Input: Write a section titled "Combining Intimacy and Sex: Turning up the Heat" that explores the complexities of intimacy in sexual relationships, particularly for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Discuss how intimacy requires feelings of safety, vulnerability, and transparency, and how it can intensify the risk and vulnerability in a sexual relationship. Include personal anecdotes from survivors that illustrate their experiences with intimacy in the context of their healing journey. Also, discuss the importance of self-intimacy and being present with oneself as a practice for being intimate with others.

Response:
#  Combining Intimacy and Sex: Turning up the Heat

Being emotionally intimate with sex partners may seem like a given by social standards. We are taught that we should to be in love before we have sex, and that sex should lead to partnership. While sex is physically intimate, it does not necessarily involve emotional or spiritual intimacy. People have sex with people they love, like, and don't know—and even with people they don't like. Sharing emotional and spiritual intimacy are only two of many reasons people have sex. Being in a relationship is no guarantee of intimacy, either. It is possible to be married or partnered for years and have very nonintimate sex.

> > I like having sex with friends and other people I know I am not going to get involved with. It gives me room to explore and be playful, and I get triggered a lot less.
>
> Rebecca
>
>> I don't think I've had truly intimate sex, the gazing into each other's eyes sex, with my husband for years. Our sex has become very functional.
>
> Jackie

Intimacy requires feeling safe and being willing to be vulnerable and more transparent than usual. You can experience an instantaneous connection with someone you've just met. Lasting intimacy, however, is built over time and involves both conflict and ease as you come to know and be known in all of your most vulnerable and imperfect aspects. Intimacy is an ongoing process of risking and revealing as you share yourself with another. The experience of intimacy can be creative and generative.

> > I used to think I was great at being intimate and close; then I started healing.
>  A lot of that closeness was my survival cover, a way to feel safe and to try to
>  be loved and loving. A lot of me wasn't there, though. I acted in a way I
>  thought the person wanted me to, trying to fulfill their needs. Maybe they felt
>  close, but I didn't.
>
>
> Rosa
>
>> Being intimate, really vulnerable with another person is the most terrifying part of my healing. Letting myself actually depend on someone again is a big, big risk.
>
> Louisa

In my work with survivors, I find that intimacy intensifies the risk and the vulnerability of a sexual relationship. When we are intimate with a partner, we face a greater risk of losing her or of needing him, and even of being loved. As we feel safer, the unfinished business of our abuse will enter the relationship more readily. We tend to unravel more easily in an intimate relationship.

> > I can get deeply sexual, into my body—let's go to it, babe—with someone until the emotional intensity of our relationship becomes greater than the sexual intensity. Then, my sexuality fades, turns off. I am looking for a time when those two will be seamless.—Akaya
>
>> The closer I get to my boyfriend, the more I want to have sex with other guys.
>  I want sex to be easy and light. I want to be in control of it and not feel so vulnerable.
>  Now that we are closer and I have risked more, our sex isn't like that
>  anymore.
>
>
> Shandell

For women who have been sexually abused by family members, having sex with someone who feels like "family" can seem incestuous. Making commitments, such as moving in together, can be triggering.

> > About four years into my relationship, my partner hit "family status" in my
>  heart. On the one hand it was great; I was letting myself trust more deeply than
>  I ever had. On the other hand, I did not want to have sex with my "family." I
>  finally wanted to live in a safe house, with a safe family that I didn't have to
>  have sex with.
>
>
> Janet

It's easier to keep the sexual abuse and triggers compartmentalized when you are emotionally distant from your partner. You may find it easier to be sexual outside of intimate relationships. You may find yourself having nonintimate or "checked out" sex with someone you are emotionally very close to.

> > Once I get close to someone, I start to go away when we are sexual. I feel far away from them, and wonder what I ever liked about them anyway. I want to get away to feel safe.
>
> Laura
>
>> Sex is easiest with people I hardly know.
>
> Lourdes

Just as masturbation is a good way to get to know your sexuality, intimacy with yourself is good practice for being intimate with others. Intimacy with yourself is not about isolation. Intimacy with yourself means accompanying yourself through all of your feelings, sensations, thoughts, wackiness, and imperfections. It is getting closer to yourself. The more you can be present with yourself, the easier it will be to be present with another.


Input: Write a section titled "Sensitive versus Intimate" that differentiates between being sensitive and being intimate in relationships, particularly for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Discuss how survivors can be highly sensitive due to their past experiences, but that sensitivity does not always translate to intimacy. Define intimacy as being fully present with oneself and another, and discuss its connection to conflict resolution, communication, boundary setting, self-dignity, affirmation, trust, and support. Provide practical tips and exercises for building intimacy, such as practicing embodiment, emotional sourcing, and boundary exercises, and encourage the reader to seek out a friend or coach to help them learn about intimacy.

Response:
##  Sensitive versus Intimate

Survivors can be amazingly sensitive and receptive to other people. We've been well trained there! When you were being abused, survival hinged on your ability to pay exquisite attention to your surroundings. Being sensitive does not necessarily make you good at intimacy, however. Intimacy means being able to be fully present with yourself and another at the same time. It does not mean abandoning yourself to gain another's approval or giving up what you care about as you support your partner in his or her interests. Intimacy means being willing to experience conflict, and to use conflict to deepen your intimacy. It means risking trust with another at deeper and deeper levels over time. That part never really gets comfortable. The payoff is grand, but there is no guarantee of comfort. Intimacy after childhood sexual abuse means a commitment to grow and learn; in fact, it requires the same practices and tools as those you are learning in sexual healing: embodiment, consent, openness to emotions, healing through triggers, trust, and self-forgiveness. I encourage survivors to find a coach, therapist, or friend who is good at relationships and to learn from that person. Keep educating yourself.

> How to Build Intimacy
>
> Practice being with yourself and with another at the same time.
>
>>
>
>
> Treat conflict as something that can build intimacy.
>
>
>
>
> Communicate openly and truthfully.
>
>
>
>
> Develop both clear boundaries and emotional flexibility.
>
>
>
>
> Practice self-dignity and grant your partner self-dignity, too.
>
>
>
>
> Affirm and acknowledge yourself and your partner regularly.
>
>
>
>
> Build trust.
>
>
>
>
> Allow support, pleasure, and conflict—all in the same relationship!
>
>
>
>
> Practice embodiment, emotional sourcing, and boundary exercises.
>
>
>
>
> Find a friend or coach to help you learn about intimacy.


Input: Write a section titled "Self-Forgiveness" that explores the importance of self-forgiveness in the healing process of survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Begin with a quote from a survivor discussing the impact of self-forgiveness on their healing journey. Address the common misconception that forgiving the perpetrator is the final step in healing, and emphasize that feeling love, warmth, and compassion for oneself is paramount. Share stories and examples from survivors, such as Janet and Naomi, to illustrate the internalization of blame and the child's perspective on the abuse. Discuss the social system's role in perpetuating the belief that sexual abuse is the fault of the child, and explore the concept of survivor's guilt. Explain the connection between self-forgiveness and allowing oneself to experience pleasure, sexual expression, and intimacy. Finally, discuss how sexual abuse may have been the survivor's only source of affection or touch and the impact of this on their healing process.

Response:
#  Self-Forgiveness

> > Forgiving myself and being forgiven by a community of people who love me was
>  the most moving thing that I have experienced in my healing process. I feel like
>  I have permission to live now. It is all right that I made it out alive; in fact, it
>  is wonderful that I did!
>
>
> Carla

Many folks think forgiving the perpetrator is the final step in healing from childhood sexual abuse. You may have been told this is the goal of your healing process. Forgiving the perpetrator may naturally arise as a by-product of your own healing, but in my experience it is not necessarily the goal. If you do feel forgiveness, warmth, and compassion for your perpetrator, welcome that as a piece of your own heart thawing. But keep in mind that your healing lies in feeling at least that much love, warmth, and compassion for yourself.

> > When I remembered, the first thing I said was, "My dad is lucky he has such a forgiving daughter. I forgive him. I am done with that." That was my way of repressing the pain. I then spent the next two years in excruciating pain, wondering what was wrong with me, why I was so fucked up and miserable.
>
> Janet

Forgiving yourself is paramount. Survivors internalize the blame for sexual abuse. This makes sense when viewed in the context of children's developmental process. Children have not fully differentiated themselves from other people and so attempt to make sense of the world by relating outside events to their own behavior. To small children, the whole world is about them. Kids think they caused their parents' divorce because they spilled their milk or wouldn't go to bed on time. This is the same thinking that goes into believing that sexual abuse was in some way your fault.

> > I spent most of my childhood trying to figure out what I could do differently to make the abuse stop. I was very, very good, trying to control all my behaviors, trying to do whatever my parents wanted. I figured if I could be perfect then he'd have no reason to hurt me anymore. The rules kept changing, though.
>
> Naomi

The social system perpetuates the view that sexual abuse is the fault of the child. Too often, adults demand of children, "What did you do to make him do that?" or "Are you sure that happened?" Much like adult rape victims who face a criminal justice system that questions the length of their skirts instead of protecting women from sexual violence, children who report sexual abuse are often met with blame and disbelief.

Many women who were abused as children also feel survivor's guilt. Why was I the one to survive? Why did I make it out when my younger brother didn't? Why am I healing when my big sister is institutionalized? Why do I deserve to be okay? This can be particularly intense for survivors of multiple victim abuse and ritual abuse. Any abuse setting in which other victims either literally or figuratively didn't make it can produce tremendous guilt for the surviving party.

