, I mean, we shouldn't minimize the, uh, the loss that did happen. And we'd just like to take a moment of silence for everyone we lost on A-Day, in the months after that… yeah.

…

PT: Alright. Today's high is about 75, not a cloud in the sky, it's really a beautiful day here. As usual you can tune into 91.1 FM to hear a real forecast, 'cause the Contained Zone down in Rochester has their own Doppler, and it should be more or less right for the Twin Cities. We're going to get ours back up and running, but it's a work in progress.

PT: We're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back, I'll have Lenny in the studio with me to talk about his public education project for newfolk and how that's coming along. Gonna be a good time. You are listening to community radio, eight-three-oh, WCCO.

♫ With these, hungry eyes ♪

♪ One look at you and I can't disguise ♫

♫ I've got, hungry eyes ♪

♪ I feel the magic between you and I ♫

PT: … and one problem that people a lot of people are talking about is, we don't know what kind of education the newfolk need.

L: Could you elaborate?

PT: Well, suppose we get past the, all of the language barriers, create things like social studies and history from the ground up, revise physics to answer the obvious questions, and so on. How do we decide on a curriculum?

L: I don't think there's any need to treat the human public schools as any sort of template. If anything, newfolk should use public education as an opportunity to develop communal norms and expectations.

PT: Isn't that what's already happening with the current system?

L: Informally, maybe, but that will happen inevitably when you put so many people in the same place. In the meantime, we're struggling to function as a people, and some form of structured interaction in an 'educational' setting would do much to accelerate the process.

PT: Well, at that point, I don't know if we can call it 'education', so much as some sort of civics pr—

L: There is no 'we' here. No disrespect, Pauline, but you're flesh and blood, while I'm an internet meme carved into a fence post. Our task is fundamentally different than yours. For humans, your goal is to rebuild the society you once had. You have a template to work from.

PT: Well, this is Minneapolis and St. Paul you're talking about. I think it's safe to say the humans who aren't interested in some form of cohabitation going forward have moved to one of the Contained Zones, so I'm not sure that 'rebuilding' is the right way to look at it.

L: Oh, you'd be surprised. Humans are here for all sorts of reasons. But that's beside the point. You have a past you can look to, and ideals you can strive towards, when deciding what kind of world you want to live in. We still have yet to figure out what we need, much less what we want or can have. We're where you were, six thousand years ago.

PT: Well, that's — hold on.

PT: Thank you, Lenny, that's all the time we have for now.

L: It's been my pleasure.

PT: Coming up next we have some more music, and then Stomper Thirteen has his lunch hour. Doesn't say here what it's about, though. Anyways. You are listening to community radio, eight-three-oh, WCCO.

♫ So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out ♪

♪ Allow if you're still alive, six to eight years to arrive ♫

♫ And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow ♪

♪ But if the offer's shunned, you might as well be walkin' on the sun ♫

S13: ☩♯♄☗ ☊ ♨♙⛋☑♠☜☟☑☤♦⛛♃☃☪, but go off I guess. It's not like the ♃⛫♆☒♬☍ is with there, creating us to be ♯☏☾⛛☖. And ♕⛯♣☬ won't pretend that the ☌☞♫☞⛖☁ ☛⛯♠♁☖♤☣♦♅ isn't keeping some ☬⛝♛☗⛻★ locked up with cages too, that's irrelevant to the point I'm with. ☧♁♘☙ ☼ ⛒ ⛼ ★☿⛫☊ ☡♭⛮♨, ☃☇☗☃ ☭⛬♦♨. ☪♰☒♝☯☙ ♯♯⛞☌ ⛝☽⛛♙ ♆⛮ ☄⛌ ⛗⛌★☇⛶ ♜♃♃⛯ ♀⛚☉ ☪☃⛝ ♙♯♢☥☄☙♢♢☾. Are you with this?

