Shivchei HaRan
שבחי הר"ן
Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom, trans. Aryeh Kaplan, Jerusalem. Breslov Research Institute, 1973
https://www.nli.org.il/he/books/NNL_ALEPH000373446/NLI
Shivchei HaRan
Introduction
I, Reb Noson, son of Rabbi Naftali Hertz of Nemirov, fully realize that an account of our awesome holy Rebbe’s life should be written.
I have therefore recorded a small portion of his saintly ways, from his earliest perception until his departure from this world in peace. I myself heard some of these accounts from the Rebbe’s holy lips. Others were gleaned from those who knew him during his lifetime. Much of what is written here was seen with our own eyes.
The Rebbe had much opposition, and I know full well that many will not believe these accounts. I will not let this deter me. Many people yearn for these words and have urged me to publish this volume.
Deep inside, my thoughts assure me and my innards tell me that these words should be published for the sake of those who would follow them. It does not matter who initiated them — they are obviously pure and holy ways. How can I withhold this volume from those who sincerely thirst for it?
The truth is its own witness. Look at the Rebbe’s writings with an unprejudiced eye, and you yourself will see that he revealed concepts that cannot be perceived with the unaided human intellect. These teachings could only be attained from the highest source, through holiness and purity.
It is impossible to go into further detail. Anything more would only be superfluous. As people say, “It is either unnecessary, or else it is futile.”
At first, my heart beat with uncertainty and I did not know which path to follow. Then I resolved that I would write freely, no matter what the consequences, “that future generations might know … and arise and tell it to their children” (Psalms 78:6). They will see this book and walk in the footsteps marked along these paths.
It is self-evident that these ways are precious and holy. Every man can follow them and bring himself close to God; for they apply to everyone, great and small alike.
No matter how low you are, you can follow the paths charted here. Have pity on your soul and consider your true purpose, and you will be worthy of eternal life, soaring like the Children of the Highest Abode. Just be firm in your conviction, like a firmly-driven stake that cannot be moved, never straying from the path mapped out in this book.
What we have recorded here is less than a drop in the ocean of the Rebbe’s great holiness and outstanding qualities. They tower high above, in a place where human intellect cannot reach.
We also have no desire to retell any of the Rebbe’s miracles and wonders. Our only concern is to present ideas that can bring others to fear of God. Let them read this and learn a way.
Everyone who saw our manuscripts praised them very highly. Their hearts were touched with a closeness to God and they urged me to publish them. They prevailed upon me with words (Ezekiel 35:13), until I was bound to complete this task.
May God have mercy on us, and may we be worthy to walk in the ways of our fathers who served their Master with awe, until Zion and Jerusalem are rebuilt and all Israel shall fly like doves to their cotes (Isaiah 60:8).
May this be in our days. Amen.
The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters. A flowing brook, a fountain of wisdom (Proverbs 18:4)
Chapter 1
As a small child, the Rebbe decided that he would detach himself completely from this world. He wanted to break the desire to eat, but because he was young, he thought it would be impossible to forgo his regular meals. He decided that he would swallow his food without chewing it. In this way, he would not derive any pleasure from the food. He continued doing this until his throat became completely swollen.
When the Rebbe recounted this, he mentioned that he was only six years old at the time.
We once heard of a great tzaddik who swallowed his food without chewing it, and this was considered very unique. The Rebbe did this when he was just a child.
Chapter 2
As a young child, the Rebbe wanted to literally fulfill the verse, “I have set God before me constantly” (Psalms 16:8). He continually tried to depict God’s Ineffable Name before his eyes, even while studying with his tutor. His thoughts were so occupied that he often did not know his lessons, making his teacher very angry.
Despite this, the Rebbe acted like a normal child his age – playing, jumping and taking walks. He behaved this way constantly.
Chapter 3
When he became bar mitzvah, his uncle, Rabbi Ephraim of Sudylkov, called him and pronounced over him the verse, “Today I have begotten you” (Psalms 2:7). This verse speaks of the day a person becomes bar mitzvah, as discussed in the holy literature (cf. Zohar Chadash 10c). His uncle then spoke to him briefly regarding religious devotion, and these words were as dear to the Rebbe as if he had found a great treasure (Psalms 119:162).
The Rebbe was married soon after this. Immediately after the wedding, he burned with enthusiasm, deeply yearning to serve God. Day by day, he moved further and further along this path of devotion.
Chapter 4
While still a child, the Rebbe began to devote every possible moment to his sacred studies. He would pay his tutor three silver coins out of his own pocket for each page of Gemara taught. This was in addition to the regular tuition paid by his father. The Rebbe would add his own bonus for each page so his tutor would exert himself to teach him many pages each day. The Rebbe’s plan succeeded and his tutor taught him a considerable amount every day, collecting his three extra coins for each page.
Chapter 5
This is the way the Rebbe served God. All his devotion was concealed to such an extent that not a single person knew about it. He kept everything well-hidden, cloaked in great secrecy.
At first, the Rebbe’s way of serving God was one of extreme simplicity. He did not resort to any sophistication, but walked a very uncomplicated path.
When the Rebbe was involved in his devotions, he did everything with great strength and effort. No form of devotion came easily and the Rebbe literally had to lay down his life in many cases. Each thing required tremendous effort, and he had to work hard each time he wanted to do something to serve God. He had thousands upon thousands of ups and downs.
The most difficult thing was to begin to serve God and accept the yoke of true devotion. Each time he would begin, he would find himself falling. He would then begin anew and stumble yet another time. This occurred countless times, over and over again.
Finally, the Rebbe resolved to stand fast and maintain his foothold without paying attention to anything else in the world. From then on, his heart was firm in its devotion to God. But even so, he went up and down many times. By then, however, he was determined never to abandon his devotion, no matter how many times he fell. No matter what happened, he would remain devoted to God to the very best of his ability.
Chapter 6
The Rebbe became accustomed to constantly begin anew. Whenever he fell from his particular level, he did not give up. He would simply say, “I will act as if I am just beginning to devote myself to God and this is the very first time.”
This happened time and again, and each time he would start all over again. He would often begin anew many times in a single day. For even in the course of a day, there were many times when he would fall away from his high level of devotion. But each time he would start again, no matter how many times it happened, even within a single day (see “His Wisdom” #48).
Chapter 7
The Rebbe devoted every available moment to his sacred studies. He spent much time studying the Talmud, the Shulchan Arukh, the Bible, the Ein Yaakov, and the mystical books of the Zohar, the Tikkuney Zohar and the writings of the holy Ari. He also delved into many other sacred works, especially those involving Mussar.
The Rebbe said that his father’s library contained all the small Mussar books and that he went through every one. He also spent much time with the Reishit Chokhmah, stating that he reread this remarkable work countless times.
The Rebbe’s unique expertise in all sacred literature was obvious. He was particularly unique in his knowledge of the Bible, the Ein Yaakov, the Ari’s writings, and the Zohar and Tikkuney Zohar, to the point that literally no one could be compared to him.
He was fluent in the entire Torah. He could quote anything in the sacred literature as if the book were opened in front of him. It was like a table set before him, where he could see everything and choose what he desired. The entire scope of our sacred literature was like this, standing ready before his mind’s eye to be used whenever he desired. This can be seen to some extent in the Rebbe’s writings.
Chapter 8
The Rebbe told us that all his studies required great effort.
When he began to learn Mishnah as a young child, he did not understand it. He wept and wept until he was able to understand the Mishnah. Later, when he studied more advanced works, he again found himself unable to comprehend them. Again he cried bitterly until he was worthy of understanding. This was true even of such esoteric studies as the Zohar and the writings of the Ari, where understanding only came after long and bitter weeping.
He said that when he began to study any work, he did not understand it. It was very difficult for him and he could not grasp its straightforward meaning. This greatly distressed him. His studies required prodigious effort, but nevertheless, he studied a lot by constantly encouraging himself. He achieved it all through his prayer and weeping.
Chapter 9
The Rebbe engaged in many fasts. Even while still in his teens, he fasted from Shabbat to Shabbat many times (see “His Wisdom” #160-161). There were occasions when he fasted from Shabbat to Shabbat twice in succession.
Although the Rebbe was a child of delights (Jeremiah 31:19), raised in comfort, he was very thin. Still, he would disregard himself completely, fasting and mortifying himself in every possible way. Once he fasted from Shabbat to Shabbat eighteen times in a single year.
Chapter 10
The main way the Rebbe attained what he did was simply through prayer and supplication before God. He was very consistent in this. He would beg and plead in every way possible, asking that God have mercy and make him worthy of true devotion and closeness.
What helped him most were his prayers in the language he usually spoke, which was Yiddish. He would find a secluded place and set it aside to express his thoughts to God.
Speaking in his own language, he would beg and plead before God. He would make use of all sorts of arguments and logic, crying that it was fitting that God draw him close and help him in his devotion. He kept this up constantly, spending days and years engaged in such prayer.
His father’s house had a small garret that was partitioned off as a storehouse for hay and feed. Here he would hide himself, chanting the Psalms and screaming quietly (see "His Wisdom" #16), begging God to make him worthy of drawing himself close to Him.
Besides this, the Rebbe made use of every published prayer he could find. He went through all the books of prayers available, and there was not a prayer that he did not repeat countless times. He recited them all – the Psalms, the Sha'arey Tzion and the prayers printed in the large siddurim. He poured out his heart in every possible prayer and supplication, even those printed in Yiddish [for women]. Not a single one was omitted. The Rebbe also had the custom of reciting all the supplications following each day’s ma’amodot. He would say the prayers for all seven days of the week at one time.
He also had the practice of chanting only the verses in Psalms that speak of prayer and the cry to God. He would go through the entire Book of Psalms in one stretch, saying only these verses and leaving out the rest.
Beyond all this, the main thing was his own prayers, emanating from his heart in his own language. He would pray and argue before God, making up petitions and arguments as he went along. He would beg and plead that God make him worthy of true devotion.
Prayers such as these helped the Rebbe achieve his greatness. We heard this explicitly from the Rebbe’s own holy lips.
Chapter 11
When the Rebbe was speaking before God, petitions and supplications would pour forth from his heart, and he would often bring up some particularly good argument, or compose an especially fitting and well-ordered prayer. He would take the prayers he particularly liked and preserve them in writing. These he would repeat many times.
These conversations with God were the Rebbe’s most common practice. All his prayers had a single focus – that he should be worthy of drawing himself close to God. He presented God with many powerful arguments about this.
Chapter 12
Still, it always seemed to the Rebbe that all his prayers were being disregarded. He was sure that he was not wanted at all, and was being pushed further and further away from any true devotion. For he saw the days and years passing, and still he felt far from God. After all his prayers, he felt he had not been worthy of drawing close to God at all. It was as if his words were never heard and he had been totally ignored all this time. It seemed as though everything was being done to push him away from God.
But the Rebbe’s resolve remained firm and he did not abandon his ground. It was not easy, for there were many things to discourage him. He prayed and pleaded before God, begging to be worthy of true devotion, and still he saw no results. He felt as if he was being totally ignored.
There were times when he became discouraged and let his conversations with God lapse for several days. But then he would remind himself that he should be ashamed for criticizing God’s ways. He said to himself, “God is truly merciful and compassionate. He certainly wants to draw me near to Him.”
Then he was able to strengthen his resolve again. He would begin anew, pleading and speaking before God. This happened many times (see Likutey Moharan II, 48).
Chapter 13
The Rebbe used to engage in all sorts of simple devotions. When it came to serving God, he was utterly without sophistication.
All the Rebbe’s devotions were also completely hidden. As soon as he found himself in public, he would make a special effort to do all sorts of childish things. He would jump and play so much that no one could tell he really wanted to devote himself to God.
The following childhood custom illustrates both these points. As a young child, the Rebbe would often exchange several silver coins for coppers. Then he would secretly enter the synagogue through the window, taking along his copy of Sha'arey Tzion.
He would then joyfully recite the prayer, LeShem Yichud, asking that the elements of God’s Name be unified through the good deed he was about to do. As soon as he finished the prayer, he would take one copper and place it in the charity box for anonymous donors. He would then distract himself, as if he had completed the deed and was ready to leave. Then suddenly, he would begin again. He would say the LeShem Yichud a second time and deposit another copper in the charity box. He would distract himself again, and repeat the process.
The Rebbe would do this again and again until he had placed every single copper in the charity box, each time repeating the LeShem Yichud. In this very simple and unsophisticated manner, he would perform not one, but many mitzvot with a single silver coin.
This was the Rebbe’s way. He would serve God with many such simple-minded devotions, divorcing himself from all sophistication. It was not that he was incapable of sophistication. Nothing could be further from the truth. He was an outstanding genius, capable of great depth even as a child, as all who knew him could attest. Yet he made absolutely no use of his brilliance when it came to serving God. His devotion would be as simple as possible. He would study Torah, do good deeds, and pray and plead in seclusion, expressing his thoughts before God. He required nothing more complicated than this.
This was the Rebbe’s true genius. He immediately grasped this most basic principle, that sophistication is totally unnecessary when one is serving God. This is truly the greatest wisdom (see Likutey Moharan II, 5:15; note 134, p. XX).
The Rebbe spoke of this many times. One does not have to be a genius to serve God. Just be simple and sincere, without any cleverness.
Chapter 14
No religious experience came easily for the Rebbe. Whenever he served God, he experienced every possible hardship.
For example, he found it very difficult to sit alone in a special room for several hours, devoting himself to God. At first, this was next to impossible for him. But instead of giving up, he forced himself, overcoming his basic nature by spending many hours meditating in his special room.
The same was true of his daily religious obligations. They burdened him like a heavy yoke and he often felt that they would crush him. His difficulties were unimaginable.
But the Rebbe discovered a way that enabled him to bear even the heavy yoke of his devotion. Each day he would say to himself, “I have only this one day. I will ignore tomorrow and all future days. I have only this one day alone.”