> > I survived the ritual abuse and others didn't. I have carried tremendous guilt for that. I wondered, Why me? Why am I the one who made it out?
>
> Carol

Self-forgiveness is directly tied to how much pleasure, sexual expression, and intimacy you will allow yourself in your life. If you are punishing yourself for being "bad" or "dirty," why would you allow yourself to delight in sexual expression? Self-forgiveness is the doorway through which you move toward what you want in your life.

Sexual abuse may have been your only source of affection or touch. We all need physical contact with other humans as much as we need water, food, and air. In the case of children who receive no other physical affection, any touch is a relief.

> > I sometimes hate myself for having sought out his touch. I was starving. I figured if this is the way I can get love and affection, I'll take it.
>
> Jo


Input:
 Write a section titled "Let Yourself off the Hook" that guides survivors of childhood sexual abuse through the process of self-forgiveness. Begin by encouraging readers to explore why they believe they are at fault, without contradicting or trying to prove these beliefs wrong. Provide examples of beliefs held by survivors, such as feeling that the abuse was their fault because they were "sexy" at a young age or because they like certain sexual activities today. Encourage readers to consult trusted friends or therapists for a reality check on their self-blame.

Next, explain that self-forgiveness is a granted, not earned, process. Emphasize that one can believe they are to blame and still forgive themselves. Provide examples of self-forgiveness statements, such as "I may have liked the attention, but I forgive myself for that."

Then, instruct readers to find a trusted friend or therapist to witness their self-forgiveness process. Ask them to imagine how it would feel to have another person witness their unforgivable aspects and to consider whether this person would hold them responsible or forgive them.

Finally, provide a prompt for readers to make a list of all the ways they are different from their abusers. This list can help them see their choices more clearly and distinguish themselves from those who harmed them. Include an example from a survivor who feels responsible for choosing how she was molested and another example from a survivor who molested a child and is struggling with self-forgiveness.

Response:
##  Let Yourself off the Hook

You can take steps to forgive yourself. First, explore why you think you are at fault. Become familiar with these beliefs. You don't have to contradict them or prove to yourself that they aren't true. Just look at what you truly believe about the abuse. One survivor wrote, "I think that the abuse is my fault because I was sexy even at six years old." Do you blame yourself because you didn't fight back? Because you minimized the abuse? Include it all. You are probably not alone in your reasons for thinking the abuse was your fault.

Many survivors use their sexual desires as justification for their self-blame. One survivor wrote: "I think that the abuse is my fault because I like anal sex today; that is one of the ways I was abused, so I must have liked it then." Another wrote, "I am into kinky sex. Maybe I am just as perverted as my perps." Explore this for yourself.

As you face what you believe is your fault, check in with people you trust. Do your close friends think the abuse was your fault because you liked getting attention? Or because you're doing better than your little sister? This reality check is essential in developing a reasonable set of expectations for the girl that you were. People will want to use arguments to convince you that the abuse was not your fault. The experience of self-blame is profoundly deep, however. You can understand intellectually you are not at fault, but that may not change how deeply you blame yourself.

> The sexual abuse was my fault because…
>
> Here's what some survivors in a workshop came up with:
>
>> • I was too smart.
>
>> • I wasn't smart enough.
>
>> • I had an orgasm.
>
>> • I like kinky sex.
>
>> • I asked for our "special time."
>
>> • I abused my little brother, so I am just as bad.
>
>> • He didn't really mean it; I am blowing it out of proportion.
>
>> • Women don't really sexually abuse kids.
>
>> • He was abused, too, so it doesn't count.
>
>> • I'm gay.
>
>> • I liked the attention.
>
>> • I didn't say "no."

The next step is to begin an active process of forgiving yourself. To do this, you don't have to believe the abuse was not your fault. Self-forgiveness is granted, not earned. You can believe you are to blame and forgive yourself. "It's my fault because I wasn't smart enough to figure out how to make it stop, and I am forgivable." "I asked my dad to touch me, and I can forgive myself for that." Look at your reasons for thinking the abuse was your fault. Point by point, practice forgiving yourself. Say aloud to yourself, "X may be true and I forgive myself. I am so sorry this happened to me." Write these phrases down and post them on your bathroom mirror. Grant yourself self-forgiveness.

The final step is to ask a trusted friend to witness you in this process. Ask your friend or therapist to listen as you list all of the aspects of your history that you feel are unforgivable. What is it like to feel another person witnessing you? Does this person hold you responsible? Does this person forgive you? Are you forgivable? I can assure you that everything that you have done to survive is forgivable, no matter how terrible it seems to you.

> I Am Different from My Perps Because…
>
> You are not your perpetrators, no matter what you enjoy sexually. Make a list of all the ways you are different from those who abused you. This list can assist you in seeing yourself and your choices more clearly. Start with "I choose to heal." Most likely, if your abuser had made that choice, you would not have been abused.

> > My brother would give me choices as to the ways that he would molest me. I
>  had to pick whether he would touch my vagina and put things in it or put his
>  penis in my mouth. He would end up doing whatever he wanted, but I felt like
>  I picked my own demise.
>
>
> Donna
>
>> The hardest thing I have had to face was the unforgivable act of molesting a
>  child that I baby-sat. I couldn't stop what I was doing. I felt so out of control.
>  I thought I was going to die facing this. How could I have done this when I
>  knew how horrible it was for me? I am beginning to have compassion for
>  myself. I'm wondering if I will try to find the girl to apologize. I don't know if
>  this will be helpful or not. What has helped me the most is talking to a few very
>  close people about what I did. They felt the pain with me, and helped me feel
>  compassion for myself and the trap I lived in.
>
>
> Danielle


Input:
 Write a section titled "Self-Trust and Compassion" that explains how survivors of childhood sexual abuse can rebuild trust in themselves and their decision-making abilities. Begin by emphasizing that self-trust can be rebuilt over time through consistent action on one's own behalf. Encourage readers to acknowledge any issues they have with self-care, sexual boundaries, or forgiving themselves, and to actively work on addressing these problems.

Next, discuss the challenge survivors face in developing life skills they may lack due to their abusive childhoods. Acknowledge that even though surviving to adulthood is a blessing, it also presents the responsibility of caring for oneself as an adult.

Then, explain the importance of self-compassion in the healing process. Encourage readers to give themselves credit for the survival skills they developed during their abuse, even if these skills are now self-destructive. Remind them that they are not deficient for not knowing how to do certain things, but rather, they were not taught these skills.

Provide examples of problem areas survivors might face, such as difficulty making friends, maintaining sexual relationships, finding fulfilling employment, or experiencing orgasms. Encourage readers to identify their own problem areas and to seek out resources, such as books, friends, workshops, or teachers, to help them learn the skills they need.

End the section with a quote from a survivor who is learning to surrender to their own goodness and trustworthiness.

Response:
#  Self-Trust and Compassion

How can you learn to trust yourself, your decisions, and your sexual energy? You can rebuild trust with yourself by acting on your own behalf over time. If you need to forgive yourself for not taking care of yourself, do so by learning how to take care of yourself now. If you do not trust yourself to have sexual boundaries, say so. Acknowledge that this is a problem and learn how to develop sexual boundaries that serve you. Self-trust involves the intention to do right by yourself, consistent action to back that up, and the capacity to know how to take that action.

A childhood of sexual abuse does not prepare you well for life. You may find yourself lacking basic skills to take good care of yourself. That you survived to adulthood is both a blessing and a challenge. You may feel like a little girl, but as an adult you are now responsible for your own well-being. Survivors are very creative people when it comes to staying alive in spite of trauma. Now is the time to channel this creativity into learning to live well.

This is where compassion for yourself comes in. Even if all your survival skills now prove self-destructive—skills like denying your desires, checking out during sex, or avoiding intimacy—give yourself credit for developing these skills when you needed them. And give yourself a break for not knowing what you don't know. What are the problem areas in your life? What things can't you manage? You may not know how to make friends, maintain sexual relationships, find employment that nurtures your creativity, or have an orgasm. What skills do you need to learn? Whom can you learn from? How about a book, a friend, a workshop, or a teacher? You are not deficient for not knowing how to do even the "simplest" things. If you do not know how, it is because you were not taught. You can learn how to take care of yourself and to build the life you want.

> > It is about learning how to surrender again, this time to my own goodness and trustworthiness
>
> Aurora


Input:
 Write a section titled "Do I Deserve Pleasure?" that addresses the common belief among survivors of childhood sexual abuse that they must suffer to make up for what happened to them. Begin by sharing a quote from a survivor named Cheryl, who is learning to allow herself to experience pleasure and spend less time suffering.

Next, explain that many survivors feel they need to suffer due to feelings of guilt, shame, or a belief that they are bad, dirty, or wrong. Discuss the idea that survivors may also feel they would be betraying others who are suffering if they experience pleasure.

Then, emphasize that survivors deserve pleasure and always did deserve pleasure, even though their experiences may not have prepared them for this belief. Remind readers that they deserve a life in which their well-being is respected, simply because they are alive.

Encourage readers to wish more pleasure for themselves and to include themselves in their well-wishing for others.

Response:
#  Do I Deserve Pleasure?

> > The more I forgive myself, the more pleasure I allow myself… Now I give myself permission to have in my life those things that bring me pleasure. I am spending less time "making up" for being abused by suffering.
>
> Cheryl

Many survivors feel that they should pay for what happened to them as children. You may believe that you need to suffer to make up for being bad, dirty, or wrong. You may think that because others are suffering you should as well, that you would betray those who are in pain by having pleasure. Chances are that nothing in your life prepared you for pleasure or the belief that you deserve it. When you feel pleasure, you may feel guilty or ashamed.

