Input:
1. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 1?
A: The main focus of Chapter 1 is addressing common misconceptions and frequently asked questions about prostate stimulation and anal play.
2. Q: What are some of the common misconceptions addressed in Chapter 1?
A: Some of the common misconceptions addressed in Chapter 1 include the belief that prostate stimulation is only for gay or effeminate men, the assumption that it is messy or painful, and the concern that it may be perceived as weird or unmasculine.
3. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 2?
A: The main focus of Chapter 2 is exploring the pleasure potential of prostate stimulation, including the unique sensation of a prostate orgasm and the possibility of experiencing multiple orgasms.
4. Q: What is the role of the prostate in anal pleasure?
A: The prostate is a gland that plays a key role in male sexual function, including the production of seminal fluid. During anal play, the prostate can be stimulated indirectly through the wall of the rectum, leading to intense pleasure and the potential for a prostate orgasm.
5. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 3?
A: The main focus of Chapter 3 is providing anatomical and physiological information about the prostate, including its location, size, and function during ejaculation.
6. Q: What are the phases of ejaculation?
A: The phases of ejaculation include the emission phase, in which semen is released from the prostate and other glands into the urethra, and the expulsion phase, in which the muscles of the pelvic floor contract to expel the semen from the body.
7. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 4?
A: The main focus of Chapter 4 is providing practical tips for maintaining hygiene during anal play, including the use of enemas and safer sex barriers.
8. Q: What is the purpose of an enema?
A: The purpose of an enema is to clean out the lower part of the colon, reducing the risk of mess during anal play.
9. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 5?
A: The main focus of Chapter 5 is providing practical tips for engaging in penetrative anal play, including the importance of going slowly and communicating with one's partner.
10. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 6?
A: The main focus of Chapter 6 is exploring the mind-body connection in prostate play and the importance of having realistic expectations and an open mind.
11. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 7?
A: The main focus of Chapter 7 is providing practical tips for locating the prostate, including solo and partnered exploration techniques.
12. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 8?
A: The main focus of Chapter 8 is providing guidance for couples who are interested in exploring prostate play together, including tips for opening the conversation and addressing common hesitations.
13. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 9?
A: The main focus of Chapter 9 is providing information about prostate massage, including tips for combining it with cock play and different massage strokes.
14. Q: What is fisting?
A: Fisting is a sexual activity that involves inserting the entire hand into the rectum. It requires careful preparation and communication between partners.
15. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 10?
A: The main focus of Chapter 10 is exploring the pleasure potential of the perineum, a sensitive area located between the scrotum and the anus.
16. Q: What is the sweet spot?
A: The sweet spot refers to a particularly sensitive area on the perineum that can provide intense pleasure when massaged.
17. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 11?
A: The main focus of Chapter 11 is providing information about different types of sex toys that can be used for prostate play, including butt plugs, vibrators, and dildos.
18. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 12?
A: The main focus of Chapter 12 is providing practical tips for engaging in anal sex and strap-on play, including different positions and techniques.
19. Q: What is pegging?
A: Pegging refers to a sexual activity in which a woman wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates her male partner anally.
20. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 13?
A: The main focus of Chapter 13 is challenging societal norms and expectations around masculinity and encouraging men to embrace their sexual desires and pleasures, including prostate play.
21. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 14?
A: The main focus of Chapter 14 is providing information about prostate health, including common conditions like prostatitis and benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and the potential benefits of prostate massage for overall prostate health.
22. Q: What is the main focus of Chapter 15?
A: The main focus of Chapter 15 is exploring the potential benefits of prostate massage for preventing prostate cancer and improving overall prostate health.
23. Q: What is the main focus of the Conclusion?
A: The main focus of the Conclusion is summarizing the key points of the book and encouraging readers to explore their own sexual desires and pleasures, including prostate play.

Response:
Table of Contents

Title Page

Praise

Foreword

Introduction

CHAPTER 1 - BEFORE WE START: FREQUENTLY ASKED QU ESTIONS

"So my prostate gland is…up my ass?"

"Isn't it messy?"

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"If a man gets penetrated, doesn't that mean he's gay/effeminate /being dominated?"

"Won't people think I'm weird?"

"My partner won't be into that"

"My cock is all I need to get off"

"I had a prostate exam at the doctor's and it didn't feel good at all!"

"Are there health risks?"

"That all sounds great, but I still don't know how to find my prostate!"

CHAPTER 2 - THE SEXY PROSTATE

A LITTLE-KNOWN PLEASURE ZONE

A UNIQUE SENSATION

PROSTATE ORGASM

LINGERING ON THE BRINK

MULTIPLE ORGASMS

THE PROSTATE'S ROLE IN ANAL PLEASURE

OTHER REASONS TO ENJOY PROSTATE STIMULATION

CHAPTER 3 - WHAT IS THE PROSTATE?

PROSTATE ANATOMY

PHASES OF EJACULATION

THE MALE G-SPOT?

ABOUT NERVES

CHAPTER 4 - HYGIENE

QUICK TIPS FOR MORE HYGIENIC ANAL PLAY

ENEMAS

SAFER SEX BARRIERS

HAIR REMOVAL

CHAPTER 5 - PENETRATION 101

THE PROSTATE AND THEN SOME

PENETR ATION: THE BASICS

IF IT HURTS

SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE

MAKING IT FEEL GOOD

CHAPTER 6 - SEARCHING FOR THE "MAGIC BUTTON"

FINDING IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT LOCATION

THE MIND–BODY CONNECTION

REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

LEARNING TO RECEIVE

AROUSAL

TO STROKE, OR NOT TO STROKE (YOUR COCK)

REWIRING

OPEN TO THE SENSATION

TWO APPROACHES: TANTRA AND FANTASY

WHAT YOU MIGHT FEEL

CHAPTER 7 - FIND IT: LOCATING THE GLAND

SET THE SCENE

SOLO EXPLORATION: LOCATE THE PROSTATE

FEELING FOR IT: GUIDED SOLO EXPLORATION

PARTNERED EXPLORATION: LOCATE THE PROSTATE

CHAPTER 8 - BRINGING UP THE TOPIC: A GUIDE FOR HIM AND HER

WHY GUY–GIRL COUPLES ARE EXPLORING PROSTATE PLAY

THE BENEFITS OF TAKING TURNS

REASONS FOR HESITATION

OPEN THE CONVERSATION

BE FLEXIBLE

CHAPTER 9 - PROSTATE MASSAGE

WHAT IS PROSTATE MASSAGE?

TIPS FOR COMBINING WITH COCK PLAY

HOW MANY FINGERS?

MASSAGE STROKES

FISTING

CHAPTER 10 - THE "SWEET SPOT": MASSAGING THE PERINEUM

WHY THE SWEET SPOT FEELS GOOD

FINDING THE SWEET SPOT

FIND YOUR OWN

PARTNER MASSAGE

"I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING"

CHAPTER 11 - TOYS

LUBE

TOY TIPS

BUTT PLUGS

MADE WITH THE PROSTATE IN MIND

G-SPOT TOYS

VIBRATORS

DILDOS

STRAP-ON HARNESSES FOR HIM AND HER

INFLATABLES

ELECTROSTIM

URETHRAL SOUNDS

TOY MATERIALS AND CLEANING

CHAPTER 12 - ANAL SEX AND STRAP-ON FUCKING

TECHNIQUE

POSITIONS

PEGGING: STR AP-ON SEX FOR GUY–GIRL COUPLES

CHAPTER 13 - REAL MEN DON'T

DOES IT MAKE ME LESS OF A MAN?

THE "ACT LIKE A MAN" BOX

OUTSIDE THE BOX IS A SCARY PLACE

WHY THE BOX IS NONSENSE

PICKING AND CHOOSING FROM THE BOX

BACK TO PROSTATE PLAY

IT'S UP TO YOU

CHAPTER 14 - PROSTATE HEALTH

PROSTATITIS

PROSTATE HEALTH TIPS

BENIGN PROSTATIC HYPERPLASIA (BPH)

PROSTATE CANCER

SEX AFTER PROSTATE CANCER TREATMENT

CHAPTER 15 - POSSIBLE BENEFITS OF PROSTATE MASSAGE

HOW MAY PROSTATE MASSAGE BE BENEFICIAL?

A LITTLE HISTORY

CAN MASSAGE HELP PREVENT PROSTATE CANCER?

