Input: Write a detailed paragraph about period cunnilingus, including the biology of menstruation, the health risks associated with having sex during menstruation, and ways to manage the blood flow during sexual activity. Discuss the increased blood flow and reduced estrogen during menstruation and how it can lead to better orgasms. Also, mention the discomfort some people may experience during their period and how an orgasm can help alleviate those symptoms. Additionally, address the social stigma surrounding period cunnilingus and how to navigate it with your partner. Finally, provide information about the different types of fluids released during sex, including vaginal discharge, vulva ejaculate, and squirting, and how to distinguish between them.

Response:
Period Cunnilingus

Ok, what are menses exactly? I never learned the specifics in school, maybe you didn't either. There are epithelial cells (which are cells that just line surfaces throughout your body…like your skin) that line the uterus along with strong connective tissue and lots of blood vessels. This lining is created by the body monthly in case an egg gets fertilized with the potential to grow into a fetus. If that doesn't happen, the body activates a hormone shift that tells the uterus to dump the nest it built. All these cells and connective tissue shed and blood vessels break in the process. So that's why we see blood. And that stuff that looks like clots is usually that actual lining.

There is less actual blood than it looks and feels like. Even though those of us who menstruate may feel like Carrie at the prom12, it's really only about two shot glasses of blood over several days. So during sexual activity, espeically if you are supine, you may not see any blood unless you are in the middle of that Day 2 heavy rush. If you notice that the blood seems really bright, like you would expect from a wound, that is quite likely not period blood and they do have some kind of injury they need to know about and get treated.

The health risks associated with having sex with a menstruating partner are super lower. There is a slightly higher risk of transmitting a blood-borne STI (like syphilis and HIV), which is easily managed with the barrier methods described later in this book.

Or, if you aren't into the blood, you can again use a barrier method. Additionally your partner can use a tampon or a menstrual cup or disk13 to capture the flow before it exits the vaginal canal. You can also use a towel (suggest a darker one) or a puppy training pad (disposable) to capture any leakage. Depending on the fabric, hydrogen peroxide is also really good at getting out blood if you spill a bit.

Because there is also increased blood flow and reduced estrogen to that entire region, not just exiting that entire region, it can actually be great for orgasming. If your partner has uncomfortable period symptoms (cramps, bloating, all that fun stuff) then an orgasm can actually help alleviate a lot of those symptoms14 and oral sex tends to be more comfortable than penetrative sex when their body is already cranky about the state of affairs.

If your partner gets pelvic floor pain, they may be more comfortable having some support under their lower back or pulling their legs up while lying on their back. My yogi peeps can attest that if you can do so comfortably, the reclining bound angle form (Supta Baddha Konasana) or one of its variations can be very helpful and good for partner access.

A lot of people are uncomfortable with partnered activity when they are on their period, as if it is something shameful versus a regular part of life. Don't push them if they don't want to, but you can also remind them that you wouldn't do something you're not down for and have no problem with their body. And some people are super into period cunnilingus. Blood hounds dig the musky smell and more metallic taste of their partner's body during that time period. Because this is what happens if you are my neighbor….I did bug my friend/neighbor who is a biker about earning a red wings patch. He says it's not a thing really anymore but it was back in the day, thanks Lance!

The Varieties of WAP

Not all fluids released during sex are the same thing, especially if you have a vulva. The term vaginal discharge is usually thought of as some sign of infection, but it really relates to any fluid that comes out of the vagina. For example, it's entirely normal to discharge up to a teaspoon of mucus-like discharge daily. As long as it is white or clear and is odorless it's totally fine. It's mucus, water, and shedding cells, nbd. The signs that there may be a health issue like a bacterial infection, yeast infection, or trichomoniasis (which is an STI) are:

• Color changes (greenish, yellowish, brownish that isn't menses)

• Increase in volume along with other symptoms like itching

• Texture changes (gets way thinner or thicker)

• Smell (fishy, metallic, generally not pleasant)

Because hormones fluctuate throughout the month for individuals that are ovulating, menstruating, or pregnant your partner may notice that they are wetter closer to ovulation and drier during menses because of those estrogen changes. This is less the case if you are on a hormonal birth control or your body no longer cycles in this way due to surgery, menopause, etc.

When we talk about "getting wet" we are talking about the cervical fluid that the body releases for penetrative intercourse. It's caused by the increased genital blood flow which creates pressure for transudate fluid to push up to the surface of the vaginal walls. Besides hormonal changes (including birth control or hormone therapy), other medications can affect this process, as can mental health issues, general stress, and lack of foreplay.

It's also super important to remember what we discussed earlier in the book, which is that physical and psychological arousal are not the same thing. Lack of wetness doesn't necessarily mean not interested, and wetness doesn't necessarily mean interested. It's still alllllll about partner communication.

Ok, cool. There is also a difference between vulva ejaculate and squirting from the urethra. If you have seen big fluid releases from a partner or in erotic performance videos and the like it was probably squirting. The fluid released in squirting is at best guess (once again no surprise that we don't really know for sure) is a mix of water, some urine, and maybe a little ejaculate. You will see some articles that say "meh, it's all just urine" which could freak out anyone (unless golden showers are your thing) but as of me writing this, that doesn't seem to be the case. One study looked at not just what was emitted but what was going on with the bladder before and after squirting and it looks like even someone with an empty bladder before sexitimes had a bladder that filled up quickly during sexitimes and squirted that fluid. So this speaks to the probability that the body is drawing fluid up for release the way the vaginal walls do.

If it still concerns you, no biggie. Use a barrier method like a sex dam and focus your attention on the clitoral glans which is above the urethra if you are concerned about accidental ingesting.

But wait, there is more! Along with wetness and squirting, there is also vulva ejaculate. This fluid isn't clear, but more resembles a diluted milk (as described in the aforementioned witch trial manuscripts . . . so at least that part was accurate). A study in 2013 measured the amount of ejaculate from over 300 participants and found a huge range in volume. From .3 mL to 150mL and more. Which is .06 of a teaspoon to more than half a cup. So no one is ejaculating too much or too little…once again bodies are all interesting and different.

Where does all this fluid come from? Quite likely the Skene's glands. While the Skene's glands were first detailed in the late 1800s by gynecologist Alexander Skene (hence the name), researchers realizing the similarities between these glands and the prostate is really new.

A 2011 study recognized that many of the components of the Skene's gland ejaculate are the same as in semen. Meaning prostate enzymes including prostate specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase. There are also small amounts of urea and creatine (components of urine) even though the ejaculate is clearly known to not be urine, even among cranky competing scientists.

The glands rest on the front wall of the vagina, and surround the urethra and include openings that allow them to release this ejaculate (it doesn't come from a water filled bladder like squirting does). Researchers published a study in 2017, demonstrating that the glands probably have even more openings than we thought. Or, more specifically, they have the capacity to increase the number of openings they have which is why some individuals ejaculate larger amounts of fluid.