You deserve and always did deserve pleasure. You deserve and always did deserve a life in which your well-being is respected. You are deserving just because you are alive. Do you wish more pleasure for others? Include yourself in this well-wishing.


Input:
  Write a section titled "Pleasure" that discusses the unfamiliarity many survivors of childhood sexual abuse have with both emotional and sexual pleasure. Emphasize that pleasure can be scary, strange, and therefore suspect, and that many survivors have spent their lives dealing with profound pain, which can feel more familiar and "safe" than pleasure.

Provide an analogy using a sea sponge to illustrate the process of reclaiming pleasure. Explain that, like a dried-out sponge that initially repels water, survivors may initially resist pleasure. As the sponge slowly begins to let water in, it becomes supple and pliable again, able to easily let water in and squeeze it out. Similarly, survivors of abuse must practice taking in pleasure, little by little, over and over again.

Emphasize that learning to embody pleasure in one's life may be terrifying, but that survivors can go at their own pace. Encourage readers to think about what brings them physical and emotional joy, and to consider ways to incorporate more of what is pleasurable to them into their lives. Ask readers what they can do to allow pleasure into their bodies and emotional repertoires.

Response:
##  Pleasure

Many survivors are unfamiliar with both emotional and sexual pleasure. Pleasure can be scary and strange, and therefore suspect. Many survivors have spent their entire lives dealing with profound pain. Pain, lack, and betrayal are familiar and therefore "safe." When in your history was it safe to feel pleasure? When could you relax enough to feel at ease in your body?

Reclaiming pleasure is like letting water back into a sea sponge that has been dried for years and is hard and crusty. The sponge initially repels the water and then very slowly begins to let it in. First, a little water seeps in around the edges, and then slowly the water reaches deeper into the sponge. Eventually, with a steady supply of water, the sponge becomes supple and pliable again, able to easily let water in and squeeze it out.

Of course, if you leave the sponge out to dry, it will harden again. To keep it supple, you must regularly submerge that sponge in water. Similarly, if you are denied pleasure, you will learn to resist pleasure. To learn how to embody pleasure in your life, you'll have to practice taking in pleasure, little by little, over and over again. This may be terrifying. Don't worry; you can go at your own pace.

What brings you pleasure? What give you physical joy? Emotional joy? What can you do to incorporate more of what is pleasurable to you into your life? What can you do that will allow pleasure into your body? Into your emotional repertoire?


Input:
 Write a section titled "Self-Permission" that discusses the need for survivors of childhood sexual abuse to give themselves official and overt permission to experience pleasure, intimacy, sexual expression, and satisfaction. Encourage readers to envision what their sex life might be like if they allowed themselves to have it all and did not settle for anything less than everything they want.

Include a personal testimony from a survivor named Anna, who grants herself full permission to express her sexuality and live her life to her own standards. Follow this with a paragraph granting the reader permission to fully express their sexuality, experience pleasure, and have their boundaries, needs, and desires.

Emphasize the importance of personal and community support in this stage of the process. Encourage readers to find someone who is excited about their journey towards a fully expressed sexuality, and who can remind them of their goals when things get tough.

Ask readers what keeps them from granting themselves permission to have the sexuality and sexual expression they want on their own terms. Include a personal testimony from a survivor named Roslyn, who does not feel safe enough to grant herself permission to express herself sexually.

Discuss how some survivors do not feel safe enough to give themselves permission to express themselves sexually, and that exploring the reasons for this can be helpful. Encourage readers to explore all aspects of their lives in which they do not give themselves permission to be fully themselves.

End the section with a "Sexual Expression Permission Slip" exercise, in which you instruct readers to write themselves a permission slip to have the sex life they want. Include a sample permission slip with specific expressions, acts, and feelings that readers might want to give themselves explicit permission for. Encourage readers to sign the permission slip lovingly, as a symbol of their commitment to their own healing and growth.

Response:
#  Self-Permission

You may need to officially and overtly give yourself permission to experience pleasure, intimacy, sexual expression, and satisfaction. What would your sex life be like if you gave yourself permission to have it all? To not settle for anything less than everything you want?

> > I give myself permission, because really it's not up to anyone else. My body, my life, and my sex are mine and no one else's. This is the only life I have; I'm going to live it fully to my own standards.
>
> Anna

From this moment forward you have permission to fully express your sexuality. You are granted permission to experience pleasure, delight, intensity—whatever you want. You have full permission to have your boundaries, needs, and desires. How's that? Granting yourself permission to be fully expressed sexually is a courageous act. Go for it.

Personal and community support are as important as ever in this stage of the process. Find at least one other person who is as excited as you about you having a fully expressed sexuality. When things get tough, ask your friend to remind you just why you want a sex life, anyway.

What keeps you from granting yourself permission to have the sexuality and sexual expression you want, on your own terms? Do you feel you need someone else's permission? Who might that be? Your parents? God?

> > Whom do I need permission from to be fully expressed sexually? I'm not sure.
>  Maybe God? Somehow I am "bad" or "damaged" still, so I am not allowed to
>  fully be my big, bright self.
>
>
> Roslyn

Some survivors do not feel safe enough to give themselves permission to express themselves sexually. When you were being abused, it was not safe to reveal yourself or to express your sexuality in your own way.

Explore all the nooks and crannies of your life in which you don't give yourself permission to fully be yourself. How does it serve you to deny aspects of yourself? Are you keeping yourself hidden, punished, or safe? What would it feel like to be both safe and fully expressed sexually?

> > For me it is about safety. It has never been safe to come out all the way. I sneak around, letting a little of me come out here, letting a different part of me out there…Now the people in my life would probably rather I be my whole self.
>
> Cindy

You now have the power to choose sexual partners and friends who respect you, support your growth, and delight in your successes. They may even want to join you in your adventure by doing some sexual healing of their own!

> Sexual Expression Permission Slip
>
> Write yourself a permission slip to have the sex life you want. Here is a sample. Of course, you can create your own permission slip, using language that is meaningful for you. If you need permission from others, or from God, write yourself a permission slip from them. List all the specific expressions, acts, and feelings you want to receive explicit permission for. I, _________________ , give myself complete permission to be fully expressed sexually on my own terms. This includes expressing myself sexually in whatever ways, wherever, whenever, and with whomever I choose from this day forward.
>
>>
>
>
> Specifically, I give myself full permission
>
>> • to have the boundaries that I want and need sexually.
>
>> • to acknowledge all of my feelings while I am being sexual, and to take care of them in whatever way best serves me in the given situation.
>
>> • to laugh during sex.
>
>> • to masturbate.
>
>> • to be sexually brazen or shy.
>
>> • to be in my body.
>
>> • to say "yes," "maybe," or "no" to sex.
>
>> • to do that one thing I've never told anyone that I've always wanted to do sexually, like…
>
> You, ___________, are granted full permission to express yourself sexually on your own terms. You have my blessings.
>
>
>
>
> Enjoy!
>
>
>
>
> Lovingly, (your signature)


Input:
 Write a section titled "Sex Guide Exercises" that provides survivors of childhood sexual abuse with a series of exercises designed to help them work through their feelings of guilt, increase their tolerance for intimacy, and envision a healthier sex life.

Include an exercise that instructs the reader to make a list of all the things related to the abuse that they believe are their fault. Encourage the reader to read the list to themselves every day for a week, a month, or a year, and to consider what they would say to a little girl who told them these things about herself.

Include another exercise that instructs the reader to read the same list to their therapist, a friend, or their partner. Encourage the reader to ask that person to confirm that they are forgiven and to tell them whatever they need to hear to feel supported in forgiving themselves.

Add a third exercise that instructs the reader to write about what their sex life would be like if they were completely forgiven.

Provide an additional exercise that can help the reader increase their tolerance for intimacy with a partner. This exercise should instruct the reader to sit facing their partner and breathe deeply while looking into their partner's face and eyes. Encourage the reader to notice what happens in their body, and to share their observations with their partner after three minutes. Suggest that the reader and their partner repeat the exercise for another three minutes, discussing their experience afterwards. If the reader is comfortable, suggest that they try the exercise while nude.

Response:
#  Sex Guide Exercises

> 1\. Make a list of all of the things related to the abuse that you believe are your fault. Then read the list to yourself. Look at it. Do this every day for a week, a month, or a year. What would you say to a little girl who told you these things about herself? What would you feel for her?

> 2\. Read that same list to your therapist, a friend, or your partner. Let that person witness you and confirm that you are forgiven. Ask that person to tell you whatever you need to hear to feel supported in forgiving yourself.

> 3\. Write about what your sex life would be like if you were completely forgiven.

> 4\. The following exercise can help you increase your tolerance for intimacy with a partner:
>
>> a. Sit in a comfortable position, facing your partner. Sit upright so that you are alert. Breathe down into your belly, letting the air fill your belly and chest. Look into your partner's face and eyes. Continue to breathe. Notice what happens in your body. Sit in your own experience while being connected with your partner. Try not to be in your partner's experience, attempting to figure out what he or she is feeling. Be in your body.
>
>> b. After three minutes, each of you can tell the other what you notice in your body. What sensations are there? Were you able to stay present? Where did you float off to? And when?
>
>> c. Then gaze at each other for another three minutes. What is different now? What do you notice?
>
>> d. Talk about the experience.
>
>> e. If you want to up the ante, try doing this exercise while nude.


Input: Write a new chapter titled "Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse" that focuses on providing guidance and support to partners of survivors. The chapter should offer advice on how partners can best support their loved ones in their healing process, as well as how to take care of their own emotional needs. Topics to cover may include communication, trust, patience, empathy, and self-care. Encourage partners to seek out their own support network, such as therapists or support groups, to help them navigate this difficult journey.