DIY PROSTATE MASSAGE FOR HEALTH

CONCLUSION

AFTERWORD

RESOURCES

ENDNOTES

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Copyright Page


Input:
 1. Q: What is the main focus of the "Praise for _The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure_" section?
A: The main focus of the "Praise for _The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure_" section is to provide testimonials from experts in the field of sexual health and education, highlighting the book's unique approach to demystifying prostate pleasure and providing practical tips for exploring it safely and consensually.
2. Q: Who are some of the experts providing testimonials?
A: Some of the experts providing testimonials include Dr. Sadie Allison, author of _Tickle My Tush: Mild-To-Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty_, Dr. Carol Queen, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations and author of _Real Live Nude Girl_, and Joan Price, author of _Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex_.
3. Q: What are some of the key points emphasized in the testimonials?
A: Some of the key points emphasized in the testimonials include the book's ability to dispel myths and provide practical tips for exploring prostate pleasure safely and consensually, its friendly and approachable tone, and its appeal to a wide range of readers, including those who are new to the topic and those who are more experienced.
4. Q: How do the testimonials address the book's uniqueness?
A: The testimonials address the book's uniqueness by highlighting its modern and inclusive approach to a topic that has often been shrouded in taboo and misinformation. They also emphasize the book's focus on providing practical tips and techniques for exploring prostate pleasure safely and consensually, making it a valuable resource for readers of all backgrounds and experience levels.
5. Q: How do the testimonials address the book's accessibility?
A: The testimonials address the book's accessibility by emphasizing its friendly and approachable tone, as well as its ability to provide practical tips and techniques for exploring prostate pleasure safely and consensually. They also highlight the book's appeal to a wide range of readers, including those who are new to the topic and those who are more experienced.
6. Q: How do the testimonials address the book's relevance to different populations?
A: The testimonials address the book's relevance to different populations by emphasizing its inclusive approach to a topic that has often been associated with a particular sexual orientation or identity. They also highlight the book's appeal to readers of all ages and backgrounds, including those who are solo or partnered, vanilla or kinky, and young or old.
7. Q: How do the testimonials address the book's comprehensiveness?
A: The testimonials address the book's comprehensiveness by emphasizing its ability to provide practical tips and techniques for exploring prostate pleasure safely and consensually, as well as its focus on dispelling myths and providing accurate information about the prostate and its role in sexual pleasure. They also highlight the book's appeal to readers of all experience levels, from beginners to advanced practitioners.
8. Q: How do the testimonials address the book's focus on communication?
A: The testimonials address the book's focus on communication by emphasizing its ability to provide practical tips for opening the conversation and addressing common hesitations around prostate play. They also highlight the book's emphasis on the importance of communication in creating a safe and consensual sexual experience.

Response:
Praise for _The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure_

"This modern guide will steer you past any hang-ups and gently around anatomy's curves to bring you prostate pleasure and orgasmic thrills you never knew you had coming to you. If you've got questions, Charlie and Aislinn have got the answers."

—Dr. Sadie Allison, author of
_Tickle My Tush: Mild-To-Wild Analplay Adventures for_
_Everybooty_

"A great addition to a largely underground history that is finally coming into the light. Everyone deserves the sex information that will make their desires consensually possible, safe, and full of pleasure."

—Dr. Carol Queen, staff sexologist at
Good Vibrations and author of _Real Live Nude Girl_

"This superb guide combines the friendliness of a good buddy with the savvy knowledge of a top-notch sex educator, explaining the ins and outs, hows and whys, of prostate pleasure, including answering those questions you thought you couldn't ask anybody. Whatever you want to know about the pleasures and the how-tos of prostate stimulation, it's in this book."

—Joan Price, author of
_Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex_

"Dr. Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian have written the end-all guide to prostate pleasure. This book will appeal to so many different groups of people—solo, partnered, vanilla, hetero, queer, bi, gay, young, old—everyone who wants to know more about this oft-ignored source of pleasure in one's sexual repertoire. The focus of this book is on informing beginners through the master level, with everything from dispelling myths to basic communication skills to the how-tos of giving or receiving prostate pleasure. Well done!"

—Lanae St.John,
sexologist and sex educator at TheMamaSutra.net


Input:
1. Q: What is the main focus of the "Foreword" section?
A: The main focus of the "Foreword" section is to introduce the topic of male anal pleasure and prostate play, which remains a topic about which most people have never received good information. The section emphasizes the need for accurate information and inclusive perspectives on sexual pleasure, as well as the barriers that prevent many people from exploring this aspect of their sexuality.
2. Q: Who is the author of the "Foreword" section?
A: Dr. Carol Queen, staff sexologist at Good Vibrations and author of several books on sexuality and sexual health.
3. Q: What are some of the barriers that prevent people from exploring male anal pleasure and prostate play?
A: Some of the barriers that prevent people from exploring male anal pleasure and prostate play include a lack of good information, societal taboos, and the fact that many people do not prioritize pleasure in their sexual experiences.
4. Q: How has the author contributed to the discussion of male anal pleasure and prostate play?
A: The author has contributed to the discussion of male anal pleasure and prostate play by writing books on the topic, appearing in educational videos, and teaching workshops on anal play. She has also emphasized the importance of inclusive perspectives and accurate information in promoting sexual health and pleasure.
5. Q: What is the significance of the "Bend Over Boyfriend" video mentioned in the section?
A: The "Bend Over Boyfriend" video is significant because it is a distillation of the author's partner's knowledge on anal eroticism skills, and has helped innumerable curious couples explore back-door delights. It has also shown that there is a significant demand for information and resources on male anal pleasure and prostate play.
6. Q: What are some of the reasons why men might engage in solo anal play?
A: Some reasons why men might engage in solo anal play include a desire for prostate stimulation and pleasure, a hope that prostate massage will help keep them healthy, and a lack of willing or available partners with whom to explore this aspect of their sexuality.
7. Q: What is the significance of the "largely underground history" mentioned in the section?
A: The "largely underground history" mentioned in the section refers to the fact that information and resources on male anal pleasure and prostate play have often been hidden or obscured, and that many people have had to seek out this information on their own.
8. Q: What are some of the benefits of exploring male anal pleasure and prostate play?
A: Some of the benefits of exploring male anal pleasure and prostate play include increased pleasure, improved sexual health, and a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience. It can also promote communication and intimacy between partners.
9. Q: What is the significance of the phrase "Everyone deserves the sex information that will make their desires consensually possible, safe, and full of pleasure."?
A: The phrase "Everyone deserves the sex information that will make their desires consensually possible, safe, and full of pleasure." emphasizes the importance of inclusive and accurate information in promoting sexual health and pleasure, as well as the need for consent and safety in all sexual experiences.

Response:
**FOREWORD**

Even though we live in a time when anal sex movies are available at just a mouse click, anal pleasure—especially for men—remains a topic about which most people have never received good information. Sex education as a whole, in fact, doesn't serve to promote or explore pleasure; people have to figure that part out on their own, and many don't have time, ready access to information, or even the understanding that sex could feel better to them than it does right now. Still others cannot, for personal reasons, prioritize pleasure—after all, we are still getting mainstream messages that sex is primarily for reproduction, though that is hardly the only sexual message we hear. It has become a very lively discussion, if you know where to look for alternative perspectives.

Still, male anal pleasure and prostate play lie far outside the charmed circle of what many people understand sex to be, and anyone seeking to explore it needs to find a source of knowledge. This information mostly used to be in the hands of men who had sex with men: open discussion of anal sex and prostate play was far easier to find in the gay community, despite the irony that (as one study noted) more married heterosexual women, percentage-wise, engaged in anal intercourse than gay men. Jack Morin, in his book _Anal Pleasure and Health_ , brought this information to anyone who needed it—but still, when my partner Dr. Robert Morgan Lawrence and I began traveling and teaching anal play workshops at the dawn of the 1990s, most people did not even know there was an informational infrastructure to be had. It has been a huge privilege for Robert and me to talk and teach about anal pleasure, for no knowledge is as welcome as knowledge that once seemed unobtainable.

With Robert, who had been teaching anal eroticism skills since the 1970s, I appeared in _Bend Over Boyfriend_ —essentially a video distillation of his knowledge—which helped innumerable curious couples explore back-door delights. This became one of the best selling movies Good Vibrations ever carried. If it was not clear before that there existed plenty of pent-up desire for male anal play (and information about anal pleasure in general), this response, and feedback from many, many men and their partners, has definitely shown otherwise.