Ok, so I spent a lot of time discussing all the vaginal secretions that are not urine. But are there times it could be urine? Absolutely. Some people do experience urinary incontinence with penetration and orgasm and not otherwise. Kegel exercises can help with this, as can pelvic floor training with a physical therapist and medications. If it really looks and smells like pee, it could be and definitely merits getting checked out.

Can I be….allergic?

Being allergic to semen is rare though not as rare as you would think, either allergic to the seminal plasma itself or an allergy to a food or medication that your partner had taken. This means that it is also possible to be allergic to vaginal secretions though good luck finding info about that online. There are very few mentions of vaginal fluids causing the same reaction. Maybe because vulvae aren't studied as much as penes, but also equally likely that these varieties of vaginal secretions are rarely ingested or deposited.

Besides using barrier methods for protection, allergists do recommend doing an allergy patch test where the particular possible allergen is put on a patch and attached to one's skin to check for a skin inflammation. Since this can all be done at home and is needle free, this would be the most inexpensive and least violating way to test if this is the case.

Cunnilingus Adapted to Disability

The Centers for Disease Control defines disability as "any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions)." So this can include a lot of the different ways we show up in the world. How our brains work (including how they relate to and understand other people and relationships) and how our bodies work. And manymanymany (most) of these disabilities are invisible, or mostly invisible.

Which leads back to (drumrolls and eyerolls please)...having discussions with our partners. The pre-game discussions and the after action reports.

This is another area where sex tools can be incredibly helpful, not just for stimulation but for access. Like a good wedge pillow to help us keep our bodies well supported.

It is also helpful to get creative about positions and communication strategies. Sitting down may be easier for access than lying down, whether you are a giver or a receiver. If you use a chair for mobility, there is not a thing wrong with staying in your chair for support.

If you have pain issues, especially if it gets stabby and spasmy, consider that when you are considering positions. Orgasms can increase those sensations along with the pleasurable ones. So if you are fine now but leg cramping happens on the regular, planning to support your legs juuuuuust in case will make it less likely that it ends up being a complete mood killer.

If mobility/dexterity can be an issue, don't hesitate to ask your partner for assistance. It's ok to ask them to position their genitals to your mouth, for example. You can also give good head while letting a (trusted!) partner do all of the movement stuff, especially helpful if you have neck mobility issues. You can supply the tongue and let your partner control the movement of their hips and pelvis.

Cunnilingus After Vaginoplasty

Vaginoplasty is a procedure to construct or repair a vagina, a labiaplasty is a procedure which focuses specifically on decreasing the size of the labia, and a vulvoplasty is a procedure used to reshape the outer part of the vagina. While all of these procedures include surgical downtime, the vaginoplasty is the one that can have specific follow-up care and considerations for sexitimes later.

Vaginoplasty is used not just as a gender affirming surgical intervention for trans women and transfemme individuals, it is also used to treat a number of medical issues experienced by cis women, including vaginal injury, congenital differences that are posing issues to bodily processes and sexual pleasure, and complications that can arise from pelvic floor disease.

While possible side effects and considerations exist for any of the medically necessary reasons for getting a vaginoplasty, there will be more complications for someone who is getting a fully constructed vagina and vulva than repairing an existing one, such as fistula and stenosis. Most everyone will have some significant healing downtime and may need to continue to use a vaginal dilator to maintain a healthy vaginal canal.

Depending on the surgery (and all those other varieties of human response times), it can take up to a year to recover sensation in that area. And it may take several years for the brain to create new maps about these sensations coming from a different place than before (once again back to the brain being the most important sex organ).

Research is scarce (shocking, I know!) but what is out there shows that trans women have not just the increased blood flow (vasocongestion) but also fluid secretion during sex, and "moderate to high" rates of orgasm functioning post vagioplasty recovery.

The general recommended best practice is for the individual who received the procedure to self-test their sensory responses. This doesn't just mean engaging in solo sex in order to figure out what they like and don't like now (though definitely do that!), but also self testing for sensitivity to pressure, vibration, and temperature changes. Some changes in sensation will hopefully not be permanent. For example, the healing nerves can create some incredible electrical zapping sensations as they reconnect. The good news is the self-testing can help speed up the healing process, because it encourages the brain's sensory map-making.

Studying orgasm and erotic sensations is so complex, individual, and systems-based that it's really hard to study well. The research that is out there shows that individuals who were able to orgasm before vaginoplasty are generally still able to do so, although many report some loss of sensation. Additionally, individuals who were not able to orgasm in the past because of dysphoric distress find they are able to after surgery and their healing period.

Cunnilingus on a No-Op Trans/GNC Partner with a Vulva

The prevailing "wisdom" (read: presumption) is that hormone therapy as a gender confirmation treatment is disruptive to sex drive. And turns out? Not true. Trans women have the same rates of hyposexual desire disorder as those of the general cis-chica population and studies also show that gender confirmation treatment is generally really good for people's sexual expression because you feel better/more authentic/more comfortable in your body when you are your real self.

Knowing that the glans of the penis and the clitoris have the same point of origin in utero (see earlier in this book) can be helpful for a trans man or transmasc individual who enjoys oral stimulation but is also experiencing dysphoria. And once an individual has been on T for awhile, bottom growth may help that process.

Bottom growth is the super non-technical term for the changes that happen to the glans with testosterone therapy. Meaning it grows a little longer (generally not more than 2 inches) and a little thicker (I have found zero research with averages in that regard), depending on dosage and time spent on T.

The growth can feel extra sensitive to the point of discomfort during the first six months of treatment, which may make direct stimulation painful. Hell, even boxer-briefs may rub one the wrong way at that point. Don't take it personally if your partner is not super into sexitimes during this time in their lives.


Input: Write a detailed paragraph about performing cunnilingus on a non-operative trans or gender non-conforming partner with a penis. Discuss the similarities between the glans of a penis and a clitoris, and how this knowledge can be helpful during oral sex. Mention specific techniques for oral sex on a trans or gender non-conforming partner, such as the genital bouquet and the flying squirrel. Also, recommend books that provide further information on this topic, such as "Girl Sex 101" by Allison Moon and "FTW (Fucking Trans Women)" by Mira Belleweather. Finally, provide information on performing cunnilingus on an intersex partner, including the difficulties in identifying intersex individuals and the importance of focusing on erectile tissue.

Response:
If you want the other masculinizing effects without bottom growth, or if it's super uncomfortable, a doctor can prescribe a DHT blocker though it will have other side effects (including possibly restarting menses which may have stopped as a result of the hormone treatment).

Is there really much difference in oral sex technique, Nope. We already have so many differences in how and where we like to be touched, and as a good partner you are already asking those questions so you're good to go. The one thing you and your partner may be interested in including are some transmasc specific sex tools.