Response:
chapter seventeen

Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse


Input:
   Write a section titled "It's Not Your Fault" for the chapter "Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse". This section should address the common misconception among partners that they are responsible for the emotional pain their lover experiences during the healing process. Explain that the feelings associated with the trauma were already present and that triggers can be unavoidable.

Emphasize that the pain of recovery is essential to healing and that suppressing one's own emotions and communications to avoid triggering the survivor is not a healthy solution. Encourage partners to treat their lovers with care, dignity, and empowerment, reminding them that they can support their lover but cannot fix them or make the effects of the abuse go away.

End the section by explaining the importance of being a witness to the survivor's story and offering a safe and supportive space for them to share their experiences.

Response:
#  It's Not Your Fault

One of the most difficult things for partners is remembering that your lover's pain is not your fault. When you are in it for the long haul with someone healing from childhood sexual abuse, her pain will come out around you and at you. You can count on it. When your lover gets upset during sex, you may feel tempted to take responsibility. You may think you triggered her, and that she wouldn't be in pain if you hadn't said X or if you hadn't done Y. Not true. Even if something you said or did triggered her, the feelings that emerged were there, waiting to come out. They were her feelings.

Understandably, you don't want your lover to be in emotional pain. The pain of recovery is essential to healing, though. You can't heal from childhood sexual abuse without feeling the emotions associated with the trauma.

As a partner of a survivor, be aware of the inclination to suppress your own emotions and communications to avoid triggering her. Although editing your thoughts, feelings, desires, and speech may help her sidestep short-term pain, it is a setup for both of you. What you do or say may, in fact, trigger her, but she can handle it. Even in her moments of greatest emotional turmoil, don't overlook her courage and empowerment. Treat her with care and with dignity. Avoiding triggers is not any healthier for you than it is for her!

You can support your lover, but you can't fix her or make the effects of the abuse go away. Over and over again, I have heard survivors say that what they want most is a witness, someone who is willing and able to sit with them in their story. If you can offer this, you are giving your partner a priceless gift.


Input:
 Write a section titled "No Saviors, No Patients" for the chapter "Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse". This section should address the common tendency for partners to see themselves as saviors and their lovers as patients in need of rescue. Explain that these roles are ultimately disempowering for both parties and that the lover is not broken or hurt, but rather a courageous individual engaging in the healing process.

Encourage the reader to educate themselves about childhood sexual abuse, its patterns, experiences of survivors, and the recovery process through books like "The Courage to Heal" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis and "Trauma and Recovery" by Judith Lewis Herman. Explain that being informed makes it easier to avoid pitfalls such as savior/patient roles.

Emphasize the importance of viewing each other as whole human beings and practice expressing appreciation and acknowledging the wholeness, vulnerability, and innate sense of power or wisdom in each other. Remind the reader that there is no need for saviors or patients in this healing journey and to give themselves credit for their commitment and perseverance.

Response:
#  No Saviors, No Patients

You are not a savior, and your lover is not a patient. Your lover is not broken or hurt, and it is not your job to rescue her. When partners get stuck in savior/patient roles, they are both ultimately disempowered. The truth is, you are both incredibly courageous to be engaging in the healing of abuse. So many survivors and partners stay in denial about it instead. Acknowledge yourselves and each other for this.

It will help you to learn something about childhood sexual abuse. The patterns of abuse, experiences of survivors, and recovery process are fairly well mapped out in books like The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis and Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman. It's much easier to avoid pitfalls such as savior/patient roles when you know what's going on.

Practice viewing each other as whole human beings. Tell each other regularly what you appreciate about the other. Talk about the wholeness, vulnerability, and innate sense of power or wisdom you see in each other. Give yourself lots of kudos for hanging in there. No patients or saviors are needed here.


Input:
  Write a section titled "Take Care of Yourself" for the chapter "Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse". This section should emphasize the importance of partners attending to their own needs and avoiding the common pitfall of giving to the point of depletion.

Explain that while incest and childhood sexual abuse are horrific and may seem like an ongoing crisis, if the survivor is no longer in imminent danger, the emergency phase has ended. Healing takes time and may last for years or even be a lifelong process, but the survivor's abuse issues will gradually take up less space in their life. Recovery can be both challenging and rewarding, and childhood sexual abuse and its implications will be a part of the relationship if the partner is involved with a survivor.

Encourage the reader to seek support for themselves, whether from friends, a counselor, or books like "Allies in Healing" by Laura Davis. Make sure any support system is knowledgeable about the process of healing from childhood sexual abuse.

Finally, remind the reader to continue participating in activities that bring joy and meaning to their life. Whether it's pursuing a hobby, creating art, playing sports, or spending time with friends, engaging in such activities will provide balance and renewal and help bring happiness to their relationship.

Response:
#  Take Care of Yourself

As a partner of a survivor, you need to be very attentive to your own needs. An often-made mistake for partners of survivors is giving to the point of depletion because the situation seems to call for it. Learning to recognize, negotiate, and care for your needs will serve (and potentially save) your relationship.

Incest and childhood sexual abuse is horrible, and in many ways it is a personal and social crisis. Yet if the survivor is out of immediate danger, the emergency is over. The healing process takes time. From the initial "crisis stage," when she begins to face the effects of the abuse, you can count on at least two years of focused healing before things stabilize. Recovery from childhood sexual abuse takes a long time (some would say it is a lifelong process), but over time her abuse issues will take up less and less space in her life. If you are involved with a survivor, childhood sexual abuse and its implications will be a part of your relationship. This path can be both arduous and deeply beautiful.

Consider getting support for yourself as well. You can turn to friends or a counselor—just make sure they are educated about the process of healing from childhood sexual abuse. Books like Allies in Healing by Laura Davis can also help.

Continue to do the things that you enjoy. Whether you pursue a hobby, create art, play sports, or hang out with your friends, make time for the things that give your life meaning. This will be a place of balance and renewal for you, and help bring joy to your relationship.


Input:
 Write a section titled "Expand Your Sexual Repertoire" for the chapter "Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse". Explain that dealing with aspects of a survivor's healing during sex can be challenging, but it can also be a powerful way to build intimacy and trust. Encourage the reader to see sexual healing as an opportunity for personal growth and development.

Point out that society is sex-negative, and that everyone could benefit from sexual healing and learning more about sex. Ask the reader to consider how they would like to grow sexually and develop their capacity for intimacy.

Warn the reader not to build a sex life around triggers. Both partners will need to learn to tolerate a range of emotions, including pain, as part of the healing process. Emphasize that fear and pain should be viewed as part of the healing, not something to be avoided. Encourage the reader to express their full sexuality, even if it is not currently possible. Suggest reading chapter 11 on triggers with their partner and designing a trigger plan for their sex life.

Address the possibility that partners may have different sexual needs and desires, and that the survivor may not always be the one who does not want to have sex. Offer guidance on how to negotiate breaks from sex and commit to healing work during that time.

Discuss the fact that the survivor's sexuality will evolve as they heal, and that the reader may feel like they have a new partner. Encourage the reader to be patient, creative, and open to learning together.

Finally, recommend using the "Yes," "No," "Maybe" exercise from chapter 2 to come up with a repertoire of sensual and sexual expressions that are interesting to both partners. Suggest exploring likes, dislikes, and possible new explorations, and expanding the range of what is considered pleasurable and erotic. Encourage the reader to move away from the idea that their previous sexual experiences are the only ones that count.

Response:
#  Expand Your Sexual Repertoire

Aspects of your lover's healing naturally will emerge in sex. While this can be trying, it can also be a powerful way to build intimacy. By sharing your deep, shadow places you can build incredible trust. Sexual healing can be a great opportunity for you to grow and develop sexually, too.

We live in a sex-negative culture. We all could benefit from some sexual healing. At the very least, we all could learn more about sex. In what ways would you like to grow sexually? How would you like to develop your capacity for intimacy?

Although you may be tempted, don't build a sex life around triggers. Both you and your survivor partner will need to learn to tolerate a full range of emotions, including the pain that is a part of this recovery. Think of the fear and pain as healing, not as something to be avoided. Keep coming back to expressing your full sexuality. This may not be possible at the moment, but it is the ultimate intention of recovery. Read chapter 11 on triggers with your partner, and design a trigger plan for your sex life.

You and your partner may have different sexual needs and desires. Contrary to what you might expect, it is not always the case that the survivor doesn't want to have sex. You may want a break from sex. If one of you does not want to be sexual, negotiate this clearly. Do you want to take a three-week break? A three-month break? What types of healing work can you commit to in the meantime? When will you reassess your agreement?

As your lover heals, she will change. Her sexuality will evolve. You may feel as if you have a new sexual partner on your hands. Give yourself time to adjust. Be creative. How can you invent sexual experiences that work for both of you? How can you both use this as a time to grow sexually? How can you learn together?

Use the "Yes," "No," "Maybe" exercise in chapter 2 to come up with a repertoire of sensual and sexual expressions that are interesting to both of you. Explore your lists of likes, dislikes, and possible new explorations. Expand your range of what you consider pleasurable and erotic. Get away from the idea that the way you used to have sex is the only way that counts.


Input:
 Write a section titled "You Get to Change, Too" for the chapter "Partnering with Survivors of Sexual Abuse". Emphasize that when a partner is healing sexually, the other partner also undergoes changes. Explain that the partner inherits their lover's history and recovery process, and may question their basic beliefs about people and societies due to a close-up look at the harm humans can inflict on each other.

