Source document: https://docs-lawep.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/1697804134161.pdf (India)
Communication Styles Passive Assertive Aggressive General Compliant, submissive, talks little, vague non-committal communication, puts self down, praises others Actions and expressions fit with words spoken, firm but polite and clear messages, respectful of self and others “I don’t mind…that’s fine….yes alright” “That’s a good idea, and how about if we did this too…” or “I can see that, but I’d really like...” Beliefs You’re okay, I’m not I’m okay, you’re okay Has no opinion other than that the other person/s are always more important, so it doesn’t matter what they think anyway Believes or acts as if all the individuals involved are equal, each deserving of respect, and no more entitled than the other to have things done their way Sarcastic, harsh, always right, superior, know it all, interrupts, talks over others, critical, put-downs, patronising, disrespectful of others “This is what we’re doing, if you don’t like it, tough” I’m okay, you’re not Believe they are entitled to have things done their way, the way they want it to be done, because they are right, and others (and their needs) are less important Avoids eye contact, looks down, teary, pleading Warm, welcoming, friendly, comfortable eye contact Narrow, emotion-less, staring, expressionless Eyes Posture Makes body smaller – stooped, leaning, hunched shoulders Relaxed, open, welcoming Hands Together, fidgety, clammy Open, friendly and appropriate gestures Consequences Give in to others, don’t get what we want or need, self- critical thoughts, miserable Good relationships with others, happy with outcome and to compromise Makes body bigger – upright, head high, shoulders out, hands on hips, feet apart Pointing fingers, making fists, clenched, hands on hips Make enemies, upset others and self, feel angry and resentful www.get.gg www.getselfhelp.co.uk/communication.htm © Carol Vivyan 2009, permission to use for therapy purposes