In this manner, the Rebbe was able to bear the yoke of his devotion for that day. It was only for one day, and for just a single day one can accept all sorts of burdens. Only when that day’s devotions were finished would the Rebbe accept the next day’s responsibilities.
This was the Rebbe’s way. He would consider only one day at a time. In this manner, he was able to bear an extremely heavy yoke of devotion, a burden he could not otherwise endure at all.
For the Rebbe served God with all sorts of devotions requiring great exertion and effort. His routine was so difficult that it would have been absolutely impossible had he not considered each day as the only day.
Chapter 15
The Rebbe used to make frequent use of vows. He would plan out an order of devotion for each day and often at the beginning of the day, make a vow to fulfill it. Then, because of the vow, he would be obliged to complete his plan regardless of how difficult it was. This was a frequent practice.
The Rebbe made use of all sorts of safeguards to keep him from particular temptations or bad traits. Among his many devices was his use of vows. Often he would make an inviolable oath, holding a sacred object in his hand, just to strengthen his resolve and keep him from something he wished to avoid.
Chapter 16
The Rebbe’s holy qualities were very apparent in his conquest of the universal desire – namely, that of sex.
He told us that he had had countless temptations. Still, he insisted that sex was not really all that much to be desired and certainly not a difficult test to withstand. The Rebbe said, “Any person, Jew and non-Jew alike, will not even think of sex as something much to be desired if he is truly wise. If one knows anatomy and understands bodily functions, he should be absolutely repulsed by this desire.” He spoke at length, but unfortunately, most of the discussion was forgotten.
However, the general trend of his conversation was that the sexual act was ultimately repulsive. He emphasized this to such an extent that once he said flatly, “A man with even the smallest amount of true intelligence will not find this a temptation at all" (see “His Wisdom” #51).
There was a time in the Rebbe’s youth when he had not yet subjugated this desire. At that time, he still had so many fearful sexual temptations that it is impossible to describe them in detail. In his youth, when his blood was literally burning, he experienced countless trials. He had many opportunities and was in great danger, time and again. But he was a stalwart warrior and overcame every evil desire. In this way, he surmounted his temptations many times.
Despite this, the Rebbe did not seek to avoid temptation. He actually wanted to be tested and he prayed to God to set temptations before him. This shows how self-confident he was that he would not rebel against God. For he said, “How can one sin and disobey God, unless he is literally insane? But with just a little common sense, all temptations can be overcome” (Tzaddik #232). So firmly was the Rebbe’s heart resolved toward God.
Despite all this, the temptations were very real and at the time, the Rebbe was in great peril. He would cry out to God again and again until he was able to surmount this evil. Difficult as his trials were, the Rebbe still did not attempt to avoid them. Countless times he battled with his passions, until God helped him and he was able to subjugate his impulse entirely.
The Rebbe finally destroyed the fiery chamber of this universal desire completely. He then became very holy, totally separating himself from such pleasures. His separation was absolute, a great and awesome level of holiness. The Rebbe said, “The forces of evil would concede me everything if only I would go along with this. I will concede to everything else, but this one thing I will surmount completely.”
The Evil One was willing to let the Rebbe overcome every single desire, as long as the Rebbe conceded to one thing. In all probability this refers to sex, the most universal temptation, for the main battle with the Evil One is this battle (see Likutey Moharan I, 2:9). But the Rebbe said that he would do the opposite. He would ignore his other desires and not work to control them at all. But the sexual desire he would eradicate completely.
This is actually how the Rebbe began. At first, he directed all his effort toward this one goal, to annihilate every vestige of sexual desire. He totally ignored such pleasures as eating, making no effort at all to subdue them. Indeed, he would eat very much, even more than most people. He said, “At that time, I was drawing all my desires into my appetite for food.” But later, even this appetite was subdued (Tzaddik #218).
Do not think that such self-control was a simple matter. In order to gain total control over his sexual instincts, the Rebbe had to battle countless temptations. It required many days and years of praying and begging and pouring out his heart before God, pleading that He rescue him from this desire.
The Rebbe continued along this path until he was able to withstand all temptation. He sanctified himself to such a degree that his total separation from this desire cannot be imagined. In the end, he was worthy of subjugating it completely. He worked on himself until he actually found it difficult to understand how people could consider this desire difficult to control. For to him, it was no longer any temptation at all.
The Rebbe discussed this with us often, telling us how he annihilated this desire and was actually repulsed by it. He said, “It is impossible to speak about this with people who have already defiled themselves. It is so intermingled with their blood that it has become part of their very minds. Thus, they cannot comprehend this. It cannot enter their hearts. They do not know that a person can possess so much self-control that he can actually be repelled by sex.”
But enough said. One who has any true intelligence at all can easily condition himself to reject this desire completely. For the Rebbe said that this is no temptation at all for the truly intelligent man. The Rebbe once said, “There must be a secret meaning in all this. For it is really no desire at all.”
He took pride in overcoming this instinct entirely. When it came to this, he was a very holy and awesome individual.
He said, “I do not have any feeling of desire at all. Men and women are all the same to me.” When he saw or spoke with a woman, he needed no struggle to prevent an untoward thought, because it was all the same to him (cf. Ketubot 17a).
Chapter 17
The Rebbe said, “The true tzaddik has such a degree of self-control that even marital relations are difficult for him. He is so far removed from these instincts that they cause him as much suffering as circumcision causes a child. The tzaddik has even more anguish, for an infant does not realize what is happening. But the tzaddik has full realization and therefore suffers even greater pain.
The Rebbe considered this a simple accomplishment. He said, “Every person can attain this level.” And from the way he said it, it was apparent that his own holiness was much greater.
Chapter 18
The Rebbe said, “To me, men and women are alike.” He did not have a single wayward thought when looking at a woman. To him, it was no different than looking at a man.
He once said, “I am afraid of neither woman nor angel.” This requires explanation. A person may cleanse himself totally of evil thoughts. However, as long as he has the slightest fear of such thoughts, he is not absolutely cleansed. This slight fear indicates that he has not yet attained absolute purity. Therefore, he must fear an angel.
This was the Rebbe’s meaning. He had no reason to fear his thoughts, and therefore he did not fear any angel.
Our Sages allude to this concept to some degree, as the saintly Rav Amram said to an angel, “I am flesh and you are fire, and I am better than you” (Kiddushin 81a). The Rebbe explains this excerpt in Likutey Moharan. Read his words carefully and you will understand.
Chapter 19
During his childhood, the Rebbe constantly visited the grave of the holy Baal Shem Tov. He would speak to his great-grandfather and ask him to help him draw close to God.
He would go at night, even during the great winter frosts. After leaving the gravesite he would immerse in a mikvah. The town of Medzeboz, where he lived as a child, had two mikvaot. One was inside the bathhouse and the other was in the outside courtyard. The Rebbe always chose to immerse in the outdoor mikvah, even during the great frosts when he was thoroughly chilled from his trip to the Baal Shem Tov’s grave.
It was a long walk from the Rebbe’s house to the cemetery. Then the Rebbe could spend a long time at the grave. After this, he had another long walk to the mikvah. He would arrive there frozen, but would still use the outdoor mikvah. He forced himself to do this in order to gain total self-mastery. All this took place late at night, when he could not be seen.
I heard this from another person who heard it from the Rebbe’s own holy lips. This practice took place when the Rebbe was no more than six years old.
The Rebbe concealed his devotions to such an extent that there were often humorous results. One icy winter morning, he went to the mikvah and returned to the synagogue with dripping wet peyot. The people looked at him with surprise, wondering why his hair was wet. They never imagined that such a young child was immersing in the mikvah, and thought that he had washed his hair. But washing one’s hair early in the morning on such a frigid day seemed ludicrous, so they dismissed it as another one of his childish ways. No one ever imagined the truth, so completely did he conceal his devotions.
The same was true of his many great fasts. Not a single person knew about them, not even his parents and relatives. Only his wife knew that he was not taking his meals, and he made her swear not to reveal it. The Rebbe used every device possible to conceal his fasts so that no one knew about them at all (see “His Wisdom” #160-162).
Chapter 20
When the Rebbe left Medzeboz and went to live with his father-in-law, there were still many occasions when he wanted to speak to the Baal Shem Tov. Since he could not actually visit his grave, he would go to the grave of the renowned Rabbi Yeshaya of Yanov in the nearby city of Smela. He would ask the famed tzaddik to transmit his message to the Baal Shem Tov, telling him what he needed.
Chapter 21
The Rebbe fought another great battle to subdue his enjoyment for food. At first, he made no effort at all to control his appetite. When he began to work on it, he found the task most difficult. The subjugation of his sense of taste appeared to be so formidable that it seemed he could overcome every desire but this. No matter how much he tried to separate himself from worldly pleasures, it seemed that his appetite for food would remain. The power of this desire was so strong that it appeared impossible to control.
But the Rebbe stood fast and overcame this instinct too, destroying his appetite for food completely. His great holiness when it came to eating was obvious and well-known. It seemed as if he ate nothing at all. He actually reached a point where he had to compel himself to eat anything. He had to force himself with all his strength in order to partake of the barest minimum required to sustain life.
The Rebbe said that when he first began, he would force himself to eat less than usual. When he became accustomed to this amount, he would again compel himself to eat less. When he realized that he was still deriving enjoyment from this reduced amount, he would subdue his appetite and eat still less. Again he felt some pleasure, so he made his portions even smaller. He continued doing this until he had reduced the amount he ate to an absolute minimum. It is impossible to imagine how he even lived on such a small amount.
The Rebbe realized that even this very small amount that he was eating gave him some pleasure. He girded himself and subdued even this small enjoyment. He continued in this manner until he literally did not derive any pleasure at all from eating. When he abandoned this desire, he reached a state of ultimate holiness, no longer deriving any pleasure whatsoever from the physical world.
At first, when the Rebbe separated himself from the pleasure of taste, he found it almost impossible to eat at all. But from his words, it appears that later on he was able to eat with absolute holiness. He no longer derived any pleasure, no matter how much he ate. But in the beginning, he accustomed himself to eat very little, and even eating this much was an arduous task.
The Rebbe told us that he first began to eat again when he was at sea during his pilgrimage to the Holy Land. He saw that he could not sustain his life otherwise, so he forced himself to eat a little. From then on, he would eat a small amount of food. But until that time, he did not eat even that much. And though the amount he ate during his sea voyage was still very little, what he ate previously was much less.
The Rebbe’s pilgrimage to the Land of Israel is a story of its own. He suffered bitterly, both coming and going. It took much effort and risk, overcoming many frustrations, before he was worthy of setting foot in the Holy Land. This will be recounted in the next section, but only to a small extent. We will tell a little of the story, but to describe it all is impossible.
Chapter 22
The Rebbe displayed outstanding saintliness in overcoming his bad traits.
He told us a little of how he subdued his quick temper. At first, he was very bad-tempered, becoming angry at the slightest provocation. But because he wanted to be a good, kind person, as God desires, he began to work on his temper until he overcame it completely. He rejected anger out of hand, pushing himself to the opposite extreme. In the place of anger, he now had absolute patience and tolerance.
The Rebbe reached a stage where nothing bothered him at all. He was so serene that nothing could annoy him. No matter how much bad a person did to him, he would tolerate it without any hatred whatsoever. He would love his opponents, not bearing any ill feelings toward them at all. The Rebbe was renowned for his outstanding serenity. There was a holy calmness about him, where nothing in the world could annoy or anger him. He was just absolutely good.
But he became worthy of this only in the Holy Land.
The Rebbe revealed that only in the Holy Land can one attain true serenity, the opposite extreme of fierce anger (Likutey Moharan I, 155). For this reason, Moses longed to cross over the Jordan to the Promised Land. We learn this from the verse, “And Moses hurried and bowed down to the ground” (Exodus 34:8). Our Sages ask, “What did Moses see? He saw great serenity" (Sanhedrin 111b).
The Rebbe also took pride in his extreme modesty. This may seem like a contradiction, but he was actually humble to the ultimate degree.
He said, “One has not attained true humility unless he is on such a high level that he himself can say that he is modest.” This was the level of Moses, who could write about himself, “And the man Moses was very humble, more than any other man” (Numbers 12:2). It was also the level of the saintly Rabbi Joseph, who said, “Do not mention that humility no longer exists, for I am still alive” (Sotah 49b; see Likutey Moharan I, 4:7).
The Rebbe also attained the level where he could take pride in his tremendous humility, since he had annihilated his ego completely.
Chapter 23
The Rebbe said, “I have banished pride from every part of my body.”
There are some people who are humble, but still have a trace of pride in their hearts. Others have discarded all vanity from their bodies, but still have a vestige in an arm or a leg. The Rebbe attained absolute humility in every part of his body. His heart and his limbs were absolutely nullified.
Chapter 24
From what the Rebbe told us, we understood that in his effort to achieve total self-mastery in his youth, he would often force himself to do things that caused him great pain. He would force upon himself every kind of self-mortification, including such practices as rolling naked in the snow. All this was to achieve complete self-control, in order that he could serve God more perfectly.
The Rebbe said that the greatest exercise of all in self-control was to refrain from scratching oneself. No matter how badly something itched, he would accept it with absolute serenity. As compelling as the sensation might be, he constrained himself completely and did not move a muscle to relieve it. He said that to allow an itching sensation to continue to increase and not so much as move was the greatest possible form of self-control. There is no greater agony than to just sit there and feel this crawling sensation in one’s mind and not do anything about it. We also heard from others what a great torture this is.
Thus, the Rebbe forced himself to undergo every possible form of self-torture. He took it all upon himself with truth and sincerity until he achieved his great attainments. Happy is he!
Besides this, there were the involuntary sufferings that most tzaddikim endured. Nobody suffered as much as the Rebbe. Such agonies were never before seen or heard, and are beyond all description. He was racked with suffering both inside and out (Tzaddik #154; Yemey Moharnat #11). In his final years, consumption devoured his lungs and his pain increased without measure. To describe his fearsome anguish is beyond the power of words.
