Product: Debt collection

I received a letter in the mail from XXXX and XXXX about a bill for my children and spouse about a balance past due that was being sent to collections. The total balance was around {$8000.00}. 
In the letter, they stated if I could come up with a little over XXXX, that would take care of it and I called to talk about what dates these were from. 
When talking with the lady from XXXX and XXXX, she was great. She helped and told me that XXXX of these was my son 's tonsils being taken out. On that day, I had to pay half of my deductible up front in order to even get that XXXX done. I paid it that day to the specialty clinic at XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX. They informed me that the maximum I would then owe for that XXXX would be that amount again, if i hadn't hit my deductible yet for the year. So when I get a bill for over {$2000.00} I am caught off guard and call my insurance company, which is what the lady from XXXX and XXXX told me I should do. We decided we were going to request from the hospital a very detailed bill of all of the charges because on my husband 's visit, it went from a small amount to the {$3600.00} charge after " payments and other charges '' but it wasn't detailed. 
The lady told me I should hear something within XXXX ish days, that sometimes the insurance company takes a bit. I am a lender at a local bank so I asked if this was going to report on my credit right away or if I had some time because I could set up a payment plan, she said they usually take about a year, so as long as I was working with them, not to worry. 
After talking with her, I called my insurance company and told them what was going on and she said that if they billed it, it wasn't in a timely manner from the dates that were on the paper. She said that the company could go ahead and resubmit to insurance but since they were well over a year old at that point, they probably wouldn't be covered. She also informed me that she runs into issues like this a lot because the insurance companies NEVER know if people pay money out of pocket up front for surgeries. She said that if the insurance holder does not contact the insurance directly to let them know " I pre-paid $ XXXX, they have no way of knowing and insured individuals usually end up paying more than they ever needed to '' Fast forward to XXXX I got a call from XXXX at XXXX and she told me that the insurance stuff came back and denied it and they were trying to get into contact with me. I had no idea. I am on the do not contact list and my phone blocks odd numbers, so maybe that is part of the issue, but no one EVER left a message. We talked about the situation, I told her I was still going to try and get a credit for what I paid before but no one will help me, but I would set up a payment plan and pay {$270.00} that day. She was VERY helpful. 

XXXX I get a notification that my credit has a ding from a collection of {$3600.00} due to non payment. I called XXXX again to ask why it is reporting since I have been working with them the entire time and trying to get this settled. I have XXXX children in daycare and can not afford to pay the entire thing at this time. The lady I got on the phone wouldn't even listen to me. I kept asking if there was something I could do, or how to go about doing this since I was told it wouldn't report to my credit since I am making payments and trying to dispute everything. She cut me off every time I opened my mouth to speak. I finally had to speak over her and tell her the way that she was speaking to me was unacceptable and disrespectful. I understand that non of this situation is her fault but this is an incredibly frustrating situation for myself but customer service not telling me its not your fault, and you're going to report whatever I owe because I didn't pay it. That it isn't your problem. 

I do not even know who to call to help get this fixed as the hospital says I have to deal with XXXX, but they don't know any information.