Describe the stages partners may go through, such as denial, shock, feeling, and integrating the trauma. It is normal for partners to feel angry at those who harmed their loved one and to grieve the losses they have suffered due to the abuse.

Point out that sharing this time with a lover can have an uncanny way of exposing one's own ghosts. The reader may find themselves rehashing old wounds or confronting issues they thought they had successfully avoided. Encourage the reader and their partner to learn together and consider what it would be like for both to be fully embodied, emotionally flexible, and sexually expressed.

Response:
#  You Get to Change, Too

When your partner is healing sexually, you change, too. In a way, you inherit her history and her recovery process. You'll get a close-up look at what human beings can do to each other. This may call into question your basic beliefs about people and societies. How could this happen? Why is this still happening? What can I do? Partners go through their own stages of denial, shock, feeling, and integrating the trauma. It is normal to get angry at those who harmed your partner and to grieve the losses she has suffered as a result of the abuse.

Sharing this time with your lover can have an uncanny way of exposing your own ghosts. You may find yourself rehashing old wounds or coming up against issues you thought you had successfully avoided. Your lover and you can learn much together. What would it be like for both of you to be fully embodied, emotionally flexible, and sexually expressed?


Input:
 Write a section titled "Survivors as Partners" for the chapter "Navigating Relationships After Sexual Abuse". Discuss the unique benefits and challenges of being in a relationship with another survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Detail the challenges, which include setting appropriate boundaries and building self-referential lives. Explain that while it's beneficial to be understood, the lines between each person's experiences can become blurred. Encourage the reader to focus on their own healing and let their partner take full responsibility for theirs, without pushing their partner to take the same path to healing.

Highlight the benefits, such as a deep understanding between partners, with less need for explanation. Point out that both partners will be familiar with the intricacies of abuse and healing, and can support each other in committing to recovery. Encourage the reader to share the healing process with their partner in various ways.

Response:
#  Survivors as Partners

You may both be survivors of childhood sexual abuse. As you might suspect, there are unique benefits and challenges to this.

The challenges come in having appropriate boundaries and building self-referential lives. While it's great to be understood, the lines between whose stuff is whose can get blurry. The best bet is to focus on and take full responsibility for your own healing. Let your partner take full responsibility for his or hers. Do not push your partner to take your path to healing. Your road is yours only.

The benefit is, of course, a great understanding. There is so much you do not have to explain. You'll both be familiar with the intricacies of abuse and healing. You can support each other in committing to each other's recovery, and you can share the process in many ways.


Input:
  Create a section titled "Sex Guide Exercises" for the chapter "Navigating Relationships After Sexual Abuse". Include the following exercises:

1. For those who feel responsible for their lover's triggers and emotions, write an exercise that encourages the reader to differentiate between their own behaviors and intentions and those of the people who harmed their partner. Have the reader ask themselves if their partner's feelings are about them or about the abusers.

2. Suggest an exercise where the reader sits down with their partner to discuss their commitment to sexual healing and to each other. Have them explore why they want to heal sexually, why they want to go through this process together, what they stand to gain, and how this process might change them for the better. Ask them to consider what parts of themselves or their relationship they might need to leave behind.

3. Write an exercise where the reader practices appreciating their partner. Have the reader and their partner sit facing each other, take turns expressing what they love and cherish about the other for three minutes. Encourage the listener to relax and let the appreciation sink in as a sign of respect.

4. Recommend an exercise where the reader makes a pleasure date with their partner. Encourage the reader to take a break from emotional issues and healing, and to focus on having fun together. Suggest simple activities like taking a walk, going to a movie, or working in the garden. Advise the reader to make this a regular practice throughout the sexual healing process.

Response:
#  Sex Guide Exercises

> 1\. If you are inclined to feel responsible for your lover's triggers and emotions, take a moment now to differentiate between your behaviors and intentions and those of the people who harmed her. Are her feelings about you or them?

> 2\. Sit down with your partner and talk about your commitment to sexual healing and to each other. Why heal sexually, anyway? Why go through this together? What do we have to gain? How might this process change us for the better? What parts of ourselves or our relationship might we have to leave behind?

> 3\. Take a few minutes each week to practice appreciating your partner. Sit comfortably, facing your partner. Settle into your body. Practice your emotional sourcing. Find that place in you that makes you feel grounded and at peace. For three minutes, tell your partner what you love and cherish about her. What are her virtues? When the three minutes are up, you can switch, and your partner can tell you what she loves and cherishes about you. As you listen to her appreciation, relax. Letting her appreciation really sink in shows your partner respect.

> 4\. Make a pleasure date with your partner. Take a break from emotional issues and healing, and focus on having fun. You could do something together as simple as taking a walk, going to a movie, or working in the garden. Settle into being together and enjoying time with each other. Keep this as a regular practice throughout the sexual healing process.


Input:
 Create a chapter titled "Your Powerful Sexual Self: Who Are You Becoming?" for the book "The Survivor's Guide to Sex". Include the following points:

1. Emphasize that visions of the reader's future sexual identity will change and grow over time as they progress in healing.

2. Ask the reader what their empowered sexual self looks, sounds, and feels like, and what a compelling sex life would look like to them.

3. Encourage the reader to develop interim goals for themselves, such as staying present during masturbation or sex, learning how they dissociate during sex, and catching themselves sooner.

4. Remind the reader to acknowledge and celebrate their successes along the way.

5. Advise the reader to let themselves be a novice and to practice freely, without fear of making mistakes.

6. Suggest that the reader creates three visions of who they want to become sexually. Remind the reader that these visions will change over time as they grow.

7. Provide examples of visions from workshop participants, such as becoming an embodied, powerful, or intimate sexual partner.

8. Encourage the reader to consider questions such as whether they are embodied in their visions, how they embody their sexuality, how they feel about their body, who their partner(s) are, if there is a spiritual component to their sexuality, what type of intensity they like sexually, and what kind of sex they like.

9. Advise the reader to create an external representation of their vision, using a journal, a collage, or another creative medium, and to display it where they can see it regularly.

10. Encourage the reader to consider the path their future self took to become who they are, and to keep this vision in their thoughts.

Response:
chapter eighteen

Your Powerful Sexual Self: Who Are You Becoming?

Visions of where we are going are always out in front of us. As we attain one goal, a new one stretches ahead to draw us onward. As you progress in healing, your ideas about your new sexuality will change. A new dream may emerge. Or you may realize midstream that what you thought you wanted isn't really what you want anymore. Your vision will change and grow over time.

What will your empowered sexual self look, sound, and feel like?

You may take for granted that sex is a normal and healthy part of being human. You could be embodied and at choice sexually, knowing and practicing healthful boundaries. You may be able to communicate your desires and fantasies to your partners. Ideally, you will practice safer sex; you may even practice sacred sex. You could be self-referential in your sexuality, while honoring your connections with others. You may become comfortable with the contradictory nature of sex and come to accept your own sexual evolution—all of it, both the pleasure and the pain. It is up to you. What would a compelling sex life look like to you? Who do you want to become sexually?

Along the way, develop some interim goals for yourself. Maybe your dream is to become fully embodied sexually. You may have just begun to feel your body. An interim goal might be staying present while masturbating or staying present in one part of your body while you are having sex with a partner. You can set the goal of learning how you dissociate during sex and catching yourself sooner. Build lots of acknowledgment and successes into your journey.

How far in the future do you see yourself reaching your goals? How much of your sexuality resembles your vision already? What are the immediate next steps on the road to your vision? What can you do today? Tomorrow? Next week?

Let yourself be a novice. You are an apprentice, a trainee on your way to becoming the woman of your vision. Learning anything new takes practice. You'll need lots of freedom to make mistakes.

In developing a vision for your sexual healing, remember that yours will be a dynamic vision. It will change over time as you grow. You do not need rigid goals or trials that you can fail. You need a vision of your empowered sexual self that will serve as a source of encouragement, a reminder of your desires and your ability to grow and expand.

In my sexual healing workshops, I ask participants to create three visions of who they want to become sexually. If you had three full lives to live, and each could express a different sexual self, what would those sexualities be? Imagining three lives, rather than one, helps to get around the self-censors that tell us who we are "allowed" to become sexually—as well as the little voice that tells us our dreams are impossible. Creating three visions can also help you notice patterns in your desires. You may find that there is one form of sexual expression that comes up repeatedly. This is a strong desire, one worth paying attention to.

> Your Powerful Sexual Self
>
> Following is a sampling of visions from workshop participants:
>
>>
>
>
> I am my sexuality and it is me. It isn't something split off from me any longer. There is not a lot of difference between my sexual energy and my life energy. This doesn't mean everything is sexualized, rather, everything is erotic and alive with a kind of vitality. My integrated sensual and sexual energy feeds my whole life. Sometimes I also want a break from sex. I don't want to share that energy with others. I want to pull it into myself, and sit quietly with it. It feels very peaceful.
>
>
>
>
> I want to become an S/M top. I am intrigued and excited. The woman I want to become is powerful in her sexuality and awake. She dreams with other people about desire and pushing the edge, and then makes those dreams a reality. She is gentle in a very deep way. Not careful—bold. She reveals herself deeply and is willing to be vulnerable and naked in her desires. She is not afraid to go into the reaches of sex and sexuality. She is very clear with boundaries and has intimacy and a lot of play in her life. She is sexy, too.
>
>
>
>
> I envision a life with a committed sexual partner, a woman. We share deeply and use sex as a way to grow. I will be scared sometimes about intimacy and how deep I can go, but I will not retreat. I'll use intimacy as a place to heal. I will learn about loss, joy, grief, birth, death, and change in sex and intimacy. I don't know how to explain it that well, but it's like taking the risk over and over again to be close with myself and close with her. Sometimes it will be easy and sometimes it will be hard, but I'll show up. This is the sexuality I want.