S13: And I can only imagine ♛☃☣♡⛼♡☼☯ ⛣☋☚♝♬ ☍♇⛯♇♔☛ with ⛻⛮♩⛰☟☃ ☩☀♬☚ ☥ ♔ only a matter of time. They're suffering huge casualties, ☬♘♠ not a lack of bullets. ☇⛒⛫ ☡⚊♟♨⛕ ♣♠☘☩♁☌ ☏⛚♜ ♣☐☋♧ ☏♀ ☡⛨ ☟♖☓⛬♞ ☌☆☡♙ fundamentally not with the war. The United Front is not concerned with your freedom. The "SCP ☟☡☖⛩ ☢♇♬☀ ⛭♄☚" part would lock us away, and "⛻⛰☁⛊ ☭⛭☖ ☋" would be notwithstanding us.

S13: And so you're asking, "Stomper, ☓♟☭♠ ♟☙ ☿☮ ☡☁ ☜♕♮★☃♠⛻☐☤♙♣ ☒☙⛻♜♗♭☉☉☧☽?" Don't fuck with me, okay? You're all with the ♘☿★♁♘♃♂☽ ☑☼. You know for these cities to only ♝☈☆☿ until ☍♇⛯♇♔☛ doesn't need with a North buffer. St. Paul? Gone. Minneapolis? Gone. If you can talk with ♖ ☦☮♃⛭☜☮☾ ♡♜☞⛖☑ ☜☯☭♬♗, in English, you need to ⛌⛭☥⛗☎ ♅♦♙ ☐ ⛒ ☖ ♖ ☂☫♘☑ ☿♇☒☍☓ ♄☪⛨♜☉ ☬☉⛒♝♚♗ this, because they are all sympathies with the Front. On some ⛰♆♰⚊ ☙ ♩♣☋☙♕♮☍ ☜☟⛞☢ ♮☐♁☈⛚. Bold of ☢⛒☤♔☒♚ ♔♦☑☭ ☓♕⛌☞ ☁♗♰♡☚⛗.

S13: Don't ♡☛☣⛫ like I'm crazy. ⛻♩♮ ☗ ☪♔☜☛♝☈☯☭ is real. ☦☩☩ ⛫♧☄♰☥☍ ♡☗♪♙ ⛩☐ ♯☋♩ ☣⛞ ☧⛞☎☁☯ ☁☭☤♠♢☾ ⛭☏♕☞☛♙. We're all repulsive, get used to it.

S13: What? It has not been an hour. Bullshit. ♜☍☌☮⛌.

S13: Alright, that's all I'm with for now. ⛭☏♕☞☛♙ ⛭☏♕☞☛♙ ⛭☏♕☞☛♙ ⛭☏♕☞☛♙. Tune in tomorrow, same time. Next up is Vanessa's Art Corner, ☃ guest Jason Vang. Community radio, eight-three-oh, WCCO.

♫ That's real, people act a different way with me ♪

♪ I feel that nobody wanna play with me ♫

♫ That's ill cuz they treat me like a stain on they clothes ♪

♪ The industry and my foes, they treat me like I got a red nose ♫

JV: But no, see, you have to keep in mind that they have no conventional neurology, like they're humanoid thoughtforms, sure, but they remained intact despite a total lack of internal structure, maybe even for decades, or centuries, and this disproves—

VG: Jason, for the love of god, nobody cares.

JV: Says you.

VG: Yeah, says me. This is an art show. Last Thursday I talked about a pottery studio in Dinkytown.

JV: Then why did you invite me? I'm not an artist.

VG: All the other people I knew from the Foundation are dead or working for the United Front.

JV: Yeah, I slipped out right after everything went down. Saw the writing on the wall.

VG: That's probably a good idea. You're remarkably coherent.

JV: And you haven't thrown anything at me yet. I think working in memetics messes with your head.

VG: Gee, you think? But we're getting off-topic. The reason I had you on is, one of my sources says you ran with Are We Cool Yet? for a while.

JV: You have sources in Are We Cool Yet?

VG: Where do you think I went after I sent out my 'fuck you'? But that's beside the point. What were you doing there if you're not into art?

JV: They got hold of a huge stock of candy bars. They were frozen in some warehouse out in Montana, I think. I did some work for them, and I got free pickings on top of room and board.

VG: You sold out for candy?

JV: I can get candy anywhere, but when's the last time you had chocolate?

VG: I guess… uh… I think two years ago, one of my neighbors found some in their cellar and gave me some. Before that it's maybe been five?

JV: Exactly. Everyone stress-ate all the good stuff in like two years flat, and the cocoa plantations are still a wreck.