Throughout all this, the Rebbe said, “My suffering is always in my power.” Whenever he wanted to, he could accept the agony and feel it in full measure. But when he wished to, he could negate it and be totally oblivious to all pain (cf. Bava Metzia 84b).
This was true even when the Rebbe’s suffering increased beyond all measure. We heard that he once said, “When these pains strike, I can bite through a wooden board.” He gritted his teeth so tightly because of his tremendous pain that he could have bitten through a board, so great was his suffering.
During the last three years of his life, the Rebbe’s torments grew even worse than this. They multiplied again and again until they were absolutely beyond description. Some of this is recounted briefly in our other writings (cf. Tzaddik #39). There is much more to tell, but we omitted most of even the small amount we were able to understand, for even this would fill many volumes. The vision will come at its appointed time (Habbakuk 2:3) to tell the whole story, with God’s help.
Chapter 25
In everything that involved holiness or self-mastery, whether concerning desires or emotions, or in accepting great effort and suffering for the sake of God, the Rebbe was awesomely unique. He was totally removed from every desire and human failing. He totally subjugated every pleasure and emotion until not a trace remained that was not devoted to God. He was a person who lifted himself to fearsome heights. It is impossible to speak further of this extraordinary level, for "whoever adds, diminishes" (Sanhedrin 29a).
Most of what we recounted speaks about the Rebbe’s youth, while he was as yet at the beginning of his spiritual growth. Compared to the levels that he later attained, these might even be considered as defects. But we related his youthful struggles and devotions in order to demonstrate what free will truly is and how much choice one really has. If he truly desires, any person can attain a truly extraordinary level.
A person who seeks the path of devotion may find many obstacles in his path. Events may continuously confront him with pitfalls. His desires and emotions may pursue him constantly. Yet if only he has the desire, he can remain stubborn in his devotion and ignore all barriers.
Reading these accounts, a person with any intelligence will realize that even the Rebbe faced such frustrations and difficulties. But he went through everything and was able to surmount all. The Rebbe truly desired to be a servant of God. He truly chose life (cf. Deuteronomy 30:19), and in this way, was worthy of his great attainments.
The Rebbe insisted that his family background played no role in his achievements. He said, “Even if I were not of the family of the holy Baal Shem Tov, even if I had come from the lowliest Jewish family, I still would have attained what I did.” The Rebbe had no secret other than toil and effort, as he devoted his entire being to the service of God.
Chapter 26
The Rebbe spoke out very strongly against those who thought that a tzaddik attained such heights due to the lofty level of his soul. The Rebbe insisted that this was not true, but that it depends entirely on good deeds and effort. He was very specific when he emphasized this.
He said, “Every man can attain the highest level. It depends on nothing except your own free choice. You must truly care about yourself and carefully decide what is truly good for you. For, "Everything depends on one's deeds" (Avot 3:15).
Chapter 27
Therefore, even the fearsome wonders that we saw by the Rebbe are of no concern to us here. According to his high level, these were not remarkable at all. We only seek to relate lessons of devotion, in order that an intelligent reader seeking the truth should be able to derive some inspiration.
There are no excuses. Every person can aspire to the highest level, if only he follows the ways of the Rebbe recorded in this volume.
The main thing is prayer. Accustom yourself to beg and plead before God. Speak to Him in any language you understand — this is especially important. Beg Him to open your eyes. Ask Him to help you along the path of devotion. Plead that you be worthy of drawing close to Him.
The little we have written here should be enough for all who seek the truth.
An Account of His Pilgrimage to the Holy Land
Chapter 1
Before his pilgrimage to the Holy Land, Rebbe Nachman journeyed to Kaminetz.
Great mystery surrounded the entire trip. The Rebbe left his house suddenly and said, "There is a journey before me.”
When he left his home in Medvedevka, taking the route to Medzeboz, he said, “I am going, but I myself do not know where.” He came to Medzeboz and stayed there for a few days. There he was informed from on high that he was to travel to Kaminetz. He left and continued along the way.
Rebbe Nachman traveled with the utmost simplicity. Though he was a well-known Chassidic leader, he traveled like the simple folk, without any pomp or ceremony. He warned his attendants emphatically not to reveal his identity. Wherever he went, he was completely unknown, traveling in absolute anonymity like an ordinary merchant.
He arrived in Kaminetz. At that time, no Jew was allowed to live there or even to spend the night within the city limits. The Jews lived outside the city, and those who had business in the city would go there for the day. They were allowed to remain there all day, but at night, every Jew had to leave. It was a well-known fact that no Jew was permitted to spend the night within the city limits.
The Rebbe entered the city with his attendant, and they remained together until nightfall. As night was approaching, the Rebbe told his attendant to leave the city. He said, “I will remain in the city alone tonight. Come back tomorrow morning and meet me here.”
He spent that night alone in Kaminetz. No one in the world knows what he did that night.
The next morning, his attendant returned to the city and found the Rebbe, as he had been told. The Rebbe went with him into many houses, finding some excuse to enter each one. He used such tricks as asking for a drink of whiskey and the like. He entered many homes in this manner, but again, no one knew his intention.
Then the Rebbe returned home. Soon after he had spent that night in Kaminetz, Jews were granted permission to live within the city limits.
Chapter 2
The Rebbe said, “Whoever knows why the Land of Israel was first in the hands of the Canaanites and only later settled by the Jews, knows why I journeyed to Kaminetz before traveling to the Holy Land” (see Likutey Halakhot, Milah 3).
Chapter 3
The journey to Kaminetz was a great mystery. Everyone had his own explanation, some praising the Rebbe and others doing the opposite. But they were all wrong. Even those who saw good in this journey did not come close to understanding its true purpose.
The Rebbe revealed some hint of his purpose to his close followers. But even though they knew a little, they did not fully comprehend his purpose.
Once he made a clever remark about this, saying that people constantly mislead themselves regarding everything he does.
Chapter 4
There were some who said that the Rebbe went to Kaminetz to find some hidden writings of the Baal Shem Tov. It was said that the Baal Shem Tov had enclosed some of his writings in a stone, and there was a rumor that it was hidden in Kaminetz. Some said this was the purpose of the Rebbe’s journey.
The Rebbe ridiculed this. He said, “I did not go for that reason. If I needed those writings, they would bring them to my house. But I have no need for them at all.”
Chapter 5
On the day before Pesach 5558 (March 31, 1798), the Rebbe emerged from the mikvah and told his attendant, “This year I will definitely be in the Holy Land.”
During Pesach, the Rebbe spoke on the verse, “Your path was in the great waters, and Your footsteps were not known” (Psalms 77:20). He pointed out the apparent contradiction between the two parts of this verse and gave a lesson reconciling them. In the course of his words, it became apparent that he had definite plans to travel to the Holy Land.
Chapter 6
When the Rebbe’s wife heard this, she was beside herself. She sent her daughter to ask him how it was possible for him to leave them without some means of support.
The Rebbe answered his daughter, “You can travel to your fiance’s parents. Someone will take in your older sister to live as a nursemaid. Another will take in your younger sister out of pity. Your mother can find work as a cook. I will sell everything in the house for traveling expenses.”
When the Rebbe’s family heard this, they all burst into tears. They wept bitterly, but he had no pity on them.
He said, “It is impossible without this. No matter what happens, I must certainly go. Varin di grester helft is shoin dort – For most of me is already there; and the minority must follow the majority.”
The Rebbe said, “I have set my heart on this journey to the Land of Israel. I know that I will find my way blocked with countless barriers, but as long as my soul is in me, I will do everything in my power to go. While there is a spark of life within me, I will continue, and let God do what is good in His eyes” (I Samuel 3:18).
Chapter 7
The Rebbe said, “Every step that I take to the Holy Land will be at the risk of my life. I want to leave right now, no matter how, even without a penny in my pocket. Those who take pity on me will give me something.”
Those closest to him immediately traveled to the nearby villages to gather a small sum, accumulating enough for him to leave. He made plans for the journey with the greatest urgency, not wanting to delay for any reason whatsoever.
On Lag BaOmer, the eighteenth day of Iyar 5558 (May 4, 1798), he set forth quickly and enthusiastically. He made a pact with one of his followers, and they traveled together.
Chapter 8
On Lag BaOmer, the Rebbe left his home in Medvedevka, heading toward Nikolayev. There he found a ship transporting grain and took it as far as Odessa.
At that time, emissaries and other Jews traveling to the Holy Land were afraid to go by way of Odessa, as the route was rumored to be dangerous. But the Rebbe realized immediately that it was better to take a ship from Odessa for many reasons. First of all, the way from his home was much shorter than by the alternative route through Galatz. Also, this route avoided a more serious peril, for the route through Galatz involved great danger in sailing from the Danube River into the Black Sea. Therefore, the Rebbe ignored the rumors and departed from Nikolayev, taking the route through Odessa to Istanbul.
Chapter 9
The Rebbe told his attendant to buy a large quantity of ink and writing paper. As soon as they embarked on the ship in Odessa, the Rebbe began to record his thoughts on the Torah. He warned his attendant not to even look at his writings, and would not give him the key to his trunk until he had promised on his honor.
When they left Odessa, many people came to see the Rebbe off out of respect. Many coaches followed him and a great crowd escorted him joyously, singing and dancing all the way.
They embarked on the ship and set off on the Black Sea. During their first day at sea, a great storm arose. The winds whipped up high waves that washed over the ship’s deck. The Rebbe and his attendant had to remain tightly closed up in their cabin so as not to get soaked by the spray. The thunder, lightning and howling winds were beyond description. The two were so terrified by the noise of the rain and thunder, and the roar of the waves, that they found it impossible to sleep at night.
After four days at sea, they arrived in Istanbul. The Rebbe and his attendant sat on the dock, not knowing where to go. They could not tell the Jews from the Turks, and having no knowledge of the language, had no way of asking.
The people saw them sitting on the dock and found a translator who could speak their language. This interpreter acted as their intermediary, immediately finding them lodgings in the Galata quarter.
After an hour or two in Galata, the Rebbe said he did not want to remain there. The interpreter asked, “Do you want to go to the main part of Istanbul? That section contains the capital and the sultan’s residence. Only men are allowed in that quarter. It is completely off-limits to women, and married couples cannot stay there.” The Rebbe replied that he would prefer that.
The interpreter then told them, “Several emissaries from the Holy Land are staying there, among them two of your countrymen. These two were in Israel and are now returning to Europe.”
As soon as the Rebbe heard this, he agreed to meet them. He told his attendant, “I warn you, do not reveal my identity. If they ask about me, do not tell them who I am.”
They left Galata and went to the old city of Istanbul. They were introduced to their countrymen who were returning from the Holy Land.
One of the pair immediately recognized the Rebbe’s attendant. He asked him, “What are you doing here?” The attendant answered, “I am traveling with this young man to the Land of Israel.” The other inquired, “But who is he?” The attendant replied, “He has a travel card from the Austrian Kaiser’s government.” He did not reveal the Rebbe’s identity, as he had been warned.
They got the idea that the Rebbe was a government agent on his way to make trouble for the great leader, Rabbi Abraham Kalisker. They imagined that he had been sent by a number of groups who were opposing Rabbi Abraham. They stubbornly clung to this mistaken idea, causing much conflict between themselves and the Rebbe.
They began questioning the Rebbe’s companion. “Is he carrying a letter?” The attendant replied that he was not. “Then why is he going to the Holy Land?” The attendant replied that he did not know.
They decided not to rely on the attendant anymore, feeling that he was trying to mislead them. They told him, “Even though we knew you to be an honorable man, we have grave doubts that you have retained your integrity.”
Not realizing that they were referring to the mysterious stranger, they asked the attendant, “Have you asked your master, Rebbe Nachman of Medvedevka, if you should travel with this man?” He answered that he had. But by this time, they no longer believed anything he said. They had already made up their minds that the Rebbe was a schemer, going to cause trouble in the Holy Land.
They went to the Rebbe himself, questioning him about his identity, his home and his family. But the Rebbe stood firmly and would not reveal a thing. They used every possible ruse, trying to discover some clue as to his identity. He understood their game and answered their questions in such a way that they could determine absolutely nothing. He bewildered them completely, twisting and confusing their questions until their only conclusion was that they knew nothing at all.
He constantly played a different role. For example, one day they asked him if he was a Kohen. He answered that he was. The next day they suddenly asked him if he was a Yisrael. He again answered that he was. They asked him, “Yesterday you said that you were a Kohen. How can you now tell us that you are a Yisrael?” He answered, “Kohen is the attribute of mercy (Tikkuney Zohar #30). Yisrael is another attribute. Thank God, I have both attributes.”
They stormed at him, “It is obvious that you are one of the oppressors. You are using tricks, trying to hide it!” They began to hate him bitterly, hurling every possible insult at him. For many days, they cursed him in every way imaginable. One of the pair was especially ugly in his words toward the Rebbe.
But the Rebbe began to reach out to them. He told them, “I cannot tell you the reason for my journey, for my heart has not even revealed it to my mouth (Kohelet Rabbah 12:10; Tikkuney Zohar #21, 50a). Yet, ‘How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity’ (Psalms 133:1) – even if they do not know one another’s true intention.”
They replied, “If you tell us your reasons, you will certainly receive great good.” The Rebbe answered, “I do not need any good from you, and no matter what happens, I will not tell you my reasons. But if you wish, you can obtain much good from me.”
They said to him, “The way you speak, one would think that you are a famous tzaddik such as Rabbi Baruch, Rabbi Shalom or Rebbe Nachman. They speak in these mysterious ways. But we are pretty sure that you are not one of them. We know what your business is. You’re going to cause trouble for the great tzaddik, Rabbi Abraham.”
They warned the Rebbe that a letter would precede him to the Holy Land, warning the community that he was a troublemaker and a spy, so he could not mislead them.
They also plotted with the ship’s agent, a Polish Jew married to a Sephardic woman. His mother-in-law was an important official and had access to the palace.