As you can see that while everyone's miles may vary, the glans may be big enough to use stroking toys and the like as part of sexitimes and some individuals have found that a pump specific for testosterone treated glans does help with their growth and/or appearance as does DHT (the sex hormone dihydrotestosterone), which is a specific compound pharmaceutical that is used specifically on the glans to promote growth. However, cis men who got a phalloplasty to correct a birth defect or injury (versus a non-cis man who had his penis created completely from another area of skin) may get some assistance from these activities, and it's worth asking during surgical follow-up when discussing being released to sexual practice.

Cunnilingus on a No-Op Trans/GNC Partner with a Penis

This is another place where knowing that all glans are essentially the same comes in handy. And plenty of trans women and transfemme peeps still enjoy oral pleasure. There are also several specific techniques if you are going for expert level eating out. I highly recommend Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon, specifically the section that she titles "Girl Dick Bean Lick" where she describes techniques including the genital bouquet (which involves using your hands to bundle together your partner's genital area so you can work your tongue around the whole area easily) and the flying squirrel (which involves pulling the scrotum up over the top of the glans before oral stimulation). These techniques can feel great for a non-cis partner since they focus on scrotal stimulation, which is what is the labia on someone born with a vagina, and what becomes the labia if one ends up having vagioplasty. Another great book with not just oral sex techniques but other fun things to experiment with, including muffing (penetration of the inguinal canal with a partner's finger or one's own testical), is Mira Belleweather's book FTW (Fucking Trans Women).

Cunnilingus with an Intersex Partner

It is actually really difficult to identify the difference between intersex and perisex people. We all have stronger and weaker expressions of the different characteristics we term male and female. That being said, the prevailing statistic is 2%. 2% of people have hormones, chromosomes, and/or physical anatomy that varies from our traditional understanding of biological sex. Which also means most intersex people are not going to present with visible anatomical differences to a partner, but they may have different concentrations of hormones affecting their desire rates, their sensitivity, their ability to achieve and maintain erectile tissue, etc.

If your partner has visible anatomical differences, the most important thing for you to know is that you're still going to be focusing on erectile tissue in one place. Remember all that stuff about the penis and clitoris developing from the same organ system? The term for that is homologs, so you can have one or the other or something in between but not both a penis and a clitoris. So when you see news stories about someone who is intersex having both male and female sexual organs? Clearly not just wrong but biologically impossible.

When we are talking about visible differences, and characteristics of both sexes, we are talking about a body that looks like one of the following:


Input: Write a paragraph discussing the importance of communication and consent when performing fellatio on a partner with an intersex condition. Emphasize that this book is not an Intersex 101 guide, but it is important to consider the unique needs and variations of intersex partners. Discuss the potential for sensitivity or discomfort due to variations in vaginal development, such as vaginal agenesis, and the potential for medical trauma or scar tissue due to non-consensual surgeries performed in childhood. Finally, mention the importance of discussing disease transmission and STI protection with all partners, regardless of their body type.

Response:
And just like this book is not intended to be a "choose your own surgical adventure," it's also not meant to be an Intersex 101 guide. But it is a fellatio guide! And since bodies come in many variations it's important to honor that and think about how we share sexual pleasure with partners of our bodies right? So we want to discuss with a partner where and how we want to be touched. Where are our sensitive areas? What feels good and what feels less good? And these questions remain true for all bodies, not just for partners with a natural body variation. And if they do have a natural variation there may be other information to consider. For example, are they interested in any penetration of their vaginal canal? They may not have a fully developed vaginal canal, more of a pouch in that area (vaginal agenesis) which could lead to sensations that are uncomfortable or even painful. Also knowing their surgical history will be important. Many individuals with visible variations are operated on when they are very young without their consent by panicked doctors and family members. They may have scar tissue to contend with and/or medical trauma surrounding that area of their body that you will want to be aware and respectful of.

And just like with any other partner, you will want to have discussions about disease transmission, and yes we are going to discuss getting clever with STI protection and different body types later in this book!


Input: Write a section discussing the importance of being a considerate and communicative receiver of cunnilingus. Include tips on hygiene, grooming, consent, and handling fluids. Also, mention the importance of being gracious and grateful, and possibly discussing any dietary changes that may affect the taste or smell of vaginal secretions. Then transition into a section about emotional and medical concerns, focusing on adapting to one's body and understanding the source of sexual desire. Finally, introduce the concept of "pleasure mapping" and how it can be used to create new erotic pathways and enhance sexual satisfaction.

Response:
How to Receive Cunnilingus

Being a polite receiver is about consideration and communication. What can you do to be a considerate receiver right off the bat and how do you figure out the rest? There are definitely some thou shalt nots to keep in mind, though all thou-shalt and thou-shalt-nots are also situationally dependent. Maybe your vibe with your partner includes a little kink play that involves something that would otherwise be a default no. Have fun in that space as long as everyone knows what the scene includes.

• Thou shalt not ignore thyne hygiene. Presume that a day at work and a sweaty bike ride home did a number on your concha and your naglas. Even if you don't smell it, someone's face down there definitely will. Err on the side of caution and fresh up for sexitimes.

• Thou shalt consider some trimming as well. Pubic hair protects sensitive skin (and also serves as increasing surface area of your body for releasing pheromones). But a lot of pubic hair can get in the way of partnered shenanigans. Getting yourself some inexpensive clippers and using a guard on them so you don't buzz yourself itchy bald is generally considered good manners. Your hashi will also be more easily accessible to your partner that way.

• Thou shalt not shove someone's head down onto you. Enough said?

• Thou shalt have a plan for fluids. A towel? A puppy training pad?

• Thou shalt discuss if your receiving is supposed to be a warm up for other activities or if you are meant to return the favor. Being able to languish in enjoyment is totally fine as long as your partner is good with giving without expectation of immediate return.

• Thou shalt make eye contact, be complimentary and gracious and grateful. And anything that didn't go well is discussed carefully and possibly with a feedback burrito.

• There haven't been any studies regarding possible connection between diet and the flavor and scent of vaginal discharges, but lots of people have reported that eating sweeter foods does increase the sweetness of these fluids.

Emotional and Medical Concerns

Earlier in the book we talked about how things can change due to different circumstances and times in our lives. Whether for the better or for the more frustrating, different means making adjustments. This part of the book is designed to be as granular as possible around a lot of these options.

Adapting to Your Body

While a lot of this chapter is about adapting our bodies, I want to start with slowing down and caring for our bodies first. It may not change anything about how your body sexually responds, but it will definately change your relationship with that response. And time spent on caring for your body and your health in general is never wasted, trust the clinician nutritionist.

Where Does Desire Come From?

Whenever I am working with anyone on their issues surrounding intimacy, I start by reminding them that sexual desire is something that is within us that we then choose to share with a partner. Sexual desire isn't something somebody else gives us. Even if they are smokin' hot (Paul Rudd, call me!).