Be creative and outrageous. Once you have created your three visions, consider the following questions: In your visions of yourself, are you embodied? How do you embody your sexuality? How do you feel about your body? Who are your partner(s)? Is there a spiritual component to your sexuality? If so, what is it? What type of intensity do you like sexually? What kind of sex do you like? What are your powers and virtues? Does your sex life feed energy into other parts of your life?

You can write about your new sexual self in a journal or create a collage or other art piece to depict it. The more creativity you bring to this exercise, the better. Whatever medium you choose, create an external representation of your vision so that it can exist outside of your own thoughts. Display your creation where you can see it regularly. This can help keep you oriented toward your dreams.

Take a look at the woman you wish to become. How did she get to be who she is? What was her path? Keep her in your thoughts. She will have plenty to tell you.


Input:
 Create a comprehensive bibliography for the book "The Survivor's Guide to Sex" that includes the following categories:

1. Recovery and Support: List books focused on the recovery process for survivors of sexual abuse. Include both fiction and nonfiction works.

   Examples: Beginning to Heal: A First Book for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, and Healing Your Sexual Self by Janet G. Woititz.

2. Research and Politics: Provide books that delve into the research and political aspects of child sexual abuse.

   Examples: The Assault on Truth: Freud's Suppression of the Seduction Theory by Jeffrey Moussaief Masson and Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman, M.D.

3. Poetry, Fiction, and Survivor's Stories: Include poetry collections, novels, and personal stories from survivors of sexual abuse.

   Examples: Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison and I Never Told Anyone: Writings by Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse edited by Ellen Bass and Louise Thornton.

For each book, provide the title, author, and publication information, including the publisher and publication date. Present the bibliography in an organized and easy-to-read format.

Response:
##  Books

RECOVERY AND SUPPORT

Beginning to Heal: A First Book for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis (HarperCollins, 1993).

Breaking Ritual Silence: An Anthology of Ritual Abuse Survivor's Stories edited by Jeanne Marie Lorena and Paula Levy (Trout and Sons, Inc., 1998).

Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis (Harperperennial, 1988, 1994). A comprehensive and thorough guide to the process of healing. Includes an excellent and extensive resource section.

The Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura Davis (HarperCollins, 1990).

Crossing the Boundary: Black Women Survive Incest by Melba Wilson (Seal Press, 1993).

Getting Home Alive by Aurora Levins Morales and Rosario Morales (Firebrand Books, 1986).

Healing Your Sexual Self by Janet G. Woititz (Health Communications, Inc., 1989).

Incest and Sexuality: A Guide to Understanding and Healing by Wendy Maltz and Beverly Holman (Lexington Books, 1987).

Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse by Renee Fredrickson (Simon and Schuster, 1992).

Safe Passage to Healing by Chrystine Oksana (Harper Perennial, 1994). A recovery guide for survivors of ritual abuse.

The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz (HarperCollins, 1991).

Shining Through: Pulling It Together by Bailey Leslie Wright and Mindy B. Loiselle (Safer Society Press, 1994).

Soul Survivors: A New Beginning for Adults Abused as Children by Patrick J. Gannon (Prentice Hall, 1989).

Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma of Childhood Abuse by Linda Sanford (Random House, 1990).

When You're Ready: A Woman's Guide to Healing from Childhood Physical and Sexual Abuse by Her Mother by Kathy Evert and Inie Bijkerk (Launch Press, 1987).

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing by Christiane Northrup, M.D. (Bantam Books, 1994, 1995).

Women's Sexuality After Childhood Incest by Elaine Westerlund (W.W. Norton, 1992).

RESEARCH AND POLITICS

The Assault on Truth: Freud's Suppression of the Seduction Theory by Jeffrey Moussaief Masson (Farrar, Strauss, Giroux, 1984).

Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse by Jennifer Freyd (Harvard University Press, 1998).

The Body in Pain: The Making and Unmaking of the World by Elaine Scarry (Oxford Press, 1986).

Borderlands, La Frontera: The New Mestiza by Gloria Anzaldua (Aunt Lute, 1987).

Conspiracy of Silence: The Trauma of Incest by Sandra Butler (Bantam Books, 1978, 1985).

Female Sexual Offenders: An Exploratory Study by Ruth Matthews, Jane Kinder Matthews and Kathleen Speltz (Safer Society Press, 1989).

A Gathering of Spirit: Writing and Art by North American Indian Women edited by Beth Brant (Sinister Wisdom Books, 1984).

The Hite Report: Growing Up Under Patriarchy by Shere Hite (Grove Press, 1994).

Home Front: Notes from the Family War Zone by Louise Armstrong (McGraw-Hill, 1984).

Incest: The Whole Story by Heidi Vanderbilt (Ballantine Books, 1994).

Making Face, Making Soul, Haciendo Caras: Creative and Critical Perspectives by Women of Color edited by Gloria Anzaldua (Aunt Lute, 1990). Medicine Stories: History, Culture and the Politics of Integrity by Aurora Levins Morales (South End Press, 1998).

Preventing Child Sexual Abuse: Sharing the Responsibility by Sandy K. Wurtele and Cindy L. Miller-Perrin (University of Nebraska Press, 1992).

Ritual Abuse: Definitions, Glossary, The Use of Mind Control (Los Angeles County Commission for Women, 1989).

Rocking the Cradle of Sexual Politics: What Happened When Women Said Incest by Louise Armstrong (Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1994).

Sexual Abuse in Nine North American Cultures edited by Lisa Aronson Fontes (Sage Press, 1995). A guide to treatment and prevention of child sexual abuse in diverse North American cultures.

Sibling Abuse: Hidden Physical, Emotional and Sexual Trauma by Vernon Wiehe (Sage Press, 1997).

A Sourcebook on Child Sexual Abuse by David Finkelhor and Associates (Sage Press, 1986).

Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child by Alice Miller (Meridian, 1986). Originally published in German as Du Dollst Nicht Merken, 1981.

Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. (Basic Books/HarperCollins, 1992, 1997).

Virginia Woolf: The Impact of Child Sexual Abuse on Her Life and Work by Louise DeSalvo (Beacon Press, 1989).

POETRY, FICTION AND SURVIVOR'S STORIES

Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison (Plume, 1992, 1993).

Daughters of Copper Woman by Anne Cameron (Press Gang Publishers, 1981).

Dream Work by Mary Oliver (Atlantic Monthly Press, 1986).

I Never Told Anyone: Writings by Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse edited by Ellen Bass and Louise Thornton (HarperCollins, 1983, 1991).

Not Vanishing by Chrystos (Press Gang Publishers, 1988).

Our Stunning Harvest: Poems by Ellen Bass (New Society Publishers, 1985).

Returning to Herself: Poems of Restoration by Caryn StarDancer (H.P.L. Publishing, 1989).


Input:
 Create a resource list of magazines and newsletters related to child sexual abuse, recovery, and support for survivors. Include the following publications:

1. Above and Beyond: Provide the mailing address for this publication.
Example: P.O. Box 2672, Ann Arbor, MI 48106-2672

2. The Chorus: Include the publisher (VOICES in Action) and mailing address for this newsletter.
Example: P.O. Box 148309, Chicago, IL 60614

3. The Healing Woman: Offer information about this international newsletter for women survivors of child sexual abuse, including the publisher (The Healing Woman Foundation, Inc.), mailing address, phone number, and website.
Example: P.O. Box 28040, San Jose, CA 95159; Phone: (408)246-1788; Website: www.healingwoman.org

4. National Resource Center on Child Sexual Abuse News: Provide the mailing address, phone number, and fax number for this resource center.
Example: 2204 Whitesburg Drive, Suite 200, Huntsville, AL 35801; Phone: (205) 534-6868; Fax: (205) 534-6863

5. Parent United Newsletter: Give the mailing address for this newsletter.
Example: 232 E. Gish Road, San Jose, CA 95112

6. Survivor Ship: A Forum on Survival of Ritual Abuse, Torture and Mind Control: Offer the mailing address and phone number for this forum.
Example: 3181 Mission Street, #139, San Francisco, CA 94110; Phone: (707) 279-1209

Response:
##  Magazines And Newsletters

Above and Beyond

P.O. Box 2672
Ann Arbor, MI 48106-2672

The Chorus

Published by VOICES in Action

P.O. Box 148309
Chicago, IL 60614

The Healing Woman
Published by The Healing Woman
Foundation, Inc. An internationally
distributed newsletter for women survivors of
child sexual abuse, "a community in print."

P.O. Box 28040
San Jose, CA 95159
(408)246-1788
www.healingwoman.org

National Resource Center
on Child Sexual Abuse News

2204 Whitesburg Drive, Suite 200,
Huntsville, AL 35801
(205) 534-6868
Fax: (205) 534-6863

Parent United Newsletter

232 E. Gish Road
San Jose, CA 95112

Survivor Ship: A Forum on Survival of Ritual
Abuse, Torture and Mind Control

3181 Mission Street, #139
San Francisco, CA 94110
(707) 279-1209


Input:
 Create a list of websites that provide resources and information related to child sexual abuse, healing, and support for survivors. Include the following websites:

1. Jim Hopper Child Sexual Abuse Resource Page: Offer a brief description of the site, including the target audience (men and women), types of information available (statistics on boys and girls, research, healing resources, and articles on abuse and abuse prevention), and the website URL.
Example: www.jimhopper.com; A great resource page with information for men and women, statistics on boys and girls, and links to research, healing resources, and articles on abuse and abuse prevention.