They went to the agent and told him, “For God’s sake, don’t let this stranger leave for Israel. He is one of our enemies, trying to have Jews expelled, Heaven forbid. Do anything you can to stop him and God will grant you a double reward!” The Rebbe and his attendant knew nothing at all about this.
Chapter 10
The two continued to insult the Rebbe in every possible way. But he endured it all, not revealing his identity despite all their taunts. He purposely tricked and confounded them, provoking them all the more. He played a different role each time they spoke to him. Once he spoke in such a manner that they were certain that he was from Lagurna. When they realized they were wrong, they were enraged.
Another time, when he spoke to them, they thought he was the son of the Maggid of Kamarna, who had great opposition. In the middle of the conversation, the Rebbe suddenly began to berate the Kamarner. They screamed at him, “Isn’t he your father?” Then they realized that they still had no clue as to his identity.
Each time they spoke to him, the Rebbe seemed to have a different name. No matter what name they used to address him, he would answer to it. Still thinking he was the Kamarner’s son, they once called him Yeshaya, which was the son’s name. The Rebbe immediately responded. They were positive they had caught him this time, and told him, “Now we know for sure that you are the Kamarner’s son.” Then the Rebbe spoke up and argued to the contrary.
In the course of the conversation, they began to speak of the gift that the Kamarner was sending to his son. The Rebbe immediately began to plead, urging them to show it to him. They were sure they had identified him as the Kamarner’s son, but then he began to curse the Kamarner again. They became furious at him and berated him with insult upon insult.
They fumed at him, “Why do you constantly change your name? One day you have one name and the next day, another. The name of your city seems to change just as often!” The Rebbe replied, “Every name is connected to a given attribute or sefirah. Thank God, I include them all.”
The entire story would consume many volumes. The Rebbe often woke them from their sleep and began to converse with them. They became furious, cursing him violently.
One Friday afternoon, they returned from the mikvah. The Rebbe was lying on the couch barefoot, without his belt or hat. He asked them, “Why does my body feel light all week? I never feel any fatigue, but now I feel so weary that I can hardly stand.”
They replied, “Every Friday afternoon, as Shabbat approaches, the soul goes up on high and the additional Shabbat soul descends (see Beitzah 15b; Zohar II, 135b, 204b). In your case, your weekday soul has left, but you are not worthy of the Shabbat soul. Therefore, your body is like a stone.”
The Rebbe mocked them, “Woe is to you! You cannot even answer a simple question.”
The Rebbe asked if he could spend Shabbat with them. They refused, inviting only his attendant. The Rebbe would not eat any meat there and was forced to eat dairy foods for Shabbat. They, however, had a shochet who provided them with meat.
That Friday night, they had a bitter dispute with the Rebbe, almost throwing him out of the house. Although he had not been invited to eat with them, he stopped in for a visit. But they began to quarrel with him, causing a great commotion and trying to throw him out of the house. This happened again during the day.
All this was actually done intentionally. The Rebbe allowed himself to be insulted in every possible manner. He told his attendant, “These insults are very beneficial to me, clearing the way both there and back. Before I reach my goal, I must overcome great barriers beyond measure or description. Without this degradation, it would be utterly impossible for me to set foot in the Holy Land.”
Later, the Rebbe said explicitly, “If not for these insults, it would have been absolutely impossible for me to reach my destination.”
Another time, he said, “I saw that I would have to die in Istanbul, but the humiliation and insults saved me. To approach the Holy Land, one must overcome many barriers” (cf. Tzaddik #36).
The Rebbe told his attendant to give his detractors some of the food and preserves they were carrying. He said to give them a little of everything.
The two men who had been so insulting to the Rebbe then set out for home. The Rebbe asked them to take along a letter to his family, but they refused. They did, however, take along a letter from his attendant.
As soon as they left, they wanted to open the letter to see if they could find any clue as to the Rebbe’s identity. But when they looked for the letter, they could not find it among their belongings. Try as they might, they could not remember where they had put it.
The letter did not appear until they arrived at the port of Walachia. When they opened the letter, they discovered the Rebbe’s true identity. As they saw, so they wondered (Psalms 48:6), and they were very frightened. The man who had insulted the Rebbe the most died soon after returning home (see "His Pilgrimage to the Holy Land" #29).
Chapter 11
Soon after these two left Istanbul, the agent to whom they had spoken came to the Rebbe and his attendant. He showed them letters from all the Jewish leaders, asking him to help people traveling through Istanbul. He did this to emphasize his importance in the government.
He told the Rebbe, “If you tell me about yourself and your family, good! But if not, the power is in my hands to do you evil (Genesis 31:29), and you will not be able to undo it (Isaiah 47:11). Not only will you not be permitted to continue your journey, but you will be imprisoned. Even a fortune in bribes will not help when I get through.”
When the Rebbe heard this, he immediately told the truth. He said that he was a great-grandson of the Baal Shem Tov and a grandson of Rabbi Nachman Horodenker.
The agent’s attitude changed immediately and he left in a completely different mood. When he returned the next day, he was very submissive to the Rebbe.
He spoke with great friendliness. “Rebbe, may God be with you. I will do everything I can, now that you have told me the truth. Had you not disclosed your identity, I would have imprisoned you, and I would have been punished in this world and the next. But now, please, let me help you. If you need a ship or anything else, I am ready to serve you in any way possible.”
Chapter 12
The next day, the agent came and told them that a ship carrying some Jews had arrived from Europe. Among the group was an expert shochet who could provide them with proper kosher meat. The ship had also brought the renowned Rabbi Zev Wolf of Charni, Austria, and other Jewish leaders.
The Rebbe’s attendant was introduced to Rabbi Zev, and told him the truth. Rabbi Zev immediately sent for the Rebbe, inviting him to stay with them. They urged the Rebbe in the friendliest way imaginable, but the Rebbe would not go. He said, “It is good for me where I am.”
One reason why the Rebbe avoided Rabbi Zev was because he was doing all sorts of childish things in Istanbul. He went through the streets barefoot and hatless, wearing only his yarmulke and coat lining. Running in the street like a young child, the Rebbe played childish war games. He would name one child, "France," another something else, and engage in mock warfare using real battle strategy. This was one of the many childish things he did in Istanbul.
Then an epidemic broke out on his street, forcing him to flee. He then had to move in with Rabbi Zev. Rabbi Zev celebrated the event with a great feast in the Rebbe’s honor, showing him immeasurable respect.
The Rebbe did many things that may have annoyed Rabbi Zev, but as the saying goes, “Love breaks down all barriers” (Bereshit Rabbah 55:11; cf. Sanhedrin 105b). Rabbi Zev was so fond of the Rebbe that he ignored everything, even though he found some of his antics quite shocking.
The first Shabbat that the Rebbe stayed with them, Rabbi Zev led the Friday evening prayers, as was the custom with many great tzaddikim. The Rebbe had prayed earlier and was already eating the Shabbat evening meal when Rabbi Zev began his worship. This happened again during the morning prayers and again at the late-afternoon seudah shelishit.
As soon as Rabbi Zev sat down to seudah shelishit, the Rebbe began to recite the Grace after Meals. He asked his attendant to tell him as soon as the stars became visible, and then prayed the evening service. He recited the Havdalah ceremony ending the Shabbat, lit his pipe and entered Rabbi Zev’s house.
Rabbi Zev was just beginning seudah shelishit in the way of the renowned masters. In walked the Rebbe with his coat wide open, wearing only his yarmulke and smoking his pipe. Rabbi Zev still greeted him with great respect. He immediately said the Grace after Meals, prayed the evening service and recited Havdalah. Then he sat up all night speaking with the Rebbe with the utmost affection.
All that happened in Istanbul, both spiritually and materially, would consume many volumes. There are the stories of all the Rebbe’s childish pranks, as well as the account of his visit to the grave of Rabbi Naftali.
It is apparent from the Rebbe’s words that he was in tremendous danger in Istanbul. He was certain that he would remain there until he died, but God miraculously intervened and he was saved. The main things that helped were this childishness and degradation.
When the Rebbe returned from Rabbi Naftali’s grave, he fainted suddenly and lay still for several hours. They placed him in bed, where he lay all night until noon the next day. He was on the verge of death, until God helped him and restored his health.
This was just one of the great dangers and countless barriers that he encountered every day in Istanbul. The Rebbe said that the insults and childishness sustained him.
Chapter 13
The Rebbe said, “At the time, I became so involved in childishness that I became totally accustomed to acting that way. Later, when I reached the Holy Land, it was difficult to act otherwise. I actually had to force myself to break these childish habits.” It had become such a habit that it was very difficult to break.
Later, when he returned from his pilgrimage, he was very unique in this respect, lowering himself in order to reach higher levels. In this respect, his wisdom was outstanding.
It is a well-known fact that one must lower himself in order to proceed from one step to a higher one. At such a time, one must make use of childishness and absolute simplicity.
The Rebbe never remained on one level, but constantly raised himself step by step. His understanding of these concepts was therefore very profound – deep, deep, who can fathom it? (Ecclesiastes 7:24).
Chapter 14
At that time, France was at war, having invaded the sultan’s territory in Egypt and Palestine.
When the news that war had broken out and that the French were patrolling the Mediterranean reached Istanbul, the Jewish community immediately forbade any Jew to leave the city and travel by sea. The Rebbe ignored all this and was willing to risk everything.
He told his attendant, “I am willing to expose myself to any danger, no matter how great, but I am not willing to risk your life. Take money for expenses and return home in peace, if you wish. I will travel alone, hidden and concealed from the people of Istanbul. For I am renouncing myself to whatever may happen.”
His attendant refused to leave, saying, “Where you go, whether to life or to death, there your servant will be (cf. II Samuel 15:21). Where you go, there will I also go" (Ruth 1:16).
In His great mercy, God reversed things through His guidance (Job 37:12). It so happened that a great sage from Jerusalem lived in Istanbul. He had been collecting charity for the poor of Jerusalem and intended to remain in Istanbul for at least another year.
One day, this sage got up and spoke to the Istanbul community. He said, “It has been revealed to me that I must return to Jerusalem immediately. I see that the day is approaching for me to be taken from this world. You need not fear that the French will harm any Jew going to the Holy Land. God will protect them from all injury. He will watch over all who travel with me and we will arrive in peace. For my burial place has already been marked in Jerusalem.”
The community heeded the sage and immediately booked a large ship. They announced that whoever wished could leave on this ship. A large number of people embarked – men, women and children both of the Sephardic and Ashkenazic communities. Among the passengers going to the Holy Land was Rebbe Nachman.
The Rebbe spoke to this sage and asked him to take him along to Jerusalem, saying, “I do not wish to go to Safed or Tiberias.” The two then made a pact.
As soon as they were at sea, a great storm rose up. The ship was in great danger. They mounted to the heavens and plunged to the depths (Psalms 107:26). In their hearts, all who were aboard felt it was the end. They cried out to God, making the night like Yom Kippur with weeping, confession and begging for forgiveness and atonement.
All the while, the Rebbe sat in absolute silence. Several people began to question him, asking how he could keep still at a time like this. The Rebbe did not reply.
The Rabbi of Hottin’s wife was a learned woman. She had been crying and screaming all that night. She berated the Rebbe for remaining silent. It seems that the Rebbe cursed her.
The Rebbe said to her, “If you will only keep still, things will go well. This shall be your test (Genesis 42:15). Remain still, and you will see. The sea shall become calm for you” (Jonah 1:12).
They took the Rebbe’s advice and everyone on board kept quiet. It was near daybreak, and immediately God turned the storm into calm, and their waves were still. And they rejoiced (Psalms 107:29-30).
Chapter 15
After a day or two, the ship found itself without drinking water. All the water had been used up except for one barrel of putrid, bad-smelling water that was crawling with worms. This water was carefully rationed to the passengers, one measure to each person. The danger of thirst grew more serious than all previous perils.
All the passengers, men, women and children, began to pray from the depths of their hearts (see “His Wisdom” #39). Suddenly a great wind began to blow, sweeping the ship along. Within two days, they sighted land. They had arrived at Jaffa, the port of entry to Jerusalem.
The Rebbe wanted to leave the ship immediately and accompany the sage to Jerusalem. But God willed otherwise (cf. I Kings 12:15), and the Turks would not let him enter the country. They saw his strange clothing and long peyot. This, together with his inability to speak their language, convinced them that he was a French spy. Neither persuasion nor pleading availed, and the Rebbe was constrained to remain on shipboard.
It was two days before Rosh HaShanah, and the captain intended to remain in Jaffa for at least several more days.
Soon a heavy surf arose, rocking the ship so much that it almost capsized. The captain was helpless and soon realized that he could not remain there. He was very surprised at this, and inquired. The old Sephardic sages told him they had a tradition from father to son that this was the place where Jonah had been cast into the sea. They were forced to lift anchor, for the ship could not remain there for the night.
They left Jaffa and arrived in Haifa on the eve of Zakhor Brit, the day before Rosh HaShanah. The ship rested at the foot of Mount Carmel, near the Cave of Elijah.
In the early morning, all the people on the ship said Selichot with great joy. Then they prayed the morning service. After their prayers, everyone disembarked in Haifa.
It was then that the Rebbe first set foot on the Holy Land. He had come to the place for which he yearned. He had thirsted for this moment with the greatest longing. For this he had risked his life thousands of times, literally casting his soul aside (Judges 9:17).
He set foot on the Holy Land! He was actually standing there! The tremendous joy that he experienced at that instant is beyond all imagination. If all the seas were ink (Shabbat 11a), it would not describe it in the least.
In that instant, the Rebbe attained everything. He later said, “The moment I walked four steps in the Holy Land, I achieved my goal.”
That afternoon, the Rebbe went to the mikvah. Then he went to the synagogue and remained there until after the evening prayers.
When he returned to his lodgings, the Rebbe was overflowing with joy. Every minute, he looked at his attendant and exclaimed, “You are so fortunate that you were worthy to be here with me!”