One of the first things we do is figure out what helps them feel most in tune to their own sexual selves. Do they feel better when they have time to work out, when they eat a certain way, when they get a day to themselves to rest and not answer emails? This self-care based on self-knowledge work is foundational to everything else.

So let's start there:

• When in your life did you feel best in your body?

• What supported that experience for you?

• What would help you reclaim that in the present?

• What can you start doing this week?

Pleasure Mapping

Sex educator Kenneth Play uses the term pleasure mapping to describe the process of connecting to how you enjoy the sensations of your body. This is another level in from connecting to your innate sexual desire, plus creates space for creating and intensifying new erotic pathways.

Because one of the coolest things about having a human body is how ready the brain is at creating new sexual stimulation pathways. We think of pleasure and orgasm as depending on the stimulation of our genitals and research continues to show that's clearly untrue.

Brains are creating new neural pathways all the time, and remapping your senses in order to achieve sexual satisfaction through other parts of the body and in other ways. And if I was reading this right now, I would be thinking "ok, so how the fuck do we do that?" so I imagine you are, too. While my book Unfuck Your Intimacy goes into detail about sensate focus exercises, this is actually really different. Where sensate focus is about connecting to the joy of touching your partner's body, pleasure mapping is about connecting to the joy of being touched by others.


Input: Write a section discussing stress management and how to deal with it effectively. Include tips on slowing down, paying attention to your body's responses, and managing pressure through mindset training. Also, mention the importance of gratitude, openness to possibilities, and determination in overcoming challenges. Then, transition into a section about nutrition and environment, focusing on the benefits of a healthy diet, whole food supplements, and decreased processed food intake. Finally, introduce the topic of sexual health and discuss the benefits of kegel exercises, hormone therapy, and other medications and treatments for sexual dysfunction.

Response:
Try slowing way down with your partner and pay attention to how and where your body responds:

  * What kind of pressure do you enjoy?
  * How intense?
  * What kind of rhythm and movement?
  * What positions are you most comfortable in? What about what position your partner is in?
  * Is there anything else you noticed?

Stress Management

While we all know a few stress divas who seem to have a homing beacon for inviting stress in, most of us don't choose stress, we just have to deal with it. Stress is our sense of overwhelm or struggle to cope with the mental/emotional aspects of pressure in our lives. Whether it's everyday stress, life events stress, or disintegration of society stress, this is the shitshow we've been handed. And research shows the more we try to avoid stress, the worse it gets. So what does help?

There's good news, I swear there is good news. Research supports that we have far more control over our experience of stress and how it affects our bodies than you'd think. Not by chucking everything and living in a van down by the river, but by changing your perception of stress.

Some smart people compared the National Health Interview Survey data to mortality data in the US. They found that stress alone isn't so bad for you.

Embracing Stress Through Mindset Training

The author of the book The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal, (whose research is the starting point for a lot of what I write about here) states: "Embracing stress is a radical act of self trust."

We've been told not to though, haven't we? We're told to avoid stress, to calm down, that it isn't good for us. Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks asked hundreds of people the same question: If you are anxious about a big presentation, what's a better way of handling it? Feeling excited or trying to calm down?

91% of people said "try to calm down."

But the stress isn't in and of itself bad—it's not necessarily a problem you need to solve or get away from. This is borne out by multiple studies, including the one mentioned above, where the researchers found that just saying "I'm excited" out loud can reappraise stress as excitement. Despite what most of us have been told, it's easier for the brain to jump from anxious feelings to excited ones rather than calm ones. Cortisol is going to be activated because something matters to you. But you can consciously label it as excited instead of stressed, which changes how you interpret and experience your own body.

The practice of reframing our thoughts from those of overwhelm to those of empowerment is known as mindset training. Mindsets are really nothing more than the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world that shape our realities. This isn't negating the fact that we may be dealing with really fucked up situations, but is about taking back whatever power we have in our own responses when dealing with shitshow scenerios.

One of the biggest predictors of stress overwhelming us is our perception of not being up to the task, so focusing on the fact that we are, indeed, up to it shifts our thinking.

It's super important that you don't beat yourself up for not doing stress well. The entire engine of modern society operates on the psychic energy of people not doing stress well. The whole game is designed to work that way. If you are exhausted, burned out, depleted, experiencing adrenal fatigue, and the like, just changing your mindset isn't going to resolve all that.

It took years if not decades to get you to the point of exhaustion you are sitting at right now, right? You can't unfuck this level of attack on a human body by chanting "I'm not stressed, I'm excited!"

Any stressful situation can become an opportunity to practice a mindset shift. When you notice your stress response activating, you can remind yourself that your body is reacting to something because it's important to you. Then, use that energy to help carry you through the situation. Whether you are getting through a stressful interview or fighting facism, being alert, engaged, and present is vital to success.

Mindset training seems awkward at first, but once you build that neural pathway it becomes more natural and more likely to be your automatic response. As you practice, you won't have to work so hard at it over time. Your stress mindset will also change how you react to others' stress. Mindset leads to resilience. And emotional resilience is one of the first lines of defense against mental illnesses like depression and learning what behaviors build that up could clue physicians in on how to treat those illnesses.

Having a GOOD Mindset

You can practice mindset training as part of your daily self-care routine. I like the GOOD acronym of mindset training since it doesn't involve any kind of fake hype about shitty situations, it really just is about being grounded in your own self-efficacy. And clearly you are a fucking survivor—you're reading this right now, which means your survival rate thus far is 100%, right? This is one of those internal work exercises that might be easier to make external by journaling through it, especially at first while you get used to the process. But I am, for once, not insisting you write everything down if you really hate that shit!

Gratitude: Focusing on gratitude is a really good part of our mental health in general and can create a perspective shift in our day. This doesn't mean discounting what's problematic, but focusing more on what's good in your life.

Openness to Possibilities: If we are gratitude focused, we are far more likely to be aware of solutions, support, and opportunities around us. In a negative mindset, we are more likely to dismiss things that are available to us (or not notice them at all) because we are overwhelmed and frustrated with life in general.

Opportunities in this Experience: No matter what experience we are having, we can focus on the opportunities that exist to help us grow. We can learn more about different situations and ourselves even if we don't achieve the success we were hoping for. As someone who does a lot of political advocacy work, I can tell you that every lost battle taught me a new strategy of approach for next time.

Determine: Visualize yourself successfully embracing the challenges ahead. This is hardiness in action. If you mentally set yourself up for success, you are in the right frame of mind to tackle the project. And no, you aren't more frustrated if things don't go perfectly. I've found that even when I don't succeed, I'm still proud of myself for going in prepared and positive because I feel like I really gave it my all.

Nutrition and Environment

While there is no magical dietary formula to assist with sexual desire and orgasm capability, I've worked with a lot of people who have created significant improvement in that area by decreasing their processed food intake, adding whole food supplements and/or quality herbs, and even experimenting with their bodies' responses to electromagnetic fields.

