Product: Credit reporting, credit repair services, or other personal consumer reports

On XX/XX/XXXX I tried to unfreeze my credit with Equifax in order to refinance my mortgage. I entered the code Equifax had provided me to do so online, but of course that didn't work. I then called Equifax. No matter whether I call on the weekend or during business hours, it's telephone robot is impenetrable ( in contrast, got through to live people at both XXXX and XXXX ) .The first thing the Equifax telephone robot asks for is my personal cell phone number. How is this even permissibler? I have never given Equifax my personal cell phone number and I have no intention of doing so. Why doesn't it ask for the number I have on file? Which happens to be my home phone number. 
I entered my home number anyway, hoping for the best. I cant tell if this is what causes me to fail Equifax 's verification of identity test ; I fail it every time, because it's broken. It never tells me which questions I fail. I fail it when I request my credit report online from Equifax too, nearly every year. I don't fail the XXXX or XXXX credit history tests! 
Anyway, the Equifax robot then asks me to enter the last four digits of my social security number, my house number and my zip code. Those I can enter with confidence. Then the robot asks me questions about my credit history that apparently I fail. When I called on Saturday, XX/XX/XXXX ( and this happened again on Monday, XX/XX/XXXX ) the robot asked me about auto loans. Is that the question I get wrong? I have never, ever had an auto loan in my life, so I press 5 ( " none of the above '' ). Ive bought my three cars outright, in XXXX, XXXX and XXXX. It asks me about mortgages I might have had in XXXX or XXXX. I dont remember the name of the mortgage companies who had my mortgages eight and ten years ago! Not to mention, even when I had the mortgages, those companies change names all the time. Im not even required to save MY TAX RETURNS for eight or ten years!! How is this question legal?? Then Equifax asks me about merchant credit cards. To my knowledge, the ONLY open credit card I have is my XXXX XXXX XXXX VISA card. Ironically, that is the only card reported when Equifax sends me my credit report! 
The upshot of my XX/XX/XXXX call fighting with the Equifax robot voice was that it offered to send me a code in the mail, since I failed its test and could not talk to a human. THE REASON I WANTED TO TALK TO A HUMAN IS *BECAUSE* I FAIL THE BROKEN TEST! How is it legal to make me pass the test before Equifax is required to service me?? This is a horrible vicious circle. But it's not the only vicious circle through which Equifax puts me. And remember, I was trying to refinance my mortgage, which is a time-sensitive process. 
I got my Equifax code in the U.S. Mail on Monday, XX/XX/XXXX. I entered the code online and it worked. I thought I was home free. However, even though Equifax took the code on its website, and even sent me a confirming email that I had successfully set up an account on " MyEquifax, '' Equifax still wouldn't let me into Equifax.com! So I tried changing my password. Equifax confirmed I successfully changed my password. 
Even so, Equifax still will NOT let me into Equifax.com! Guess what? It told me to call the same customer service number again, with the impenetrable male robot voice. 
Because I am out of options, on the morning of Tuesday, XX/XX/XXXX I call the Equifax customer care number again. No surprise, I can not get a live person. I try and try ; the robot man is, as always, impenetrable. He administers the same identity test to me -- the one I took on XX/XX/XXXX, as described above. No surprise, I fail, because the test is broken and totally unfair. 
So the robot offers to send me another code in the U.S. Mail. I hang up in frustration after spending hours on this. Why should I go in a big circle again and repeat everything I JUST DID over the past 10 days? 
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me. Why does Equifax have NO accountability? 
For what it's worth, I am a licensed attorney who also is a federal employee. I know how to get things done. I get NOWHERE with Equifax.