Then the Rebbe told his attendant to read all the missives they had brought along. All the Rebbe’s followers had given him slips containing their names so that he would pray for them in the Holy Land. The entire household shared the Rebbe’s joy throughout the Rosh HaShanah meal. This joyous mood continued until they finally went to bed.
On the morning of Rosh HaShanah, they went to the synagogue again. When they returned to their lodgings, the Rebbe’s mood changed to one of immeasurable concern and brokenheartedness (see “His Wisdom” #41, #42, #45). He would not speak to a soul for the rest of the holiday (cf. “His Wisdom” #21).
Chapter 16
As soon as Rosh HaShanah was over, the Rebbe was ready to return home. He wanted to leave at once, not wanting to visit anywhere – even the holy cities of Safed and Tiberias.
The Rebbe’s attendant wanted very much to travel to and feast his eyes on all the sacred shrines in the Holy Land. He told the Rebbe that there was a caravan leaving shortly, and they could join it to Tiberias.
The Rebbe replied, “You want Tiberias? Then go hire donkeys!” His attendant hurried to the stables and put down a deposit. The moment he returned from the stables, the Rebbe asked him if he had secured donkeys, and he answered in the affirmative.
Then the Rebbe said, “Go this minute! Get the deposit back! If they won’t return it, forget about it. But I will not leave now!”
Two or three hours later, the Rebbe’s attendant became extremely ill. Then he thanked God that he had not traveled with the caravan.
Chapter 17
The people in Safed and Tiberias soon heard that the Rebbe had arrived in Haifa. Their leaders immediately sent word, asking him to visit their communities.
Emissaries from Tiberias arrived and spent Yom Kippur with the Rebbe. They had letters from all the great tzaddikim living there, requesting the Rebbe to spend Sukkot in Tiberias. The Rebbe, however, ignored the request completely. He told his attendant to buy him etrogim for the Sukkot festival. The attendant went to the chakham of Haifa and gave him twenty paras for etrogim. The chakham went to an Arab field and brought him three beautiful, choice etrogim.
While the Rebbe was in Haifa, a mysterious event took place. A young Turk came to his lodgings and sat there, speaking to the Rebbe at length. Since he spoke in Turkish, the Rebbe could not understand a word he was saying. The Arab was there for each meal, day and night. From his actions, it seemed that he was very fond of the Rebbe.
One day, the Turk came to the Rebbe fully armed and in a state of rage. He began to scream at the Rebbe in Turkish. The Rebbe sat there dumbfounded, not understanding a word he was saying. But a woman from Walachia was in the house and she understood Turkish. As soon as the Turk left, she told the Rebbe, “For God’s sake, flee from this house! This Turk has just challenged you to a duel!”
The Rebbe flew from the house and hid in the home of Rabbi Zev of Charni. They concealed him in an innermost chamber.
The Turk soon returned to the Rebbe’s quarters, looking for him. He said, “Where is the man who was here? Tell him that I am very fond of him. If he wants to go with the caravans to Tiberias, I will give him donkeys. I will even give him my own horse! From now on, he has nothing to fear from me!”
So it was. The Rebbe returned to his quarters and the Turk came and sat there, not saying a word. He just sat quietly and smiled. Then he began to act friendly to the Rebbe, displaying an unusual degree of affection.
The entire episode was extremely mysterious. The Rebbe said, “I suffered even more from that Turk’s love than from his hatred and anger.” From the Rebbe’s holy words, it appeared that his dealings with that Turk had placed him in great peril. It also seems that we heard the Rebbe say this Turk was the Evil One himself.
Whatever the case, God had mercy and protected the Rebbe. He was saved [and left] in peace, thanks to God’s kindness.
Chapter 18
During Chol HaMoed Sukkot, the entire community went to the Cave of Elijah, where they celebrated with singing and dancing. The Rebbe went along but did not take part in the festivity. He merely sat there with a broken heart, appearing to be in a very dejected state.
Rabbi Zev went to the Rebbe’s attendant and asked him, “What is this all about? Your master has been depressed since Rosh HaShanah. God only knows if this is good.”
On Simchat Torah, the congregation made the customary rounds in the synagogue, dancing joyfully with the Torah scrolls. The mood was especially jubilant because of the many chassidim there.
The Rebbe was in the synagogue, but would not even carry a Torah. He just sat there with his head bent, looking utterly dejected.
[This was always the Rebbe’s way. Each time he wanted to accomplish something important, it was preceded by an extremely brokenhearted mood. This happened very often (cf. “His Praises” #6).]
After Simchat Torah, the Rebbe told his attendant, “Thank God, I have attained my goal. Everything has been accomplished with the greatest degree of perfection. I was going to stay a while because of my love of the Land, but now I have changed my mind. Go book passage for us back to Istanbul. I am ready to return home today!”
The Rebbe’s attendant refused to listen. He said, “I am not yet ready to return. I still want to see Tiberias and the other holy places.”
The Rebbe replied, “If you really must see Tiberias, then hire donkeys and we will go.” This was always the Rebbe’s way; he was never stubborn about anything.
They got the donkeys and traveled to Tiberias, arriving there in the evening. All that night, the people of Tiberias went to meet the Rebbe. As soon as one would leave, another would come. Many dressed in their Shabbat garments in honor of the Rebbe. Because of this, he did not sleep all that night.
When the Rebbe first came to Tiberias, he stayed with a cousin who was also a grandson of Rabbi Nachman Horodenker. However, the community felt that a larger house would provide him with more peace of mind. It was agreed that the Rebbe should stay in the home of the saintly Rabbi Zvi Harker.
Rabbi Abraham Kalisker, head of the Chassidic community in the Holy Land, lived in Tiberias at the time. He sent a message to the Rebbe saying that he had just received a bloodletting treatment and could not come to greet him. The Rebbe answered that he had already intended to go to Rabbi Abraham. He went immediately and Rabbi Abraham greeted him with great affection and respect. The bond of friendship that was forged between the two is beyond all description.
Rabbi Abraham pleaded with the Rebbe to stay with him. The Rebbe answered that he could not move in permanently, but would spend one Shabbat there. The very next day, Rabbi Abraham sent a message inviting the Rebbe for the next Shabbat, the Shabbat of Noah.
On Friday night, the Rebbe bowed his head for Rabbi Abraham to bless him. Rabbi Abraham jumped back, trembling violently. He began to speak with such great excitement that it was impossible to understand him. His final words, however, were clear: “How abashed we are before a descendant of the holy Baal Shem Tov.”
Rabbi Abraham absolutely refused to bestow his blessing on the Rebbe. However, as soon as the Rebbe’s attendant bowed his head, Rabbi Abraham gave him the blessing.
The meal was the scene of great rejoicing. Rabbi Abraham asked the Rebbe to deliver the Torah lesson, but he absolutely refused. Rabbi Abraham then said the lesson himself. The same thing took place at the Shabbat morning meal and again at seudah shelishit.
Rabbi Abraham delivered the lesson with fiery enthusiasm, shouting so loudly that it was impossible to understand his words. Again, only his last words could be heard: “This is the root of devotion to God.” The Rebbe praised his lesson beyond all measure, saying that it was second to none.
We also heard this from the Rebbe’s holy lips. He said, “Perfect sincerity only exists in the tzaddik, Rabbi Abraham.” Another time, he said, “I have seen many tzaddikim. But I have seen perfection only in this holy man” (cf. Tzaddik #553).
Chapter 19
That Sunday, Rabbi Abraham went to visit the Rebbe. The two conversed for a long time.
After a day or two, the Rebbe became extremely ill. He sent a pidyon to Rabbi Abraham, asking that he pray for him. As long as the Rebbe was sick, Rabbi Abraham visited him daily.
The Rebbe’s illness caused him to be directly involved in an episode with an informer.
This individual had recently arrived in the Holy Land and had become an informer for the pasha, causing much hardship for the Tiberias community. He had had the community leaders arrested and held in prison for nine weeks. Some Sephardic Jews went to the pasha and paid a large ransom to free these prisoners. They captured the informer and attempted to strangle him. He was able to escape only by feigning death.
He complained to the pasha and was appointed as overseer of the city, to do as he pleased. Accompanied by a regiment of Turkish troops, he returned to Tiberias with great fanfare. When the Jewish community saw the troops, they fled the city. They were so terrorized that they did not even wait for the women and children, leaving them crying bitterly in the city. Every house was filled with great weeping.
The Rebbe wanted to flee with them, but was prevented by his infirmity. He made an attempt to leave the city, but had to return. This was all God’s doing (Psalms 118:23), for it resulted in the entire community being able to return. It turned out that the Rebbe was able to control this informer completely. When the informer went to the Rebbe, he literally humbled himself before the Rebbe’s feet.
The entire story would consume many volumes. In short, the Rebbe made use of his great intelligence, totally subjugating the informer. By the time he was finished with him, he was able to tell his attendant to announce that all who had fled could return. In this way, the Rebbe’s illness resulted in everyone returning to the city.
The people later found out what had happened. The informer was a complete hypocrite, acting as if he were most pious. As soon as he met the Rebbe, he began to speak about religious matters. The Rebbe pretended that he knew no better, so that it was actually he who tricked the informer. The informer was greatly impressed with the Rebbe’s wisdom. The Rebbe then told him, “A good overseer should pray to God, asking him to help his Jewish brethren. He should be a pious, humble person.”
The Rebbe continued to impress the informer with his wisdom and cleverness. He began to speak about prayer, convincing the informer that he should make a habit of chanting the Psalms with great humility. The informer assured the Rebbe that he would heed this advice, but the Rebbe acted very skeptical. Finally, he said, “If you want to convince me that you are truly a humble and pious man, this is what you must do: Gather the young boys in my house, and in their presence, chant the Psalms with great weeping.”
This was soon accomplished, and the informer began to chant the Psalms with tears literally rolling down his cheeks (cf. Lamentations 1:2). Suddenly he felt faint, and became extremely ill.
Now, this informer had told the pasha that the Jews were bringing a large sum of money from Europe. The Turks had posted special watchmen at all the city gates, waiting for these emissaries. It was only with God’s help that they were prevented from learning the details of the transaction. The Rebbe’s attendant was later sent to Haifa, where he collected the funds from the emissaries and brought the money to Tiberias. The money was then delivered to the Rebbe, who gave it to the community leaders for distribution.
When the informer later recovered, he boasted that he would cause the community even more evil than before. He suddenly fell ill again, but this time he did not recover. He died soon after.
When the people returned to Tiberias, they all came to the Rebbe and made a great celebration. The community was safe again, and the Rebbe was very happy that he had had the merit to bring this about.
The Rebbe then went to visit the grave of his grandfather, Rabbi Nachman Horodenker, who is buried in Tiberias. He obtained donkeys and visited the other holy tombs there.
He traveled to Meron and visited the cave where Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, author of the Zohar, is buried. The Rebbe told all the young men accompanying him to engage in prayer and study of the Zohar, which they did with great enthusiasm. But the Rebbe himself appeared to be doing nothing, just standing in the cave, glowing with joy. Every few minutes, he went over to his attendant and said, “Fortunate are you.”
That night, they went from room to room in the cave. Again the Rebbe cautioned those who were with him to recite passages from the Zohar. However, the Rebbe himself did not say a thing. He merely walked around very happily, humming to himself until daybreak. Putting on his talit and tefilin, he then stood and prayed for several hours.
From there, they all went to the cave where Hillel is buried. The Rebbe displayed great joy, chanting Psalms 33 and 34 along with the others.
Then they went to the grave of Shammai, where the Rebbe began to act very depressed. At first, he was very surprised at his mood, but later said that he understood its reason. The reason, however, was never revealed.
They also traveled to the other tombs. Approaching a very high mountain, they were informed that there was a cave near its peak where the Tanna, Rabbi Kruspedai, is buried. They attempted the climb, but it was too steep for the donkeys. The Rebbe jumped down from his animal and practically climbed on his hands and knees to the top. His attendant followed close behind, and the two finally reached the cave.
After staying there a while, they went down the mountain. Then the group went to another cave, where a holy child was buried.
The cave of the holy child was like a deep pit in the ground. There was a rumor that a snake lived in the cave, and people were afraid to enter it. A large tree grew next to the mouth of the cave, and the Rebbe climbed down by one of its roots, ignoring all warnings (cf. Tzaddik #35). He was the first one ever to enter the cave, and didn't find any snake at all inside. From that time on, people were no longer afraid to go into the cave and it was visited by all.
From there, they visited some other tombs in Meron and then returned to Tiberias.
Soon after they returned, the Rebbe told his attendant to go to Haifa and obtain passage on a ship heading home. The attendant went to do his bidding, but as soon as he came to Haifa, a ship arrived carrying the renowned Rabbi of Shepetovka, along with a group of emissaries returning from Europe.
It is at this time that the episode mentioned above occurred. The emissaries heard that the informer had told the pasha about them, and that troops were on the lookout for foreign Jews carrying money. Meeting the Rebbe’s attendant, they decided it would be best to send the money with him. Because of this, the Rebbe’s attendant had to return to Tiberias without securing passage.
When his attendant returned, the Rebbe said simply, “It is probably God’s will that we remain in the Holy Land a while longer.”
The Rebbe instructed his attendant to obtain donkeys for a journey to Jerusalem. When Rabbi Abraham heard that he was leaving, he asked the Rebbe to remain in Tiberias a while longer.
The Rabbi of Shepetovka soon arrived in Tiberias. One of the first things he did was to make a large feast in honor of the Rebbe. He acted very friendly toward him and they conversed for a long time. Their conversation was absolutely private, and no one knows what went on between them. But soon after that, the Rebbe made peace between the Rabbi of Shepetovka and Rabbi Abraham Kalisker.
A short time later, an epidemic broke out in Tiberias, forcing the Rebbe to flee from his quarters. As soon as he secured lodgings in a new area, the plague broke out there too. Then the Rebbe had to flee from Tiberias altogether.
The flight from Tiberias involved tremendous peril. The city gate was sealed because of the plague and the only exit was through a cave. After crawling through this cave, the Rebbe found his way blocked by a high wall.
