Product: Mortgage

I am a XXXX XXXX Veteran trying to use a VA Loan to refinance my ex-husband off of the mortgage to my house. We divoced in XXXX and have a Separation Agreement that was filed in the Maryland Courts the day of our divorce hearing. My ex-hustand and I have been amicable through this entire ordeal and have agree to our Separation Agreement from the begining. 
I am trying to refinance with Wells Fargo. I have had to provide a lot of documentation for this process which included my ex having to close a credit card he had my name of ( shocking news ) and hadn't paid since XXXX, our divorce decree, and our separation agreement. My husband also signed, notarized, and mailed back to my Title company the Quitclaim deed. I then met with the title company and signed/notarized the Quitclaim deed so it could be filed/recorded. With every item I have provided the Wells Fargo Loan office, she has come back with another requirement from the VA Underwriters.

There is a part in our Separation Agreement that states, " The ex-wife is to provide the ex-husband half of any monies made from the SALE of the house, up to {$25000.00} ''. I explained to them that I was meant to get {$2000.00} alimony every month, but had already given him back {$19000.00} over the last 3 years. It was none of their business, but I was being supportive and trying to provided repreive where I could ( with each raise ). So based on that if I were selling, which I am not ( I am refinancing ), I would actually only owe him {$5800.00}. When I do go to sell I will indeed give him that as it is in our legally binding separation agreement. They said " no ''. They are assuming I might sell. Again, this is none of their business. They should only be worried that I am good for the loan. 
My ex-husband then write to the loand office, " XXXX, I understand that XXXX is trying to refinance me off of the house. I asked her to do this for me and would like for you to help her do this as a Refi, not a sale. I signed the Quitclaim knowing that this removes me from any rights or obligations to the house. XXXX and I have an agreement in our Separation Agreement that states upon " sale '', XXXX will be me half of the monies gained ( up to {$25000.00} ).  However, as XXXX has paid me {$19000.00} over the last 3 years ( reducing how much she kept from the monthly {$2000.00} alimony ), she would in fact only owe me {$5800.00} upon sale of house. So when she actually sells the house she will make sure to follow our legal, binding agreement. To confirm, it is my understanding that this transaction will be for a refinance of the existing loan, and she is NOT selling at this time. I hope this brings some clarity to the situation, as I understand it to be. 
If you need any further information or statements from me on this matter, please let me know. 
Sincerely. 
ex husband name/sig block '' My loan office got back with me yesterday and said they are only will to go forward if he prints off the email, signs/notarizes it, mails it to me in MD from GA, I do the same, and then give it to them. My divorce Attorney wrote to them saying, " I have reviewed the Separation Agreement. There is no requirement that you pay him {$25000.00} now. A refinance in not a sale of the property. The agreement specifically says " sale ''. Let me know if you need anything else. 
XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX. '' They did not accept this and said, " Who is representing the ex-husband? ". 
The attorney for the Title company said, " It would seem that these underwriters think they are a family law office '' I have multiple issues with what is happening here. 
1 ) Who are they to assume I might sell? It is a refi, not a sale 2 ) My ex is the one pushing this, yet they are ignorning his request 3 ) I went with WF because my mortgage is currently with them and has been for years. I even bank with them. My ex uses XXXX, yet they are treating me like the outsider and a criminal.

4 ) I gave them all of the bank statements showing my giving him money through the years instead of taking his full requirement 5 ) I provided al legal documents 6 ) The Quitclaim being completed by us both in full and recorded should make the above moot. 

Sure I could just go with another bank, but I am completely disgusted how I have been treated through this. I am disgusted that these 2 underwriters are representing the VA and are abusing their position. Their behavior makes me want to NEVER go VA Loan again. I make more than enough money for my mortgage. I think they are just clueless. They questioned my leaving my last job after 11 months. I said, " Well this job was/is a {$40000.00} raise. That's a no-brainer. Now I don't need my ex-husband 's help at all ''. 

I really think that either these 2 Wells Fargo VA Underwriters should no longer be able to act as VA Underwriters or they need to be fired. My ex is sending me that email per their request. In the end I may go to XXXX which will unfortunately cause the Loan Office who has been assigned my mortgage to not get paid anything. This has been going on since XXXX and we are now in XXXX. 

Please provide guidance where you can. My Loan Officer 's  contact information is : XXXX ( i have her full info ) Wells Fargo Home Mortgage XXXX XXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXX XXXX, MD XXXX She has been great, but her hands are tied. She even told them to stay in their lane, but they won't back down on pretending they are lawyers.