The fact is, all kinds of men love prostate stimulation and pleasure; even when they do not share this predilection with their partners, they may engage in solo anal play. Other men  have decided to explore it in the hope that prostate massage will help keep them healthy. And increasingly, people with prostates are sharing erotic explorations with their partners. This book supports all of them—as well as the curious who haven't yet put their ass on the line for erotic enjoyment—with permission, knowledge, safety information, and suggested play styles. It's a great addition to a largely underground history that is finally coming into the light. Everyone deserves the sex information that will make their desires consensually possible, safe, and full of pleasure.

Carol Queen, PhD
San Francisco


Input:
 The prompt for the above section of the story could be:

"Write an introduction to a book about prostate play that explains what prostate play is, why it's becoming more popular, and what readers can expect to learn from the book. Mention the diverse group of people who enjoy prostate play and address common concerns and misconceptions. Also, provide a brief overview of the book's contents, including chapters on common questions, male reproductive anatomy, how to find and stimulate the prostate, toys, and sexual health. Finally, explain your approach to language and define any key terms, and provide a brief author bio."

Response:
**INTRODUCTION**

The prostate has been getting a lot of attention lately. Coyote Days, toy buyer for Good Vibrations, says, "In the years that I've been buyer, there's definitely been more emphasis, focus, and attention directed toward prostate stimulation." According to Christine Fawley of PleasureMechanics.com, "Prostate massage is the hottest trend in male sexuality, as straight men all around the world are waking up to the potential pleasures of anal play and prostate stimulation." What's all the buzz about?

Curiosity about the health benefits of prostate massage has inspired lots of men to try it out and to discover some pleasant side effects—intense pleasure and orgasm. Many others have been intrigued to hear that it is possible to have an orgasm  through prostate massage that feels completely different from what they are used to from penile stimulation, and that this can happen without touching their cock at all. Not to mention multiple orgasms and full-body orgasms that some men experience through prostate play!

In recent years, people have been calling the prostate the "male G-spot," a term that is suggestive of how powerful this hidden pleasure zone can be. And while the prostate has been common knowledge for a long time among gay men and other sexual subcultures, the increased mainstream popularity of pegging (strap-on sex for male–female couples, with the male as the receiver) has led many hetero couples to discover the intense sensations that this area can offer.

As the reputation of the prostate has grown, so has the curiosity of men and their partners. More and more ears are perking up to the whispers and shouts about prostate massage as a source of intense erotic sensation. In our work as sexuality educators, we've fielded more questions from men and their partners about prostate stimulation than we can keep track of.

With the increasing buzz about the prostate, more sex guides ranging from Tantra books to sex toy guides mention the prostate as an erogenous zone. However, most only mention it in passing, and don't elaborate much further than to say "Insert fingers and curl them toward the front of the body." Given the significant popular demand for information and the very limited number of comprehensive guides to prostate stimulation, we decided to write a detailed guide to finding and enjoying the prostate by yourself or with a partner.

Since you're reading this, odds are that you're curious about prostate play. Maybe you've been thinking of trying it out. Maybe you've given it a shot and want some new tips. Or perhaps your partner is interested and you're willing to learn more. However you got here, we're glad you did. Unlike some other sexual practices, trying prostate play often presents hurdles. Concerns about anal play, safety, cleanliness, sexual orientation, masculinity, and gender roles can hold men and their partners back. Or simply never having heard much about the prostate as a pleasure zone can keep lots of people from exploring it. We're always excited to help people discover new ways to experience pleasure, so we give you all the information you need to know to relax and enjoy yourself.

#  **All Genders and Orientations Are Doing This**

All kinds of people get into prostate play. We have personally spoken with men of all different orientations—straight, gay, bi, queer, pansexual, etc.—who get into prostate play by themselves, with a partner, or both. It is a very diverse group of people that enjoys prostate play!

Despite the rather tenacious idea that anal penetration isn't something heterosexual men do (as receivers), we've talked with enough hetero men and female partners to know that's simply not true. But because male-receptive anal penetration is still very taboo outside gay male circles and sex-positive subcultures, the enjoyment of prostate play (and male-receptive anal play generally) by hetero men is not discussed as openly, and there is less awareness of these practices in the larger culture.

Even as more and more straight men and their partners are trying this out, many straight men and their partners still would be surprised by the suggestion that he could enjoy having his prostate massaged during anal penetration, and that she could enjoy doing it. Quite a few people only know of the prostate in connection with cancer, and lots of guys are uncomfortable with the idea of anal penetration anyway. One of our main goals with this book was to reach as many straight men as possible and give them all the info they need to enjoy prostate play.

We also tried to make the book relevant to men who sleep with men. Many men who are part of a strong gay/bi/queer/ pansexual community are already fairly knowledgeable about the prostate; this information is typically passed around between partners and in the community at large, since anal penetration is frequently normalized in these circles. Still, we hope that our readers who are gay/bi/queer/pansexual men might learn something new.

In addition to the pleasures of receiving prostate stimulation, people of all genders who are partners to men can enjoy being on the giving end of prostate play with fingers, toys, or a cock or strap-on dildo. Throughout the book, we dance back and forth between addressing those who are looking for their own prostate and those who would like to learn to pleasure someone else's. Also, we gave special attention to women who want to pleasure a man's prostate, as we think this information is in high demand among many women who play with men.

Lastly, though this book is addressed to men and their  partners, it's important to note that transgender women have a prostate too. (Actually, everyone has a prostate—see chapter 3, What Is the Prostate?) Plenty of transgender women enjoy having their prostate stimulated. Others find that they don't enjoy it for a variety of reasons. For those who do find it pleasurable, the techniques are mostly the same as those for cisgender men (men whose experience of gender is aligned with the gender they were assigned at birth). There are also some important differences; we describe these in the sidebar "Prostate Pleasure for Transgender Women" in chapter 2, The Sexy Prostate.

#  **What You'll Find Inside**

We begin by addressing common concerns with a chapter on FAQs, where we briefly list and respond to the most common questions and concerns we have encountered in talking with men about prostate play. Next, we explain the role of the prostate in male reproductive anatomy and discuss the erogenous nature of the prostate.

After that, we get into the how-to section of the book: anal play and hygiene, the basics of pleasurable anal penetration, how to find the prostate, and what to do once you have. In addition to an in-depth description of solo and partnered massage technique, we cover toys and anal intercourse/strap-on sex. In the final portion of the book, we focus on some of the larger issues that can affect prostate play: how ideas of masculinity can hold men back; prostate health; and some of the ways in which prostate massage is believed to benefit health.

Even if you think you know everything you need to know  about a particular topic, we invite you to take a look at the relevant chapter. We thought we knew a lot before we started writing this book—we were surprised to discover how much more there was to know. You might be too!

And just as with anything about sex, nothing we describe here works for everyone. We invite you to try out as many different approaches as you want, but don't get discouraged if some of them aren't your thing. We have plenty of other suggestions.

#  **A Note about Language**

One of the hardest tasks in writing about sex is deciding what terms to use for body parts. Some people prefer terms like _penis_ and _anus_ , while others find them too medical or clinical. On the other hand, words like _cock_ or _asshole_ , more comfortable for some, are too slangy or offensive to others. There's no way to talk about sex that's guaranteed to suit everyone all the time.

We decided to use different terms in different places. For example, when we're talking about medical issues related to the prostate, we shift into more medical language. In other places, we keep it more informal. But there's nothing better about one term or another. It's just a matter of preference.

Here is one term we'll define right away: _P-spot_. The prostate, as we explain in chapter 3, What Is the Prostate?, is an erogenous zone very similar to the erogenous zone in women known as the "G-spot." Some sexuality educators and prostate play enthusiasts have started calling the prostate "the P-spot," both to highlight that similarity and because they  think it's a sexier word than _prostate_. We use both terms in different places, and you're welcome to use whichever you're more comfortable with. In fact, we encourage you to come up with new names for this erogenous zone, if any should strike your fancy!

#  **Who We Are and How This Book Came Together**

Charlie has been a sexuality educator for over 20 years in a variety of settings; in 2005 he received his PhD in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University. He has created workshops on many different sexual practices and communities. He teaches courses on sexuality for local universities, presents at conferences and other events, and writes a lot about sexual topics. He'd been teaching workshops and talking with people about prostate play for a while before writing this book. He has worked at Good Vibrations since 1996, starting out in the stores and eventually becoming the Education Program Manager.