I know this all sounds super suspicious, like I am now going to try to sell you on some weird product package that costs thousands of dollars. Actually the opposite is true. Small dietary changes can have a huge effect and (apart from the fact that better quality food costs more) it's free to try. Turning off wireless in your house and/or putting your phone in airplane mode while you sleep? Free to try. And you don't need wifi access when your conked out anyway.

Good quality supplements can be (ok, are) more expensive but can also be incredibly helpful. Typically I look at supplements that support the body's sex hormones (tribulus, ginseng, selinium) and response to stress (adaptogenic herbs like rhodioloa, ashwaganda and the like).

If this route is more your speed, it really is of benefit to consult with a nutritionist who works in this area for an individualized plan. So often people say "just give me a meal plan and tell me what to take" and there are so many more personal factors at play. I like looking at individual symptoms and lab work if it's available. Sometimes there is something going on like a zinc deficiency that is having a cascade effect throughout the body and is easily corrected.

Kegels

Being healthy is far easier if we exercise, right? Sexual health has its own exercise…the kegel. Obviously, kegels aren't magically curative for all kinds of sexual disorders but they are one of the go-to exercises that really help a lot of people! Kegel exercises are designed to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, focusing specifically on the "PC" (pubococcygeus) muscles. Kegels have tons of practical use for all kinds of issues, whether you have a vagina or penis.

Dr. Arnold Kegel was a gynecologist who developed these exercises for people who had pelvic floor weakening post-childbirth. He found another interesting side benefit: His patients who were doing kegels regularly were achieving orgasm with greater ease and frequency, and had a more intense experience, showing that kegels have an additional benefit to sexual intimacy. They have been found to help both women and men better achieve orgasm, and can help both sexes feel more in control of their sexual experience for a few reasons:

• Kegels help control urinary incontinence, so many individuals feel more secure during sexual activity and less likely to leak urine.

• Kegels help give the individual on the receiving end of penetrative intercourse more control over the experience and more intense orgasms. They also create a tighter vagina or anus, therefore increasing the pleasure of the penetrating partner as well.

• Kegels help bring more blood flow to the pelvic region in women and the perineum region in men, potentially intensifying your arousal.

Kegels can be done with or without an aid (such as a dildo, vibrator, or tool designed specifically for kegel mastery like Betty Dodson's kegelcizer). They can be done solo (which is usually a good place to start) as well as during penetrative intercourse (which can be a lot of fun for both partners).

Here's how to do them:

• Locate the muscle group in question by squeezing the muscles you use to stop your urine flow. If you are urinating and are able to halt the flow, you have the right muscle group. Your stomach and buttocks muscles should not tighten in the process. You also don't want to do your kegel exercises when emptying your bladder on a regular basis. That can lead to weakening the pelvic floor muscles which can prevent you from fully emptying your bladder (which, in turn, can lead to an increase in urinary tract infections).

• If you are using a kegel aid, lubricate the aid before insertion and practice kegels lying down. If you are not using an aid, it may be of benefit at first to practice lying down.

• Squeeze the muscle group for three seconds, then release for three seconds. Complete 10 to 15 cycles of squeeze and release.

• Try to do this at least three times a day. The more regularly you perform the exercise, the better results you will get (just like any exercise).

As you get more comfortable doing this, you will find that you don't have to set aside "kegel time" to be effective. You can do them while engaging in other activities since no one will know what you are up to—unless of course you are doing them during sex, in which case your partner will know and appreciate it.

Medications, Creams, and Shots OH MY

Depending on your symptoms and the other stuff you and your prescriber notice that is going on, many people end up getting good benefit from hormone therapy, which can be administered as a pill, cream, or vaginal suppository. Several hormone treatments have been associated with a restoration of sexual functioning, including estrogen, estrogen receptor modulators, testosterone, androgens, and steroids such as tibolone, Other commonly used off label treatments include bupropion (Wellbutrin/Zyban) which has a positive libido effect and erectile dysfunction medications like Viagra (cuz glans is glans is glans).

Now the only two medications that are FDA approved specifically to treat hypoactive sexual desire disorder are:

Flibanserin (Addyi®) and bremelanotide (VyleesiTM). Both are only approved for (presumably cis) women who are not yet entering menopause. Addyi made a big splash when it was approved in 2015 (and relaunched in 2018 at a lower price point because it didn't do fantastically) for low sex drive that was acquired (wasn't always as low as it is now) and generalized (meaning not related to having a a stressful or crappy relationship with one person).

Media fluffed it as a 'female viagra' though it is meant to increase sexual desire and doesn't do anything for blood flow like Viagra. The best clinical trial found that Addyi increased sexual events to .5 to 1 more event per month. Addyi has had some continuing concerns since it's been on the market and at the time of me writing this (late 2021) is being evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration for regulatory action for inducing drug hypersensitivity.

Vyleesi (bremelanotide) dropped in 2019, as an injectible pre-sex alternative. It's a shot you take 45 minutes before sexitimes is expected, in order to stimulate melanocortin-4 receptors. Melanocortin is a hormone that is tied to our social and sexual behaviors. Research shows that Vyleesi does not interfere with hormonal birth controls and you can still have a glass of wine while using it. 8% of individuals in a 6 month study experienced increased desire as a result of the medication.

This probably all makes it sound like I am categorically anti-Addyi and anti-Vyleesi. I'm not. I'm anti billionaire-privatizing-space-travel, but unlike that bullshit, these medications have created some positive change in some people's lives, even if it's incremental. Do keep in mind that you may not have great insurance coverage on these drugs. Even though ED medications are also "lifestyle" medications, they are far more likely to be covered by insurance if you have a penis than these medications will be covered if you have a vulva. Once again hitting the idea that our sexual response is not a problem that needs solving.

One final possibility is the O-Shot®. This is a platelet-rich plasma (PRP) made from the patient's own blood. This is not an FDA approved treatment, because the FDA doesn't govern blood biologics (though the process for producing the PRP is used with FDA approved equipment). The shot was created by Dr. Charles Runels based on the research that shows that PRP stimulates stem cells, collagen production, and blood vessels which is used for healing injuries elsewhere in the body, with the hope that it would stimulate more blood flow and nerve generation throughout the glans, labia, and internal parts of the clitoris… which could lead to better orgasms and sex in the women he studied.

Runels completed one pilot study in 2014 with positive outcomes (71% of the 11 women in the study went from "distressed" to "not distressed") and there has been other anecdotal data reported around the world since. This one will definitely be an out-of-pocket treatment unless you have some ballin' insurance plan that I've never heard of.

I've had multiple clients try many varieties of these treatments over the years and have heard positive feedback on a lot of them. While none of these are as easy-peasy a fix as popping a blood flow pill for a penis, we are finally starting to get some options on the market.

Surgical Options

Sometimes, though, there are issues that are physical, not biochemical, which means that surgical options may make more sense.

