Product: Student loan

The last time I tried solving this was XXXX when I ran out of forebearances and couldnt make ends meet because my mom had just been diagnosed with XXXX  XXXX. Before my mom died in XXXX she tried to speak with someone about forgiveness for XXXX to no avail. She was approved XXXX by XXXX  and I have an application for a survivors claim for my underdiagnosed XXXX ( XXXX, XXXX, XX/XX/XXXX, XX/XX/XXXX ) that severely interfered with my ability to work from XXXX going into appeal. I am just now able to maintain full time work again but got insurance to cover my salary if I burn out again, which remains possible and took years and years to stabilize. Theyve bought and traded so many loans I have no evidence any of it is real anymore particularly after the death of my mother coborrower. Im a public servant now and have been providing free legal services to my community since I was licensed in XXXX, yet no relief for me despite living on the poverty line until less than a year ago. I dont know anything about these loans anymore and I am terrified to call or try to work it out. In the past when me and my mom tried around XXXX we were harassed by calls and letters so endlessly as were anyone around us even random XXXX contacts, being told there was nothing that could be done since we had no money ( cancer/poverty ) so wed have to live with it that we surrendered so my mom could die in peace. I paid to go back to community college for years to defer so she wouldnt be harassed so by XXXX, I was completely burned out. The harassment, confusion and suffering would be actionable but Im scared of the dept of education. What will they do to me if I complain? I am trying to buy my first house at XXXX, impossible says the loan officer, the dept of education owns me. Federal help? Not in this lifetime because Im a delinquent. THEY reported all the loans tanking my credit score and costing me jobs, financing, and any security I could use to pay them back. THEY have been putting random loans off and on my credit reports for years torpedoing my scores over and over for XXXX years. They have the power to administrative garnish and yet laches, they just terrorize me with whats the arbitrary balance today. If you look at all their entries on my reports over the years, if it was any other lender we would call it punitive, fraudulent, unreasonable, unenforceable after countless violations of the FDCPA. They have no consequences for violating the law and are immune to suit, how do I even handle such an absurd problem? Id have gone bankrupt years ago to sort it but then Id probably also be homeless because Im trapped renting. I contribute every day to society and always have and I have nothing to show for it at XXXX. How long does my indentured servitude have to go and how long do I have to suffer before its estopped? I have no other debt, I have asked for no handouts or help until recently. I would sue for twice the amount they claim for damages if it was a private lender so what can I even do? Im so old I may never be able to retire Im financially so far behind despite working and volunteering in some capacity for XXXX  years. I would have never agreed to any student loans if I was informed ANY Of the shenanigans were a possibility. At what point does equity matter?