We met when Aislinn was hired at Good Vibrations as a Sex Educator–Sales Associate. Aislinn began sex ed as a college student, where she was part of a peer sex ed group that taught workshops to fellow students. After graduation, she got involved with sex-positive adult toy stores, beginning with Oh My Sensuality Shop in Massachusetts, and later moving to San Francisco to work for Good Vibrations. During her years as a sex educator, she has taught workshops on subjects including the G-spot, queer pornography, sex parties for women, and, of course, the prostate.

Between us, we've talked with hundreds of men and their  partners about prostate play. In addition to these informal conversations, we conducted two online surveys to find out more. The first focused on technique. Seventy-five people responded—givers and receivers, of all sexual orientations and levels of experience—saying what they like and don't like, how they include prostate play in their sexual relationships, and sharing lots of useful tips. The second survey focused on sensation, and it was just for the receivers. This gave us great insight into how men experience this pleasure, what it actually feels like for them. The generosity of all these respondents in sharing the details of their sex lives with us was tremendously useful and we're deeply grateful to everyone who participated. This book wouldn't have been complete without you!

#  **A Big Thanks**

Writing this book has been an amazing experience, and we couldn't have done it without lots of help. Our partners, Michael and Elizabeth, listened to us geek out about the prostate for months. Thanks for your support. Also, a special thanks to our friends Margaret Brown and Stephanie Edd for their assistance in locating scholarly articles.

We're also deeply grateful for all the experts, medical professionals, and colleagues who answered our questions, checked our information, kept us up to date on recent research, and offered feedback. A big thank-you to Alan Shindel, Carol Queen, Robert Lawrence, Myrtle Wilhite, Beverly Whipple, Jonathan Branfman, Susan Stiritz, Jan Robinson, Stephanie Prendergast, Leah Alchin, The Source School of Tantra, and Charles Muir.


Input:
 The prompt for the above section of the story could be:

" Write a chapter titled 'Before We Start: Frequently Asked Questions' that addresses common concerns and misconceptions about prostate play. Include questions and answers about the location of the prostate, potential messiness, pain, gender roles, societal perceptions, and health risks. Also, address any concerns about finding the prostate and provide reassurance that it can be done safely and enjoyably."

Response:
**CHAPTER** **1**

**BEFORE WE START: FREQUENTLY ASKED QU ESTIONS**

So you've decided to give prostate play a try. Or maybe you've done it before and you want to learn some new tricks. We think that's great! More men and their partners are discovering how much pleasure this often-overlooked part of the body can bring them.

Before we get into the how-to side of things, there are some matters we want to address first. Many men have questions and concerns about prostate play, and these questions can hold them back. Here we address some of the most common concerns and FAQs of prostate enthusiasts. Maybe you've had some of these concerns in the past, or they're coming up for you now. We hope this chapter will help you feel more comfortable with exploring your prostate. And if you're a  partner of a guy who wants to explore prostate play, you might find something useful here too.

#  **"So my prostate gland is…up my ass?"**

No, the prostate gland is not located in the rectum—it just happens to live next door! The prostate is a part of your reproductive anatomy. It's an "accessory sex gland" that contributes a portion of the fluid that makes up your semen. It surrounds the urethra, just behind and slightly above the bulb of the penis, a few inches inside the perineum (the area between your balls and your anus).

Like other parts of your sex equipment, the prostate can feel amazing when stimulated. However, because it is located inside the pelvis, it is less readily available for stimulation than your cock and balls.

Since the prostate happens to sit directly in front of the rectum, you can stimulate it by inserting a finger into the anus and stroking toward the front of the body. The rectal wall is thick enough to withstand gentle pressure, but thin enough that the pressure is easily transferred to the prostate on the other side.

The anal route is the most direct way to stimulate the prostate, so it's the preferred technique of many P-spot enthusiasts. But the prostate is not a part of your anal anatomy, and the ass is not the only available path. You can also massage the prostate indirectly by pressing upward through the perineum. Men have also reported feeling pleasurable prostate sensations during arousal, orgasm, and ejaculation, while flexing pelvic muscles, while fantasizing, and during a bowel movement.

#  **"Isn't it messy?"**

Uneasiness about making a mess was the number one concern mentioned by prostate enthusiasts we've heard from, regardless of sexual orientation. During anal penetration, it's certainly possible to come into contact with stuff that you might prefer not to. But most of the time, it's not so messy as you might imagine. And fortunately, it's pretty easy to minimize the mess factor.

_**"Just get over it! It feels awesome."**_

Stool isn't stored in the rectum. It's stored deeper in the digestive tract, and only passes through the rectum on its way out. So between bowel movements, there usually isn't very much left behind. Sometimes stool remains in the rectum, especially if your diet is lacking in fiber, if you have loose stool, or if you use medications that affect your digestion. But most of the time there is little or no visible shit on toys or fingers after penetration, and little or no offensive odor in the air during play.

Still, if you are concerned, there are many ways to keep your play relatively clean and hygienic, such as wearing gloves, laying a towel on the bed, and rinsing out beforehand with an enema. (See chapter 4, Hygiene, for more information.)

Even with all these tips, there's always a chance that you'll come into contact with some feces. It's not the end of the world. As the bumper sticker says, "shit happens." Simply wipe it up and move on.

#  **"Doesn't it hurt?"**

Lots of people have had painful experiences with anal penetration. However, this usually happens because they were doing too much too soon: forcing entry, taking an object that was too big, or not using enough lube. Likewise, prostate massage can be painful if you press too hard or poke roughly in your eagerness to produce sensation. But most people can learn to receive anal penetration and prostate massage without pain.

If you are new at this, you might experience some discomfort and prostate tenderness during your first few forays. With a little practice, that usually goes away. But you can avoid pain entirely by following one simple rule: If it hurts, don't do it! This may mean taking your time and going more slowly and gently than you might prefer, but it's worth it to avoid the pain. (See chapter 5, Penetration 101, for tips on painless entry.)

#  **"If a man gets penetrated, doesn't that mean he's gay/effeminate /being dominated?"**

A lot of men are curious to find their prostate and see how it feels, but they hesitate because they are afraid that being penetrated would be in conflict with their masculinity. The story goes like this: "Only homos and sissies get fucked. Penetration is an act of domination. A real man doesn't get fucked—he does the fucking."

In short, we don't buy that. We have personally spoken to men from all over the masculinity spectrum and men of many different sexual orientations who love prostate play. You may not hear about it because (with the exception of some sexual  subcultures) it's pretty hush-hush, but that doesn't mean it isn't happening!

The prostate is a part of your sex equipment and can be a source of great pleasure—whether you're doing this with a woman, with a man, or by yourself. That's why plenty of men of all orientations and all degrees of masculinity/femininity are into prostate play.

Not convinced? Check out chapter 13, Real Men Don't, and you'll find our explanation of where these negative ideas come from and why they are total nonsense. If these concerns are getting in your way, now might be a good time to skip ahead to that chapter before you read any further.

#  **"Won't people think I'm weird?"**

Some might—so don't tell them! Lots of others think it's A-OK. Just because some people may be uncomfortable with the idea of prostate play doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it.

The sexual practices that are considered "weird" or "perverted" are always evolving. In the 50s, oral sex was a scandalous affair—think how commonplace (even vanilla!) that practice is considered today. Anal sex with a woman receiving was also quite taboo in recent decades, but now it's very common for women to try it and enjoy it. Who knows? Maybe in 10 or 20 years, male receptive anal penetration and prostate massage will be passé and some other kind of play will be the new taboo.

The point is, whether or not the kind of sex you have is "weird" always depends on who you ask. So ask yourself.

#  **"My partner won't be into that"**

This one comes up a lot for male–female couples. Many men with female partners are concerned that the lady in question won't be interested in this sort of play: that she will be grossed out, will think it's weird, or will ask him if he's gay. Well, it's certainly true that some women will react in these ways. But quite a few others will be thrilled to explore prostate play, or will at least be open to trying it. As with any other sexual activity, the best thing to do is talk with your partner about it. (For more tips on opening the conversation for male–female pairings, see chapter 8, Bringing Up the Topic.)

_**"I think my boyfriend was shy about asking me to penetrate him because he had some shame and fear of rejection around his desire for anal play, but I had no inhibitions about it."**_

If your girlfriend or wife was the one to suggest prostate play and you're feeling a little nervous about it, we suggest giving it a try. If you discover that you like it, it's one more fun way to have sex. And if you don't enjoy it, at least you were open to checking it out. This makes it a lot easier to bring up your own fantasies and desires when you want to ask her to try them out.