The Rebbe climbed the wall and slid over it, thinking he had escaped. But when he looked down, he saw water beneath him. There he was, hanging by his hands and feet with nothing but the sea below him. He had only the most meager grip and was sure that he would fall and drown. At this moment, he lifted his heart to God, praying with all his might. In His mercy, God rescued him (see “His Wisdom” #117).
Finally, the Rebbe left Tiberias and reached Safed. He was there for just a few days when news arrived that the French were about to invade Acre.
Chapter 20
As soon as the Rebbe heard this, he sent someone to Acre to obtain passage on a ship flying the flag of Ragusa. He knew that Ragusa was not involved in the war between the French and the Turks, and as a neutral nation, ships flying its flag were not subject to impressment. The Rebbe was quite aware of the practice of impressment, in which passengers on enemy ships were captured and forced into military service.
The Rebbe’s envoy was successful in obtaining passage on a ship from Ragusa. News that the Rebbe was attempting a voyage home soon reached Tiberias. Rabbi Abraham immediately sent a special messenger to Safed with his own personal letter, as well as one from the community as a whole. A letter was also dispatched from the Rabbi of Shepetovka, but the Rebbe was in too great a hurry to wait for it.
On Thursday evening before Shabbat Zakhor, the Rebbe left Safed with his attendant. They traveled all that night, arriving in Acre just three hours before Shabbat began.
They found their agent and sent him to make arrangements for them to board the ship on which they had booked passage. He returned with the news that their ship was already filled beyond capacity and it would be impossible for them to board.
The Rebbe and his attendant realized they would have to spend Shabbat Zakhor in Acre. They had a letter of introduction from Rabbi Abraham to a wealthy man who lived there, and were able to spend Shabbat with him. When they heard the news that over fifteen thousand Turkish troops were stationed in Acre, they became quite alarmed. Later, they learned that the gates of the city had been sealed, which filled them with great apprehension.
In the middle of the Shabbat morning prayer service, the agent burst into the synagogue with the news that it was impossible to find another Ragusan ship, only Turkish merchant ships carrying cargo to Istanbul. War would break out in another two or three days. Remaining in the city involved great peril, for many people were sure to be killed in the battle.
The agent said to the Rebbe, “It is better to risk the danger at sea than to remain here. Why risk your life? Permit me to obtain passage on a ship for you right now! Where life is in danger, Shabbat may be ignored” (Shabbat 132a; Pesachim 83a).
The Rebbe agreed, and the agent paid a gold dinar as deposit for their passage on a Turkish trading vessel. Meanwhile, many British troopships arrived in Acre. The city became crowded with troops, and the terror of the civilians knew no bounds.
That Shabbat was one of fear and apprehension. The entire household spent the day praying, pouring out their hearts to God. The Rebbe and his attendant felt some degree of security because they had obtained passage to leave the city. But they were also distressed, since events had proceeded so rapidly that they had not had time to secure food and provisions for their voyage.
They spoke about their previous journey, when they had had everything they needed on the ship. At that time, they had carried the customary provisions – enough for four or five months at sea. How different would it be now, when they would have to set forth without a crumb!
On Sunday morning, the Rebbe sent his attendant to the agent, asking that he attempt to secure the customary provisions for the voyage. The agent and the attendant went to the market, but not a thing was to be bought.
The attendant returned to the Rebbe and found him wearing his talit and tefilin, totally engrossed in prayer. The attendant was so upset and frightened that he collapsed and fell unconscious. The Rebbe did not even know that he had returned.
Meanwhile, a great cry arose in the city. An order had come from the pasha giving all civilians a two-hour time limit to leave the city. The city gates would remain closed; all civilians were to attempt to leave by sea. Anyone found in the city after the two-hour limit would be killed.
The Rebbe soon learned the reason for this. The city was very overcrowded, and the Turkish troops needed room to maneuver. In order to make room, they were prepared to slaughter everyone in the city.
The city became a seething mass of terror. Screams and wails filled the streets. In the midst of all this commotion, the Rebbe made his way to the sea. He was not even aware of his attendant, who was still lying unconscious.
When the attendant regained consciousness, he realized that the Rebbe was no longer in the house. He waited as long as he could and then went out to the courtyard. He saw men, women and children in the streets, screaming, weeping and wailing with great bitterness. The cry of the city seemed to rise to the very heavens (cf. I Samuel 5:12).
Their host’s wife saw him and ran over to him, screaming, “Woe! A pity on your youth! You will be killed here! At least we had some good here. Now we must accept the bad with the good. But all the more pity on you. You have had nothing here, and now you will be lost to your family!”
As she continued to wail in this manner, the attendant became more and more terrified. He was numb with fear and could not move a finger. Finally, he summoned enough presence of mind to ask her about the Rebbe. She replied, “I imagine he has fled to the sea.”
As soon as he heard this, the attendant realized the Rebbe must have fled empty-handed, since their chest was still in the house. That chest contained all their money and possessions, and they could not leave without it. He tried to lift it, but it was obvious he could not carry it by himself.
Suddenly a Jew appeared and offered to carry the chest. Together, they fled toward the sea. But soon they found it impossible to move through the city because of the great confusion. Troops were surging through the city, ready to stab anyone who got in their way.
But here again God had mercy and arranged things for the best. Suddenly the Turks standing on top of the wall announced that they had a good report. The people pressed around the wall to listen, and a lane opened to get through the city to the sea.
When the attendant arrived at the docks, he saw a confusion of ships and could not find the Rebbe. He looked up and down, searching one place after another. Finally, he came to a small sailboat filled with Turks. When he looked more closely, he saw that there, sitting in their midst, was the Rebbe. The Rebbe and his attendant were overjoyed to be together again. They had both experienced considerable anguish, each not knowing where to find the other.
The small boat eventually left the port and brought them to a large cruiser anchored in the harbor near Haifa. At first, they were very surprised to see their ship bristling with cannon. They discussed this and came to the conclusion that, because of the war, even the merchant ships were carrying weapons.
There had been so much confusion when the Rebbe was fleeing that he did not have time to get further information from the agent. He had no idea where his ship was, and somehow was led to believe that this small boat would bring him to it. Little did he know that he was being brought to a Turkish warship!
Even as they boarded, they had no idea of their great peril. They were actually walking onto a warship loaded with troops and weapons. The Turkish troops were unpredictable enough on land. To travel with them by sea was to take one’s life into one's hands.
The Turks helped them on board and gave them a private room. Not knowing the language, they had no way of communicating with the Turks. But they certainly realized that something was wrong when the Rebbe’s attendant was handed a loaded gun.
They sat in their room without a thing to eat or drink. After two or three hours, they closed their door and tried to get some sleep.
Another hour or two passed, when suddenly their door was opened and a voice said to them in Russian, “What are you doing here? Don’t you realize this is a warship and you can get killed here? Didn’t you see the loaded cannon all around?”
They were thoroughly aroused from their sleep, and grabbed the stranger by his sleeve. They could not see his face in the dark, but felt that his jacket was made of linen.
While they had slept, a battle had begun. They came out of their room and saw cannonballs flying toward the ship. They realized they were in mortal danger, and decided it would be better to return to the Holy Land to die than to be killed at sea.
They begged the stranger to help them get off the ship and return to shore. He replied that he would need a considerable sum of money to try to bribe the captain.
The Rebbe’s attendant went to their chest to get the money. He waited a while, thinking that the stranger would speak to the captain in the meantime. After a short time had passed, he went to the captain, holding out his hand with the money. The captain began to scream at him in Turkish, but the attendant could not understand a word.
They had no other choice but to find the stranger who had spoken to them in Russian. They searched the ship over and over, but all they found were Turks and Arabs. There was not a single person who spoke Russian.
Having lost their only means of communication, their apprehension grew by the minute. They literally began to tremble with fear. They tried to get some rest during the night, but could not even lie on their cots, so great was their trembling.
More and more, they began to understand the grave danger they were in. Their only chance lay with the stranger who had spoken to them during the night, but they had no idea who he was. The only thing they knew about him was that he spoke Russian.
Chapter 21
The next morning, the harbor patrol boarded the ship. The Rebbe and his attendant searched for the captain, ready to fall before his feet if necessary and beg for permission to return with the patrol. But before they could find him, the ship lifted anchor and the wind carried them out of the harbor. The sounds of battle were coming closer and the sailors were very frightened, wanting to leave as quickly as possible.
From where the Rebbe and his attendant stood on the ship, they could hear the sound of the bombs and cannon, even though they were already very far away. The very thought of their great peril drained them of all strength and they both fell into their cots, thoroughly exhausted.
Even as they lay there, they became aware of a new crisis. They had not brought any supplies and now found themselves without even water to drink. But here again, God was with them. The ship’s cook learned of their plight and had pity on them. Every morning and evening, he would sneak a cup of black coffee to each of them. This sustained them, but their strength was rapidly draining away.
They soon reached the point that they did not have enough energy to leave their cots. Closed up in their cabin, they had no idea at all where the ship was headed. For a while, they heard a storm raging outside and felt the ship being carried rapidly along. But all the while, they did not know where they were going.
Eventually they heard the sounds of their ship being tied up at a port. They crawled out of their cabin to see where they had landed. Realizing immediately that it was not Istanbul, they asked the Turkish cook where they were. He replied that this was the land of Adal.
They had already heard of Adal. The people there had a rule that any Jew who fell into their hands should be killed as a human sacrifice. When the Rebbe and his attendant understood that this was where they were, they fled to their cabin and locked themselves inside. For three days they hid there, utterly terrified. They knew they could not remain concealed much longer, and had no idea how long the captain would stay there.
Suddenly a storm arose, snapping the anchor ropes. The sailors had no chance to raise sail, and without an anchor, the ship was totally out of control. There was a great cry on board, for even the Turks were terrified. From where they were huddled, the Rebbe and his attendant could hear their cries: “Homan! Homan! Woe! Woe!”
The ship tossed at sea all that night. In the morning, the wind subsided and they were glad because the seas were quiet (cf. Psalms 107:30). But they had not been led to their desired haven (ibid.), for the storm had carried them back to within a day’s journey of Acre.
Another storm broke out that afternoon, sweeping the ship along. For several days and nights, the ship was tossed about at sea. They mounted to the heavens and plunged to the depths (ibid., 107:26). The captain and his mates had no idea how to control the vessel. They reeled and staggered like drunkards, and all their wisdom was in vain (ibid., 107:27).
That Thursday at noon, they began pumping the third compartment as usual. It usually took about fifteen minutes to pump out all the water that accumulated in the bilge each day. This time, they pumped all day and were still drawing water by nightfall.
Soon the entire upper deck was awash with water pumped up from the bilges. The water seeped into the Rebbe’s compartment, making it impossible for him and his attendant to sleep on their cots. The Rebbe climbed to a higher place in the compartment and lay down there; his attendant found a similar place. They remained inside, not wanting to be seen by the Turks.
The water continued to rise until the pumps could no longer function. The sailors had to tear out the pumps and install pulleys in an attempt to remove the water with large barrels. Meanwhile, the storm continued to rage, whipping up mountains of water. The waves seemed to rise to the very height of the heavens. This continued all through the night.
When his attendant approached him the next morning, the Rebbe told him, “My heart is faint with terror. Deep down, I know that we are in great danger, and this is by no means a simple matter. I do not know what they are doing, but the heart still sees.”
His attendant comforted him, “Don’t be afraid. Thank God, everything is fine.”
The attendant then went to look into the hold where they were drawing out water. He saw nothing but water rippling, just like in a river. Cargo normally took up all but a third of the ship’s capacity, but it had been thrown overboard. Only water was left in the hold. Still, the vessel was riding very low and it was obvious that the water’s weight far exceeded its capacity. The sailors were trying feverishly to pump out the water, but still it continued to rise.
Realizing that nothing less than a miracle could save them, the Rebbe’s attendant returned to their compartment. He was trembling with anguish and terror, and could not get a word out of his mouth.
The Rebbe saw him and said, “Where is your tongue? You yourself said that nothing was wrong. Why are you so afraid?”
The attendant replied that there was no logical way they could be saved without a miracle. The water was now rising faster than the men could remove it, and the laborers’ strength was failing (cf. Nehemiah 4:4). The sailors had gone without food, water and sleep for almost twenty-four hours.
The attendant then told the Rebbe that he had not yet said his morning prayers. The Rebbe told him, “You need not recite the entire service now. Accept the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven in the first verse of the Shma, and say the first and last three blessings of the Amidah (cf. Orach Chaim 110:1). That is enough at a time like this” (see Berakhot 4:5).
Then the Rebbe told him, “Take every penny that we have and divide it in half. Bind your half next to your body, and I will do the same with mine.”
His attendant was mystified. “Why bother?" he asked. "Can’t the fish swallow us without money?”
The Rebbe replied, “Do as I tell you. The Jews were inside the Red Sea and did not drown. At least we are still in a ship … .”
Having taken care of this, the Rebbe told his attendant to dress himself in his fur coat and bind his belt tightly around it. The Rebbe did the same, acting as if he were preparing to embark on a journey.
The Rebbe’s attendant asked him, “Why don’t you pray for us? I cannot even recite the prayers that I say every day, and certainly cannot open my mouth to God at a time like this. But you, Rebbe, know how to pray at all times, for the general and the specific.”
The Rebbe replied, “I am now in a state of constricted consciousness. I am far from God. Still, my counsel is faithful. We are now in fierce danger and I have no other choice. God knows that I have never made use of the merit of my fathers, but now I am compelled. I pray that God help us for the sake of my grandfather, Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov, of blessed memory; for the sake of my grandmother, Adil; and for the sake of my grandfather, Rabbi Nachman Horodenker.” The Rebbe said no more.