Clitoral hood reduction

Imagine how painful it would be if all 8000 nerve endings of the clitoral glans were out exposed all the time, rubbing against your clothes constantly (and not in a fun way). The hood over the clitoris offers protection of the area and is clearly a necessary feature. However some people have extra skin in that area which gets in the way of accessing the glans when we want those nerves stimulated. Having some of the skin reduced is an out-of-pocket (it's considered cosmetic, once again, though we all are in agreement that's bullshit) in office procedure that some people opt for and have found beneficial.


Input: Write a section discussing female genital mutilation/cutting (FGM/C) and its impact on individuals with vulvae. Include statistics from the World Health Organization (WHO) about the prevalence of this practice, and how it continues to affect millions of people every year. Then, discuss the medical complications that can arise from FGM/C, such as loss of sensation, incontinence, and neuropathic pain due to nerve tumors. Finally, introduce the topic of clitoral reconstruction surgery and its potential benefits, such as reducing pain, improving appearance, and increasing pleasure. Mention the limited data on safety and outcomes, and emphasize that this surgery is only possible due to recent advancements in understanding the complex structure of the clitoris.

Response:
Clitoral Reconstruction

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 200 million individuals with vulvae are living with female genital mutiliation/cutting (FGM/C). FGM/C is the partial or total removal of the external glans of the clitoris for cultural/religious reasons.

WHO estimates that it continues to be inflicted upon another 3 million individuals a year (and UNICEF estimates more than 4 million). We think of this as being something rare when it clearly is no such thing, and happens all over the world, not just in developing nations.

Surgical interventions on intersex infants (which was the go-to treatment modality for many decades and still happens way too fucking often) can also cause scarring, issues with sensation, incontinence, etc., as well.

Along with the loss of glans, there have also been many cases of nerve tumors (traumatic neuromas) growing where the nerves were lesioned which creates incredible neuropathic pain which also requires surgical intervention.

Remember the bad-ass docs who fully mapped the internal structure of the clitoris a few years ago? They are surgeons who specialize in clitoral reconstruction after FGM/C. It's a new surgery that we only know is feasible because of our newly-acquired knowledge about the complexity of the clitoral structure. Data on safety and outcomes is still limited, but you may be able to reduce pain, match pre-mutilation appearance, and increase pleasure.


Input: Write a section discussing the safety and prevention of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during oral sex. Begin by explaining that while oral sex is generally safer than penetrative intercourse, it still carries the risk of transmitting STIs, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, and HIV. Then, provide advice on oral hygiene practices before and after oral sex, such as avoiding brushing teeth for two hours before or after due to increased risk of bleeding gums and microabrasions. Finally, introduce various barrier methods for STI prevention during oral sex, including external and internal condoms, gloves, finger cots, and sex dams. Encourage the use of these barrier methods in non-monogamous relationships or with partners who have not been tested for STIs. Also, mention pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) and post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) as additional ways to reduce the risk of HIV transmission.

Response:
STI PREVENTION AND SAFETY

Is oral sex generally safer than penetrative intercourse? Absolutely. Can you still transmit STIs through oral sex? Also absolutely. And that includes:

• Chlamydia

• Gonorrhea

• Syphilis

• Herpes

• HPV (human papillomavirus)

• HIV

Firstly, whether using barrier protection or not, don't brush your teeth for two hours before or two hours after oral sex. While your attention to oral hygiene is deeply appreciated, keep to a nice mouthwash gargle, because brushing does create bleeding gums and microabrasions in most of us, and that becomes an entry point for all kinds of cooties.

Now for barrier methods? There is plenty of stuff on the market to help with that. Condoms aren't flavored because vaginas, penises, and anuses like the taste of strawberry!

Along with condoms (both internal and external), we have gloves and finger cots (which can be specifically helpful for oral sex after metoidioplasty), and sex dams. Additionally, a Malaysian gynecologist recently released a condom created from adhesive surgical dressing that can be used in a multitude of ways (innies, outies, and all aroundies). If you are not in a closed relationship where everyone has been given the all-clear, or have been tested with certain partners and agreed to use barrier protection with others, please please please glove your love. And consider both a pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to way reduce your risk of getting HIV and post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) if you aren't taking PrEP and you have a barrier method failure during sexitimes.


Input: Write a section discussing do-it-yourself (DIY) barrier methods for oral sex, specifically focusing on creating homemade sex dams. Start by explaining that condoms should not be DIY'd but sex dams can be made from various materials. Suggest using a non-spermicidal condom for this purpose, cutting it open and using the flat surface as a dam. Mention that disposable gloves can also be converted into a dam by removing the fingers and cutting along the palm to create a flat surface. Additionally, suggest using Saran Wrap as an easy and effective alternative for a barrier dam. Lastly, provide a tip for preventing accidental dam reversal during play, such as writing a non-reversible letter, number, or symbol on one side of the dam.

Response:
One hack that Auntie is cool with? While condoms cannot be DIY'd, sex dams can! Condoms can be cut open (and while you don't want to use a sperimicidal condom for oral sex, you can use one for a dam conversion, so long as the spericidal part isn't where your mouth is going).

Disposable gloves (which make manual sex safer on its own) can also be converted into a dam by cutting off the fingers and then cutting open the palm of the glove along one side and unfolding it. But even easier? Saran Wrap as a barrier dam has proven to be effective in the prevention of the spread of STIs. Super easy.

Another trick I picked up from the Scarleteen website about sex dams is to write a non-reversible letter, number, or symbol on one side of the dam so you don't accidentally reverse the dam later during play.


Input:
  Write a detailed section on how to properly clean different types of sex toys to prevent the spread of STIs and maintain their quality. Start by emphasizing the importance of cleaning toys, even though they won't cause pregnancy. Mention that improperly cleaned toys can still pass on STIs.

Provide cleaning instructions for various materials:

1. Rubber and plastic: suggest using a good quality antibacterial soap, and remind users not to put these toys in the dishwasher as they can melt. Mention that rubber is porous and holds bacteria, so using a condom or dam is recommended if it's going to be inserted. Caution users about phthalate content in rubber toys.
2. Glass: instruct users to wash with soap and water.
3. Silicone: inform users to wash with soap and water.
4. Stainless steel: explain that these toys can be washed with soap and water, and if users want to be extra cautious, they can soak the toy in a 10:1 water and bleach solution for ten minutes or put it in the dishwasher.
5. Vinyl and Cyberskin: inform users that these materials are very porous and fragile. Suggest washing them in warm water and air drying. Recommend dusting them with cornstarch to prevent stickiness.
6. Nylon (paracord): explain that it can be washed in the washing machine or by hand with soap and water. Suggest soaking it in a solution of water and baking soda to remove odor.
7. Fabrics: provide instructions on washing various fabrics like cotton, polyester, bamboo, silk, and wool, depending on their care requirements. Remind users that fabric ropes need to be air-dried in coils and stretched occasionally during the drying process to prevent kinking.
8. Hemp: suggest machine washing on gentle and air-drying, but remind users that it takes 2-5 days to dry completely. Inform users that hemp rope should be knotted and placed in a pillowcase before washing, and reoiled with baby oil or jojoba oil after drying.