_**"My girlfriend at the time loved having her ass played with and was able to convince me to see how good it could feel. This led to my discovery of how much more intense my orgasm could be when my prostate was being stimulated."**_

#  **"My cock is all I need to get off"**

For many men, the cock is the star of the show, and that is 100 percent OK. You can keep right on strokin' if that's your inclination. No one is suggesting that you tuck your cock away in the closet and forget about it.

But your cock isn't the only part of your body where you can experience pleasure. There are nerves all over your body just waiting to deliver pleasing sensations to your brain, and there's no reason to ignore them.

Some people seem to think that men should get all their pleasure from their cock: that it somehow makes you more masculine if you fixate on the cock to the exclusion of the rest of the body. But we think this is a limiting belief. We are fully in favor of men experiencing more pleasure. Actually, we want _everyone_ to have more pleasure.

_**"I like to know all the spots on my body that can give me pleasure."**_

Maybe it feels good to have your nipples teased. Or maybe you like fingers running through your hair, or having your back scratched. The prostate is just one more part of your body that can feel good to the touch. Lots of men enjoy prostate play in combination with cock play, as a nice enhancer to a hand job or oral sex. Others can enjoy the prostate on its own. Whether or not you include the cock in your prostate play is a simple matter of personal preference.

Exploring new ways of feeling good does not mean that you have to give up old ones. Nor does it mean that you will have to do this every time. You are simply trying something new. If you don't like it, you don't ever have to do it again.  And if you do enjoy it, it can be a tasty new dish to add to your menu of erotic options!

#  **"I had a prostate exam at the doctor's and it didn't feel good at all!"**

If your first experience of prostate stimulation happened at the doctor's office, it's not a surprise that it didn't feel good. That's because doctors are trained to make pelvic exams as nonsexual as possible. Of course, they don't want it to feel bad, but they also don't want to raise any questions of sexual harassment with their patients, so they learn how to make it as neutral as they can. Plus, the office may have been chilly, and unless you enjoy doctor–patient role play, the situation was probably about as unerotic as it gets. But don't worry—that doesn't mean you won't like prostate play when it's part of sex.

Think about it like this: plenty of women have had neutral or unpleasant experiences getting pelvic exams at the gynecologist's office, but that doesn't mean they don't enjoy vaginal penetration. The fun kind of prostate play is very different from what happened during your medical exam, so don't let that hold you back.

#  **"Are there health risks?"**

Anal penetration involves some risk, though it's pretty easy to minimize it. Rectal tissue is delicate, so it's important to use care and common sense: don't push yourself too hard, never insert an unsafe object, and be mindful that drugs and alcohol may increase your risk of injury by dulling your awareness of  pain. For a full list of safety guidelines, see chapter 5, Penetration 101.

That being said, lots of people enjoy anal play very regularly with no long-term ill effects. Some people worry that their sphincter will become loose over time and eventually they won't be able to control their bowel movements, but this is an urban legend. The most common injury resulting from anal penetration is fissures (tiny cuts in the rectal lining), which tend to result from overzealousness. These are usually minor and generally heal on their own.

As for the specific act of massaging the prostate, there is little risk. After all, prostate massage is a routine medical procedure performed by doctors to extract prostatic fluid for testing. In fact, some medical professionals suggest that regular prostate massage can be beneficial to your health by clearing blockages and flushing out potential irritants. For more information regarding the possible health benefits of prostate massage, see chapter 15.

There are certain situations in which prostate massage could be harmful. If you have an acute infection of the prostate, massage may increase the risk of blood poisoning. (See chapter 14, Prostate Health.) However, acute infection comes with serious symptoms of fever and malaise and a very tender prostate that would hurt like the dickens to massage, so it's not likely that you'd want to anyway!

Also, you can get hurt if you are penetrating yourself with an unsafe object or pressing excessively hard. But generally, the main risk is a little bit of bruising, which will result in soreness the following day.

#  **"That all sounds great, but I still don't know how to find my prostate!"**

Well, read on, fearless reader! And we will tell you.


Input:
 The prompt for the above section of the story could be:

" Write a chapter titled 'The Sexy Prostate' that discusses the erogenous nature of the prostate gland. Include information on how the prostate can create pleasurable sensations when stimulated, its role during arousal, and how it can lead to more powerful orgasms. Address the differences between prostate stimulation and penis stimulation, and discuss the concept of prostate orgasms and full-body orgasms. Also, provide information on the potential for multiple orgasms and the role of the PC muscle in achieving them. Finally, discuss the prostate's role in anal pleasure and the potential psychological benefits of prostate stimulation, such as intimacy and role reversal."

Response:
**CHAPTER** **2**

**THE SEXY PROSTATE**

_**"The sensations have varied significantly from session to session. It's difficult to describe—they can vary from significant discomfort, to a feeling of needing to urinate, to no major sensations but an intense feeling of arousal, to complete ecstasy unlike any other sexual experience I've had."**_

#  **A LITTLE-KNOWN PLEASURE ZONE**

The prostate gland is an erogenous zone for a lot of men. It's an area that can create pleasurable, erotic feelings when stimulated. Other erogenous zones include (but are not limited to) the penis, scrotum, clitoris, labia, vagina, nipples, breasts, lips (of the mouth) and the anal area. Many guys have experienced intense pleasure and broader, more powerful orgasms  during prostate play. Stimulation of the prostate can trigger an orgasm, and sometimes this happens with prostate play alone, without any cock play.

Although the prostate is not as easy to reach as some of the more readily available erogenous zones, you can find it by inserting a finger about 3–4 inches into the anus and pressing toward the front of the body. The sensation transmits easily through the wall of the rectum to the prostate, which is just on the other side. You can also apply indirect pressure to the prostate through the perineum (the area between the testicles and the anus). According to many men, it takes firm pressure to evoke prostate sensations. Light caresses may feel good, but usually won't bring up the particular sensations that we are talking about.

During arousal, the prostate gland swells, becoming physically larger. Frequently, this swelling is dramatic enough that the giver of a prostate massage can feel the difference with his or her finger. Many men report that they feel the most pleasure when they receive prostate massage at a high level of arousal, when the gland is very engorged. Likewise, too much pressure on an unengorged prostate may feel uninteresting, uncomfortable, or even painful. The swelling increases dramatically just before ejaculation, and many men can take very firm pressure leading up to and during climax.

It may come as a surprise to hear that the prostate can be an erogenous zone. Many men have never heard of the prostate, except in relation to cancer and uncomfortable rectal exams at the doctor's office. Outside the gay community and other sexual subcultures, male-receptive anal penetration is often  considered taboo, so even though lots of men of all sexual orientations play with their prostate with a partner or during masturbation, many of them are not talking about it openly. As a result, the erotic nature of the prostate is not widely acknowledged in mainstream culture. We think this is a pity. However, this is changing as more and more male–female pairs are learning about and trying out this kind of play.

**YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY**

Hearing descriptions of the erogenous nature of the prostate may be helpful when you are first trying prostate play. It can be exciting to know what the possibilities are. And if your first few tries don't work out the way you had hoped, it can be encouraging to hear other people's positive experiences.

However, any description you read about how prostate play feels is necessarily about how it feels _to someone else_. With prostate play, or any other kind of sex, what's most important is how it feels _to you_. And the only way to find out how it feels to you is to try it for yourself, and then experiment and practice.

Someone else's description may not match what you feel. It might simply be that you are using different words to describe a similar feeling. For example, one guy may describe a swollen, engorged prostate as feeling "full" while another might say it feels "heavy." There is a limit to how well a subjective sensation can be translated into words.

Also, with any kind of sexual experience, tastes differ. What you like won't work for everyone, and what someone else enjoys might not work for you. And on top of that, preferences change over time. Don't worry if your experiences are different from someone else's—this is normal! Everyone is different, and it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you if the things we describe don't work for you right away, or ever.

For some men, playing with their prostate feels good the very first time, while others may not feel pleasure right away. The prostate may be tender for the first few experiences, and for those who are new to anal penetration, there may be some discomfort associated with it. This tends to decrease with practice as the prostate and anus grow accustomed to being stimulated, and it is possible for someone who doesn't feel much pleasure at first to come to like it if he tries it again at a later time.