They looked up and suddenly saw a thick, dark cloud in the distance. Their hearts filled with dread, since this was the type of cloud that usually creates a waterspout. If the ship were to be drawn into the vortex, it could easily be sunk. The only solution would be to fire at the cloud with cannon, but the sailors were too busy bailing out the ship and could not stop for an instant. It seemed as if one trouble was coming on top of another, like a wasp and a scorpion biting at the same time.
Again God came to their rescue and a very strong wind began to blow. The ship began to skim across the waves like an arrow shot from a bow. When it approached the waterspout, the cloud opened up like a mountain pass and the ship crossed through safely.
God also enlightened the sailors’ eyes and they discovered the place where the ship’s hull was leaking. The Turks slaughtered a ram and used its skin to repair the leak.
They had been in fearsome peril, but had managed to come through safely. It was a Friday, and everybody on the ship rejoiced greatly. In the afternoon prayers before Shabbat, the Rebbe chanted Psalm 107 (“Give thanks to God”) with great joy.
They continued on their voyage, passing many places. During the entire voyage, the only thing the Rebbe and his attendant had to eat was the dried bread that the cook gave them from the ship’s stores. Their meager rations were often putrid and crawling with maggots. Even for these morsels, they had to plead with the cook like beggars until he had pity on them.
As the days passed, they realized that Pesach was rapidly approaching. One day, they discussed this and were very concerned. The food from the ship’s stores could not be eaten during the festival, and it would be impossible to fast for the entire week.
After an hour or two, they came to a large city perched on a rocky mountain in the middle of the sea. The Turks bought a considerable amount of fruit there. For a thaler, the Rebbe and his attendant were able to buy a bushel of carobs – what we call buxer.
The Rebbe said, “This is also very good right now. If necessary, we can subsist on these carobs alone during the eight days of Pesach. Now, if God helps us, we will also have matzah and the Four Cups of wine for the Seder.”
Chapter 22
Even after overcoming these threats, the Rebbe and his attendant were still in indescribable danger. They were two Jews alone on a warship filled with Turkish troops. These Turks would think nothing of selling two Jews as slaves in some faraway place. The very thought filled the Rebbe’s heart with dread.
He began to think about it. What would he do if he were sold as a slave in a faraway place where there were no Jews? What if nobody knew about it? How would he keep the commandments of the Torah? This particular worry bothered him the most.
The Rebbe pondered the possibilities again and again. Finally, he was worthy of realizing that he could serve God even if he were unable to actually keep the commandments. He comprehended the devotion of the Patriarchs who lived before God even gave the Torah. They also kept all the commandments, even though they often did so only in a symbolic manner. Thus Jacob fulfilled the commandment of tefilin through the sticks he peeled while watching Laban’s sheep.
The Rebbe thought along these lines until he understood how he could keep all the commandments in this manner. He could continue to serve God even if he were sold as a slave in the most distant land.
No sooner had the Rebbe arrived at this conclusion than they sighted land. It was the night before Pesach when they arrived at the island city of Rhodes, a great city unto God. They knew that this city had a thriving Jewish community. Here they would be able to buy matzot for Pesach and wine for the Four Cups.
The Rebbe and his attendant were overjoyed by this prospect alone. They never imagined that the captain or the sailors would actually let them go into the city. Everything seemed to indicate that the Turks were going to imprison them, rob them of all their possessions, and perhaps even sell them as slaves.
Chapter 23
It was the morning before Pesach. The captain and a number of sailors were preparing to take their small boat and go to the city. The Rebbe and his attendant came to the captain and, using gestures, communicated that they needed some kind of bread. The captain told them in sign language, “There are Jews in the city. You can have bread brought for you.”
The hearts of kings and princes are in the hand of God. In His mercy, He turned the captain’s heart and confounded his thoughts. Without thinking, the captain blurted out that he would take one of them along to buy their bread.
The Rebbe’s attendant went with the crew. He was allowed to go to the city alone, with just one sailor following him to make sure he didn't escape. But even the way to the city involved great peril. It was a time of war and it was obvious that he was from a distant land. He could easily have been imprisoned as a spy with nobody to defend him. But again God protected him, and he passed through all the gates without being stopped.
He finally came to the chief rabbi and told him the whole story. They were captives aboard a warship, and they themselves did not know what the captain intended to do with them. He could not supply the details, but this he knew: They were prisoners and in great danger.
It only took a few minutes to tell the story, but it seemed like hours. The rabbi wanted to hear more and more about their adventures. It was obvious that the attendant was suffering greatly, but the rabbi kept telling him not to worry.
The attendant felt pressed because he wanted to buy matzot and wine and return to the ship before sundown. Suddenly God sent him another thought. While in Tiberias, he had heard Rabbi Zvi Harker mention that his wife came from a renowned Sephardic family. She had a brother in Rhodes who was a great sage and tzaddik. He could not remember the brother’s name, but he did recall the name of Rabbi Zvi’s wife.
He asked the rabbi if he knew a sage who had a sister in Tiberias, and the rabbi said he did. He notified this sage and told the attendant to hurry to his house. By the time the attendant arrived, the sage had already been apprised of everything the attendant had told the chief rabbi.
As soon as the attendant walked in, the sage told him, “There is nothing to be afraid of. You will tell me the whole story at the Seder.” The attendant could hardly believe his ears. He trusted in God, but never imagined that salvation would come so quickly. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that he would spend the Pesach Seder in a Jewish house.
The sage said, “We have already placed a warrant of seizure on the captain and the ship, and he will allow you to leave the ship. Of course, he will first have to be given whatever sum he requests. It is good to give thanks to God (Psalms 92:2), Who saved you in such a miraculous manner.
“The fact that you got to the city was a miracle in itself. I cannot imagine how the captain became so confused that he let you come here. He is a known thief and his wickedness has roots going back countless generations. He is a descendant of the Five Lords of the Philistines, which is how he signs his name.
“But now there is no time to listen to stories. Let us go to the barber and get you a haircut for the festival.” Immediately they went to the barber and the attendant had his hair cut. After he had bathed, they conversed over a cup of coffee.
In the course of the conversation, the sage said, “We heard that you are traveling with another man. Who is he?”
“Have you ever heard of the Baal Shem Tov?” the attendant asked.
“Of course," the sage replied. "We are quite familiar with the works of the renowned chassid of Polonnoye.”
The attendant then told him, “The man traveling with me is a great-grandson of the Baal Shem Tov. He is also a grandson of Rabbi Nachman Horodenker. And as you shall soon see, he is also a sage in his own right.”
The sage was overjoyed. “To rescue even a simple person is a very great mitzvah," he said. "But now God has given me the opportunity to redeem a man who descends from such holy roots!”
The sage hurried with a small group of men to fetch the Rebbe. Meanwhile, two groups of Turks clashed with each other, resulting in a fight in which several people were killed in the main thoroughfare. When they saw what was happening, the sage and his companions took the Rebbe’s attendant and fled to the sage’s courtyard. They locked themselves in and were afraid to leave for several hours. By the time it was safe to leave, the sun was beginning to set and it was too close to the festival to go and get the Rebbe.
The sage then spoke up and said to the attendant, “From the time I was a child I have devoted my life to Torah, prayer and good deeds. I am sure that God will reward me for this. Besides this, I also have a portion in the World to Come along with every other Jew. I am putting all this up as security. If, Heaven forbid, I do not exert myself to do everything in my power to free you, let me lose it all!
“My intention is not to boast, but to assure you that I am not abandoning you, Heaven forbid. There is simply no time to complete the task today.
“Now, hurry! Take all the matzah that you need for the Seder. I have shemurah matzah as well as regular matzah if you want it. Take some of my best wine and greens, and everything else you will need tonight. Take whatever you need.”
The attendant returned to his ship, which was moored far from the city. As soon as he boarded the ship, he called out. When the Rebbe heard his voice, he was overjoyed and ran to greet him. The Rebbe had spent all that day waiting with yearning eyes for a sign of his companion. As long as the other was gone, he stood there, his eyes growing weary.
The Rebbe said, “Thank God, you’re still alive! I was sure that they had drowned you and would soon do the same to me. But now, thank God Who gives strength to the weary. You have no idea how much I suffered while you were gone. I no longer had the strength to bear it and was sure that I would die!”
They prayed, and then were able to have a proper Seder. It was a most happy meal, and as they ate, the attendant told the Rebbe everything that had happened.
On the first day of Pesach, the order came to bring the ship to the city and tie it up at the dock. The Rebbe and his attendant remained on the ship for the second night of Pesach.
The next day, the Rebbe’s attendant went into the city to pray in the synagogue. After the service, he was invited to the sage’s house for the festive meal. During the meal, the sage delivered an original Torah lesson. Then he repeated some thoughts from contemporary tzaddikim, including those of Europe. He invited his guest to discourse on the Torah, and the attendant repeated some of the Rebbe’s lessons. The sage enjoyed them immensely, saying, “Such words make me happy deep inside” (Bava Metzia 83b).
After the meal, the attendant returned to the ship, followed by the attendant of the sage carrying choice food for the Rebbe. But the Rebbe saw that his attendant's face looked utterly depressed. The Rebbe was sure that things had taken a turn for the worse, for who knows what had happened that day? (Yebamot 63b). He was so distressed about this that he could not eat.
What the Rebbe did not know was that the sage had pressed his attendant to drink so much wine that he had become drunk. This was why he looked so depressed. The Rebbe tried to question him, but he was in too much of a stupor to respond.
The Rebbe's attendant went to sleep for a few hours. It was only when he woke up that he realized what had happened. He laughed and told the Rebbe, “Didn’t you know that I was drunk? The sage was so happy that he kept asking me to drink. Before I knew it, I had taken too much wine.”
He told the Rebbe everything that had happened at the sage’s house. Fully reassured, the Rebbe ate his festive meal joyfully.
Chapter 24
On the first day of Chol HaMoed, the Rebbe's attendant returned to the sage’s house. The sage advised him to smuggle all their money out of the ship so the captain would not be able to steal it.
This accomplished, the sage went to the captain together with two prominent members of the community. They said, “Give us the two Jews you are holding.”
“What business do you have with them?" the captain replied. "When they came on board, they belonged to no one!”
The captain proceeded to tell them about all the travail that had befallen them on the way (Exodus 18:8). He added, “What I told you is nothing! During the entire voyage there was not an instant without distress. We could have drowned these two or sold them to the Arabs long ago, and all their money and possessions would have been ours. No one at all would have said a word or complained (cf. Isaiah 10:14).
“But now, what can I do? These two must have luck that reaches to the high heavens. First of all, God performed a miracle and the ship found its way here. This would have been enough! But then there was a miracle within a miracle (Shabbat 97a), and God made me crazy enough to actually bring one of them into the city.
“After all this, I really have no right to their money. So give me two hundred thaler to satisfy my crew, and take them!”
They gave the captain the sum and the Rebbe and his attendant were saved. They were redeemed from death to life, from captivity to freedom.
Chapter 25
The Rebbe and his attendant were brought to the city. As they walked through the streets, some Turks remarked that they looked like spies. The members of the community were highly alarmed. They immediately brought their guests their style of clothing and had them dress like the other Jews of Rhodes.
The Rebbe's attendant took it as a joke, but the Rebbe was very troubled. He told his attendant, “Don’t you know that a great complaint is being directed against us on high?” He then told his attendant some wondrous secrets, but the latter would never reveal them.
The Rebbe was received by the local rabbis and impressed them as being a very unique person. His mood became very joyful and he said, “Thank God, we were worthy of being rescued this way!”
They stayed in Rhodes until after Pesach, and the Rebbe was treated with great honor. The community paid the two hundred thaler ransom out of their own pockets, and even though the Rebbe had sufficient funds, they would not let him repay them.
After the festival, the community booked them passage on a ship to Istanbul. It also provided them with a letter asking all communities along the way to help them if necessary.
Many Greeks were on their ship, and a plague broke out among them at sea. The Rebbe and his attendant did not know the cause, but they saw people dying all around them. But God was with them, and a strong wind carried the ship rapidly to Istanbul. The high waves and great speed distressed them, but the fact that the ship traveled so quickly saved their lives.
The ship arrived in Istanbul after only three days at sea, and they remained there another ten days. But even here, they were not out of danger. They had not shown their passports when they arrived, and now the officials would not let them leave. The only solution was to obtain a passport from the sultan, but the official demanded an exorbitant sum for such a document. The amount was so great, it was absolutely impossible for them to pay it.
But God was with them, and they happened to meet a total stranger who agreed to help them. He went to a Turkish minister and wheedled what they needed from him. They had no idea how much he paid for it, but the stranger obtained a document allowing them to pass through the gate and leave the city. He cautioned them, “For God’s sake, don’t breathe a word about this.”
They escaped Istanbul safely and traveled by sea to Galatz. Along the way, they landed on an island and were held as prisoners. They were freed only after a fine of four rubles had been paid for each passenger.
The rest of their voyage was relatively peaceful except for a few storms at sea. They passed a ship filled with Greeks and saw it break up and sink; only a handful of passengers survived.
God guided them toward their destination, and they arrived safely in Galatz for the festival of Shavuot.
Chapter 26
On the way home from Galatz, they passed through Iasi and encountered a great plague there. The epidemic had spread to all the surrounding towns, making travel most difficult. It also caused them considerable trouble when they tried to cross the border. Coming from a plague area, even remaining in quarantine was not sufficient to let them cross.
But God was with them, and they were led safely through it all. They had seen plague and sword and famine and thirst and captivity, but with God’s help, they returned home safely.
They returned complete and intact in body, possessions and Torah. For in the Holy Land, the Rebbe was worthy of attaining a wondrously lofty perception, and his vision knew no bounds.
Chapter 27
All that we have told is less than a drop in the sea of all the anguish and terror the Rebbe suffered during his pilgrimage. The great danger is beyond description, but God was with him, performing awesome miracles every step of the way. He was worthy of attaining his goal and returning home safely. He entered in peace, left in peace (Chagigah 15b), and returned home in peace.