2. Sexual Assault Information Page: Provide a brief description of the site and its content, including the types of abuse covered and the number of links available, along with the website URL.
Example: www.cs.utk.edu/~bartley/saInfoPage.html; Thousands of links to Web pages concerning rape, child sexual abuse, incest, ritual abuse, sexual assault, and sexual harassment.

3. Princesses Haven: Give a brief description of the site, its target audience, and the resources it offers, as well as the website URL.
Example: www.uq.net.au/~zzdmcint/; An Australian Web site for all little girls who have been hurt, focusing on multiple personality disorder (MPD) and dissociative identity disorder (DID). Offers graphics, links, writings, books, chat room, coping strategies, information, and resources.

4. The Wounded Healer: Provide a brief description of the site, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the website URL.
Example: idealist.com/wounded\_healer/; A site for psychotherapists and other survivors of abuse in helping professions, offering support, resources, chat room, and an archive of articles.

Response:
##  Web Sites

Jim Hopper Child Sexual Abuse
Resource Page
www.jimhopper.com
This is a great resource page with information
for men and women, statistics on boys and
girls, and links to research, healing resources,
and articles on abuse and abuse prevention.
Jim Hopper's page will connect you to
numerous other sites regarding child sexual
abuse. Not to be missed.

Sexual Assault Information Page
www.cs.utk.edu/~bartley/saInfoPage.html
Thousands of links to Web pages concerning
rape, child sexual abuse, incest, ritual abuse,
sexual assault, and sexual harassment

Princesses Haven
www.uq.net.au/~zzdmcint/
Australian Web site "for all little girls who
have been hurt." Focuses on multiple
personality disorder (MPD) and dissociative
identity disorder (DID). Graphics, links,
writings, books, chat room, coping strategies,
information and resources.

The Wounded Healer
idealist.com/wounded_healer/
Site for psychotherapists and other survivors
of abuse in helping professions. Support,
resources, chat room, and archive of articles.


Input:
 Create a comprehensive list of recovery resources, organizations, and hotlines related to child sexual abuse. Include the following entities:

1. American Coalition for Abuse Awareness/One Voice: Provide a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address, phone numbers, and email).
Example: This national organization operates a phone line offering legal referrals and research information. Provides press kits on sexual abuse and memory. Maintains online resources lists, with the latest legal, research, public policy, and media articles regarding childhood sexual abuse and adult survivors. Contact information: 1835 K Street, N.W., Suite 960, Washington, D.C. 20006; Mailing address: P.O. Box 27958, Washington, D.C. 20038-7958; Resource line: (202) 667-1160; Voice: (202) 462-4688; Email: ACAADC@aol.com

2. American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children (APSAC): Give a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: An interdisciplinary professional society for people working in the field of child abuse. Contact information: 332 S. Michigan Avenue, #1600, Chicago, IL 60604; Phone number: (312) 554-0166

3. Association for Sexual Abuse Prevention (ASAP): Provide a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: Dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. ASAP advocates for child sexual abuse victims, provides training for professionals, and networks with prevention programs. Contact information: P.O. Box 421, Kalamazoo, MI 49005; Phone number: (216) 221-6818

4. CALICO Center: Offer a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: An interdisciplinary center designing new models for responding to children who have been physically and sexually abused. Contact information: 524 Estudillo Avenue, San Leandro, CA 94577; Phone number: (510) 895-0702

5. The Child Sexual Abuse Strategic Action Project: Give a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: Organizing to end the sexual abuse of children and empower adult survivors through community organizing and leadership training. Contact information: 584 Castro Street, PMB 640, San Francisco, CA 94114-2594; Phone number: (415) 285-6658

6. Family Violence and Sexual Assault Institute (FVSAI): Provide a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: An excellent networking, education, and training clearinghouse. Contact information: 1310 Clinic Drive, Tyler, TX 75701; Phone number: (903) 595-6600

7. Incest Survivors Resource Network International: Offer a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: An educational resource run by survivors. The phone line offers resources and networking for male survivors of mother-son incest. Contact information: P.O. Box 7375, Las Cruces, NM 88006-7375; Phone number: (505) 521-4260

8. The Kempe Center (The C. Henry Kempe Center for the Prevention and Treatment of Child Abuse and Neglect): Give a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: Nationally known institute. Offers model programs for treatment of children, offenders, and families. Resource library. Offers professional training. Contact information: 1205 Oneida Street, Denver, CO 80220; Phone number: (303) 321-3963

9. National Child Abuse Hotline: Provide a brief description of the hotline, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (phone number).
Example: A 24-hour child abuse hotline. Trained crisis counselors provide crisis intervention, information, and referrals. Phone number: (800) 4-A-CHILD

10. National Children's Advocacy Center: Provide a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address, phone number, and email).
Example: Presents national conferences on child sexual assault. Contact information: 200 Westside Square, Suite 700, Huntsville, AL 35801; Phone number: (205) 534-1328; Fax: (205) 534-6883

11. National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse: Give a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address, phone number, and email).
Example: Good prevention resources, conferences, and newsletter. Contact information: 332 S. Michigan Avenue, Suite 1600, Chicago, IL 60604; Web: <http://www.childabuse.org>

12. Norma J. Morris Center: Provide a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address, phone number, and email).
Example: A center for accessible healing for survivors of any form of child abuse. Their motto is prevention through healing. Contact information: PO Box 14038, San Francisco, CA 94114-0038; Phone number: (415) 452-1939; Fax: (415) 452-6253; Email: <www.ascasupport.org>

13. Parents United International: Offer a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: The treatment program includes individual and group therapy as well as a guided self-help component. Treatment is available for survivors, non-offending parents, and offenders. Contact information: 232 Gish Road, San Jose, CA 95112; Phone number: (408) 453-7616, ext. 124

14. RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network): Give a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address, phone number, and email).
Example: Started by songwriter Tori Amos. National hotline linked to rape crisis centers; refers callers to survivor resources for support. Contact information: 252 10th Street, N.E., Washington, DC 20002; Phone number: (800) 656-HOPE; Fax: (202) 544-1404

15. Sage Publications, Inc.: Provide a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: Numerous publications on child abuse and prevention. Contact information: 2455 Teller Road, Thousand Oaks, CA 91320-2218; Phone number: (805) 499-9774; Fax: (805) 499-0871

16. Santa Cruz Ritual Abuse Task Force: Offer a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: Resources for survivors and education for the public. Contact information: PO Box 1640, Santa Cruz, CA 95060-1640; Phone number: (408) 429-2322; Email: <members.cruzio.com/~ratf>

17. Survivor Connections: Give a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: An activist organization for survivors of clergy abuse and those who support them. Contact information: Frank and Sara Fitzpatrick, 52 Lyndon Road, Cranston, RI 02905-1121; Phone number: (401) 941-2548

18. VOICES in Action, Inc.: Provide a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: A national network of incest survivors and supporters. Includes over a hundred special interest support groups. Contact information: P.O. Box 14830, Chicago, IL 60614; Phone number: (312) 327-1500; Toll-free number: (800) 786-4238

19. Survivors Healing Center: Offer a brief description of the organization, its purpose, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: Founded by Ellen Bass and Amy Pine, this center provides resources, classes, and healing support for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Contact information: 2301 Mission Street, Suite C-1, Santa Cruz, CA 95060; Phone number: (831) 423-7601

20. Women's Center Incest Resources: Give a brief description of the organization, its mission, and the resources it offers, along with the contact information (mailing address and phone number).
Example: The center provides resource materials and referrals for survivors and professionals. Also available are consultation, training, and therapy. Contact information: c/o Women's Center, 46 Pleasant Street, Cambridge, MA 02139

Response:
##  Recovery Resources, Organizations, and Hotlines

American Coalition for Abuse
Awareness/One Voice

This national organization operates a phone line offering legal referrals and research information. Provides press kits on sexual abuse and memory. Maintains online resources lists, with the latest legal, research, public policy and media articles regarding childhood sexual abuse and adult survivors.

1835 K Street, N.W., Suite 960
Washington, D.C. 20006
Mailing address: P.O. Box 27958
Washington, D.C. 20038-7958
Resource line: (202) 667-1160
Voice: (202) 462-4688
ACAADC@aol.com

American Professional Society on the
Abuse of Children (APSAC)

An interdisciplinary professional society for people working in the field of child abuse.

332 S. Michigan Avenue, #1600
Chicago, IL 60604
(312) 554-0166

Association for Sexual Abuse Prevention (ASAP)

Dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. ASAP advocates for child sexual abuse victims, provides training for professionals, and networks with prevention programs.

P.O. Box 421
Kalamazoo, MI 49005
(216) 221-6818

CALICO Center

Interdisciplinary center designing new models for responding to children who have been physically and sexually abused.

524 Estudillo Avenue
San Leandro, CA 94577
(510) 895-0702

The Child Sexual Abuse
Strategic Action Project

Organizing to end the sexual abuse of children and empower adult survivors through community organizing and leadership training.

584 Castro Street, PMB 640
San Francisco, CA 94114-2594
(415) 285-6658

Family Violence and Sexual Assault
Institute (FVSAI)

An excellent networking, education and training clearinghouse.

1310 Clinic Drive
Tyler, TX 75701
(903) 595-6600

Incest Survivors Resource Network
International

An educational resource run by survivors. The phone line offers resources and networking for male survivors of mother-son incest.

P.O. Box 7375
Las Cruces, NM 88006-7375
(505) 521-4260

The Kempe Center
(The C. Henry Kempe Center for the
Prevention and Treatment of Child Abuse
and Neglect)

Nationally known institute. Offers model programs for treatment of children, offenders and families. Resource library. Offers professional training.