Initially, pressure on this area is unfamiliar and might feel very strange. The area may feel numb, or produce a tingling sensation. It is also very common to say that it makes you feel like you have to pee. If the stimulation continues, these feelings often give way to pleasure. Men have described the feelings of pleasure as being "almost unbearably intense" and "excruciatingly good."

_"At first it made me feel like I had to pee and now I am not sure I can describe it other than 'amazing.'"_

_"[I feel] discomfort—at first, with some feeling like I need to pee, but then it just starts [to] accentuate the feelings from my cock and anal sphincter."_

_"Sort of a cross between the need to urinate and come."_

_"At first, the pressure is foreign and made me worried that I might need to use the restroom. There are times when the pressure can make my bladder feel very full. I've learned that this is just normal for me so I'm able to relax and not worry about the sensation if it occurs (which it doesn't very often)."_

_"Originally it felt utterly alien and brought neither pleasure nor discomfort. Now I have had anal orgasms from this."_

#  **A UNIQUE SENSATION**

Cock play and prostate play can both be intensely pleasurable, and many men are struck by how distinctly different these two sensations feel. The way it feels to touch the head of the cock is quite different from the way it feels to contact the prostate. They have both have been described as "more intense" in their own way.

Sensations from cock stimulation are often described as "focused," "localized," or "specific to one area," and also as "external" and "superficial." Typically, the sensations are concentrated in the penis (especially at the head) and are very intensely felt in that area.

By comparison, prostate stimulation tends to feel "dull," "diffuse," and "less sharp." It is also described as "broader" and "more encompassing" of a larger area. The stimulation feels "internal" and seems to "radiate from within" and "extend outward," having an effect on other parts of the genitals, the pelvis, or the whole body.

_"Prostate stimulation can be otherworldly, like you are not sure where the pleasure is coming from. Penis stimulation, now, while still nice, is more to the point."_

_"Totally different. [Prostate stimulation feels] duller and less intense in the sense of concentrated excitement, but very powerful and intense in a more full-body experience way."_

_"It is a deeper, fuller, more encompassing pleasure, radiating from within the body instead of feeling like external stimulation." "Penile stimulation is about certain external 'hot spots,' while prostate stimulation is all internal."_

In our survey, almost every part of the body was named as an area to which sensations could radiate during prostate massage. However, certain parts were emphasized, especially the penis (head, shaft, and base), the testicles, the anus, and the pelvic area generally. There may be a "noticeable increase in strength of erection and blood flow," and feelings of "warmth," "fullness," "swelling," "pulsing," or "throbbing" in the specific areas of the genitals, or the whole genital region.

_"It makes my ass and cock tingle in the most delicious way that gets me harder than any other stimulation."_

_"Stroking my prostate feels like some invisible hand is also stroking my cock and balls in close synchronization."_

_"The sensation often seems to radiate into the testes and base of the penis, sometimes making the head throb. Sometimes I get shivers."_

_"[It] feels like the head of my penis is going to explode, feels really incredible. My entire penis pulses."_

_"My penis is much more sensitive when my prostate is being stimulated."_

A number of men reported that the radiating sensations throughout the pelvic area brought up a feeling of unification of the genitals. One man responded to the question "How is the sensation of prostate stimulation different from that of penis stimulation?" by saying, "It isn't. It makes it feel like my cock starts at my ass."

_"It brings together all the erogenous zones into one 'total' pleasure zone, connecting penis stimulation with anal stimulation."_

_"It is a deeper, more intense sensation that feels like your penis is being stimulated from behind...from its origin inside."_

_"Slow in-and-out stimulation feels like a total release and total gathering of my entire pelvic/anal regions."_

A number of men also emphasized that sensations are felt radiating "everywhere, the whole body." Some described it as "tingling," "shivers," or "a warm feeling all over."

_"[I feel an] all-over bodily sensation, a sense of my whole body being connected to that spot. [I feel it as] sexual pleasure to the whole penis, and as a glowing, good feeling in my whole body."_

**PROSTATE PLEASURE FOR TRANSGENDER WOMEN**

Though this book is addressed to men, it's important to note that transgender women also have a prostate. Transgender women are persons who were assigned a male gender at birth but identify as female. They might choose to take a variety of steps to bring their gender identity and their body into closer alignment, such as taking hormones and surgery.

The transgender women we've heard from have had varying experiences with prostate play, ranging from "I don't do it at all" to "I enjoy it a lot!" Some women may call it "my prostate," while others prefer to call it "my G-spot" or use other terms.

One woman who enjoys prostate play shared her experience with us: "I absolutely love to have my prostate rubbed like a genie bottle or a turntable. It makes me feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff and my toes are curling and squeezing the last of the soil and I couldn't give a shit if I fell. Just pure bliss."

Another woman offered a very different perspective: "I am quick to say I don't see my prostate as a pleasurable entity. It might be. I am not aware of it. I see it more as a remnant of male stuff I am not interested in. I don't hate it or anything. It is just one more thing I have reminding me of all that 'stuff.' If I am sexually excited I don't have a form of 'Oh, that's my prostate' or anything. If I did it would creep me out. No, I'll just go on blissfully ignorant to any contribution to pleasure my prostate provides. Serious buzzkill comes to mind."

Because people can have such different thoughts and feelings about prostate play, it's always best to ask instead of trying to guess. In our view, that's good advice about any kind of sex!

Since different women make different choices regarding genital realignment surgery, there are various possibilities when it comes to P-spot play. Those who have not had genital surgery can locate it using the same techniques that work on cisgender men. Transgender women who choose genital surgery may stimulate it in  a different way, depending on the exact procedure used. One method positions the vaginal canal behind the prostate, which puts the prostate in the general location of the G-spot in cisgender women. However, the vaginal canal will often be angled more sharply, depending on each person's individual anatomy. As a result, some transgender women will not need as much tilt in their hips or as curved a toy to reach the prostate.

Also, many take hormones to feminize the body, and this may have an effect on prostate play as well. These hormones cause the prostate to shrink, which may make it more difficult to locate. At this time, there aren't any studies that explore prostate sensitivity, but some transgender women report that after taking hormones for a while they stop ejaculating, and that the feeling of the orgasm is different. One woman describes her experience: "I must say that having my prostate stimulated does not make me come immediately the way it did before hormones and testosterone blockers. Now it is more of a build up and release of energy, with or without ejaculation."

Because someone's erotic sensations from prostate stimulation may shift, your best bet is to ask what their desires and preferences are. The answers will vary from person to person and may shift over time, so don't assume that what a previous partner enjoyed will work for a new one. It's also a good idea to ask a transgender woman her preferred language for talking about this kind of play: prostate play, G-spot, or something else. Let her choices around this guide your actions.

#  **PROSTATE ORGASM**

In addition to feeling really good, prostate stimulation can trigger an orgasm. In some cases, this happens almost immediately. Many men say that they sometimes feel "like I'm about to come" nearly instantly after the prostate is touched,  and sometimes _do_ actually come right away. This is especially common among men who are new to the stimulation. The pleasure is so sudden and unexpected that they may go right over the edge.

_"When my prostate is stimulated, I sometimes feel as if I am going to climax immediately (and sometimes do)."_

_"It feels like I am being physically pushed toward ejaculation."_

_"[I] have ejaculated instantly after prostate contact."_

Prostate stimulation can trigger an ejaculatory orgasm with or without simultaneous cock stimulation, though it is much more common when both of these areas are pleasured at the same time. (Prostate stimulation can trigger nonejaculatory orgasms as well—more on that below.) Also, some find that prostate massage makes it easier to come more quickly during penis stimulation, and to come without being fully erect.

_"I have never actually come until I stimulate my penis, even if it is just one quick stroke."_

_"I can't orgasm from just prostate stimulation like some. I need to masturbate in unison."_

_"I've never ejaculated solely from prostate stimulation, but it makes it possible to orgasm after only a few strokes of the penis. Prostate stimulation also makes it easier to ejaculate without the penis being fully erect."_

When prostate massage leads to an ejaculatory orgasm without cock stimulation, it is sometimes referred to as "milking the prostate." However, this term is also sometimes used to mean prostate massage generally, since massage stimulates the release of prostatic fluid. It is common for fluid to run from the tip of the cock, ranging from a few drops to an abundant flow, even without ejaculation.

Orgasms from prostate massage alone are often described as coming on very suddenly and unexpectedly. It is common for those who have had this experience to say that it happened only once or twice, and that they have found it difficult to replicate the experience intentionally.