Chapter 28
The great perception that the Rebbe attained in the Holy Land is utterly beyond description. Never had one born of an earthly mother (Shabbat 88b) been worthy of attaining what he did through the air of the Land of Israel (Bava Batra 158b). Words are completely inadequate to describe it.
The Rebbe took great pride in the fact that he had been in the Holy Land. Toward the end of his life, he said that he derived great inspiration just from this. He said, “For a long time, I have known that when a person wants to do something holy, he must face great barriers” (Likutey Moharan I, 66:4; see “His Wisdom” #11).
Chapter 29
The man who insulted the Rebbe so much in Istanbul died immediately upon his return home.
The Rebbe’s attendant asked Rebbe Nachman, “Is it not written, 'For the righteous to punish is also not good'?” (Proverbs 17:26; cf. Sanhedrin 105b).
The Rebbe answered him with the following parable: Once there was a king who was very fond of one of the young princes. He showed the prince all sorts of affection, doing everything he could to attract him.
The child became a young man. One day, he did something highly disrespectful to the king.
The king told him, “No matter how much I love you, it is still impossible to go against the law of the kingdom. The judgment has been passed, and your sentence is death.” The king commanded that the prince be bound in chains and imprisoned.
The young prince began to think about his imminent death. In his mind, he could already feel the great pain he would suffer at the moment he would be killed. But he realized that this agony would only last an instant, and then he would be dead.
Then he began to imagine the anguish of the king. He knew that the king loved him very much and still yearned for his presence. He understood how much pain his death would cause the king, and that this anguish would last forever. The prince worried more about the king’s suffering than his own. He thought and thought about a way to spare the king this pain. Finally, an idea came to him: Shame is considered equal to death (Bava Metzia 58b).
He asked the jail keeper to bring him before the king. Standing before the king, he said, “Truthfully, I know that your suffering is greater than mine. I also realize that it is impossible for you to ignore the law of your kingdom. But I think I know a way out. If you can arrange for someone to publicly shame me, the sentence will be fulfilled, for shame is equal to death.
“Bring me a prisoner who has already been condemned to death. I will provoke him until he becomes angry and publicly insults and beats me. I will be bitterly humiliated, and this will be the same as death.
“Then take this condemned criminal and execute him according to his sentence. The people will think that he was killed because he insulted one of the king’s favorite servants. In this way, neither the honor of the king nor his servants will be impinged.”
The same is true in this case, the Rebbe explained. A man might insult a tzaddik and without realizing it, be doing him a great service. The tzaddik may have been condemned to death for some misdeed. The shame he experiences might then take the place of his death sentence.
Still, this tzaddik is a beloved servant of the king, and it is not fitting that the insult go unpunished. But to punish the man just for insulting the tzaddik is also not desirable, “for the righteous to punish is also not good.”
Therefore, God brings it about that the man who insults the tzaddik should be one who has already been condemned to death. They may happen to be in the same inn (Makkot 10b), and this individual insults the tzaddik. The shame saves the tzaddik from a more permanent judgment. In order to protect the tzaddik’s honor, the other is then punished. The name of Heaven is thus sanctified (cf. Yebamot 79a; Sotah 8b) – but actually it was a dead man who was killed, for he was previously condemned.
Thus we see that God’s ways are straight (Hosea 14:10), and there is no unrighteousness in Him (Psalms 92:16).
Chapter 30
While in the Holy Land, the Rebbe was constantly involved with Torah and prayer. Every day, he would write down what he perceived in the Torah.
When the Rebbe spoke about this, he said, “The difference between the understanding of the Torah in the Holy Land and elsewhere is like the difference between east and west.”
Every day, people came to him, great and small alike, to serve him and thereby hear his awesome holy words of wisdom.
Chapter 31
The Rebbe was once visited by one of the renowned leaders of the Holy Land. This leader was universally respected and was reputed to know the entire Talmud by heart. He was also a master of Kabbalah.
When he visited the Rebbe, he asked all those present to leave. They were left alone together, except for the Rebbe’s attendant.
The leader pressed the Rebbe, saying, “I know that Your Excellency did not come to the Holy Land like most people. Others arrive with constricted consciousness, merely to walk four steps in the Holy Land and thus be worthy of the World to Come, or for similar, small-minded reasons.
“But Your Excellency certainly arrived here in a state of expanded consciousness, to accomplish great acts of devotion. There are many points of devotion in the Holy Land, and we long to know into which of these points Your Excellency has entered. If you reveal the Godly things you wish to do here, I am prepared to serve you with body and soul.”
The Rebbe replied, “My dear friend, please do not pain me with this. To reveal my reasons and devotions here is by no means a simple matter. It is possible that I am already bound by an oath in this area … .”
The leader began to urge him again. “All we ask is that our master at least teach us one of the beautiful, precious thoughts with which God endowed him. We do not have any ulterior motive, Heaven forbid. We only want to hear from your holy lips some new Torah concept that will arouse our hearts to serve God. If God wills, we may also be worthy of perceiving some hint of the point we asked about before.”
Immediately, the Rebbe began to light up, flashing fire, the flame of God (Song of Songs 8:6). His face began to glow, literally burning like fire. He was in such an intense state that his hair stood on end, casting his hat to the floor.
Like tongues of flame, a question formed on his lips: “Do you understand the secret meaning of the tefilin?”
The other replied, offering some Kabbalistic concepts.
The Rebbe transfixed him, “No! This is not the way of perceiving the tefilin. And because you do not understand the true meaning of tefilin, you do not know the secret of the four directions in the Holy Land. Of this, I will begin to give you some hint.”
The Rebbe began the explanation, but as soon as he started to speak, blood began to pour from his throat. He said, “Now you see with your own eyes that I am forbidden from on high to reveal anything to you.”
As soon as the other saw this, he bowed his head and begged the Rebbe to pardon him for having troubled him so much. He was very frightened, and would not move from the spot until the Rebbe had forgiven him.
Chapter 32
When the Rebbe first came to Tiberias, the renowned chassid and philanthropist, Rabbi Moshe, son of the holy Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk, sent to the Rebbe, announcing that he would like to make a match between their children.
The Rebbe replied, “How can one refuse such a match? It is certainly God’s will that my daughter live in the Holy Land.”
The Rebbe said nothing else, and the matchmaker immediately went and told Rabbi Moshe that the Rebbe had agreed. They immediately planned a great feast to celebrate the match.
All the leaders of the Holy Land, from Lithuania and Poland, great and small alike, were assembled at the feast. It was a most joyous gathering, and the meal was accompanied by a flowing conversation covering the length and breadth of the sacred literature.
The leading speaker was the one mentioned earlier, who had asked the Rebbe his intentions in the Holy Land. The conversation led them to a discussion of a quotation from Rashi, but nobody could remember its location. The conversation stopped, frustrated by the lack of this key quotation. Try as they did, no one could recall it. This in itself was a wonder, for here were the foremost sages, each one having recently reviewed the entire Talmud. Still, not one of them could locate this particular quotation.
Throughout this discussion, the Rebbe sat quietly as if he had nothing to contribute. But he realized how distressed they were, and when they urged him until he could no longer refuse, he said, “Is it not a quotation from Rashi’s commentary to Zevachim, at the very top of this page?” They realized that this was what they were seeking, and rejoiced immensely.
The feast lasted from early noon until dawn the next day, and the match was formalized.
Soon after the Rebbe returned home, Rabbi Moshe’s son died. The Rebbe’s daughter [then] married the son of the renowned Rabbi of Volochisk. God willed that the Rabbi of Volochisk would then settle in the Holy Land, taking along his son, the Rebbe’s son-in-law, to study with him. Not too long after that, the Rebbe’s daughter also settled there.
Thus, the Rebbe’s words were fulfilled, for he had said that it was God’s will that his daughter settle in the Holy Land. For not one word that he spoke returned in vain.
Chapter 33
No matter how high he stood, the Rebbe was never satisfied with his accomplishments. He had practiced honestly and earnestly every type of devotion mentioned above, fasting and praying and forcing himself to do things to overcome his desires and emotions. He had already withstood countless temptations and spent days and years secluding himself with God to express his thoughts in his own words.
Constantly striving in this manner, he merited to an extremely high and lofty level of the utmost sanctity and the utmost selflessness, with a degree of closeness to God on the level of the greatest denizens on high. The Rebbe attained all this while he was literally in his childhood. He neither rested by day nor slept or was silent by night. Never keeping still, he toiled and labored day in and day out, until literally in his youth he achieved lofty, awesome sanctity and profound perception on the level of the greatest denizens on high.
But even after achieving all this, the Rebbe was not satisfied and did not allow himself to stagnate. Every hour and every day, he would desire, long and yearn for God as if he had not yet begun to serve Him at all. Even after the Rebbe returned from the Holy Land – where he attained a perception so high that it was beyond measure – until the day he departed from the world in peace, he always had this longing and yearning for God. He may have stood on the loftiest heights, but in his mind he had not yet begun the climb.
It would consume many volumes to tell even the small amount we were worthy of understanding from what we heard from his holy lips and saw with our own eyes. For this was the Rebbe’s way. He would constantly thirst for God, genuinely humbling and pitying himself as if he had never inhaled the perfume of true devotion and had not yet achieved even the level of a beginner.
To understand this, you must imagine a person who had committed every possible sin time and time again. Imagine now that such a person was aroused to true repentance. Try to depict the way he would look at himself. He would certainly have great humility and self-pity, and be bitter and brokenhearted because of his past deeds. All his self-pity and brokenheartedness would not come to a thousandth, or even a millionth, of the great humility, self-pity and brokenheartedness that the Rebbe experienced each time before he attained a new degree of perception.
The Rebbe was a man who never rested or stood still. Even as an adult, when he had already attained an awesome perception of the Godly, he was not satisfied and continued to aspire for more. He accepted upon himself unparalleled suffering and abounded with prayers and petitions urging God to help him. He continued with a powerful, intense yearning until he would finally attain an even higher level of perception.
When he achieved a new level, he would be happy for a brief time. Occasionally, we were worthy of hearing new insights from his mouth and he would experience some joy. But then he would immediately begin anew. All his previous efforts would be forgotten as if he had not yet even taken the first step. He would begin afresh, like one taking his first steps into the realm of holiness.
Often we heard the Rebbe say with longing and yearning, “How is one worthy of being a Jew?” (see “His Wisdom” #159). He would mean these words sincerely, for he truly felt that he had not yet really taken the first step. This occurred numerous times.
Although he reached awesomely high levels, he would constantly seek a higher level, soaring ever higher. Still, he was never satisfied with himself. As soon as he reached a new level, he would again begin anew with a broken heart and deep humility, until he was able to attain a still higher step. This was always the Rebbe’s way, even at the end.
Many times the Rebbe would say, “Now I know nothing, nothing, nothing at all.” There are times when he would swear, “In truth, I know absolutely nothing at all.” He would even say this shortly after he had revealed words of enduring truth (cf. Pesachim 119a; Bava Batra 91b). His wisdom shone forth and still he insisted that he was totally ignorant. In this respect, the Rebbe was most unique.
The Rebbe said, “My teachings are very unique, but my ignorance is even more unique.” That is, he was unique in realizing his ultimate ignorance before God.
Chapter 34
We heard from the Rebbe’s own holy lips that some tzaddikim toil with devotion in order to reach a given plateau. They have a set level to which they aspire, and when they reach it, they are satisfied. They are like servants of a king who aspire to attain a particular rank of office through their efforts.
The Rebbe then said, “If I knew that I was now standing on the same level as last year, I would totally reject myself.” He would consider remaining at last year’s level the greatest detriment, for he constantly aspired to reach a higher level.
There is much to say here, but it cannot all be put into writing. Those who were worthy to see it with their own eyes and hear it with their own ears might be able to understand this to a small degree. They might perceive how the Rebbe never stood still at any level, but always yearned for the next step until he was worthy. This was always true of him.
Even according to our meager understanding, the Rebbe was unique in every way. Beyond this are marvelous wonders and hidden secrets. But we must suffice with this.
Chapter 35
The Rebbe spoke to us somewhat about the concept that the true goal of knowledge is the realization of one’s “not knowing.” He said that this is true of every area of knowledge. Even though a person may attain the goal of realizing his ignorance, it may only be in one area of knowledge. He must then begin to work on a higher plane, aspiring to realize his "not knowing" at this higher level. And no matter how high one reaches, there is still the next step.
Therefore, we never know anything, and still do not attain the true goal. This is a very deep and mysterious concept. We heard more regarding this once after Pesach and will discuss it elsewhere (see “His Wisdom” #3).
Chapter 36
Once a king sent three of his servants to deliver a secret message to another king in a distant land. On the way, they had to pass through lands that were at war with their king.
The first messenger was clever enough to conceal his purpose completely. He passed through the hostile land without its inhabitants ever realizing that he was carrying a secret message.
The second messenger set out through the unfriendly country and was discovered. The people realized that he was carrying a secret message and were going to force him to reveal it. But through his wisdom and endurance, he too was able to escape without revealing the message.
The third messenger was also discovered. Realizing that he too was bearing a secret message, the people imprisoned him and subjected him to all kinds of tortures. They tortured him in the cruelest ways possible, but despite his great agony, he refused to tell them anything. He withstood the test without yielding his secret. Seeing that their tortures were to no avail, his tormentors assumed that they were mistaken and that he actually had no secret. They let him go, and he passed through their land to deliver his message to the other king.
When the three messengers returned, everyone had an opinion as to which of them deserved the greatest reward. Some said that the first messenger was most deserving, for he had acted cleverly enough to hide his secret completely. Others gave the most credit to the second messenger, for though he was discovered, he was smart enough to escape.
But the king said that the third messenger deserved the greatest reward of all. This messenger had already been caught in their net. Certainly, he had also wanted to hide his purpose, but was not successful. After being captured, he underwent every possible torture and torment. Had he revealed even one secret, he would have received the greatest honors [from his persecutors]. Nevertheless, he withstood the test, revealing nothing. Therefore, his reward is above all the rest.
[Those who comprehend will to some extent understand the parable.]