VG: Hmm. I hadn't even thought about that.

JV: I'm sure the Front would've given me a better apartment, but there's no chocolate there.

VG: I just hope you weren't doing anything too, uh…

JV: I helped them make some kind of huge golem thing.

VG: … ethically ambiguous.

JV: I helped figure out the carvings to make it do what they want and think the way they want it to.

VG: Ugh. Vang, you fucking idiot.

JV: What? What'd I do now?

VG: Do you read the news?

JV: Not really.

VG: That 'huge golem thing' destroyed a city in North Dakota and it's on its way to Winnipeg, you dunce.

JV: Huh. Weird.

VG: Wh— how is that 'weird'? What do you mean by 'weird'? Why is that the response?

JV: I don't think that's what they were trying to do with it.

VG: I specifically declined to help with that project because it was fucking insane, on the face of it! Not to mention neither of us are thaumaturges!

JV: Well, first of all, I did, actually, learn magic like ten years ago. Kind of. I can intuit the overall gist of the thrust of it.

VG: Oh. Well. It's still a terrible idea, and you clearly aren't qualified to be messing with that sort of thing.

JV: Yeah, I definitely overstated those. My qualifications, I mean.

VG: Ugh. If it turns out you're responsible for this, I will throttle you.

JV: If it was an insane idea from the start, why are you blaming it on me? Maybe it was going to do that anyways. I'm more of an expert than you are.

VG: Fine. Whatever. Might as well be a fucking mercenary.

JV: Exactly. You want to keep recording or no? I'm getting some kind of angry vibe here.

VG: Let's… doesn't matter. I'm always angry. Let's just do the show.

JV: You good?

VG: Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. What kind of projects were they working on? Are they creating newfolk these days, apart from the golem?

JV: Oh, for sure. I think they got rid of everyone who was like, unsure about the ethics of it. A lot of the guys were like, painters or sketch artists, who made the transition over to making custom consciousnesses as art pieces.

VG: They what?! I left because they even seriously considered doing that. Fuck them.

JV: They're prometheans, through and through. Not slave drivers by any stretch, but definitely prometheans.

VG: God. Fuck. Get me in touch with the ones who got kicked out. I'm going to sort this out.

JV: Uh, I'm not sure if —

VG: That wasn't a request.

JV: Okay, but if I out them on air, that's gonna get back to me.

VG: We can just end the show here.

JV: I guess, or we could wait un—

VG: That's it for Vanessa's art corner, maybe I'll be back next Thursday, maybe I won't. Who knows. If I am, I'll do… something about local bands. No idea who's coming up next. Bye!

JV: Now hold on just a —

VG: Oh, right, right, the callsign. You're listening to community radio, eight-three-oh, WCCO.

♫ Fingertips on my skin ♪

♪ Let the chemistry begin ♫

♫ 'Cause I'm standing right here and my heart is beating ♪

♪ Face to face, 'cause I want the real thing ♫

PT: Well, uh, Vanessa had another 45 minutes scheduled, so we don't really have anything… should I just play music until Riley gets to the studio?

PT: I guess I could do better than that. There's… hold on. There's got to be a newspaper around here somewhere.

PT: Okay, here we go. I know you could always just tune over to 91.1FM to get regional news, but there's always the, uh, local perspective to consider. Like…

PT: Hm.

PT: Fuck this. I don't care about any of this. My neighbors got killed yesterday. I wasn't going to bring it up, but I changed my mind. They were three pop cans, and they were out on a walk, and someone found them in the gutter, crushed like garbage. Pender, Gams, and Warlock, those were their names.

PT: These wars that are going on, I can't get worked up about them, because you know once they're over, there's still going to be senseless violence and slavery, and, and, I don't know, genocide. No matter if humans or newfolk win.

PT: As bad as things were before, there were only so many people you could destroy. But now? There are no limits. Life is so cheap now. If you want the news, here's the news: We haven't seen anything yet.

PT: I'm taking the rest of the day off to plan the funeral. You are listening to community radio, eight-three-oh, WCCO.

♫ Out of the silent planet, dreams of desolation ♪

♪ Out of the silent planet, come the demons of creation ♫

♫ Out of the silent planet, dreams of desolation ♪

♪ Out of the silent planet, come the demons of creation ♫