_"[It] caught me by surprise. Intensity went from 3 to 10 in seconds. Has only happened twice."_

_"THAT was intense and pleasurable, but we haven't figured out how to repeat it."_

Just as many men report that prostate sensations feel different from cock sensations, orgasms that involve prostate stimulation (with or without ejaculation) often feel different from those that come from cock stimulation alone. The differences between the two types of orgasm mirror the differences between the sensations generally. According to some men's descriptions, the orgasm is felt "deeper" in the body, and the prostate is felt to be the trigger of the orgasm, the place where the orgasm originates.

_"Oftentimes the prostate triggers the orgasm and it usually feels deeper."_

_"It feels like it comes from the base of the penis rather than the tip."_

_"Rather than the pressure (for lack of a better word) building up in the tip of the penis, it builds up in the base."_

_"They begin with a deeper feeling like a wave that rolls up and overwhelms me."_

Penis-focused orgasms tend to feel localized. The sensation is powerful and very pleasurable, but it is centered in a limited, local area—namely, the area of the genitals and particularly the cock. Prostate-focused orgasms, on the other hand, often feel broader and more diffuse, and are reported to last longer. The sensation may be felt in larger portions of the genital area, the pelvis, and even the whole body (full-body orgasm).

_"It is the gateway to full-body orgasm."_

_"I often have a whole body orgasm, a kind of ripple through and a sense of being out of my body."_

_"The orgasm is usually far more intense. The orgasm seems to radiate all over my body instead of being localized."_

_"It seems bigger, like I'm opened up inside and can contain more pleasure, if that makes sense."_

**FULL-BODY ORGASM**

Full-body orgasms are known by many names, including Tantric orgasm, implosive orgasm, and energy orgasm. People who have experienced one describe it as taking the pleasure sensation that you feel during orgasm and spreading it out through the body, drawing it to other parts so that you feel orgasmic sensations not just in the genitals, but all over.

Somraj Pokras and Jeffre TallTrees, authors of the e-book _Tantric Male Multiple G-spot Orgasm_ , put it this way: "When Kundalini energy streams throughout your body, it's as if every cell is climaxing. Yes, those same ecstatic vibrations you normally feel in your jewels during an explosion, you feel them everywhere." (For an explanation of Kundalini energy, see the sidebar "The Root Chakra" in chapter 3.)

Because prostate sensations already tend to feel "broader," many men find that prostate play lends itself very well to spreading the sensation beyond the genital area. This is a technique that may require a lot of practice, but if you'd like to learn it, check out the e-book mentioned above, or Mantak Chia's guide to multiple orgasms.

The orgasm is often described as more intense than an orgasm that doesn't involve prostate stimulation. There may also be a sense of releasing control.

_"My orgasms are always much stronger, by a factor of three or four times at least."_

_"The orgasms of prostate play combined with penile stimulation tend to be stronger and more intense than with penile stimulation alone."_

_"It comes from the inside, it's totally different in that I cannot control anything, I really feel that I need to relinquish control totally."_

Many men say that ejaculation during prostate play feels "more powerful," "forceful," or "explosive," with stronger contractions, and the ejaculation/orgasm tends to last longer. There is often quite a lot of fluid dripping prior to ejaculation, and possibly a larger-than-average volume of semen. This is great fun for those who eroticize sex fluids and appreciate large quantities.

When the prostate is massaged during ejaculation, the fluid may flow out rather than shoot out. This may be a downer for fans of more dramatic, projectile ejaculations. (If you're in this boat, just arrange yourself in a facedown position so that gravity is on your side!)

_"Extremely intense. More feelings of pleasure from the ejaculation than without prostate stimulation. And a feeling of way more ejaculate."_

_"My orgasms are larger and the ejaculation pressure is much greater."_

_"Such orgasms are very strong and tend to produce much more semen… The pulses are very strong, like all the organs are pumping as hard as possible."_

_"The ejaculation is less of a spurt and goes on for longer."_

Orgasms that occur during prostate stimulation are also associated with stronger and more long-lasting after-effects.

_"It doesn't seem to end as fast, or be the cliff of enjoyment that occurs after non-prostate stimulation orgasm."_

_"Following a session of fisting, PC contractions elicit waves of pleasure for as much as a few hours while my prostate is still hypersensitized."_

_"I find that pleasurable sensations continue much longer than after a 'normal' orgasm, both in terms of the prostate itself and a heightened sense of postcoital release and relaxation."_

#  **LINGERING ON THE BRINK**

We mentioned that when the prostate is contacted, sometimes it feels like you're about to come right away, and sometimes men _do_ come almost instantly. However, it is also possible to stay with that feeling of being about to come without actually going over the edge and ejaculating.

In fact, even though prostate massage can bring you so quickly to the verge of orgasm/ejaculation, many men say that they find it easier to hold off from ejaculating with prostate play than during penile stimulation. This is particularly true if you are judicious about how much you stimulate the cock at the same time: "Too much penis stimulation with prostate stimulation will make me orgasm too quickly every time," one respondent said.

_"The sensation is less intensely pleasurable, but also less urgent; it is easier to enjoy it in its own right without feeling compelled to continue to orgasm."_

_"[It feels] like it is causing me to and preventing me from orgasm at the same time."_

_"It's very difficult for me to ejaculate from anal play alone—which is something I really like about it, as it can lengthen the experience and make the entire session much more satisfying."_

If you are able to resist the impulse to ejaculate, you can linger in that "preorgasmic" feeling. Prostate play can give you that feeling of impending orgasm for an extended period of time, instead of just a few moments before ejaculation, as with a typical ejaculatory orgasm. The duration ranges from many minutes to hours. There is a sense that the feeling "can be perpetuated basically indefinitely."

_"Prostate stimulation gives me a feeling like no other, almost euphoric, constantly on the verge of coming." "The sensation is very similar [to] the sensation I feel right before_

_I have an orgasm. The best thing about it is that this sensation can be prolonged for long periods of time rather than just the fleeting seconds prior to the orgasm itself."_

_"The few moments before ejaculation are intense, and prostate play increases the length of time that occurs."_

_"It is a feeling I want to last. It's hard to stop prostate stimulation because it is so good. It's not about wanting the release of orgasm. It is a deeper gratification."_

_"Sometimes having my penis stimulated and ejaculating is just a way to stop."_

In this way, prostate stimulation can take on a different arousal pattern than cock stimulation. Penis stimulation typically (but not always) builds up to the brink of ejaculatory orgasm. You spend a few moments in the preorgasmic state,  and then you go over the edge, ejaculate, and enter a refractory period (of varying duration) during which you can't become erect, have an orgasm, or ejaculate again. With prostate stimulation, it is possible to jump very quickly to the brink of orgasm, but then you can stay in that state for a very long time.

To put this another way, let's say that on a scale of zero to 10, zero is a completely unaroused state and 10 is the peak of orgasm. During cock stimulation, the arousal level often hits a plateau, though there may be peaks and valleys along the way. When orgasm happens, it jumps up to 8, 9, and 10 in a very short time frame, then drops rapidly to zero.

With prostate play, if you aren't rushing yourself or causing pain during penetration, there will generally be some arousal already happening, either from simultaneous cock stimulation or at least from stimulation of the sensitive nerves of the anus, so you're probably at least in the 3 to 5 range, if not higher. Once the gland is contacted, the arousal can jump quite suddenly to an 8, but then it can hover around that level for a much longer time. Some say this happens almost immediately, while others say that it may take them a little while to get there, but the experience of hovering at that level is quite common.

Some men say that while lingering on the brink they experience intermittent and repeated peaks of intensity. Some describe this as an orgasm (a 10!), while others seem to think of it as "orgasmic" but not quite an orgasm. However, the experience is described very similarly by those who say it's an orgasm and those who don't call it that, so it's possible that they are actually talking about the same thing. It is typical to  describe it as a wave that crashes over you. After these peaks, the arousal level can return to an 8 and hover there again until the stimulation stops or ejaculation ushers in the refractory period.