Response:
Clean Your Toys Properly

I know, I know...the whole point of having toys is so that you DON'T have to use barrier methods to prevent pregnancy and STIs. But while a toy won't get you pregnant, you can still pass on STIs through toys that were not properly cleaned (not just to and from other people, but even reinfecting yourself with something that had already been treated).

Whether DIY or one you purchased, take good care of your goodies! Don't use a perfumed soap, the ingredients used for scent can irritate your skin. Dr. Bronner's soap is great stuff and comes unscented for sensitive folx. A good quality antibacterial soap is best. You want to wipe them down, not dunk them (unless they are a waterproof toy then dunk away).

Don't put your rubber and plastic type toys in the dishwasher, you can totally melt them. Other than glass toys or stainless steel, you wanna stay away from the dishwasher.

Leather—Wipe down with soap and water or use a special leather cleaner. If the leather comes in contact with bodily fluids, you can disinfect it by wiping it down with a 70% isopropyl rubbing alcohol solution.

Glass—Wash with soap and water

Rubber—if it's something that is going to be inserted, use a condom or dam (see below)...rubber is super porous so they hold bacterial grubbies way too well. Also? Rubber can contain phthalate, which is not something you want seeping into your never-minds (if you wouldn't eat it, don't stick it up anywhere, either).

Silicone—Wash with soap and water

Stainless steel—Wash with soap and water. If you want to be extra about it, stainless steel can go in the dishwasher or can be soaked in a solution of 10:1 water and bleach for ten minutes.

Vinyl and Cyberskin—These are very porous materials that are pretty fragile. These are best washed in warm water and air dried. They can get sticky easily so dusting them with cornstarch is also a good idea (fun fact: corn starch doesn't clump up).

Nylon (paracord is made of nylon, FYI)—Can be washed in the washing machine or by hand with soap and water. You can also remove odor from nylon by soaking it in a solution of water and baking soda.

Fabrics—Wash all fabric as you would fabric you are wearing on your body. Cotton, polyester, and bamboo and the like does fine in a washing machine, silks and wools do better dry cleaned or gently hand washed if you feel confident in managing these materials. Fabric ropes need to be left to be air dried in coils and and stretched occasionally during the drying period so they don't kink up (you are already kinky enough, right, playa?)

Hemp—Hemp can be machine washed on gentle and air dried (it will take 2-5 days to dry completely, so plan accordingly). If you are washing hemp rope, you will want to knot it and and place it in a pillow case before washing (there are lots of videos online with knotting techniques to prepare rope for washing). Hemp rope can be reoiled (baby oil or jojoba oil are good) after drying)


Input: Write a conclusion for a book about oral sex that expresses gratitude towards the readers for their support. Share your thoughts on the challenge of writing a conclusion and your appreciation for the positive response during the pre-order launch. Mention that you are proud to contribute to creating an empowered and inclusive world through providing practical, comprehensive, and scientifically engaging content. End with a friendly and optimistic closing message.

Response:
Conclusion

Y'all. Y'all? Too much time sitting here trying to figure out how one concludes a book on oral sex. I could make some terrible dad jokes (but already did that). I could be cheerfully encouraging of you getting down with any oral pleasure your heart desires (but already did that, too). And anytime I write anything really insightful and cool in a conclusion, my editor ends up moving it somewhere else in the book and making a whole new conclusion.

Which means I kinda can't win. And yet, this book doesn't go to print without a conclusion (tried that, too).

So I'm going to go with a "thank you" conclusion. I'm writing this last bit after we launched the pre-order and the response has been amazing. So many people are hungry for books of this nature that are practical and comprehensive and full of geekery-science fun. And I deeply appreciate that you trust me with providing that content to you. I talked earlier in this book about culture being anything we create. And I'm so proud of this empowered and inclusive world we are creating together.

See you again soon!


Input: Write a detailed list of references for a comprehensive report on various aspects of sexual health and wellness, including but not limited to: articles on sexual pleasure and satisfaction, sexual function and dysfunction, medical conditions affecting sexual activity, sexual practices and behaviors, and historical and cultural perspectives on sexuality. Make sure to include references from a variety of sources such as academic journals, websites, and books. Provide the full citation for each reference in the appropriate format (e.g., APA, MLA, or Chicago).

Response:
References

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Input:
 Write a section for a nonfiction book that includes various fun facts, historical anecdotes, and research findings related to cunnilingus and sexual health. The section should cover the following topics:

1. An interesting fact about the word 'clitoris'.
2. An explanation of the actor-partner interdependence model (APIM) as it relates to research on sexual relationships.
3. The criminalization of queerness and its impact on sexual practices, with specific references to court cases and laws in the United States.
4. The difference in sexual response between people with vaginas and vulvas and those with penises, particularly in response to sexual stimuli when not psychologically turned on.
5. Statistics on the prevalence of oral sex among older adults, referencing a specific study.
6. A brief mention of the historical era of Mediterranean culture after the death of Alexander the Great and the beginning of the Roman Empire.
7. An overview of Dr. Basson's model of the sexual excitement cycle in cis women and its relevance to understanding sexual mindset and self-knowledge.
8. A humorous reference to Dr. Heather Trepal.
9. A playful comment about the section of the book that discusses the act of cunnilingus.
10. A warning about using certain types of candies during oral sex.
11. A biographical note about Dr. Gräfenberg, including his experiences during the Nazi regime and his contributions to the study of the female orgasm and the invention of a better IUD.
12. A reference to a scene from the movie 'Carrie' that relates to menstruation.
13. Advice on sexual activities during menstruation, including the use of different menstrual products and the importance of lubrication.
14. A reference to a 2020 clinical research study on the benefits of masturbation for menstruating individuals, including the role of orgasms in symptom relief.

Response:
* * *

1 Did you know that the plural of clitoris is clitorides?

2 Research nerd alert: This is something that can be conceptualized through a model of dyadic relationships called the actor–partner interdependence model (APIM) which allows for research to be done (like with stats and everything) on the bidirectional effects of relationships.

3 Keep in mind there were multiple lies criminalizing queerness. The supreme court refused to provide any constitutional protections for oral and anal sex in 1986 (Bowers vs. Hardwick) and it wasn't until Lawrence vs. Texas in 2003 that anal sex was still illegal in 14 states in the U.S.

4 It's dark, but fascinating research. People with vaginas and vulvas will respond to sexual stimuli even if they aren't psychologically turned on…when individuals with penes will not. It's thought to be an evolutionary protective mechanism since we, during the course of human history, have not had a whole lot of say in sexual partners and activities. It's an adaptation to prevent damage from things being done to us.