1205 Oneida Street
Denver, CO 80220
(303) 321-3963

National Child Abuse Hotline

A 24-hour child abuse hotline. Trained crisis counselors provide crisis intervention, information and referrals. (800) 4-A-CHILD

National Children's Advocacy Center

Presents national conferences on child sexual assault.

200 Westside Square, Suite 700
Huntsville, AL 35801
(205) 534-1328
Fax: (205) 534-6883

National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse

Good prevention resources, conferences, and newsletter.

332 S. Michigan Avenue, Suite 1600
Chicago, IL 60604
web: http//www.childabuse.org

Norma J. Morris Center

A center for accessible healing for survivors of any form of child abuse. Their motto is prevention through healing.

PO Box 14038
San Francisco, CA 94114-0038
(415) 452-1939
Fax: (415) 452-6253
www.ascasupport.org

Parents United International

The treatment program includes individual and group therapy as well as a guided self-help component. Treatment is available for survivors, non-offending parents, and offenders.

232 Gish Road
San Jose, CA 95112
(408) 453-7616, ext. 124

RAINN

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

Started by songwriter Tori Amos. National hotline linked to rape crisis centers; refers callers to survivor resources for support.

252 10th Street, N.E.
Washington, DC 20002
(800) 656-HOPE
Fax: (202) 544-1404

Sage Publications, Inc.

Numerous publications on child abuse and prevention.

2455 Teller Road
Thousand Oaks, CA 91320-2218
(805) 499-9774
Fax: (805) 499-0871

Santa Cruz Ritual Abuse Task Force

Resources for survivors and education for the public.

PO Box 1640
Santa Cruz, CA 95060-1640
(408) 429-2322
members.cruzio.com/~ratf

Survivor Connections

An activist organization for survivors of clergy abuse and those who support them.

Frank and Sara Fitzpatrick
52 Lyndon Road
Cranston, RI 02905-1121
(401) 941-2548

VOICES in Action, Inc.

A national network of incest survivors and supporters. Includes over a hundred special interest support groups.

P.O. Box 14830
Chicago, IL 60614
(312) 327-1500
(800) 786-4238

Survivors Healing Center

Founded by Ellen Bass and Amy Pine, this center provides resources, classes, and healing support for survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

2301 Mission Street, Suite C-1
Santa Cruz, CA 95060
(831) 423-7601

Women's Center Incest Resources

The center provides resource materials and referrals for survivors and professionals. Also available are consultation, training, and therapy.

c/o Women's Center
46 Pleasant Street
Cambridge, MA 02139


Input:
 Write a list of books related to relationships, commitment, and love, focusing on different types of couples, including heterosexual, lesbian, and gay. Include the following books:

1. Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D. (Bantam Books, 1990): Provide a brief description or summary of the book and its relevance to relationships.
Example: A book that explores the journey of co-commitment in relationships, offering insights and practices for building a strong emotional connection and overcoming challenges.

2. Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. (Henry Holt and Company, 1988): Provide a brief description or summary of the book and its relevance to relationships.
Example: A self-help guide for couples that focuses on identifying and understanding each partner's emotional needs and learning effective communication skills to create a more fulfilling relationship.

3. Lesbian Couples: Creating Healthy Relationships for the 90s by D. Merilee Clunis (Seal Press, 1993): Provide a brief description or summary of the book and its relevance to lesbian couples.
Example: A guide specifically tailored to the unique experiences of lesbian couples, offering strategies for building healthy relationships and addressing common challenges.

4. The Lesbian and Gay Book of Love and Marriage: Creating the Stories of Our Lives by Paula Martinac (Broadway Books, 1998): Provide a brief description or summary of the book and its relevance to lesbian and gay couples.
Example: A resource for lesbian and gay couples that explores the unique aspects of their relationships, including the legal, social, and emotional considerations.

5. The Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships by David Schnarch, Ph.D. (W.W. Norton and Company, 1997): Provide a brief description or summary of the book and its relevance to relationships.
Example: A guide to maintaining passion, intimacy, and emotional connection in long-term relationships, offering practical advice and exercises to help couples deepen their connection and enhance their sexual experiences.

Response:
##  Books

Conscious Loving:

The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D. (Bantam Books, 1990).

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. (Henry Holt andCompany, 1988).

Lesbian Couples: Creating Healthy Relationships for the 90s by D. Merilee Clunis (Seal Press, 1993).

The Lesbian and Gay Book of Love and Marriage: Creating the Stories of Our Lives by Paula Martinac (Broadway Books, 1998).

The Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships by David Schnarch, Ph.D. (W.W. Norton and Co., 1997).


Input:
 Write a list of recovery resources, organizations, and hotlines related to various forms of addiction, substance abuse, and mental health issues. Include the following resources:

1. Alcoholics Anonymous: Provide the contact information, including the address, phone number, and website for the organization dedicated to helping people recover from alcoholism using the Twelve-Step program.
Example: An international organization that offers a Twelve-Step program to help individuals struggling with alcoholism achieve and maintain sobriety.

2. Al-Anon Family Groups: Provide the contact information, including the address, phone number, email address, and website for the organization that offers support to family members of alcoholics.
Example: A worldwide fellowship that offers support to friends and family members of people affected by alcoholism, using the Twelve-Step program to help them cope with the challenges of living with an alcoholic.

3. Center for Sexual Abuse Treatment: Include the name of the organization that provides resources and referrals to treatment programs for sexual abuse survivors.
Example: A treatment center that offers specialized therapy and support for individuals who have experienced sexual abuse, helping them recover and heal from trauma.

4. National Drug Abuse Hotline: Include the name and contact number for the hotline that provides referrals to treatment programs for drug abuse.
Example: A national hotline that offers information and resources for individuals struggling with drug addiction, providing referrals to appropriate treatment programs.

5. Debtors Anonymous: Provide the contact information, including the address, phone number, email address, and website for the Twelve-Step program for people with debting and spending problems.
Example: A fellowship that offers a Twelve-Step program to help individuals address and overcome their problems with debt and compulsive spending.

6. Narcotics Anonymous: Provide the contact information, including the address, phone number, fax number, and website for the Twelve-Step program for people in recovery from drug addiction.
Example: An international organization that offers a Twelve-Step program to help individuals struggling with drug addiction achieve and maintain sobriety.

7. Overeaters Anonymous: Provide the contact information, including the address, phone number, fax number, and website for the Twelve-Step program for people in recovery from compulsive overeating.
Example: A fellowship that offers a Twelve-Step program to help individuals address and overcome their problems with compulsive eating and food addiction.

8. Recovery Systems, Inc.: Include the name and contact information for the organization that offers a nutritional approach to recovery from addiction and healing the body from substance abuse and trauma.
Example: A treatment center that focuses on using nutrition and supplements to support recovery from addiction and promote healing for the body and mind.

9. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: Provide the contact information, including the address, phone number, email address, and website for the Twelve-Step program for people in recovery from sex and love addiction.
Example: A fellowship that offers a Twelve-Step program to help individuals address and overcome their problems with sex and love addiction.

10. Women for Sobriety: Provide the contact information, including the address, phone number, and website for the organization that offers referrals to self-help groups for women with addictions.
Example: A non-profit organization that provides support and resources for women in recovery from addiction, offering referrals to self-help groups and other recovery resources.

Response:
##  Recovery Resources, Organizations, and Hotlines

Alcoholics Anonymous

The original Twelve-Step program which has helped millions of alcoholics.

Box 459, Grand Central Station
New York, NY 10163
(212) 647-1680
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

Al-Anon Family Groups

Support groups for family members of alcoholics.

P.O. Box 862, Midtown Station
New York, NY 10018
(800) 356-9996
WSO@al-anon.org
www.al-anon.org/

Center for Sexual Abuse Treatment

National Drug Abuse Hotline

Information line with referrals to treatment programs.
(800) 662-HELP

Debtors Anonymous

Twelve-Step program for people with problems with debting and spending. Write for meetings in your area or look in your local phone book.

General Service Office
PO Box 920888
Needham, MA 02492-0009
(781) 453-2743
Fax: (781) 453-2745
new@debtorsanonymous.org
www.debtorsanonymous.org/

Narcotics Anonymous

Twelve-Step program for people in recovery from drug addiction.

World Service Office, Inc.
P.O. Box 9999
Van Nuys, CA 91409
(818) 780-3951
Fax: (818) 785-0923
www.na.org/

Overeaters Anonymous

Twelve-Step program for people in recovery from compulsive overeating.

World Service Office
6075 Zenith Court N.E.
Rio Rancho, NM 87124
(505) 891-2664
Fax: (505) 891-4320
www.overeatersanonymous.org/

Recovery Systems, Inc.

Offers a nutritional approach to recovery from addiction and healing the body from drug or alcohol abuse, the impact of nicotine or refined sugars, and the results of trauma on the health of the body. The founder Julia Ross is the author of The Diet Cure (Viking, 1999).

147 Lomita Drive, Suite D
Mill Valley, CA 94941
(415) 458-8446
(800) 458-8446
www.dietcure.com

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Twelve-Step program for people in recovery from sex and love addiction.

The Augustine Fellowship
P.O. Box 338
Norwood, MA 02062-0338
(781) 255-8825
slaafws@aol.com
www.slaafws.org/

Women for Sobriety

Provides referrals to self-help groups for women with addictions.

P.O. Box 618
Quakertown, PA 18951
(215) 536-8026
(800) 333-1606
www.womenforsobriety.org/