_"A penile orgasm is very much about the need to come and is centered in that area. You just work your penis and the pressure builds, then you pop… P-spot orgasm is much more like a wave crashing down on you. When it hits, you feel it over all of your body. The P-spot orgasm is something that does not pop. [It is] more like waves that run across your body one after another."_

_"The sensations from prostate stimulation [can] be as intensely pleasurable as an orgasm, though not following the same kind of pattern (a huge wave of pleasure which then slowly peters out). It is more like repeated spikes of orgasmic pleasure with no real resolution."_

_"Repeated stimulation (in–out motions or occasionally vibrations) can create incredibly pleasurable sensations that do not conform to the standard arousal pattern (excitement, plateau, orgasm, resolution). Instead, it tends to deliver pleasurable sensations that are not linear and are more stochastic in nature, seeming to never reach a single, conclusive peak."_

_"The orgasm involves entire body convulsions which are extremely pleasurable. It lasts approximately 3 minutes per orgasm and the orgasms tend to come in waves, with a great amount of precum but little or no ejaculate."_

#  **MULTIPLE ORGASMS**

Many people use the terms _orgasm_ and _ejaculation_ interchangeably, at least when talking about men's sexual responses. Although orgasm and ejaculation often happen at the same time, or at least close together, they are not the same thing. Ejaculation is the emission and expulsion of semen, while orgasm is the experience of pleasurable release. In terms of the nervous system, ejaculation is a spinal cord reflex, whereas orgasm happens in the cerebral cortex of the brain.

Because ejaculation and orgasm are two distinct processes, it is possible to have one without the other. If you've ever reached the "point of no return" during sex or masturbation and the motion was interrupted, you may have discovered that it is possible to ejaculate without the usual pleasure of orgasm. One fellow told us, "Once, I ejaculated from prostate stimulation alone without experiencing orgasm. That was boring."

Luckily, it goes the other way too: you can also have an orgasm without ejaculating, which means that it is possible for men to have multiple orgasms. Because ejaculation causes a latency period of at least a few minutes (sometimes a lot longer) during which you can't ejaculate again, usually an ejaculatory orgasm means no more orgasms for a while. But if you learn to orgasm without ejaculating, there is no latency period and you can keep going! (If you'd like to learn how to be multiorgasmic, see the Resources at the back of the book for some guides that we recommend.)

Once you learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation, it is possible to have as many as eight or more orgasms during  a prolonged session. Many men who practice this technique have a series of nonejaculatory orgasms and then wrap it up with an ejaculatory one. Or you might choose not to ejaculate at all, in the Taoist tradition of withholding ejaculation.

If you're interested in exploring multiple orgasm techniques, you'll want to get your PC muscle in shape. Actually, that's a good idea whether your agenda includes multiple orgasms or not. Check out chapter 6, Searching for the "Magic Button," for info.

Some men say that ending the session with ejaculation feels more intense than ejaculating from penis stimulation alone, though some men report that it can actually feel less intense, or only slightly more intense than usual. However, they may feel that the prolonged experience of "lingering on the brink" is intense enough to make that worthwhile. And it can even vary from one session to another, for the same guy.

_"Often I find that the penile sensations during orgasm are reduced by prostate stimulation, though paradoxically the sensations leading up to orgasm are dramatically more intense. The orgasmic pleasure itself tends to be less localized to any particular area of my body and can range from less intense than my average penile orgasm to significantly more intense."_

_"When I do reach orgasm, the orgasm can be extremely strong or it can end up being weak, even if I was really excited to begin with. In those cases, the prostate stimulation became an end in itself, and the main experience of pleasure."_

#  **THE PROSTATE'S ROLE IN ANAL PLEASURE**

Men who enjoy prostate sensation often consider it to be the main event when it comes to anal penetration. It can be a major contributor to the pleasure of being penetrated, and for some, it's the whole point. However, the prostate is not the only reason why anal play can feel good for a man—there are many highly sensitive nerve endings at the anal opening, and lots of men enjoy the feeling of having the rectum filled up as well.

Some men feel prostate sensations as distinct among the other pleasurable sensations of anal penetration. One fellow described his experience: "Anal pleasure is the general feeling of fullness. The prostate is more like hitting that special button. Anal pleasure is mostly made by the sensation of being filled up and stretched out and penetrated. And prostate play involves a very special set of nerves. They coincide but it's a whole different frequency. When it suddenly hits, there's an 'ooh!' Of course, it's tricky when that 'ooh' happens not to tense up and lose it, but to ride out that sensation."

Others don't notice prostate sensations as distinct: "For me, anal penetration feels good and feels better than external anal stimulation. Based on my reading I believe that the prostate accounts for much of that [...] though frankly apart from reading I don't know that I would have concluded that there was a special spot corresponding to the prostate that was especially pleasurable."

In cases like this it is unclear whether the person is actually feeling his prostate but doesn't sense it as distinct from  other pleasurable sensations, or is just not tuning in to his prostate (in the same way that a woman can have her vagina penetrated but not feel G-spot sensations).

However, there are some instances where it is fairly clear that a man has stimulated the area of the prostate during penetration, because he describes some of the other hallmarks of prostate stimulation (particularly needing to pee), but he doesn't like it. Some of these men simply don't enjoy anal penetration at all. However, there are those who say they enjoy anal penetration very much but applying pressure to the prostate just doesn't feel good. Or, they may say they can enjoy a slight grazing of the prostate during penetration, but focused pressure, as with a prostate massage, feels "overwhelming."

_"I enjoy anal play, I wanted to try this. I actually don't enjoy it, it's a weird pressure and inhibits my orgasms… I generally try to avoid it and just have the anal without the pressure."_

_"I did not enjoy the feeling of pressure in my abdomen. This feeling has been prevalent throughout my anal play experiments, and I've not been able to derive pleasure from the stimulation."_

_"Counterintuitively, I find that indirect prostate stimulation sometimes produces a more intense orgasm than direct prostate stimulation. For example, inserting a finger less than 1 inch and pressing inward against the walls of the inner sphincter often produces very sharp, explosive pleasure on the prostate itself during orgasm. Conversely, inserting a finger [deeper] to directly massage the prostate often generates a more vague, diffuse, 'uninspired' orgasm."_

#  **OTHER REASONS TO ENJOY PROSTATE STIMULATION**

In addition to all the delicious sensations we have described, there are a number of other reasons why men enjoy prostate stimulation. Many said that they love the variety that it brings to their sex life. Also, if the man is usually on the giving end of penetration, the role reversal can be a nice change as well as a psychological turn-on.

_"It gives me variety to add to masturbation."_

_"The prospect of a new type of pleasure, as well as the exploration of my body and sexuality, is what made me interested in trying it."_

_"I enjoy exploring my body and pleasuring myself."_

_"It feels great and offers me a realm of sexual exploration outside of the limited palette that men are often stuck with."_

_"I like the sense of role reversal, with my wife penetrating me."_

_"It makes me feel like my partner is interested in giving me pleasure, and that makes me feel desired and sexy."_

_"It is very erotic—being able to relax and have my partner take care of me."_

_"It's nice to not be 'in charge.'"_

Others expressed appreciation for the "naughty" factor. Because of the widespread idea that men are not supposed to receive, let alone enjoy, penetration, it can feel like you are doing something "forbidden," and that can add a major psychological charge. The common notion that penetration is an act of dominance opens the door to fantasies of dominance and submission for those who enjoy that kind of role play.

_"It's the secret spot and secrets can be sweet."_

_"The physical sensation is great, as well as the psychological stimulation of doing something 'naughty.'"_

_"We incorporate it into our BDSM play and it's erotic because she dominates me with this play."_

_"The idea of being dominated and penetrated is an incredibly sexy one to me."_

Others emphasize the deep feelings of intimacy that they experience when they open up (literally and figuratively) to their partner. Because of the vulnerability associated with anal penetration, it takes a great deal of trust in your partner to let them play with that part of your body. Experiencing that trust can make you feel closer.

_"[For me] it's definitely not because it's 'forbidden' or 'naughty.' It feels very intimate. The sensation of penetration, having someone inside you, has an unparalleled sense of erotic closeness."_

_"The psychological part is enjoying being fucked, of opening my body to another. Feeling him/her inside me."_

_"I enjoy it because my butt is the most sensitive part of my body, and also where I feel the greatest amount of vulnerability with a partner—meaning I get to feel the trust with a partner enough to fully let go of my inhibitions, emotionally, and give myself to another. Feels very empowering, plus the sensations are fantastic."_

_"It takes a lot of trust to let someone play with you that way. The level of openness and trust is erotic."_

With all these different experiences, thoughts, and feelings about prostate play, there are many possibilities for you to explore. Part of what makes it so exciting is that you get to find out how it will work for you!