5 Specifics? Got you, boo. A study of 884 heterosexual couples from the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project in 2010 found that more than half of those aged 57 to 75 said they engaged in oral sex as did about a third of 75- to 85-year-olds.

6 The era of Mediterranean culture that occured after the death of Alexander the Great (323 BC) and the beginning of the Roman empire (31 BC).

7 Dr. Basson's model is an explanation of the sexual excitement cycle of cis women. And while there are absolutely differences among the genders and just within humans in general, I've found that mindset and self-knowledge is important to everyone.

8 From Dr. Heather Trepal. I'm saying that for the sole purpose of embarrassing her by mentioning her in a book about cunnilingus with the word fuck in the title.

9 And I want SO MUCH CREDIT for not saying "the part you came for." Except, whoopsie.

10 I did look. There are popping candies marketed specifically for oral sex but all of them have sugar. Until a keto version is created, don't put them in your mouth before burying your mouth onto a vulva.

11 Dr. Gräfenberg was hella interesting and needs his own biopic made STAT. He was the head of the OB/GYN branch of a hospital in Germany and stepped down from that role when the Nazis took power, but didn't leave. He thought that although he was Jewish he treated the wives of many high ranking Nazi party officials. He was wrong. They didn't kill him but held him in a Nazi prison for several years until Margaret Sanger paid the ransom for his release and he was able to move to New York to continue his work studying the female orgasm and inventing a better IUD.

12 Look up this scene from the movie Carrie, adapted from the Stephen King novel of the same name if you don't get the reference or want a visual refresher.

13 If you are doing any clitoral stimulation from inside the vaginal canal (you know, fingering) be aware that a tampon will absorb not just menses but vaginal lubrication so it might not be a pleasant sensation as it is for the rest of the month. Because the other menstruation products sit higher, they don't absorb the body's natural lubrication and may be more comfortable. Also? Lube will forevermore be your friend if needed…if you don't make your own store bought is fine!

14 Clinical research published in 2020 found that 42% of menstruating individuals found symptom relief from masturbation. The study was funded by a sex toy company. Zero shame in that, but that led to headlines that didn't point out it was the orgasm that was helpful. Self-induced is great but so is partner induced.


Input: Write an author biography for Faith Harper. The biography should include information about her professional background, such as her education, licenses, and certifications. It should also mention her private practice and consulting business in San Antonio, Texas. Additionally, include information about her experience as an adjunct professor and TEDx presenter. Highlight her personal identity as a woman of color and an intersectional feminist. Mention her extensive bibliography, noting that she has written dozens of books.

Response:
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Faith Harper PhD, LPC-S, ACS, ACN is a bad-ass, funny lady with a PhD. She's a licensed professional counselor, board supervisor, certified sexologist, and applied clinical nutritionist with a private practice and consulting business in San Antonio, TX. She has been an adjunct professor and a TEDx presenter, and proudly identifies as a woman of color and uppity intersectional feminist. She is the author of dozens of books.


Input: Write a detailed list of works by Dr. Faith Harper. The list should include her books, workbooks, zines, and any other publications. For each book, provide the title and any co-authors. Organize the list into clear categories for easy reading.

Response:
More by Dr. Faith

**Books**

The Autism Relationships Handbook (with Joe Biel)

Befriend Your Brain

Coping Skills

How to Be Accountable (with Joe Biel)

This Is Your Brain on Depression

Unfuck Your Addiction (with Joseph E Green)

Unfuck Your Adulting

Unfuck Your Anger

Unfuck Your Anxiety

Unfuck Your Blow Jobs

Unfuck Your Body

Unfuck Your Boundaries

Unfuck Your Brain

Unfuck Your Cunnilingus

Unfuck Your Friendships

Unfuck Your Grief

Unfuck Your Intimacy

Unfuck Your Worth

Unfuck Your Writing (with Joe Biel)

Woke Parenting (with Bonnie Scott)

**Workbooks**

Achieve Your Goals

The Autism Relationships Workbook (with Joe Biel)

How to Be Accountable Workbook (with Joe Biel)

Unfuck Your Anger Workbook

Unfuck Your Anxiety Workbook

Unfuck Your Body Workbook

Unfuck Your Boundaries Workbook

Unfuck Your Intimacy Workbook

Unfuck Your Worth Workbook

Unfuck Your Year

**Zines**

The Autism Handbook (with Joe Biel)

The Autism Partner Handbook (with Joe Biel)

BDSM FAQ

Dating

Defriending

Detox Your Masculinity (with Aaron Sapp)

Emotional Freedom Technique

Getting Over It

How to Find a Therapist

How to Say No

Indigenous Noms

Relationshipping

The Revolution Won't Forget the Holidays

Self-Compassion

Sex Tools

Sexing Yourself

STI FAQ (with Aaron Sapp)

Surviving

This Is Your Brain on Addiction

This Is Your Brain on Grief

This Is Your Brain on PTSD

Unfuck Your Consent

Unfuck Your Forgiveness

Unfuck Your Mental Health Paradigm

Unfuck Your Sleep

Unfuck Your Work

Vision Boarding

Woke Parenting #1-6 (with Bonnie Scott)

**Other**

Boundaries Conversation Deck

How Do You Feel Today? (poster)


Input: Write a promotional paragraph for Microcosm Publishing. Include a call to action for subscribing to their services, the benefits of subscribing, and the URL for subscribing.

Response:
More relationship help from www.Microcosm.Pub

create the world you want to see at Microcosm.Pub

SUBSCRIBE!

For as little as $15/month, you can support a small, independent publisher and get every book that we publish—delivered to your doorstep!

www.Microcosm.Pub/BFF


Input: Write a prompt for creating a table of contents for a nonfiction book called "Unfuck Your Cunnilingus". Include sections for an introduction, three main parts, a conclusion, references, footnotes, about the author, and other books by the author. Also, include subsections for each main part.

Response:
# Contents

  1. Unfuck Your Cunnilingus
    1. INTRODUCTION
    2. PART ONE: THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CUNNILINGUS
      1. Chapter 1: Why It Feels Good to Get Cunnilingus
      2. Chapter 2: Why We Like to Give Cunilingus
      3. Chapter 3: When Things Don't Work Fantastically
    3. PART TWO: HOW OUR CUNNILINGUS GETS FUCKED UP
      1. Chapter 4: Internalized Cunnilingus Fuckening
    4. PART THREE: UNFUCK YOUR CUNNILINGUS
      1. Chapter 5: Consent
      2. Chapter 6: How to Give Cunnilingus
      3. Chapter 7: How to Receive Cunnilingus
      4. Chapter 8: STI Prevention and Safety
    5. CONCLUSION
    6. REFERENCES
    7. FOOTNOTES
    8. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
    9. MORE BY DR. FAITH

## Landmarks

  1. Cover